


Control

by underwatermirrors



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And that's on both of you being switches in reality, Angst and Feels, Angst is HIGHLY LIKELY, BDSM, Blindfolds, Bloodplay, Bondage, But he can also be a brat, Countdown, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dominant Reader, Edging, F/M, Femdom, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gangbang, Hair-pulling, He's got control issues but likes to be put in his place, I def have a thing for eye contact, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo likes bottoming but isn't afraid to top, Mild torture, Past Abuse, Pegging, Porn With Plot, Post-TLJ, Praise Kink, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Rimming, Rough Sex, Slapping, Slight Foot Fetish, Sub Kylo, Submissive Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The L Word - Freeform, Trauma, You're a spy for the First Order, adding tags I go, blowjob, light trampling, multiple sexual partners, sub!Kylo Ren, switch - Freeform, this started out as a smut fic for my friends and now it's developing a plot, you have a thing for lingerie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 125,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25154920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underwatermirrors/pseuds/underwatermirrors
Summary: You're a spy for the First Order who has a penchant for particular methods of information extraction. This is well known in the order, but superiors manage to look the other way as it's proven to get the desired results, and quickly. One of those superiors? Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Who, as it turns out, is quite interested in those methods but for more... personal reasons. And as much as he's interested in you? So are you in him.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Knights of Ren/Reader, Knights of Ren/You, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 29
Kudos: 134





	1. Counting Down

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first first fanfic! This was something that started out as a one-shot I wrote for my group chat, and has since evolved into multiple chapters with their support and encouragement and is taking on a life of its own. I'm doing my best, but feel free to leave any constructive criticisms, so I can do my best to improve my writing! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> 8/31/20 update:
> 
> My incredible friend Jess made a playlist for Control! I'm so honored and obsessed. I would recommend listening to it while reading <3
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2olE0ZTQp1CaMT6faRWITR?si=r2vOxFA3QL6gneWVoZv8fg

“You know, I think this is my favorite view of you.”, you say to him as you admire your handiwork. 

Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Jedi Killer, and all around one of the most feared men in the galaxy, was currently lying sprawled out on the black sheets of his bed with his hands tied up above his head to the headboard. He was wearing only a pair of black trousers, his tunic and undershirt discarded off to the side of the bed per your order. He looks at you with a degree of amusement in his eyes while trying to maintain his normal stoic expression. You smirked at his attempt to not let his excitement show at what you were about to do. 

You stood up straight and put your hand up to your mouth in a thoughtful expression. You realized something was missing. “Ah!”, you say as a wonderful idea popped into your head. You went to your bag resting on a nightstand next to the bed and pulled out a strip of cloth you had on hand in case you ever needed something to tie your hair with. 

You moved back to his side and went to wrap it around his head, over his eyes. He pulled away with a look of confusion. “What’s that for?”, he asked with a hint of bewilderment. “Don’t worry about it”, you replied with a laugh. You covered his eyes and tied it a little tighter than what might have been necessary. But you wanted to make sure it didn’t come off. 

You hummed with approval as you realized you’ve actually managed to surprise Ren, who was seldom ever taken off guard. But tonight you had the chance to do what likely very few people had ever gotten to do. 

You had been given the opportunity to fulfill the desires of Kylo Ren, and you were surprised to learn that he wasn’t as dominating as people would have ever suspected. Especially in the bedroom. 

You slid your boots off and began to walk around the bed, the sounds of your footsteps muffled by the plush fabric of your socks. You breathed lightly to try and keep Ren from sensing where you were, so he had to use his other senses to try and guess how close you were to him. His breathing hitched as his excitement began to grow more palpable. 

You pondered where you should start teasing him first. And as the idea formed, a smile creeped on your face. You walked quietly next to his head and leaned in towards his ear. In a low and breathy voice, you asked, “How to begin, I wonder. Oh… I think I know.” You blew softly into his ear and dragged a fingernail up the underside of his arm to his wrist and back down towards his armpit, increasing the pressure a little to scratch the sensitive flesh. He twitched in his restraints while trying suppress a groan and your smile widened at his response. _“Oh this is going to be fun”_ , you thought. 

You repeated the action, but this time, you slowly moved your fingernail up to his chest and lightly brushed over one of his nipples as you continued to trail your fingers on his torso. His body stiffened and arched ever so slightly under your touch as you traced thoughtless designs into his skin. His breathing quickened and you began to trace circles around his various freckles and scars, occasionally teasing his nipples with feather light touches.

His mouth went lax as he began to pant and moan softly from your work. _“Finally”_ , you thought, _“He’s letting go of his need for control”_. You decided it was time to really show him what you could do to him.

You sighed with a modicum of satisfaction as you begin to unfasten your uniform. “You’re doing so well Supreme Leader. I’m impressed, and I think it might be time for a reward. It’s a shame you can’t see what I’ve got on under my uniform yet. I wore it especially for you.” His head tilted towards where your voice is coming from. He swallowed thickly and gasped quietly. A sheen of sweat had formed on his brow and upper lip.

“What do I have to do to see?”, he asks darkly, trying to keep his voice steady. You let out a small laugh. “I thought it was obvious Ren? Stop asking questions, and just behave.”

He stilled and worked his jaw. 

You smirked. _“So maybe he hasn’t let go of it all yet. That’s fine, I’ll get him there soon enough.”_

You walked over to the bed slowly, footsteps louder now that you had removed your socks, and knowing his current sensitivity has made him keenly aware of your movements. You climbed up onto the bed and stood above him, feet planted on either side of his hip. You balanced yourself on one foot and ran your foot lightly up his chest, teasing him in a way others might consider to be degrading. But not him. His brow furrowed as he realized what you’re doing. You rested your foot gently on his throat and applied mild pressure. He tensed and held his breath as you stepped on his windpipe in a light and teasing manner. 

“You like this, don’t you Supreme Leader. Knowing someone else holds power over you for a moment? It thrills you.” You breathed a little bit harder knowing he could easily send you flying using the Force if he really wanted to. This power you held over him was false, but he allowed it in private, so he could experience a release no one else can give him. 

You removed your foot from his neck and slowly sank down to your knees, straddling his hips with yours. You felt how hard he was already through his pants and you felt your core tighten in anticipation. But it wasn’t quite time for that yet.

You felt him try to decrease the space between your groins in an attempt to relieve his need for friction. You rose onto your knees and slapped his thigh. 

“ _Uh uh uh, not yet_. Only good boys get to do that.”, you murmured as he jumped from the smack and cried out from the loss of friction. But he settled back down and fought his baser urges. You leaned down and whispered, “That’s my good boy.” 

You let yourself straddle him once again, getting comfortable as you could. You took the chance to admire how handsome and strong his massive frame was. The first time you saw what was under that imposing mask, a thrill of excitement and attraction ran through you. And also unbridled desire. You loved being the one in control in the bedroom, but you also loved the idea of this giant man dominating you to the fullest. But here you were, sitting in the lap of the most powerful man in the galaxy, reducing him to a pile of indecent desire.

You placed your hands on his abdomen and began to grind tortuously slow on his groin. He gasped and arched into you again, but this time you let him. You slid yourself up and down his length through the fabric of your underwear and his pants. He began to moan again and you laid yourself against his chest as you continued your gyrations so he could feel the lacey fabric of your bra against his skin. You teased his nipples with your fingers and mouth and you could feel he was trying to hold himself together, his overstimulation becoming evident. 

You didn’t want him cumming too fast, not when you had barely begun to derive your own pleasure out of this in comparison to him. So you stopped quickly, raising yourself off of him again. He cried out roughly in frustration and you snickered under your breath.

“Not so fast dear Supreme Leader. You’re not the only one who wants to lose themself in pleasure.”

He huffed, but nodded in understanding. You crawled towards his head, and hovered above him. 

“Do you understand what I want you to do next?” He nodded again. “Good.”, you replied.

You lowered yourself to his mouth and gasped at the sudden pressure you felt on your folds. He hummed appreciatively as he began to lick your cunt. You shuddered and closed your eyes as you felt the ache in your core begin to turn into pleasure as he expertly ate you out. 

_“Oh gods, he is so much better than I anticipated.”_ , you thought to yourself as you began riding his face at an increasing pace. 

You felt how slick your cunt is getting and you felt yourself starting to crest closer and closer to your release. Ren sensed this and picked up the pace, sucking your clit and lapping at you greedily, like he needed it to survive. And just like that, you hit your peak and you cried out while your legs trembled and you lost feeling in them while you rode out your orgasm. 

You took yourself off of his face while you rested for a moment to find your bearings and catch your breath. He licked his lips and breathed heavily while you scooted down the bed to his lower half. 

“You did so, _so_ good Ren. And for being so good, it's your turn.”, you hummed. You grabbed the waistband of his trousers and started to pull them down. He lifted his hips to assist in their removal and then it was your turn to lick your lips.

Your eyes went wide as you took in just how big he really was. He was easily the largest you’d ever seen. And you’d seen your fair share. 

“If you continue to behave this well, I’ll be happy to remove your blindfold. But until then, keep being my good boy, okay?”, you said with a smile in your voice.

He whined a little as he felt your breath hit his swollen cock. You touched the head ever so lightly with your finger. It twitched and he whined a little louder. 

“Poor baby, have I made you wait?” You touched your finger to the beads of pre-cum dripping from the tip and spread around them the head. You then wrapped your hand around him and pumped him experimentally a couple of times. 

Twisting your grip and applying a little more pressure as you began to pick up the pace, his hips lifted a little bit, his control starting to slip a little. You allowed him this and gave him the reward he’d earned. You lowered your mouth eagerly to his cock and licked the underside of his head while you jerked him off. His panting became erratic and you looked at his face to see the expressions of pleasure that crossed his face. 

You took him fully into your mouth and hum as you sucked him off. But you were careful to make sure he didn’t cum too early again. The lewd sounds you were making with your mouth mixed with the moans of pleasure from him were enough to get you soaking wet again.

You felt him get close, and you grabbed him by the base of his cock tightly to stop him. He shouted from the interruption and you grinned. You loved the feeling you got when you stopped someone from cumming before you chose. It just made the actual orgasm that much more fulfilling when it actually happened. 

You felt the frustration and anger mixing with his desire and you knew it was time. You climbed back up to his face and ripped the blindfold off of his face. As his eyes focused, you saw how wild and frenzied he’d truly become. His face was red and shiny with sweat. And his chest rose and fell with his erratic breathing.

_“Ahhhh there’s what I’ve been waiting for.”_

His gaze tore away from your face to look at your body. His eyes widened at the lingerie set you told him you wore for him. His breathing stopped for a moment and then he looked back at your face and he actually _growled_ at you.

You felt your insides clench. He’d let go of himself in favor of his more primitive side. Your excitement grew exponentially and you felt it was laced with a tinge of fear. But you held it together, and you looked at him for a moment with a stoic expression. 

And then you slapped him. Hard.

“Don’t you ever make that noise at me again.”

He turned his face back towards you from where his head had snapped to with a hint of surprise behind those beautiful amber eyes.

Leaning back again, you initiated eye contact with him as you removed your panties and slowly straddled him again. Never breaking eye contact, you grabbed his throbbing cock and slowly lowered yourself onto him. His head fell back to the pillow and his eyes rolled back into his head.

“ _Fuuuckk_ ”, he hissed through his teeth.

You were inclined to agree with that sentiment as you felt how he stretched you out. _“Gods above”_ , you thought as you began to adjust to his outrageous girth and length. He filled you completely up and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to fuck anyone else again without feeling cheated after this. You would never again feel satisfied with anyone else after this affair .

After a moment of stillness, you felt him twitch inside you and you started to move. You began to ride him and set a pace, and he quickly began to meet it with his own quick thrusts. You leaned forward and rested your palms against his chest to help find some stability. 

Your whole body started to tingle with the pleasure this man brought you. You moaned loudly while he grunted and his thrusts became more powerful with each passing moment. You cried out as the sounds of your bodies made you infinitely wetter and your cunt clenched against his cock. 

Suddenly you heard the sound of ripping and then his hands were grasping your hips so roughly you know there would be bruises there for weeks. But you were both too far gone in your pleasure to care.

He attacked your neck with his mouth, biting and sucking it, marking it to make sure others knew that you're his, and his alone. While he continued to assault your neck, he pulled your breasts from the cups of your bra and palmed them with his rough hands. The feeling of his calloused hands rubbing and playing with your nipples made you see stars while you continued to bounce on his dick.

You felt him wrap his arms around you to cup your ass, and hid his face in your neck, all while grunting and groaning into the sensitive flesh he had marked. You pulled his torso flush to yours and you raked your nails down his back, making him hiss and squeeze your ass harder. You could feel both of your orgasms were coming and knew that you’d be cumming at the same time.

In an attempt to gain some control back, you pushed him away a little so you could look him in the eyes and somehow you managed to get out between your panting, “I’m going to count from ten, and when I get to zero, you’re going to cum for me, okay? Okay?!” He nodded. “Good boy.” His hair was stuck to his face from sweat and you pushed it away from his eyes. 

“Ten”

He rolled his hips into you even faster than before, making you swear loudly.

“Nine”

He grunted and began to look at you with an intense admiration.

“Eight”

You looked back at him with an equal amount of admiration.

“SevENNN--”

He grinned a wolf’s grin and lay back down, grabbing your forearms and pulling you down towards him.

“ _Haaah, fuck-- Six!”_

Your cunt clenched around him so hard you were surprised he didn’t come right there and then.

“ _FIVE!”_

He closed his eyes as he made you think about how you’d make sure he never wanted to be with anyone besides you again.

_“foURRR-shit almost there”_

_“THREE, ughhhh yessssss”_

_“TWO- OH GODS YES RIGHT THERE”_

_“ONEEEE AHHHHH”_

He pressed his lips against yours and said against your mouth,

_“zero”_

You threw your head back and screamed as your body turned to jelly in his arms. He roared your name as he erupted inside you. You felt him fill you with heat and his head fell against your chest as you both trembled from your joint release. You felt him slide out of you and you rolled off of him and onto the bed next to him, spent. 

You could hear him still panting next to you and you were too. You felt a grin break out on your face and you turned towards him.

“You know you’ve ruined my having any other partners now, right?”, you asked, licking your lips.

He looked at you and then your lips. 

“Good. Because I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight from here on out.” 

You felt your insides clench again. And here you thought you were the one in control. 

Oh well, you were okay with letting go every once and awhile. Especially for a man like Kylo Ren. 

Things were just going to get more interesting from here on out you supposed.


	2. Velvet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've returned from a mission to find yourself being summoned by Supreme Leader Ren almost immediately. You use the opportunity to turn it into a lesson on patience and discipline. Good thing he bought you presents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got away from me to be honest. Lots of different things happen, but we learn a little more about ourselves. It's pretty dang long though, but I was given some pretty good reviews by my girls, so I'm guessing it's worth it.

_ *Ding* _

Your eyes dropped to your trouser pocket as you heard your datapad signal you’d received a new message. You hid a small smile as you read who’d sent it.

_ “Report to my quarters directly after completing your debriefing. I need to discuss some new information with you ASAP. _

_ -SL” _

You narrowed your eyes at his tone. You huffed as you typed back,  _ “I will make my way there shortly, but I’m afraid I will require a quick stop at my room first. I need to pick up some ‘materials’ first. I hope that doesn’t inconvenience you too much? _

_ -Officer (Y/Surname)” _

You put your datapad down and resumed your debrief report regarding the mission you’d just come back from. You knew he had started keeping tabs on your location and assigned missions since your first night together a week and a half ago, so it made sense that he knew you had returned already. 

So far you’d only had the one “meeting”, as you'd decided to refer to your sessions as, as you both were extremely busy with your own responsibilities in the First Order. He, with his personal missions with his Knights and the overseeing of the entire Order’s operations, and you, with your intel gathering missions. 

You loved going on your missions, but  _ detested _ the paperwork that inevitably followed. It took so long to type up these reports that expected extreme detail of any and all events that occurred during the missions. So the thought of finishing to go have some fun with Ren got you quite motivated to finish it quickly. 

As you typed at a record pace, your datapad pinged again and you picked it up while continuing to look at the holoscreen in front of you, giving it a quick re-read to confirm you hadn’t left anything out. As you nodded to yourself, you checked the new m essage. 

_ “Understood, I’m having a package delivered to your room then. I ask that you review its contents and then make your way to my quarters.  _

_ -SL” _

You quirked an eyebrow with some surprise and suspicion. He’s already buying you gifts? Mildly unexpected but you were excited to see what he needed you to receive before going to his room.

You put your datapad back into your pocket, and smoothed your uniform out before checking in with your superior to relay your report’s completion and that you were heading back to your room to relax and prepare for when the next mission was assigned. 

You walked out and acted as if you were tired and ready for a meal before retiring to your bed, just to give the other agents a good show, but once you turned down the corridor leading towards your room, you picked up your pace with a sense of urgency. Not to get to him quickly, oh no, he was going to have to be patient, like the good boy you were determined to make him. No, you wanted to see what kind of gift he had gotten you. Your mind raced with the possibilities. Jewelry? No, that was too sentimental for him. Though you kind of hoped he might eventually buy you something shiny. Perhaps some new supplies for your sessions? That would be wonderful to see what kind of things peaked his interest and what he wanted to try. 

As you continued to ponder what might be waiting for you in your room, you came up to the entrance of your room and keyed in the unlocking sequence to your room. The door opened with a hiss and you stepped in and let it close behind you again as you spotted a black box sitting on your bed. You smiled wickedly as you noted it was larger than you were guessing. Shiny and smooth, it was shallow and long. You clicked it’s locking mechanisms open and lifted out it’s contents. 

_ “Lingerie, ohhhh and the expensive kind too”,  _ you thought as you appreciated the fine materials and craftsmanship. You had to give him some credit.  _ “He paid closer attention to my taste than I would have guessed, especially when he’s only seen me once in my favorite set. That and because he was too busy going out of his mind with pleasure after my teasing him so thoroughly.” _

It was a gorgeous deep ruby red, velvet set with black lace mesh on the sides of the panties and lining the top edges of the cups of the bra. You quickly removed your uniform and replaced your current undergarments with the new pieces.  _ Gods,  _ it was comfortable. You turned to a floor length mirror hanging on your wall to check out how the set hugged your curves in all the right places.

You practically purred with appreciation at how well it suited you and that it was so incredibly cozy and plush. 

He was definitely starting tonight’s session out in the right direction and you couldn’t wait to praise him. After some punishment first. You weren’t about to let him get away with talking to you in such a demanding tone in his initial message. You understood you had to keep up appearances, especially in any communications that could be potentially read by anyone who monitored the messages being sent non-stop by officers and personnel of the Order. Spies and espionage within the organization were not tolerated by any means and were watched out for by any means necessary.

Your datapad pinged again from where you had left it in the trouser pocket of your uniform. You quickly retrieved it and pulled up the message.

_ “I trust you found it without any problems? _

_ -SL” _

Quickly typing out a reply,  _ “Yes Supreme Leader. I have located the package and I’m reviewing the contents currently. I will be en route in about 10 minutes. _

_ -Agent (y/surname)” _

Almost immediately, a new message appeared.

_ “Good, but I expect your presence sooner, if you can manage that at least? _

_ -SL” _

Your eyes widened. Oh he’s definitely getting punished for that.

You pulled your uniform back on quickly, and turned back to the box. You noticed something else under where the lingerie had been. You let out a gasp of disbelief and smiled again. 

You gathered some supplies from one of your drawers, and threw them into the box on top of the other items that were inside. You closed and locked it, and collected it under your arm to take with you. 

After giving yourself a once over on your appearance, straightening your cap as you exited your room and headed to his quarters, eager to start.

You maintained a neutral expression as you passed fellow personnel and troopers in the corridor. You nodded at other agents, who gave you a nod in return, and continued their walk to their own destination.

Having arrived at the entrance to Ren’s quarters, you stood at the door and hit a button on the control panel to signal you had arrived. The doors slid open and you stepped into the hallway line with more doors that led to the different rooms of his quarters. You headed to the one at the end that you knew opened to his bedroom. 

It opened before you got to it and you strode in, head high.

He stood at the large window that looked out of the Steadfast and into the stars surrounding the ship. He was facing away from you, his back to you, and covered with a long black cape that he wore on occasion. You wondered why he wasn’t already stripped down to his trousers and on the bed like you told him you expected him to be at the start of your sessions. 

Clearing your throat in annoyance, you narrowed your eyes at his back and pursed your lips.

He turned around slowly and looked at you.

“You certainly took your time, didn’t you?”, he uttered in a low voice, smirking.

Someone is playing a dangerous game right now. “And you should know better than to antagonize me,  _ Supreme Leader _ ”, you shot back with a sneer. 

You acted annoyed, but in reality you loved it. You both knew this was a dance that would only continue to escalate until you were both on your backs, red, sweating, and out of breath. And by the stars, were you ready.

You turned on your heel and walked over to his bed. You set the box down and opened it, pulling items out and setting them in a row on his nightstand. You felt his attention drawn towards the items. “Strip. To your trousers. Like we discussed previously Ren. I won’t remind you again next time. And get on the bed.” 

As you continued to organize your selection, you heard him comply. He removed his tunic, undershirt, and gloves and placed them neatly on a couch across the room. His boots thumped to the floor and his socks fell near them. He padded over to the bed and sat down, leaning his back against the headboard, his eyes searching your face while he waited for further instruction. 

You place the box on the floor next to the nightstand.

“Good boy. Now, I’m going to restrain your hands again, but this time, I’m using binders since you ripped right through the rope last time. Okay?”

He swallowed, but nodded his consent. 

“Wonderful. Arms up” You gave him a pleased smile as you restrained one wrist at time so they were pulled to either side of the head board. You sat down next to him.

“Ah perfect. Now that you’re behaving, I think we should talk about how you spoke to me via our messages earlier.” You looked at him with a too-sweet smile as you spoke. He looked at you expectantly.

You backhanded his face with a sharp slap, his head whipping to the side. He turned and looked at you with wide eyes, his cheek already red. You bared your teeth in a feral smile as you grabbed his jaw with your hand and squeezed tightly. Which was a little hard as, like every other part of his body, was larger than the average person. He trembled slightly and exhaled through his nose roughly. 

You tilted your head slightly, and told him, “I expect you to be more careful in how you speak to me in the future. I understand that we are to keep up appearances, but seeing as how I’m the one in control here, I want your messages to be pleasant, not demanding. I can guarantee no one is going to keep too close of an eye on any messages that you send out.”

You got on your knees and rose so you were a little higher up than he is, while still holding his face, and roughly pulled his face towards yours. 

“And even if they do, I doubt they will care too much that you are a smidge nicer in your tone with me. Seeing as how you and I are  _ ‘working’ _ so closely lately in our efforts to spy on the resistance and disrupt their communications and finally crush them.” You purred that last part and rubbed the back of your hand to the cheek you had struck in almost an affectionate manner. 

“Do we have an understanding, my dear?” 

His eye twitched slightly. “Yes.”

You slapped him again.

“Yes what?”, you spat.

“ _ Ah- mm. Yes.  _ Yes Ma’am.”, he mumbled.

You grabbed both sides of his face, digging your nails into his face slightly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Repeat that?” You said looking down your nose at him.

“ **Yes, Ma’am** ”, he responded with a small whine and a wince at the pricking of your nails on his skin.

“Mmmmmm, such an insolent boy.” You released his face and climbed off the bed. “I think I have some things here that will help you understand things a little easier. You faced away from him and began removing your uniform. You heard him inhale sharply as he realized you were going to let him see you in his present. You stopped removing your clothes and looked over your shoulder at him. 

“ _ Ah, ah, ah,  _ remember, only good boys get rewarded. And you haven’t proven that you’ve deserved anything besides discipline yet. I want you to look at the wall you’re facing, and only when I say, can you look. Understand?” He whipped his head to the wall quickly. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Ahhhh there you go, that’s so much better. Not so hard to behave, is it now?”

He hummed softly in agreement.

You finished removing your uniform and went back to the box. You pulled out one of your favorite tools and examined it with a fond smile. You ran your fingertips along the cool leather of its handle, up the shaft, and up to the tip. You smack the keeper of the riding crop on your palm and smile at the exquisite stinging it left in its wake. You notice Ren began to fidget at the sound, but his gaze remains where you commanded it. You smirked.

You sauntered over to him and dragged the tip of the crop along his cheek and his jaw. Biting your lip, you used the crop to turn his head to you. “You may look now.”

His face flushed as he slowly looked you up and down. His mouth parted as his breath hitched and you smiled, realizing just how much he must have been looking forward to this moment. You began running the crop around his body lazily. He began fidgeting at the sudden stimulation.

“Do you like it? I have to say, I do. You might be impatient and demanding, but you do know how to make a girl feel special. Too bad you had to ruin the moment with that impatience. But we can work on that. Starting right now.” The crop stopped on his thigh. You whipped his thigh abruptly. His mouth snapped shut at the pain and he grimaced. 

You started moving the crop again, and his eyes opened again as you got close to his groin. He watched it with a small amount of worry. 

“Don’t worry my dear, I wouldn’t dream of hitting you there… Unless you want that?” You ask with a raised eyebrow. 

“No! I mean, no, Ma’am, please”, he responds, fixing his words quickly.

You chuckle darkly. “Noted.”

As you continued to move the crop around various parts of his body, smacking him with it every so often, he began to grow accustomed to the pain. He started to lose himself to it, and you found you were quite pleased. “ _ So he can be trained. Good” _ , you contemplated.

You found your core starting to ache as you listened to his sounds of pain and pleasure, and you decided it was time to switch gears. You leaned into his ear and whispered, “Finally seeing some progress, I think. Shall we try something else?”

He panted into your ear, and you felt him nod next to him. 

You released the binders and felt his confusion at the sudden freedom. He rubbed his wrists and looked at you, wondering what would happen next. You gave him a coy smile. 

“I want you to remove your trousers, and lie on your back on the floor for me.” His nostrils flared, and there was that eye twitch again. But he listened and did as you asked. He was half hard already as he settled onto the cold floor. You go back to the box and pull out a pair of high heels you had used in the past for missions that required a more elegant look. They were black with red soles. It was like the lingerie set he had gifted you had been made with these shoes in mind. 

You placed them on your feel and stalked over to him with feline grace. You stood next to his head and you saw him turn to look at them. He glanced up at you from his position. You looked at him encouragingly and pointed your toe to him. He took the cue without much pushing, and turned his head back to the shoes. He took your foot into one of his hands and gave the toe a lick. Your head tilted back in satisfaction. 

He continued to lick the shoe slowly, and then you felt his hand grasp your calf and his tongue was at your ankle and moving upwards. You ripped your foot out of his grasp and placed it on his neck and pushed down. 

“I don’t remember telling you that you could do that.” You applied more pressure to his windpipe and you heard him grunt at the blockage. 

He tried to say something, but he couldn’t form the words without air, so you relaxed your foot’s pressure. “I’m sorry Ma’am, please. Forgive me. For making assumptions I shouldn’t, - _ ah _ , I’ll be more careful.” His cock was fully hard now. You sneered down at him.

“That’s right, your job is to listen and do as you’re told. Look at you, you’re so filthy. Getting hard as I step on your throat. Does this excite you? It does, doesn’t it?” You removed your foot and crouched down to him. You were dripping wet, but he didn’t need to know that. Not yet anyways.

“Well then, let’s get to your other present, shall we? Though it really wasn’t even for me was it? Oh no, I’m inclined to think it was just for you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask me in person to do it, so you put in the box for me to find and imply that you wanted it.”

You walked back to the box and retrieved the other part of the gift. You lifted it so he could see you mock him with it. He averted his eyes while his face turned scarlet again. 

It was quite nice, impeccable quality, just like the lingerie. But you were quite surprised when you found it in the box. A double ended strap on. A toy that you could both enjoy, but you would have never guessed he would even know about this kind of toy, let alone be interested in one. You hadn’t pegged a lot of males before, actually, you had only done it once before. And that was because most males felt too insecure about being the one penetrated. So here you were again, being surprised by Kylo Ren yet again. But it made you want him even more than you already did. So with a cat’s grin, you tossed your head towards the bed to express your desire for him to get back onto the bed. He stood up hurriedly and looked at you. 

“On your hands and knees if you could, Supreme Leader.”

He coughed a little and did as he was told.

You kicked off the heels, and retrieved some lube from your stash. You stepped up onto the bed and stopped to think about this situation. As exciting as this development was, you were a little nervous about doing it, because his legs were so long, his thighs were practically as long as your actual legs. Damn this ridiculously large man.

You inserted one end of the dildo into yourself with a small moan, and fixed the harness to yourself to make sure it wouldn’t fall off of you as you were fucking him. Sadly, it wasn’t quite as big as Ren’s girth, but it would have to do. 

After checking to make sure it was secure, you took in the sight in front of you. Kylo Ren in the most submissive pose you knew you would ever see him in. His head was hung towards the bed, his torso supported on his forearms, his ass up, ready to receive. You bit your lip as you thanked the gods for giving you this gift. 

“Have you ever inserted anything into your ass before, Ren?” He looked over his shoulder, his face reddening even further. “I, uh-, hmm, yes”, he coughed. “My fingers.” 

“Hmmm, well, it's a start, but this is quite a lot larger, even than your fingers”, you giggled. “We’ll have to start slowly, we don’t want to do any more damage than necessary.”

You sat down on your knees and applied some of the lube to your fingers to warm it up, and gently spread it around the hole. As you expected, he tensed up at the touch.

“You do realize that you’ll have to relax for this to work, right?”, you snickered.

He huffed an exasperated sigh.

You rubbed his ass cheek with some affection to try and get him to relax. Seeing some of the tension leave his body, you take the chance to tease his hole with the tip of your finger. His gasps slightly as you breach the entrance to work more lube into him. 

You worked your finger into him further as you continued to rub his ass, and dragged your fingers down his leg to keep him relaxed. But it seemed he was starting to enjoy himself quickly as his breathing became heavier and you saw his cock twitch as you rubbed close to his prostate. 

You hummed with encouragement, and whispered some mild praise as you squirted more lube around his entrance. You added a second finger and he jerked a little with a moan. You started to scissor your fingers experimentally to do your best and open him up enough to accommodate the strap on. After a couple of minutes of playing with him, you removed your fingers and stood back up. He whined at the loss of contact, but perked up as he realized what was about to happen.

As you rubbed some lube on the dildo, you smiled cheekily at him and said, “Now this is where I need you to really relax. I’ll start slowly so you have time to adjust, but I ask that you tell me immediately if something feels wrong. Though I’m sure you’ll be enjoying this thoroughly.”

He looked over his shoulder at you, and you looked back as you circled his hole with the tip of the toy. He clenched his jaw a little, but then forced himself to release the tension almost immediately. 

You slowly pressed the head into his entrance and his eyes closed shut at the breach. Still going ever so slowly, you continued. He released a small gasp as you finally inserted the dildo all the way to the hilt. Your breathing was uneven with anticipation, but you had to make sure he was okay before you tried to move. Agonizing as that was.

“How does it feel Kylo?”

His eyes fluttered open.

“Filling”, he replied with some effort. He nodded to give you his approval to continue. 

Your eyes widened with excitement. You slowly retracted and pushed back in slowly as well. You couldn’t rush this. He hissed at the movement, but it wasn’t from pain. He was just getting used to being stretched. It was unfamiliar territory for the most part for him, but you could tell he wasn’t uncomfortable. You slightly increased the pace of your hips and he began to grow accustomed to the sensation. You looked at him with heavy eyes as your own pleasure began to grow. 

If he was open to this kind of play, then you could bet that you would be able to introduce him to a whole new world of kinks. You grinned at the revelation.

You heard him whisper something under his breath. 

“I’m sorry Supreme Leader, I’m afraid I didn’t catch that”, you panted. 

He raised his voice so you could hear. 

“Faster.”

Your eyebrow quirked up and you smiled wickedly. 

You smacked his ass with an open palm. He cried out from the surprising blow. “I do believe you forgot something?”, you teased.

“Fffu- faster,  _ please. _ ”

“Ahhhh, there’s a good boy. Remember, you have to ask nicely when you want something”, you replied breathily.

“Yes Ma’am. Please, fuck me faster.”

Those words struck you at your core. Your pleasure was rising quickly. You picked up your pace and the sounds of your hips meeting his ass was enough to make you bite back a moan. His breath was staccato and in between them were grunts and cries of pure pleasure. He bit his lip and his breathing turned ragged as you hit his sweet spot. 

A few more hits there and you would likely tip him over the edge. The thought made you come dangerously close to your own orgasm. 

“Do you like this Ren? Is this what you imagined when,  _ AH-,  _ when you sent me this toy? That I would fuck you into oblivion? That I would be the one to open the doors you wanted so desperately wanted to open yourself, but felt too afraid to do so?”

His breathing hitched and he hummed in acquiescence. 

“I want to hear you Ren, I want to hear your pleasure. Don’t hold back. I want to hear every  _ filthy  _ thought and I want you to call my name as you cum, understood?” 

You rammed into him even faster and he began to tremble. He began swearing and muttering half to himself how good this felt. You smacked him lightly across the ass again as you continued your thrusting, your pace becoming uneven as you started to lose control so close to the edge. He suddenly reached down and started to jerk himself off, he was close too. 

You bent over as your vision started to blur slightly. You whispered to him.

“Cum for me.”

His body went rigid as he lost himself in his orgasm, the stimulation of his being fucked and him fucking his hand proving to be too much. He yelled your name over and over as he shot ropes of cum onto his bed spread. You followed close behind as you continued to pound him though both of your climaxes. He fell face first onto his bed, exhausted and panting.

You fell back onto your hands and your behind, struggling to catch your breath and waiting for your vision to clear.

How was it that this man affected you so differently than your previous partners did? You narrowed your eyes at the back of his while you pondered it. You don’t recall having ever reacted to anyone as strongly as you did to him. Maybe it was that he was the most powerful person in the galaxy. But you realized that there was something more. But you couldn’t quite figure out what that more was.

He turned over to look at you. You quickly changed your expression into one of mild exhaustion.

“Have you eaten since you came back?” You gave him an incredulous look before giving a laugh. He looked at you questioningly.

“No actually, my presence was requested immediately after turning in my report. Remember?” You cooly replied.

“I’ll have something sent up.” 

You smiled, still in partial disbelief. “ _ First gifts, now dinner. I think I’ve made quite the impression.” _

But then again, so had he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've got a schedule figured of for writing this thing yet. We'll see if I even need to. But thank you for reading if you make it this far!!


	3. Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This starts out pretty plot heavy. I'm really trying to start getting the plot rolling. I almost didn't even write smut for this chapter, but inspiration took hold and we got a treat. Hope everyone is enjoying so far! Besides writing, I also make Kylo/Adam Driver edits and funny vids on Tiktok! My username is @underwater_mirrors <3

You slid to the edge of Kylo’s bed and rolled your neck and shoulders to stretch a bit while you watched him climb off the bed himself and stood up to stretch himself. He groaned as he did, his body likely a bit sore from his being fucked so thoroughly. He walked slowly over to where he had left his clothes, and pulled on his underwear and trousers, and went to a set of drawers and pulled out a long sleeved black shirt that looked soft and worn. He eyed you as he strode by, giving a small side smirk.

“I would suggest taking the harness off and getting dressed while I order some food up for us. Would you like anything in particular from the kitchens?”, he asked with a hint of amusement.

Giving him a half-sarcastic smile with one eyebrow raised, you replied, “I’ll have whatever you’re having, but I would appreciate it if you drop the sarcasm when you speak to me.” 

He stopped in front of a desk to retrieve a commlink, and responded back over his shoulder.

“Yes Ma’am.”

A small thrill ran down your spine as your smile turned more genuine. He  _ was _ learning, and quickly too.

As he ordered your meals and checked his datapad for any new notifications, you grabbed your discarded clothes and headed to the refresher attached to his bedroom. Your legs were a little wobbly from the strain and exertion you had used to fuck Ren as hard as you had. It was worth it though, to witness his coming so undone. You removed the strap on slowly and cleaned yourself up. 

You pondered what kind of luck you must have had to be where you were right now. You were a good spy and agent and your work had proven again and again to be extremely effective and this had garnered you plenty of attention and recognition. You rose through the ranks quickly and had become one of the most trusted personnel in the Order. Even General Hux had given you direct acknowledgement. Which was highly rewarding enough on its own, with his pride and general uptightness being so legendary. But for all that work to catch the attention of Kylo Ren? 

Well, to be completely honest, you weren’t sure if it was necessarily the professional side of your work that had drawn him to you to begin with. Your methods were effective, sure, but definitely what most would consider to be highly unorthodox. You had always had a controlling disposition, and personality that demanded respect. So when you were old enough to find yourself in the beds of others, you were the one who was in control. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy the roles being reversed every so often, but you felt the power and control you had over your partners made you feel incredible to say the least. And you started to notice that people had a tendency to let information slip while they were caught up in the ecstasy of pleasure, and for some, delicious pain. And you learned to tuck those little kernels of information away for the possibility of using them for your own personal gain.

That was where you excelled, and you quickly turned these skill sets into a job offer when you found yourself in the rented room of a resistance officer whose loneliness left him crawling after you and loosened his lips considerably. After tiring him out and leaving him in bed, you snuck out and found the nearest installment of First Order troopers and demanded to speak with their supervising officer about some classified information that the rebel had let slip. And from there, you made your way to the top. 

Technically you had slept your way to the top, but not with a single officer or agent of the order itself. That was where you drew the line, at least until the Supreme Leader himself had contacted you. But this wasn’t for any personal or material gain, this was strictly for his and your pleasure and was entirely consensual. Which was perfect because if by some reason your relationship was exposed, you could at least explain it as it was, and not for what it could be misconstrued as. But you didn’t worry about that anyways, because the man was the Supreme Leader, and who would even have the gall to speak down to him to begin with? 

He had control over most of the galaxy, and in the privacy of his rooms, he let you have power over him.

You finished dressing and fixing your hair, and you walked out back into his room, your jacket hanging from your arm. He wasn’t to be found where you left him, and you exited the bedroom back into the hallway, and spotted another door open. You peeked your head inside, noticing it was a room with a long holotable and several chairs around it. It was almost like a private conference room, but had elements of a dining room as well. Ren was seated at the head of the table, reviewing some documents being projected from the table. He noticed you, and waved you over to a seat next to him. You walked over and rested your jacket on the back of the chair next to you, and took your place next to him.

He was frowning slightly at whatever was in front of him. 

“Did you have any business you actually wanted to discuss, or was your summons strictly personal?”, you inquired. You wouldn’t be surprised if he actually had some matters regarding your missions he wanted to discuss. Even before your arrangement had been made, you’d had a few direct interactions with him due to the mission content being so highly sensitive. 

His frown deepened slightly as he pulled his attention away from whatever was concerning him in the document. “Yes, it wasn't brought to my attention until just now. It’s regarding some of the details you included in your debriefing. You mentioned hearing someone spreading rumors about a Jedi outpost being uncovered on Felucia? Were you able to uncover any more information regarding the validity of this claim?”

You thought back to your mission to try and recall if you had heard anything else. The objective wasn’t regarding this particular piece of information, but you had figured it might have interested Ren, which was why you included it. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to pursue it much further than just the rumor itself. You were extremely close to closing in on your target when the rumor popped up. 

“Unfortunately not, Supreme Leader. I was unable to retrieve conclusive evidence to support this. I overheard it in the cantina I was observing, but my target drew me away from pursuing it any further”, you answered dejectedly.

“Hmm, a pity. But I feel we might need to mark that as a possible future objective. And soon.”, he remarked. 

A ringing noise interrupted your discussion. A hologram of a protocol droid with a cart appeared from the table. “Supreme Leader, I have brought the meals you requested.”, you heard him state with a tinny voice. Ren pressed a button that opened the entrance to the droid. You heard the metallic footsteps indicating its arrival to the room in which you both were seated. You could smell the food and instantly your mouth began to water. You hadn’t realised how hungry you actually were until now. Had Ren known you hadn’t eaten anything since earlier that day? It didn’t seem entirely likely, but the thought still stuck in your mind as the droid placed a covered plate and cutlery in front of you. After the droid had set Ren’s meal and utensils in front of him as well, it asked if you needed anything further. 

“No, that will be all,” Ren replied without looking at the droid. It bowed and then pushed the cart out as it excused itself from the room. You took the cover off your plate and nearly groaned at the exquisite scents that wafted from the food. If this was another perk of your involved relationship with the Supreme Leader, you might not be able to go back to eating from the mess hall ever again. 

He stood up from his place and walked over to a large black cabinet and opened one of its doors. “Would you like anything to drink along with your meal agent (y/surname)?”, he said with his back to you. 

“Water, if you could, thank you.”

You heard him pour some liquid into a couple of glasses. He turned back to you and placed a glass with sparkling water in front of you and one next to his place setting, as well as a carafe of more water between you. 

Stars, had he really managed to carry two glasses in one hand? He really was too large, in more ways than one.

You took a sip and then a deeper gulp as your thirst hit you with full force.

Ren looked at you and smirked a bit. “Yeah, me too. And also, I believe that’s my line.”

You gave him a look of confusion. 

“The ‘thank you’. Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

“Ah. Yes.” Your face turned mischievous. “You’re quite welcome, my dear Ren. You caught me off guard there. But yes, thanks are certainly welcome by me.”

His smirk changed into a small smile. He began cutting into his food, and you took that as a cue to begin your meal as well. You ate in silence for a short while, and he poured you more water when he noticed you’d finished your glass quickly. 

After you both had finished, he took your plates and cutlery out of the room, probably for some droid to retrieve. He came back and stood at the doorway and began to stare at you.

You looked at him up and down and smiled questioningly. 

“Is there something you want to ask, Supreme Leader?”

His eyes darkened a bit. “If it’s not too much trouble Ma’am, I wanted to ask if I could have dessert.”

You felt your thighs squeeze and rub together as you felt yourself quickly grow warm.

“Ohhhh, I didn’t realize you were so  _ needy _ , my dear. Hmmmm, I suppose I could indulge your sweet tooth.” You stood and walked to where he was at the other end of the table. You hopped up and sat on the edge of the table and raised one of your legs towards him. You looked up at him from beneath your lashes. 

You said in a quiet and demanding voice, “I want you to take my boots off for me, not too quickly though. I want to enjoy the show.” 

His eyes widened. He moved in front of you and got onto his knees. Without looking away from your eyes, pulled your boots off, one at a time with the utmost care and respect. He placed them side by side next to the table. He looked at you expectantly. 

“My socks next.” He licked his lips and looked down at your covered feet. He rolled one down to your ankle as he held your foot like it was one of the most fragile things in the galaxy. He pulled it entirely off your foot, and went to press his mouth against your instep. You used your other foot to press against his chest. 

“Did I hear you ask if you could do that?”

“Ma’am, may I please?”, he whispered in a low voice.

“Mmmmmm, I suppose, but take my other sock off first.”

He gently removed the other sock, and kissed it softly. He took it a step further when he pressed his knuckles into the arch of your foot and drug them up to your toes. 

You gasped at the pleasure of this surprise massage. 

“ _ Oh stars, _ so eager to please, aren’t we. Such a good boy.”, you purred.

He continued to massage your foot, and then moved to the next one. While completely unexpected, you couldn’t bear to stop him from his worship of your feet. He held your foot up and dragged the tip of his tongue up the length of your foot, heel to toes. You shivered and felt yourself grow wet.

“I bet no one would ever begin to guess that the hardest man in the galaxy to please would be so eager to do the pleasing in the bedroom.” 

You pulled your feet out of his grasp, and smiled devilishly. “We can pursue that further at another time.” You placed your forefinger under his chin and pressed up to make him stand. He rose at the silent command.

“Now my shirt and trousers, and then I want you to wait until further instructions before you can touch me again”, you breathed at him, your heart beginning to beat quickly. 

Raising your arms as he pulled your shirt off your torso, he placed it on the chair next to you. He took such care of your clothes, which you appreciated greatly. Wouldn’t want to walk out of his quarters with too many creases. That might draw a little too much attention.

He moved to unbutton your trousers, and you laid against the top of the table to grant him easier access. You felt his fingertips brush your hips lightly as he dragged them down your legs. He placed them with your shirt. You knew he was exercising quite a bit of control to not immediately take you there on the spot. You could see the front of his trousers had begun to tent as his arousal grew more apparent.

He took a step away from where you laid on the table. You propped yourself on your elbows and looked at him with a lazy smile and half open eyes.

“Oh Ren, you really are impressing me. You are absolutely excelling in my lesson in patience and discipline.” You dragged your fingertips along your neck and chest while he watched them hungrily. “I wasn’t sure how hard it would be to crack you, but you’re quite the willing student.”

You let your hand drop to your crotch, rubbing yourself through the lush fabric of the velvet panties. Your smile widened as you saw his eyes grow even darker, turning almost black with desire, and you saw him breathing so heavily through his nostrils. He clenched his hands at his side, and bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Remember, all good things to those who wait.” You settled yourself against the table as you slipped your hand under the panties and you began to play with yourself. Your other hand reached up to your breast and you played with your nipple. You closed your eyes and put on a good show for him. You moaned softly and pulled your legs up onto the table, knees towards the ceiling and feet planted on the tabletop. You spread them even further to give him an even better view of your fingering yourself. 

He was immediately affected. You heard him panting harder and you took a quick peek to see his reaction. Surprisingly, he still had his hands at his sides. Lesser men in his position would have been touching themselves while watching you pleasure yourself. 

He was smarter than you think most people gave him credit for. He was powerful and quick to react out of pure emotion, especially in battle, but under that violent exterior, you began to see that he was intelligent and calculating. Maybe not as much as Hux, but he wasn’t a total brute to not learn from his mistakes and adjust his behavior as needed.

You propped yourself back onto one elbow, and went to stick your dripping finger into your mouth. His gaze followed your hand hungrily. You stopped before you opened your mouth. You smiled.

“Would my dear Ren like to have the honors?” You held your hand out towards him. He rushed forward and stopped. 

“With your permission, yes, please.” 

_ Oh you smart man. _

You smiled. “ _ Good boy.  _ You may.”

He grasped your wrist lightly, and proceeded to suckle each of your fingers, cleaning them of any residue of the mess you had made with them. You furrowed your brow and panted as he finished with your fingers and moved to your palm. As he finished, he looked at you, waiting patiently for your next command.

“On your knees.” Obediently, he dropped to his knees and licked his lips hungrily as he took in the view. He watched as you hooked your thumbs on the waistband of your underwear and you teasingly shimmied them down to your ankles. You hooked the panties with your toe and held them up above his head, lowering them towards his face. You dropped them onto his lap with a self satisfied grin. You were turning him into a trembling mess with your teasing. 

“Are you ready for your treat, Ren?” He nodded briskly. “Go ahead then.”

He stuck his face towards your cunt, and you felt his warm breath hit you. He placed his hands on your hips to get a good grip on you as he pressed his mouth to your aching cunt. HIs tongue pushed into your folds and found your clit immediately. As he began circling it with his tongue, he hummed, the vibration making you drip even more. You feel your cunt start to throb at this ecstasy-inducing assault. 

_ Fucking hells he eats likes he’s starved for it. _

He slides his hand down your thigh and moves it to where he’s working you so thoroughly with his mouth. You feel him insert a finger and start pumping it into you. Your head falls back as you moan loudly, cursing and thanking the gods silently for this mind numbing pleasure. Your eyes roll back into your head and you laugh between your panting. You somehow summoned the strength to look down at him and you found him staring intently at you. You almost cum from that alone. 

“ _ Gods Kylo, you’re doing so good. Mmmmm, yes-  _ **_jUST LIKE THAT. RIGHT THERE, FUCK! YOU’RE DOING SO WELL. UGHHHH_ ** _.”  _

You began to see white spots in your vision, and you knew you were about to fall. You grabbed him by those silky black locks and pulled hard as he worked you into oblivion. Your back arched off the table as you screamed through your orgasm. His mouth never stilled, licking and sucking your sweet cunt for every last drop. You fell flat again and you gasped, struggling to find your breath again. Your vocal cords were strained from your scream. 

You heard Ren sit down on the floor heavily. Gathering yourself, you sit up and see him also panting, and rubbing his jaw. And then you notice, he managed to cum without even touching himself. His seed sitting on the floor in spurted puddles. Your eyes widened.

_ I think we found another kink in him. Someone’s got a praise kink. _

You smiled down at him. You put your hand on the side of his head and caress his face.

“Did you enjoy your dessert Supreme Leader?”

He looked you in the eyes for the upteenth time that night, pupils still blown wide.

“Yes Ma’am. Thank you. I loved it.” 

He smiled. 

Your heart almost stopped. This… this could be dangerous. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I would like to thank my wonderful friends of The Thirt Order. I wouldn't have ever imagined I'd write this AND upload anywhere public without their wonderful support and feedback. As always, this is for you gorgeous ladies.


	4. Mission Briefings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get summoned to a briefing with Hux and Kylo, and as usual they're at each other's throats. But one obviously has the advantage when it comes to throats. And you treat the Supreme Leader for being a quick learned.
> 
> Oh look! Exposition and introduction to more characters and plot! Hux shows up, Knights of Ren are mentioned and will be entering the scene very shortly.
> 
> Just a warning! There is rimming in this, so if you're not a fan, it starts at the paragraph that starts with: "He grunted and hummed into you,..." and before the paragraph that starts with: "At this point you were so ready to come,...
> 
> Enjoy!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read Control thus far and left kudos!! I appreciate the support more than you know! I also know some people like reading on wattpad as well, so I will include the link in the post chapter notes for those who might want that as well. Though I suppose you probably prefer Ao3 if you're reading it here. But you never know!

You were lounging on a couch in your room, reviewing some some new mission intel, when your commlink went off, indicating an incoming call. You grabbed it from your bed, and accepted the call.

“Agent (Y/Surname)”, you answered.

“Agent (Y/Surname), your presence is requested by the Supreme Leader and General Hux in conference room 15. Please report to your mission briefing immediately”, your supervisor informed you in a clipped tone.

“Understood, thank you sir.”

You changed into your uniform in record time, pulling on your boots with haste. You shoved your datapad and commlink into your pockets. You exited your room and headed to your destination with a swiftness that turned peoples’ heads as you passed them. You almost slid on the polished floors of the corridor as you made a quick tuck turn in the final hallway leading to your destination. You strode up to the door and pressed a button on the control panel to signal your arrival. You heard some muffled voices inside that seemed to be arguing quickly hush at the noise. The door opened and you heard the nasally voice of Hux call out to you. 

“Enter.”

You walked in and stood at attention at the end of the conference table. You took in the scene before you. Hux was seated on one side on the far end of the table, and Ren standing away from the table, looking out a large port window into the galaxy. Very similar to how you found him in his room the second time you had been to his quarters. You suppressed a grin as you recalled the events that night. 

It had been about a month since then and you’d had a couple of “meetings” since then, your schedules not having had many times to overlap. He’d grown much accustomed to this new dynamic between the two of you, proving to be quite good at behaving, though he acted out every so often, but only because he thoroughly enjoyed the rough discipline that came as a result. 

You snapped your attention back to the present so as to prevent yourself from annoying General Hux. He was easily irritated, and it seemed he was already pissed off enough.

“You requested to see me, sirs?” 

Hux gave you an appraising look. “Agent, please take a seat. We were just discussing the Supreme Leader’s request for a new mission.”

You took a seat on the side opposite Hux and clasped your hands together on the table.

“I see. What role do you need me to play for this mission?”, you asked.

“Before we even bother to discuss the logistics of this possible mission, I have been trying to understand why this mission is necessary in the first place.” He looked at Ren with narrowed eyes. 

_ Ah so they were arguing. Hux doesn’t agree with Ren’s plans, as usual. I’m surprised Ren hasn’t tossed him out of an air lock yet for his very public and vocal insubordination. _

“Careful Hux, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Just because this mission would involve one of your agents doesn’t mean you get to question its validity.” Ren turned around to give Hux a look of derision, almost matching the hate in Hux’s pinched face.

Hux’s lip curled in a sneer, he spat back, “Don’t you have your knights for these petty missions? Have them go play to get this information, this jedi outpost isn’t the concern of First Order, not when we should be using our intelligence officers like (Y/Surname) here to gather intel on our enemies, not looking for Jedi artifacts that get us nothing useful besides pretty toys for you to colle--”, Hux’s tirade was cut short suddenly, his hands flying to his throat. He sputtered and coughed as his face turned crimson. 

Your eyes shot to Ren. His hand was outstretched with fingers gripping the air in front of him. His face was contorted into a look of cold rage. 

“I told you not to question me and the mission. This is a matter that will depend on how delicately it is handled. I trust my knights, but they are not known for the gentleness of how they rip the information they seek from their targets. If I know Organa, she will be interested in this outpost just as much as I am. Therefore, we will be beating our enemies to valuable information and resources that might assist them more than it would us. And rather than alert them to our interest, I would like to keep this plan a secret away from them for as long as possible. Understood, General?”

Hux’s face was almost a deep purple. He nodded quickly and managed to grate out, “Yes, Supreme Leader.” He dropped into his chair as Ren released him from the Force hold he had on him. He rubbed his throat and took a few steadying breaths as he tried to regain his composure. You looked at your hands as you attempted to look anywhere but at Hux. You almost felt pity for the man. He was trying to do his best to maintain a solid front against the rebels and wipe them out once and for all, but undermining the Supreme Leader in front of officers and personnel was not going to do him any favors in the long run. 

You looked at Ren and asked, “So you need me to gather more intel on the outpost we discussed? Has something come up that has pushed this to the forefront of importance?” You recalled his questions regarding the mission where you first learned of these rumors. 

“Yes, (y/surname). Another agent on mission overheard these rumors. This time being discussed by a known resistance sympathizer. And also the possibility of a holocron holding highly valuable information being locked inside.”

Your eyebrows shot up. You had heard about holocrons. Devices that had been used in the days of the Jedi temple during the days of the old Republic. Both Jedi and Sith had used them alike to record and store sensitive information pertaining to many different subjects. They were extremely valuable, being sold on black markets across the galaxy, highly prized and sought after by collectors. But beyond being collectors’ items, they weren’t exactly useful unless you or someone you trusted could use the Force to open them in the first place. So often they sat on desks and glass cases as decorations, or trunks where they were left to rot.

You looked at Hux, he sat there contemplating this information. Had Ren not informed him of these particulars, or did he just not care to learn more about why Ren was pushing this mission as a high priority? Hux looked up at you, assessing your reaction to these details. 

“Agent. I will leave the decision to you, does this mission seem to be one that you would find yourself as an asset to? Do not feel obligated to say yes on my account.” He looked at Ren out of the corner of his eye, but Ren didn’t notice, he was too busy looking at you and waiting for your answer.

You took a moment to consider the decision. “I believe the mission has merit, and I believe I would be most suitable for it. I have some ideas on how to proceed, if the Supreme Leader would like to discuss it’s details and logistics with me.” 

Hux sat back in his seat, obviously dissatisfied with your taking the mission. He would love for someone else besides himself to deny Ren any gratification. He stood up and straightened his uniform. He went over to a stand where his coat hung, and he pulled it on. 

“I will leave you to it then. Agent, Supreme Leader.” He nodded at the two of you and took his leave. 

You watched as Ren walked over to the control panel, and locked the door. He then pressed another button and told the troopers outside the door to not let anyone disturb you.

He walked back over towards you and took the seat that Hux had vacated. You sat there and looked at each other for a moment. He inhaled through his nose and pressed a button on the holotable between the two of you. Various pictures and reports popped up. Pictures of various people were the first things to catch your attention. Names and details indicating their possible locations and relationship to the resistance were displayed next to them. 

“These are possible targets that we will need to locate and pursue to try and extract the intel we require. Do any of them look familiar to you from your mission where you overheard about the outpost?” He looked at you intently.

Your eyes flew between each profile until it landed on one that caught your attention. You pointed to the picture of a green Rodian. 

“Him, he was sitting at the table with the man who was speaking of the outpost.” You looked at his name. “Arrus Kreek. He seemed to be associated with our gossiper.”

Ren highlighted the profile, marking it as important for the mission details.

“Anyone else?”, he questioned. 

“No, just him.” You sat back in your chair. “Are these rumors our only leads on where to find the outpost? Or is there more information you didn’t deign to impart on us while Hux was here?”

“That is all we have to start on its location, but there is another detail I might have mentioned to leave out. There have been whispers about some resurgence of dark side force wielders. I’m not sure how much credence I actually l give these. My knights and I haven’t felt anything in the Force ourselves, but I’m still taking note of it, and I want you to as well. In case anything comes up in the future, so we’re aware.”

“Understood Supreme Leader.”

“Now onto the matter of how I would like to proceed with this mission. I will be leading this mission, and my knights will be accompanying us as well.”

You were slightly taken aback. You had worked on a team before, and you didn’t have problems with that. But you knew your fellow agents well enough to coordinate your efforts without stepping on each other’s toes. And Ren said he was leading it? You weren’t very sure he was the incognito type. But then, you realized, that’s why he had requested you. He and the knights would be the muscle, but you were the stealth. 

Plus, you had some control over him, and you would make sure your input would  _ not  _ be ignored, lest you needed to remind him in private. Not that he would likely complain about that.

“...Understood. Who and where would we like to start? That list wasn’t very short, which means we could have a lot of ground to cover depending on how quickly we find an actual lead.”, you replied cautiously. 

“We’re leaving in three hours. I hope that is enough time to prepare?”

“I can be ready in one….. I don’t suppose you could think of something we could with the other two?”, you replied with a feline’s smile. 

He visibly straightened. He was so easy to affect. You watched as his eyes darkened as he began to think about your implication. He nodded wordlessy.

“Good. Take a step back for me Ren.”

You got up from your seat and removed your boots. He took a step back and watched as you pulled your trousers off as well and unbuttoned your uniform jacket and shirt. You placed the jacket on the table next to you, but kept the open shirt on. He swallowed thickly. You smiled again, eager to see his reaction. You climbed onto the table, and rested on your hands and knees, and looked back at him. He stood ramrod straight, looking at your ass up in the air. You were wearing a matching black lacy lingerie set that hardly covered anything. Thankfully your jacket and trousers were thick enough that no one would have every guess how thin your underwear actually were. The bra and thong were essentially just scraps of lace worn for decoration rather than serve any actual purpose.

“Supreme Leader?” He shook himself from wherever his mind had wandered as he took in the sight of you in such a vulnerable position in barely anything, save the underwear and your shirt.

“Yes, Ma’am. What is your order?”, he asked breathlessly. 

“Mmmm so respectful today. I think I’ll indulge you a little today. But you  _ must  _ continue to behave and listen to  _ every word _ I tell you, or we will stop immediately, and I will walk out of here to pack and prepare for the mission. Do you understand?, you asked sweetly.

He nodded again. “Yes, Ma’am, I understand. At your command.”

You hummed again. “I want you to come over here and I want you to play with my pussy. Gloves stay on. You can feel me with bare fingers after you earn it. You may, however, take your cock out and pleasure yourself as well. But the focus must be on me. You are not allowed to cum until I say so. Now, come here.”

You watched him approach you while he unzipped his trousers and pulled his half hard cock out. He placed his gloved hand on your ass, and gave it a light squeeze. You felt your skin electrify at his touch. Tracing his fingers down your ass to your cunt, he rubbed your lips through the light cloth with two fingers and used his thumb to play with your clit. Your hips responded of their own accord and pushed towards him, seeking to deepen the pressure he applied. He then pushed the thong to the side and continued the stimulation of your clit. He pressed one of his thick fingers into you, your wetness already making action nearly effortless. He began pumping into your hole, quickly adding another finger, stretching you with a slight burning that added another dimension to the pleasure. 

You bit your lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape your throat. Ren might have told the troopers outside to keep anyone from coming in, but that didn’t stop them, or any passerbys, from hearing the noises coming from within the room you were currently getting finger fucked in. You heard Ren behind you trying to also keep himself from vocalizing his arousal. You looked down under your body and between your legs to see him also pleasuring himself. He was practically dripping from all the pre-come that leaked from his tip. His gloves must have been slick from both of your fluids. It made your heart race a bit faster. 

“Ren,  _ ah fuck-,  _ that’s amazing, but now I want you to stop touching yourself, and I want you to eat me out.” He inhaled quickly, but he dropped his hand from his cock, and instead bent forward for easy access to you. He withdrew his fingers and pulled your thong down to your knees. You soon felt his tongue replace where his fingers had been massaging the inside of your cunt. Your back arched with the new source of pleasure. His hands wrapped around your thighs, not tightly enough to bruise, but enough to make sure you didn’t involuntarily jerk out of his reach. You might be able to control others without problem, but you sometimes lost control of your own reactions when the pleasure numbed your mind enough. “ _ GODS YESSSS _ ”, you hissed through your teeth, your hips canting slightly against his face. You felt his nose press against your asshole as he stuck his tongue further into your cunt.  _ Oh fuuuck. _ The stimulation of the sensitive area made you clench tightly. 

He grunted and hummed into you, the reverberations igniting your lust further. You felt one one hand leave your thigh, and for a moment you thought he was going to touch himself out of desperation. And then you felt him rub your clit with a gloved finger, and you almost cried out from the double assault. His tongue moved up to your ashole, and you nearly lost it. You hadn’t ever suggested that he eat your ass before, but apparently he had sensed how the feeling of his nose pressing into it that tiny bit made you nearly lose your mind. 

The strong muscle of his tongue circled around you, and then taking his mouth away for a moment, asked, “May I please remove my gloves now, Ma’am?” 

You had all but forgotten your promise. In an effort to get his mouth back on you, you hissed a yes. You felt him kiss your pussy as he quickly shedded and discard the gloves. He moved his mouth’s focus back onto your anus and then his bare fingers were inside your cunt again. At this point, he had you throbbing and clenching around him mindlessly. He worked his tongue up and down your ass, meanwhile his fingers found your g-spot and you began to tremble uncontrollably. He was making you unravel in ways no one else ever had. And with only his mouth and fingers. You wondered if it was because of his being so attuned to the Force that he could sense just how to touch you in a way that made your atoms seem to sing at the pleasure he inflicted on you.

At this point you were so ready to come, and hard, but you realized you were aching and in need of something more filling. And he had done such an incredible job already of pleasuring you so thoroughly while denying him the ability to relieve his own aching cock. You threw your head over your shoulder, panting hard. 

_ “Ren.” _

His eyes whipped to your face. 

“I want you inside me.  _ Now. _ ”

He straightened himself and quickly pulled the thong off of your legs entirely, and then you felt yourself being quickly filled by him, pushing himself into you until he was fully sheathed. Thankfully, the table being the ideal height for him to fuck you from behind. You brought your fist to your mouth and bit down as you felt him stretch and fill you. You wouldn’t ever get used to that feeling. 

He panted as he started to thrust into you in an unsteady rhythm. He must have been closer to cumming than you thought. You felt him grab your hips to steady you as he pounded you. You pushed your torso off the table and spread your legs so your back was arched against his broad torso. His hands slid up to hold you by the waist. You snaked one hand into his hair and yanked his head down to your neck, while the other hand pulled one of his hands from your waist to your breast. He immediately began to kiss and nip at your neck, soothing the small bites with swipes from his tongue, and his warm breath warming your already hot neck and shoulders. Meanwhile, he kneaded and massaged your breast, pinching the nipple through the lace of the bra, and rolling it roughly. You groaned at the sensation, and reached the hand that wasn’t tangled in his hair around to his ass and grabbed hard, feeling his hips thrusting powerfully into yours. 

The hand that had been on your waist found its way down to your clit and rubbed it with a sense of urgency. He meant to make you come first, just like he promised. You felt drool pool in your mouth and begin to slide out and down a corner of your mouth. Your body was buzzing from being so totally pleasured, but still managed to keep yourself from crying out like you desperately wanted to. The realization that there was a very real danger of being heard made you lose the last remaining grip you had on yourself, and you felt a scream bubble up your throat. Suddenly, you felt a large hand cover your mouth and nose, muffling any noise that might have escaped you in your climax. He continued to pump into you as you convulsed and rode out your orgasm. 

Then Ren himself went stiff as he found his own release. He bit into your shoulder suddenly to stop himself from making the same mistake, his voice reverberating into your flesh. You felt hot tears leak from your eyes from the blunt pain of his teeth on you. You both fell forward, his arm circled around your waist, his other arm holding him from crushing you into the table top. You placed your own hands on the table to support yourself. He pulled out of you, breathing heavily, and quickly searched for some tissues to clean up the mess he made inside of you. As he gently wiped away the cum that dribbled out of you, he placed a hand on your ass and affectionately squeezed. 

You turned around and pulled his hand by one of his fingers and flung it away. He looked at you, confused. You glared daggers at him as you slid down off the table. You quickly slapped a hand across that pretty face of his with a satisfying smacking noise. You wanted to make sure it left a mark. He looked down at you, oblivious to what had pissed you off.

“ _ When the FUCK did I tell you you could bite me like that?? _ ”, you hissed at him. His eyes widened in realization.

“My apologies, I didn’t even think abo-”

You interrupted, “Exactly! You didn’t think, you just acted. And that’s why I’m disciplining you. Listening to your instinct may be necessary in battle, but in the bedroom? I’m in control, and my word is  _ law. _ ” You were seething. It might have been unnecessary to get so upset over something so trivial, but you needed him to understand that he was only to do what you asked. You needed to have the control, so that you could protect yourself from being hurt. A memory flashed in your mind, and you immediately buried it. You wanted to forget it, but it always managed to come back unbidden when you really didn’t need that reminder.

He dropped his eyes. “Again, I apologize. I didn’t mean to disobey or harm you in any way Ma’am.”

You huffed as you tried to release the tension you had accumulated in your jaw. 

“I accept your apology.  _ Thankfully _ , the mark is in a place easily concealed. Next time you feel the need to cover your scream, just avoiding biting me,  _ UNLESS I tell you to _ .”

He almost perked up when he realized you weren't taking biting off the table. You rolled your eyes and turned away from him to hide your smile. You retrieved the discarded thong and slipped it back on. You heard him behind you, zipping his trousers back up and going to the side of the table where your clothes were. He handed you your own trousers and then once you had them on, helped you slip your jacket back on. He was trying to get back into your good graces you supposed. You crooked your finger down in a come here motion. He bent slightly to get closer to eye level with him. 

You gripped his chin in your fingers tightly, he winced slightly. 

You looked him in the eyes for a quiet moment, almost as if you could see what was going on in that head of his. 

“Besides our little mishap at the end there, you did very well. I’ll let it slide this time, but the next time something like that happens, I will put our 'meetings' on hold until I decide you’ve been punished long enough. And you will be forbidden from touching yourself in that time. I won’t have you cumming without my express permission. Also, we're to keep things professional on this mission, understood?”

He nodded in your grasp.

“Good.” You checked your datapad for the time. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Behave yourself”, you said with a smirk. 

You headed to the door, and unlocked it. You strode out and the troopers stationed outside stood at attention, thinking you were the Supreme Leader. They relaxed when they realized it was you. What they didn’t see was that you had left him behind in the room, staring after you, wondering how he’d survive this mission without touching you while you were together. 

He would find a way.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.wattpad.com/story/232369068-control
> 
> Another chapter, another shout out to my ladies who are some of the most supportive and incredible people I've had the opportunity to make friends with over our shared love of Adam/Kylo|Ben/Star Wars. I love our group chats so much and you make me smile so much during the day. I would never have gotten this far without you. <3


	5. The Upper Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make your way to the ship you'll be in for your mission. You meet some of the knights, and some big realizations hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but two chapter releases in one day! No smut in this chapter, but a good scene is coming in the next one. 
> 
> I ended up splitting this chapter into two because I felt it flowed much better. Hope I'm right!

You headed to the hangar as instructed by a message from your supervisor. You wore an oversized grey sweater with some black slacks, and a pair of black leather ankle boots. Your outfit and ponytail screamed casual, but the blaster holstered on your hip under the sweater, and the many different weapons hidden in your large travel bag loaded with clothes for almost any situation said otherwise. You shifted the straps of the bag higher on your shoulder as the weight kept dragging it down. You also had a case full of your “tools” in your other hand, just in case a situation called for it. 

You’d had a list of essentials memorized for the past few years you had worked with Order. If anything, you were efficient, with your job, and with your prep. You knew you had to be prepared to leave immediately after debriefing post one mission to depart for another one at times, if the need arose. One time you were actually on your way back to the Steadfast when a transmission relayed the order to turn away from the starship to go to another planet nearby to pull a quick extraction. You hadn’t even had time to change or shower. And then you’d had to do two debrief reports, which took you  _ hours. _ You’d been exhausted and cranky from the missions themselves, and then adding double the paperwork? Your supervisor didn’t even bother asking you any follow up questions after you’d finished as you trudged out the door to head to your room. The look on your face must have convinced him otherwise.

You walked into the massive hangar and noticed that there wasn’t a single TIE to be found inside. Instead it housed a massive transport ship. Though it looked like it had been heavily modified. It looked like no other ship you’d ever seen. You strode up to it and around it, getting a better idea of what mods had been done to it. You noted the engines had been part of the alterations, though you weren’t completely sure how. The laser turrets gave away why it looked so odd. It had been a prison transport. But now, it was something different. Still transport obviously, but you doubted it was being used for its original purpose. 

You heard heavy footsteps approaching you. You whipped around expecting Stormtroopers coming to ask you what you were doing in what was obviously a private hangar, but instead you came face to face with two of the infamous Knights of Ren. Your mouth dropped open as you took in their intimidating appearances. You weren’t necessarily the most easily intimidated, but you’d heard the stories of who and where they’d come from before Kylo had become their master. They had been agents of chaos, devotees to the Dark Side, who used the Force to murder and pillage as they saw fit, led by a man simply known as Ren. They were incredibly well trained in the art of battle and lived for violence. When Kylo became their new master, he brought them to heel, and gave them a little more structure and order. Not to say they weren’t still some of the most fearsome warriors in the galaxy, but that only proved how powerful Kylo was. That he was able to control them and use them as the enforcers of his will outside of First Order business showed that he truly was the heir to the Dark Side. 

You felt a thrill run down your spine as the thought entered your mind.

You stood your ground as they stood theirs, their helmets obscuring any emotion or cue to what they might be thinking. You heard a modulated voice ask, “You’re the agent Master Ren told us would be assisting on the mission?” You pinpointed the voice to be coming from the one carrying the sniper rifle and wearing a mask with peripheral blocking sides.

You cleared your throat and spoke with what you hoped was a confident voice, “Yes. I’m agent (y/sn). Is this the ship we’re taking? Not to be rude, but this… this doesn’t seem built for stealth, brute force and speed, yes. And I have a sneaking suspicion that with it being yours, it's probably very recognizable.”

The other one spoke up this time. 

“You’re right, the Night Buzzard is associated with us. But those who have seen her are either part of the Order and its affiliates, or they are targets, who have been imprisoned or executed. People rarely see her in all her glory. Plus, it’s our home. All tools and supplies we’ll need are onboard. Now, Master Ren is already on board. If you would please follow us, we need to depart. And quickly.”

You walked quickly behind them to keep up with their long strides. The second one was much more polite, you noted. He would likely be one of the better ones to communicate with. You took in the details of his helmet and weapon as well. You wanted to be able to distinguish them once you learned their names, and the most obvious differences came with the helmets and weapons.

His helmet, like the rest of the knights, was mostly black, but his had a silver face mask that looked almost like a grid. His weapon was a scythe with a saw tooth shape. You imagined it made it much easier to draw opponents to yourself by their weapon with it. It was definitely a unique choice for a close combat weapon. But then again, all the Knights were unique, so it only made sense that their weapons were too. 

As you all made your way to the ramp leading up into the ship, The one with the site turned his helmet back towards you, and said, “Our master is waiting in the common area for you. He will take you to your quarters on board.”

You nodded at him in acknowledgment, and you headed inside. You watched them walk down a corridor away from you and you made your way to where they had directed you. As you entered through the doorway, you came upon Ren sitting ramrod straight on a couch in front of a holotable. This was becoming a regular scenario for you to find him in. Not that it was unexpected, he was the leader of a giant military organization that controlled a large portion of the galaxy. Still, to see him engaged in such bureaucratic position so often was something you weren’t sure you could ever get used to seeing. 

You’d never seen him in battle, and you were excited at the possibility of seeing him fight on this mission. While physical confrontations were usually avoided on stealth missions like this, there was always the chance it could occur if something went south. You were trained how to fight in order to defend yourself in situations, so you always manage to keep a couple of small vibroblades hidden on your person, but you tried to keep a blaster on you as well, if at least to deter anyone from trying anything to begin with. You’d also been trained how to incapacitate someone with your body if you ever found yourself in a situation where weapons were unavailable. 

Meanwhile you thought about how Ren must have looked while fighting with that incredible lightsaber. You’d always been fascinated by the weapons of the Sith and the Jedi. You’d heard rumors about how Sith bled kyber crystals to bend them to their will, thus changing the color and corrupting its connection to the Force. You knew that Kylo’s had been damaged, which explained the blade’s lack of stability and the need for the lateral vents that gave it the cross guard appearance. You hadn’t yet broached the subject with him, but you desperately wanted to ask for a chance to examine the blade and get a closer look at it. But that chance would come eventually, for now, you set your luggage down on the floor next to the couch and sat adjacent to him. 

He glanced at you, and turned his attention back to the hologram. You frowned slightly and huffed a little. 

“Not even a greeting, Ren?”

He sighed slightly and turned off the hologram. 

“I apologize, I had to review some last minute reports that pertained to the mission.” 

“Ah, well then, you needn’t have stopped on my account.” You replied sarcastically. “If you were busy, then you should have instructed one of the Knights to take me to my room instead of volunteering yourself.”

He suppressed a snort, but you still narrowed your eyes at him. 

“(Y/SN), please. I didn’t expect it to take me that long. It would be my honor to show you to your quarters. I hope you found the hangar without much difficulty? Most people have some trouble as it’s rarely accessed by anyone besides my men and myself.” He stood up, waiting patiently for you. As you stood, he went to grab one of your bags for you. You grabbed his arm. 

“I appreciate the help, but to maintain a facade of our professional relationship, it would be best if the fearsome Supreme Leader didn’t carry the bag of one of his agents, don’t you think?”

He smirked a bit. “Thankfully, my Knights don’t question my actions, even if they seem out of character to others. They’re not gossiping personnel, agent. They are warriors who have pledged their unwavering loyalty to me. They serve me and enforce my will. They are not here to question my choices, like Hux.”

You raised you chin up at him, your stubbornness and independent nature fighting against his apparent kindness. After a moment, you relinquished your hold on him and shrugged. 

“Fine, if it makes you feel better. I’m guessing this is further apology for your actions earlier?”

He picked up both the bag and the case and started to walk towards the back of the ship. You followed close behind. The walk back was silent until you came upon two doors that faced each other. He faced the one on the left of you and the door opened. 

“This is your room, it has a refresher attached to it for your convenience. Also, a closet for your clothes.”

You walked past him through the doorway. You took in the space. It was larger than you were expecting. It wasn’t luxurious by any definition, but still, for being the base of operations and what you assumed to be the home of the Knights, it was… almost inviting. The sparse furniture was dark in color and devoid of any detail aside from that. The bed was large and covered in black sheets and a thick gray knit blanket. It looked cozy, but you doubted you’d be sleeping in it much if the trips planetside took too long. Still, a nice touch. You spotted two doors aside from the entrance, most likely the refresher and the closet Ren had mentioned. 

His heavy footsteps signaled his entrance into the suite.

“This is not what I was expecting. It’s a lot more… spacious. And furnished.”

He walked over to the bed and placed your belongings on top of it. He turned around and leaned against the footboard. 

“You were expecting a smaller ship.”

You sucked on your lower lip as you assessed him. 

“Yes. This ship wasn’t built for stealth. I can tell it used to be a prison transport. And your men turned it into a giant weapon. For pursuing their targets. And as a den for whatever sort of trouble they bring on board.”

“As I said, they have been brought to heel. They reside in it and use it for missions that aren’t for espionage. But it will suit our needs. We can still find our way onto the planets we’ll be visiting without being noticed. And there are speeders on board so we won’t have to travel on foot if we can’t land the ship in close proximity.”

You took in this information while you found a seat in a plush chair against a table. 

He spoke again. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“Yes… but it’s not pertaining to the mission. This room, this seems like it’s almost been lived in. What did you do, kick one of them out of their rooms?” You smirked at the thought. 

He rolled his eyes, which earned him a scoff from you.

“Of course not. As you mentioned, it was a prison transport before my Knights commandeered it for their personal use. These quarters and the one across the hall used to be the commanding officers rooms. Now, they’re mine.”

You had been looking at your fingernails when he mentioned that last part. Your head whipped up.

“This is  _ YOUR  _ room?”, you exclaimed.

“Well, not the one I use on the regular, that would be the other one. This one was being used for storage mostly until today.”, he replied shortly.

“... Until today?”

“I had it furnished. That’s part of why it took three hours of prep instead of leaving almost immediately after you took the mission. Would you have preferred sharing a room with myself or one of the knights?” 

It was your turn to roll your eyes. “I mean, I wouldn’t have complained, seeing as I’m used to having to share a room with people I’m not exactly familiar with.”

He opened his mouth to retort, but you put a hand up to silence him before he could.

“But, I appreciate the gesture. It doesn’t go unnoticed. Thank you, Ren.”

He closed his mouth, satisfied with your answer.

“Though I truly am surprised you didn’t stick me in with you. I wouldn’t necessarily have complained about it.”, you said with a devilish smile as you turned around and opened one of the doors to see if it was the closet. You heard him inhale sharply at the implication. 

_ Ah, the upper hand has been taken back _ , you thought to yourself, grin still plastered on your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone who has been reading and leaving kudos! This is really turning out to be a bigger story than I could have ever envisioned, but I can't wait to dive deeper. And continue to keep writing SPICY SCENES.  
> Big thanks as usual to my girls in the Thirst Order.


	6. On the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing right where we left off last chapter. You have some big realizations, and you might be fighting feelings you didn't think you could ever have. For anyone. Especially not him of all people.
> 
> Warning! Minor bloodplay in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya! Two chapters in one day!
> 
> I should be in bed, but I needed to feed my ~rats~ on time. Also sleep is for the dead. 
> 
> I can't wait to see where we end up next chapter <3

You started unpacking your clothes and hanging them up while Ren exited your room. You heard the door close behind him, and his across the hall open and close as well. You finished with your clothes and grabbed your case. You opened it to double check you had everything on your mental checklist quickly and set it under the bed after closing it. 

You walked over to the door leading to the refresher. It opened into another large space. This seemed a little too nice for being a former prison transport officer’s room. All shining black tile, with soft cool lighting reflecting off of it. It had a large black metal circular tub, as well as a large glass steam shower with a large rain shower system head in the ceiling. You walked up to the vanity and ran your hands along its cool smooth surface. It seemed to be carved from polished obsidian, with not only one, but two sinks. That when you realized there was another door on the wall opposite from the one one you entered through. 

_ Our rooms are connected,  _ you thought incredulously.

You quickly went back into your own room and closed the door before he realized you had found the refresher. How kind of him to forget that tiny little detail. He might have given you your own room, but not without having direct access to you whenever he felt the urge. You were sure he could override the control panel if he so chose, seeing as this was part of his rooms.

_ He wouldn’t dare, _ you rationalized. You had set your boundaries and made them quite clear before you had left the conference room earlier that day.  _ He wouldn’t dare risk losing his privileges with me for something like that. _ But you had to be honest with yourself. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. The very top of the chain of command. He might be your pet in the bedroom, but he was the one who had you come to his room when he wanted. And he could also crush your pretty little neck if you truly upset or angered him. He had killed people before, and would kill more in the future. Your control over him was a farce, a game, and he was the one who actually held the power. 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. You would play this dangerous game for as long as you could, and you would play it well. You would become irreplaceable in his eyes. You would make sure no one would ever be able to pull his focus off of you. You weren’t sure if he was capable of love, real love, but you would make him believe that he loved you. Whatever role he wanted you to play, you would be the best there was. For now, it seemed he wanted you to dominate him behind closed doors. In public, you maintained a professional relationship, with the small difference between you and other personnel being that he treated you with an ounce more respect than he did others. But if something changed… you would too. 

You didn’t like the idea of having to change yourself for anyone besides yourself, but this was a situation that required some careful observation and caution. And you couldn’t totally delude yourself into thinking you didn’t have  _ any _ feelings for him. You undoubtedly were attracted to him, his power, his looks, the way he carried himself. But feelings could be so messy. You’d never really had any long term relationships after you joined the First Order, because that was another thing altogether, dating fellow agents and officers walked too fine of a line that could end in disaster either way you fell. So you settled on affairs that were simple, no strings attached situations that left both parties satisfied. 

But then you broke your own rule when you received the invitation from the Supreme Leader. You jumped at the chance, your curiosity too much to suppress. But then again, who in their right mind would refuse an invitation from the most powerful man in the galaxy. You were in a difficult situation of your own making. Would curiosity kill the cat? Or would satisfaction bring it back. Only time would tell.

You sat on the bed, and pulled out your datapad to go over the details Ren had sent you before your arrival, committing the information to memory. You felt the ship vibrate a little as it prepared for take off. You stood up quickly, and headed towards the door. It opened as you got closer and you saw the Ren’s opened at the same time. You looked at each other. You swallowed thickly, your musings over your relationship still making you a little uneasy. He furrowed his brow as he noticed your uneasiness. You strode over to him quickly and pushed him into his room. 

You only managed to push him a couple feet into the room, his surprise letting you make that much progress before he stood his ground.

“What’s wrong?” 

You glared at him. “Did you forget to tell me about something? Like, oh I don’t know,  _ the fact that our rooms are connected by that ridiculously nice refresher?” _ , you snapped at him.

He narrowed his eyes at you. 

“Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t just about that?”

Your eyes widened and you grimaced. You were letting your emotions get the best of you, and he was reading them like an open book. You closed your eyes as you schooled your face into neutrality and took a steadying breath. You opened them again and looked at him.

“Take your clothes off.”, you commanded.

“What?”, he asked in mild disbelief.

“You know I don’t ask questions a second time, and I know you heard me.”

He crossed his arms and you looked at you. You clenched your jaw and mirrored his pose. 

You stood there, in a silent standoff, a battle of the wills that you weren’t entirely sure you would win.

After a couple of tense minutes, you were ready to turn around and walk out the door and forget you even bothered confronting him. But then he exhaled out his nose sharply and began to remove his tunic. You smiled like the cat who caught the canary. He continued to undress while you tugged off your boots, taking a couple inches off your height. You removed your blaster and its holster and tossed them onto a chair nearby. Ripping your sweater over your head, you stood there watching him discard his own clothes at the end of his bed and turn back to you. You were still wearing your undershirt and your slacks as you took in his bare body. He was truly a work of art, marked with scars and imperfections that only served to enhance his unreal beauty. Even when he wasn’t hard, his cock was still impressive. You were going to make him beg for his release, and you would, but at your leisure. His attitude was pissing you off and you weren’t going to let him slide. 

“Make sure we aren’t interrupted.” You commanded. He walked over to a communications panel and pressed a button. A voice crackled to life out of it. “Yes Master?”

He looked back at you, irritation leaking into his gaze, making his brown eyes appear molten. You tilted your head slightly and raised an eyebrow to express your impatience. He sighed again. 

“How long till we reach the first destination, Kuruk?” 

The voice responded, “About one standard hour and thirty minutes, sir.”

“Good. See to it that I’m uninterrupted until we approach the atmosphere if I don’t come out first.”

“Understood Master Ren.”

He turned the panel off and turned back fully to you.

You slowly stalked over to him.

“My dear Ren, what have I said about how you talk to me when we first started this relationship?” You traced patterns onto his skin as you spoke. You connected freckles together with imaginary lines with your fingertips, and softly circled his various scars that littered his torso. Too many for any one man to endure, but here he was, his experiences forever etched onto his body. Like trophies to recognize that he was still alive, despite those who had tried so desperately to snuff his raging flame out.

You walked around him as you continued your idle tracing, his skin breaking out in goosebumps at your teasing his bare, sensitive flesh. He looked at the wall in front of him, trying not to look at you. You saw him clench his jaw and his eye twitch as he tried not to respond.

You stopped and faced his chest. You stood on your tiptoes and placed your hands on his broad shoulders, pulling him down so you could put your mouth next to his ear. His hair tickled your nose and lips as you whispered into his ear, almost like a lover would, “ _ Do not, and I repeat myself, even though I TOLD you I do not repeat myself, speak down to me like I’m one of those lowly officers.” _

He looked into your eyes, emotions hidden behind those turbulent amber eyes. You gave him a sickly sweet smile, one laced with venom, and then you raked your nails down his shoulders and chest. 

He hissed through his teeth and winced at the stinging welts you left with your nails. Blood welled up in small droplets in certain spots where your nails dug deeper than in others. You took a finger and swiped it through the blood, gathering it on your fingertip. You licked it off lazily, the tang of iron coating your tongue. More droplets formed where you had rubbed off, and a wicked idea popped into your head as the blood started to collect thickly into heavier drops. You used the fluid to thinly write your name across his chest. You cleaned your finger again as you admired your work. He had watched you work while his breathing had turned heavy. He groaned at the realization of what exactly you were doing. 

His pupils blew wide and he grabbed your neck and slammed his lips against yours. You snarled against his lips, but he held you tightly. You dug your nails into his arms, struggling against him, but soon you stilled and his tongue found its way into your mouth, and you turned feral. You pushed him towards the bed and pressed him back onto it. He fell back onto it, taking your down with him. The kissing was animalistic and sloppy, all gnashing teeth and growls, spit dripping down your faces. You pushed yourself away from his face as you straddled his lap. You ripped your undershirt and bra off, and you felt his hands working on your zipper. You rolled off of him for a moment to remove the offending articles, and tossed them on the ground. You resumed your position on his lap with another snarl. 

He placed his massive hands on your hips, almost entirely encompassing the flesh there. You grabbed his wrists and flung his arms above his head.

“Those stay there, understood?”, you growled. He bared his teeth at you, but he complied.

You ground yourself on his now-throbbing cock. His head fell back against the bed as he sucked air through his teeth. You hummed and rubbed his length against your folds. Your hands braced against his stained chest. You leaned down as you continued your ministrations and began to lick away the drying blood. He moaned your name as you cleaned your work from his chest. You liked seeing your mark on him, like the one he had left on you earlier that day, the bruise already darkening quickly. But either you or he would have removed your signature from him one way or another. And this was much more satisfying than wiping it off with a washcloth.

You finished your cleaning and made your way to his neck with your mouth. You felt his cock twitch under you as you liked the length of his neck along the line of where his jugular hid beneath. You felt the adrenaline rush through your body as you realized that he knew you could easily cut his throat at this moment, with him completely under your thrall. And that gave you the rush you sought. The power you wanted was within your grasp. He trusted you with his life, and threw away his self preservation for the pleasure only you could bring him. The pleasure from these thoughts nearly brought you to the brink of your orgasm. But you weren’t done with his yet. 

You climbed off of him and grasped his hard cock, pumping him a few times with your hand. His hips twitched upwards at the pressure. You saw him look at you from beneath his hooded eyes and his panting grew uneven. You smiled serenely at him and took him into your mouth, giving the head of his dick a few preliminary licks. He stifled a loud groan at the sensation and you sucked him, hollowing your cheeks out as you bobbed your head up and down. You pulled him out your mouth with a pop and his hips lifted again, seeking the suction you had just removed. You collected some saliva and spat on his cock, and jerked him off again, while you circled the sensitive head with your tongue. 

You could feel he was close, his cock twitching and jumping, along with his hips stuttering to find enough friction to push him over the precipice he so desperately wanted. As you felt him nearly ejaculate, you removed your mouth and hand. He cried out and looked down at you, betrayal evident on his face. 

Your expression was positively feline. 

Edging was one of your favorite methods of information extraction. He hadn’t apologized for his behavior yet, and you weren’t about to let that go amiss. You weren’t mad at him anymore, but you still felt the need for revenge, and you felt like getting up to no good. He whined as you touched around his hips and close to the base of his cock in feather light touches teasing him to keep teetering on the edge of his orgams. His eyes were filled with need, and his breathing increasingly erratic. You dragged a finger up his shaft, and circled the tip lightly, the sensation pulling him into overstimulation. You licked your palm and started to jerk him off once again, and you kissed the head as his breathing turned ragged. You worked him into a frenzy, his hands balled up into the sheets near his head. His deep moans making you throb in return. 

His pants grew faster again, and once again, you stopped pleasuring him right before he found the release he was so desperate for. He grunted and raged at his being denied his orgasm. He sat up abruptly and you shoved him back down and sat on his chest. You leaned down so your eyes were in line with his. His anger became palpable, and he looked away from your gaze. 

Just to piss him off further, you dragged your tongue up along the scar that sliced up the right side of his face. You pulled his wrists up above his head again, and said, “If you’re so desperate for it, you know what you have to do.”

He looked back into your eyes. You saw the muscle below his eye twitch, indicating his irritation, and he worked his jaw.

_ “Say it.” _

A beat passes. You watch as a hundred emotions pass over him through his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. For my rude behavior, I apologize. I hope you can find the kindness to forgive me.”

You sit back on his chest as you find your satisfaction. You shudder with pleasure and lean back down and press a quick kiss to his lips. His head goes to follow your mouth, but you press him back down into his sheets again.

“Remember, those hands stay up there, okay?”

You slid yourself back down his torso to his hips, and you grasped his cock as you lowered yourself onto him. Your head fell back and a moan escaped your throat. He also groaned as the wet heat of your cunt sheathed him entirely. You were so slick and ready that it didn’t take much to start riding him, finding your momentum quickly. His hips lifted to meet yours and the pattern you fell into was perfectly synched. The slapping of your hips and ass meeting his pelvis created such crude noises that turned you so much that you started to moan subconsciously, not even realizing what was happening. Each impact of your connection hit your clit just right that you found yourself barreling to your climax quickly. Which in turn caused you to clench him so tightly that he was fast approaching his own as well.

You dug your nails into the sides of his waist as you careened over the edge into a blinding white oblivion and shouted his name, and his own voice rising to meet yours as he exploded inside of you. You were so unaware of yourself and your surroundings in your bliss, that you were surprised when you felt warm liquid dripping from your lip onto Ren’s chest. You had bitten your lip so hard that you had a slow stream of blood dripping down your chin. As he came around from his own orgasm, he realized what was happening as well and sat up while you were still sheathed around his softening dick. You had sucked your lip into your mouth to try and stop the mess from getting worse, and he rubbed the small puddle with a couple of his fingers and brought them to his mouth. He tasted your blood as you had tasted his. He grabbed your head with both hands and you went still out of mild panic. 

He pressed his lips to yours and licked you pressed lips. Your mouth opened of its own accord and he brushed his tongue along the puncture and deepened the kiss. Your eyes closed as you tasted him and you mixed together.

He pulled away after a moment and pulled you off of his lap. You sat there on his bed while he got up and grabbed a small hand towel. He handed it to you and you pressed it to the wound. It was beginning to clot already.

“Would you like me to draw you a bath?” He asked, his voice low and rough.

You nodded.

He disappeared into your joint refresher.

_ Shit. _ You were worried. You might be falling for him too.

He walked back into the room, wiping his abdomen with a wet cloth of the blood you’d accidentally spilled onto him.

“It will be a couple minutes to fill, but feel free to go in and adjust the heat to your liking.”

You walked past him, and he caught your arm gently as you passed him. You turned around, alarm flashing in your eyes. His expression caught you off guard and quelled the anxiety in your chest.

“I’m sorry. Truly.”, he murmured.

You stared at him for a moment, then nodded in understanding.

“Apology accepted. Thank you.”

He nodded back and let go of you. 

You entered the refresher and walked over to the tub. You checked the water temp and turned it a little warmer than what it was set at. You sat on the edge and removed the towel from your lip and checked to see its clotting progress. It wasn’t bleeding anymore but you knew you’d have to be careful not to knock it anytime soon, so not to open the tenuous scab that had slightly formed.

You sighed as you realized you would now have two marks on your body from your entanglement with Kylo Ren. And both from the same day. Hopefully the first target would only require reconnaissance and nothing beyond that. Otherwise you’d have to come up with some cover story on the bite mark on your shoulder and a bite-bruised lip. You’d had enough excitement for one day you thought to yourself. 

The tub finished filling and you slipped in. Exhaustion hit you like a blaster set on stun. You slipped your head under the water and let out a scream of bubbles. You were starting to fall for Kylo Ren and you didn’t know how to process this. 

Why did you do this to yourself? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my girls in The Thirst Order:
> 
> I love you all, and you keep me motivated to make the best possible fic I can write. Enjoy bb's, this is all for you.
> 
> <3
> 
> -Stevie


	7. Arkanis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot tiiiimeeee! 
> 
> Feelings are hard for you both, you meet the Knights, and you locate your first target. Also is this more angst?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just quick note! I want to let you know that from here out we will be calling Kylo in our narration, and this is just to signify our growing intimacy with him. I'm not trying to be inconsistent, just wanted to throw this out there just in case it felt weird! Also sorry it took so long, I had a bad couple of mental health days and it took me a minute to get back into the swing of things.
> 
> Also. No smut this chapter, but I'm gonna make it up to you next chapter. WOOOO!
> 
> Enjoy!!

You lay under the water of the tub with your eyes closed. You were holding your breath while letting bubbles slowly float to the surface from your nose. You were trying to clear your head when you saw the backs of your eyelids darken. Someone was above you. Your eyes whipped open and you saw the blurred silhouette of Kylo above you. Bubbles rushed faster out of your nose in a sigh of relief. You grabbed the sides of the tub and pulled yourself into a reclining position against the edge. He was on one knee next to you.

He searched your face for something while you sat there, neutral expression locked onto your face.

He placed a towel next to you and stood up. 

“We’ll be arriving in about 30 minutes. If you would like, I’ll introduce you to the knights. So you’ll know who you’ll be residing and working with on the mission.”, he informed you.

You watched him walk over to the vanity, and saw him place something into one of the two sinks. He had put his trousers back on, but was still bare chested. You looked at his reflection in the mirror as he fussed with something he had retrieved from a cabinet. The scratches you had marked on his chest weren’t bleeding anymore, but they were still red and angry looking. You smiled at that. He caught your gaze in the mirror. He gave a small smirk, and he started to rub a gel onto those scratches. Your jaw dropped.

“That better not be Bacta.”, you muttered icily.

“Of course it’s Bacta.”, he said unperturbed by your tone.

You sighed, exasperated. “You got to mark me, it’s only fair that you should have kept yours.”

He huffed a breath that might have been a laugh. “I’ll have them for a little while yet, don’t worry.”

You stood up slowly, stretching your body while your muscles were still warm from the bath. You saw Kylo watching you out of the corner of your eye. You made a show of reaching down and opening the drain, turning your hips in directions slightly so he got a better view of your ass. He covered a cough. You straightened back up, and grabbed the towel. You wrapped the large piece of soft cloth around your body and you stepped out of the draining tub. You headed to the door that led to your room and walked through as it opened.

When it closed behind you, you loosed a breath you had been holding. Your confidence rushed out with the air you exhaled. You were starting to question yourself because of these stupid feelings. You felt like a ship in uncharted territory, without an anchor to ground yourself and try to figure out where to go. You knew where you had come from, but there was no turning back now, and so many possibilities for dangers you were prepared for.

You sucked in a breath and walked over to your closet. First things first, you need to get dressed and meet the men who were to be your support on this mission.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

You felt it best to coordinate your outfit to match theirs, opting for all black clothing, and gods you were right to. You currently sat on the couch you had found Kylo on when you first boarded the ship. Standing in row in front of you, were the Knights of Ren in all their glory. Aside from one, anyways. One of the ones you had met earlier, the one with the sniper rifle, was piloting the ship through an asteroid field. He was the one Ren had spoken to before you had jumped and maimed him in his room, the one called Kuruk. He was the Night Buzzard’s pilot and sniper. It was explained that he preferred to be more solitary than the others were, which made his choice in a long range weapon make more sense. He was the backup the enemy wouldn’t know about until it was too late.

The rest stood at attention as Kylo walked down the line, giving their names and a brief description of their specialties besides them all being force sensitive. Vicrul was the first, and the other half of the pair you had met besides Kuruk. He could project fear onto his opponents before cutting them down with his scythe. He was also Kylo’s second in command. Next was Cardo, who, among an impressive amount of weapons secured someway or another on his body, touted an especially modified arm cannon that you surmised to be extremely destructive on the battlefield. Then there was Ushar. His weapon of choice was a blunt ended battle club, which made you believe that he probably preferred to torture his target, slowly and mercilessly ending them, delighting in watching the light leave their eyes. His helmet looked to be just as functional than merely decorative. It had breathing tubes and anti-ox filters, which made you question what species might be hiding under the helmet. Second to last was Trudgen, whose helmet you immediately identified as being the former helmet of a death trooper from the fallen Empire. You puzzled over its origins for a moment before your focus was drawn to the massive vibrocleaver he rested on his shoulder. You shuddered at the thought of losing a limb or even your head to the blade. Finally there was Ap’lek. His helmet appeared to be handmade from various scraps of metal and armor he had likely found and scanvenged, formed to give the appearance of a long skull. His weapon drew you intrigue more than any of the other knights’. He held an ancient Mandalorian executioner's vibro-ax. It had been modified, like the rest of the knights’ weapons, but to see a weapon made of the legendary beskar was something special. 

Kylo finished the introductions quickly, and made his way over to where you sat and took a seat next to you. You tensed slightly, and then relaxed as the others found their own seats at his command. The holotable in the center of you all lit up at Vicrul’s touch, pulling up a projection of Arkanis, the planet you were stopping at first. Ren began outlining his plan of how you were going to begin to search for the target who’d been positively identified in Scaparus Port by other operatives in the area. He and you were going to track him together while the knights were on standby, if and until they were needed. 

You were surprised Kylo was going to accompany you. At this point you figured his face was pretty recognizable. But then you supposed more people likely recognized his mask more than his face. You weren’t really sure how many people in the galaxy outside the First Order would actually recognize him. Still, he was quite large and daunting, so he would still stand out like a sore thumb.

As you were thinking about how you could possibly make him blend in better, you felt the knights stand up around you. You looked up as they started to walk away, heading to their quarters, leaving Kylo sitting next to you. You turned towards him studying you.

“Do you have any questions about the plan?”, he asked quietly.

“Just a couple. What outfit could you possibly wear that won’t draw any attention to you? No offence, but from what I’ve seen, your armor isn’t exactly covert. The black is good, but I have a feeling that people might have heard the description of it by this point. Also your lightsaber? How do you plan on concealing it and keeping it somewhere easily accessible at the same time. Yours is quite a bit larger than others I’ve seen.”

He raised his eyebrow at you.

“I do have other clothes you know. I know how to blend in. And don’t worry about the saber, that’s easily concealed. But I have to ask, how have you seen lightsabers before?”

You gave him a coy smile. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

You stood up and went to walk away, and you felt a large hand grab your wrist.

You rolled your eyes and turned around to look back down at him. He gave you a hard look.

“Look Ren, you don’t know  _ everything  _ about me. Not everything can be learned from reading from a report. And that’s okay. I don’t know everything about you, so I think it’s fair that I can keep secrets too.” 

His face dropped into a mask of neutrality and dropped your hand.

“You’re right. Apologies.”, he replied, voice just above a whisper. 

You began to head back to your quarters, and threw a glance back at him over your shoulder. He was still sitting there, looking at the hand he grabbed your wrist with. 

You made your way back to your room to gather some supplies and check your blaster before you made planetfall. You’d been sitting there, polishing the same spot on your blaster for 15 minutes. You couldn’t get the image of Kylo sitting and staring at his hand out of your head. You didn’t know how to interpret it. You didn’t want to think too deeply about it, but it was hard not to. You were worried about the integrity of the mission. It was one thing to do things on the ship. But what happens if he got too close while you were working together? You had to tread lightly.

There was a knock at your door. The one that led into the hallway. You stood up quickly, your blaster slipping from your grip. It clattered to the ground. You swore and scooped it up quickly, placing it on the bed. You went over to the door. It was Kylo.

He wore a dark blue knit sweater, with black trousers tucked into black leather boots that came up to his knees. On top of it all, he wore a dark grey coat that was meant to keep the rain off him, a hood hanging off his neck. You noted the blaster holstered on his hip. You swallowed thickly as you took him in. He was imposing no matter what he wore, but this gave you such a different feeling besides that. He almost seemed more human in this. In his normal armor and cloak, he felt like a warrior god who was untouchable. Even when you had him vulnerable in the bedroom, he still felt like he was barely human. He was someone who you could never see yourself  _ being with _ . You’d never imagined that kind of life with anyone. But here he stood, looking like just a man who’d shown up at your doorstep, ready to whisk you away on an adventure. 

But that’s not what this was. He was the Supreme Leader. You were a spy. You were nobody in the grand scheme of things. You had already told yourself that feelings were an option for you. You were going to use your physical relationship as much as you could, but you couldn’t allow yourself to imagine anything beyond that. It could only end in heartbreak and pain. And after what you had been through, you could never let yourself get hurt like that again.

“Are you ready (y/sn)?”, his words shaking you out of your thoughts.

“Ah, yes, sorry. I just need to grab a coat and grab my bag and my blaster. Give me a moment.”

You turned back into your room and chewed the inside of your cheek as you retrieved your items. You had to stay focused. You were getting too caught up in your own thoughts. The mission was all that mattered right now. If you weren’t on top of your game, you could compromise the mission and possibly get yourself and Kylo in serious danger. Not that you couldn’t handle yourselves, but there was always a chance you could be overwhelmed. Too many variables to account for. Especially if the Resistance was involved. You pulled on your coat and pulled the hood up over your head. 

“Shall we?”, you asked with a small smirk.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

You walked quickly to keep up with Kylo’s long gait and cursed his long legs. Rain battered your backs as you walked into the port from where you had parked your speeder bike on the edge of the town. You were mildly irritated at having to ride the same speeder as him, holding onto his waist as you sat behind him. You thanked the gods you were on a rainy planet so all you could smell was precipitation and the approaching brine of the ocean the port was located on. You didn’t want to get distracted by his scent while you gripped him tightly. You didn’t have any problems with speeders themselves, but you much preferred being the one in control of its trajectory.

He slowed his pace and you followed, and looked at his face from the corner of your eye. He gave you a return glance and headed towards a covered alley. You gave a quick look around to see if anyone was looking at you both suspiciously. After finding nothing out of the ordinary, you followed him.

He leaned up against one wall and you stopped in front of him, your back blocking anyone looking your way from seeing what you might be doing.

He pulled out a his and projected an image of your target between the two of you. You were looking for a young human woman with blonde hair and grey eyes. Her name was Karina Lemere, known associate of Kreek.

“She’s been seen in the port the past couple of days, meeting with different merchants, and conducting business with them. Our agents haven’t seen her yet today but didn’t observe her leave the port within the past 8 hours, so she should still be here.”

You nodded. 

“We should stake out the cantina, see if she makes an appearance there. Plus it will be good cover instead of us wandering around trying to find her. Better to let her come to us.”

He put the datapad back into his pocket. He started to walk away when you grabbed his arm. 

“Wait!”

He turned around to you, the situation almost mirroring the one back on the ship.

You slid your hand down his arm and grabbed his hand with your smaller one.

“Wait. People will relax more if they see a couple. Just… follow my lead, okay?”

He looked at you with a hint of suspicion, but let you pull him out of the alleyway by the hand. You settled into a leisurely pace with him, his body tense and movements stiff. You suppressed a snicker and leaned into him, making him tense up further. 

“Relax already, we’re supposed to be together, not on our very first date”, you mumbled out of the corner of your mouth. 

One of his signature eye twitches. One that you would never admit to yourself was becoming increasingly endearing. He sighed outwardly but some of the tension fell out of his shoulders. You felt his arm slip out of your grasp and encircle your waist. This took you by surprise, but you recovered and plastered a mask of contentment on your face. The picture of a girl enamored with her protective boyfriend. A decent facade to fool anyone looking on. 

You tried to not let the image get too comfortable in your mind. Mission above all else. Locate your target, extract the info. 

You made your way to the cantina, located right near the water. Not such a terrible view, through the rain at least, so maybe this one wouldn’t be too seedy. You were wrong. Like most others you’d had the pleasure of visiting, it was full of boisterous patrons deep in their cups and shady characters whose glances danced around the room regularly, marking every suspicious face inside. 

You gave Kylo a fake smile and pointed at a booth and pulled him over. You sat down and pulled a sticky menu towards yourself. He looked over your shoulder at it, keen to not touch one himself. You notice the options are pretty slim, and almost all fish based. You wrinkled your nose at that. You settled on some sort of vegetable and bone broth and a cup of caf. Kylo decided on just the caf. You headed up to the bar to place your order, giving the space a few nonchalant glances gauging any interest you might have drawn. It was mostly from drunken fishermen eyeing you with hunger. Inwardly you were disgusted, it was always the same with these types. But on the outside you gave a nervous smile, to maintain your non-threatening appearance.

After ordering your food and drinks, you walked back to the booth with two steaming mugs of caf. You placed one in front of Kylo and took your seat next to him again. You looked around again, seeing some of the fishermen still sneaking glances at you. You took a long drink of your beverage, letting the warmth seep into your chilled fingertips as the hot bitter drink warmed the rest of you. You felt Kylo lounge in the booth seat, resting one arm on the top behind you. You saw most of the fishermen look away quickly. You glanced back at him, an expression of irritation and possessiveness on his face. One that definitely wasn’t forced. He maintained his glare while he drank from his own mug. 

You leaned back, resting your head against his arm. 

Alarms went off in your head. You shouldn’t encourage this. But you were just playing a part, right? That’s the excuse you gave yourself anyways.

As time went on, you continued to monitor your surroundings discreetly. Your broth came and despite what you imagined, it wasn’t half bad. Patrons came and went, the din of the activity humming endlessly. You ordered another caf, your exhaustion making it harder than usual to stay focused. You wouldn’t be the one to mess this up. After prolonging your stay longer than you probably should have, Kylo pulled his data pad out. The screen flashed a message from under the table where he held it. He tilted it towards you. 

_ Target spotted, headed to cantina. _

You nodded and sat up straight in the booth. Keeping your eyes on the door without making it obvious, you both prepared for Lemere’s impending arrival. The doors opened and there she was. He shifted in his seat, tensing to get up. You grabbed his thigh. His head whipped to your face. You gave him an imperceptible shake of the head. 

“I’m going grab another drink, babe. Would you like anything?”

He searched your eyes for a moment.

“Not right now, maybe later… thank you, uh  _ babe _ .”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt at the pet name.

You headed back to the bar for the third time, to order your cocktail. Luck was with you as Lemere happened to be on the side of the bar closest to you. You sidled up next to her and placed your order. You sat there idle as the bartender prepared your drink. You glanced at Lemere and gave her a timid smile when you caught her looking back at you. She gave you a smile back. 

“I haven’t seen you in town before, you just get in?”, she asked, smiling prettily at you.

You answered with a shy and feminine voice very different from your own.

“Oh, hi, yeah! I just got in this morning, my boyfriend and I are on our way to Black Spire Outpost, and we stopped by to pick up some supplies. Our order is taking a while to fulfill so we stopped by to sample some local fare.” 

She looked around and her gaze settled on Kylo. He had his head down, concealing his features for the most part. Her eyebrows furrowed a bit. You tensed up a bit, hoping she didn’t somehow recognize him.

“Mind if I join you two?” She asked after she turned back towards you, the thoughtful expression gone.

“Oh, sure! The more the merrier.”

You both headed to your booth and took your places. You shimmied up closer to Kylo, acting eager and excited about introducing your new acquaintance to your “boyfriend”.

She smiled warmly at him, he responded with a dip of his head.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask your name up there. Mine is Karina.”, she stated.

“Oh how rude of me, my name is Terra!”, you responded with your alias.

You patted Kylo’s shoulder to push him to introduce himself as well.

“Ben. My name is Ben”, he said in a rough voice. She coughed awkwardly at his tone.

“Excuse his attitude, we’ve been flying for a while and he’s pretty tired. It isn’t helping that our order still isn’t ready. We were hoping to leave soon, but I’m beginning to suspect we might need to stay the night at this rate. You wouldn’t happen to know any good lodgings for a decent price would you? Our ship is pretty far, we came into town on a speeder. We’re not too keen on traveling all the way back in the dark.”, you rambled on to give your target the impression that you were pretty vapid and trusting.

She had been looking at Kylo while you were talking, but turned her attention back to you when you were done speaking. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t bother with trying to get a room here, they’ll try to gouge you on prices. My ship is actually just outside of town, and I’d be happy to lend you my spare room if you’d like.”, she said kindly, but with a hint of something dark. An ulterior motive. What could it be.

“That is incredibly generous of you, but we really couldn’t impose!”, you responded, feigning surprise.

“I insist, if you’d like, you could always just buy me a meal and we could call it even.” She replied with a small smile. 

_ Gotcha.  _

“Really? Well that is easily doable, just order what you’d like and tell them to our it on our tab.”, you responded sweetly.

She smiled wider and nodded. She got up and headed back to the bar, leaving her drink. Kylo watched her as you took a swig of your own beverage, the red liquid heating your throat in a delicious burn. You removed a small vial from inside your sleeve, and discreetly sprinkled its contents into Lemere’s drink. You replaced the vial in your sleeve, and lean back, taking another sip of your drink and giving Kylo a look to confirm your spiking her drink.

Karina made her way back over to you and sat down again. She picked up her mug and raised it in a toast. You raised yours as well. 

“To new friends!” 

You clinked your glasses together. She took a hearty gulp.

“To new friends.”, you replied warmly, feeling Kylo’s smile rather than seeing it.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

You held Lemere between the two of you, her laughing and stumbling around. She had knocked back two more drinks after consuming her spiked one, making her more difficult than you had predicted. You were currently walking her back to her ship, though her instructions to where it was weren’t very clear, coming out slurred and almost indecipherable. Finally, you made it to a starship located not too far from where you entered the town. It was a Corellian YT-2000 transport. Not what you had expected. You had Kylo support her against you as you went to lower the ramp. You took her other arm again around your shoulders again. 

You took her up the ramp and closed it behind you. You sat her down on a couch and stood back. 

“Karina, you are much heavier than you look.”, you said, exasperated.

Her head lolled around on her neck and she scoffed.

_ “Thas not verry nicee to say to uh ladee.” _ , she slurred.

You rolled your eyes. Now that you had her in privacy, you needed to get the situation under control. You dragged your hand down your face.

“Will you do… something about her?”, gesturing to her with a hand.

Kylo walked over to her. She eyed him warily and shrunk down into her seat.

_ “Whoaa there big fella, whatcha ya doin? You know you kinda look like-” _

He placed a hand above her face.

“Sleep.”, he commanded.

She slumped over onto the couch unconscious.

“Finally.”, you muttered. 

After drugging her, she had become almost completely unbearable. You had attempted to get her out after the initial drink, but she had managed to keep you there until she had finished her third beverage in an hour. Then she finally acknowledged she was a bit too hammered when she began swaying in her seat and said the room was spinning. You had no idea how this waif of a woman could hold her alcohol so well. Especially after being dosed with enough sedative to knock a grown man on his ass in ten minutes. You would have been impressed except she had made your job so much harder with her idiocy. 

You would have had Kylo put her to sleep sooner, but you couldn’t tell who was watching. You erred on the side of caution. So you maintained your facade of innocent visitors assisting your new acquaintance to her ship for the night. Now you had to move quickly, but quietly. 

“I’m going to retrieve the speeder, I shouldn’t be long.”, you told him.

You found an exit port leading out of the top of the ship and snuck out to avoid being noticed by anyone watching the ramp. You scramble down the side in the dark to go grab the speeder to take Lemere back to the Night Buzzard. As you make your way to grab the bike, you feel someone watching you. You move a little quicker as you notice a rather burly man following your movements. You reach the speeder and start walking back to the ship with one arm, your other hand resting on your blaster. 

When you came back to the area where you saw the stranger, he was gone. You exhaled in relief, but maintained your grip on your gun. The last thing you would want to happen was to be caught unawares. You pressed on when you heard heavy footsteps running up behind you. You whipped around, gun drawn, aimed towards the threat. It was the man. You fired, but he somehow dodged it. You cursed and adjusted your aim, but then your arm was thrown upwards and you were suddenly pulled into a pair of arms gripping you like a vice. You struggled against this second attacker and bit his arm. He howled and grabbed you by the hair, yanking your head back. The first attacker grabbed your kicking feet to prevent you from using them. You wrenched them from his grasp and planted them on the ground, using them to force the man holding you off balance, and backwards. His grip loosened and you took your chance. You aimed the gun at his head and went to pull the trigger when you felt the cold barrel of another blaster press against your skull. 

“I don’t think so Missy.”, you heard a slimy voice sneer at you. “Drop the gun.” 

You hissed, but dropped it, putting your hands up. They were smarter than they appeared.

“If you want the speeder, be my guest. But if you’re here for me, then prepare for a fight.”, you retorted, voice dripping with venom and acid.

“Oh I think not, my pretty little thing.”, he crooned while his partner stood up, grabbing your blaster. “You’re in no position to fight anyone. Two against one? Maybe you can fight, but we will not hesitate to shoot you if you attack again. Now, let’s go. You’ll make us a pretty sum once we turn you over to the slavers. They would love a strong, pretty thing like you.”

You bared your teeth, unmoving. You felt the bit of cold metal against your cheek. The idiot had pistol whipped you. You felt blood flood your mouth from your teeth cutting your cheek. You spat the blood at him, hitting his shirt. He swore. 

“STUPID BITCH, you’ll pay for that!” 

His associate grabbed you again, and he lunged at you to hit you again, harder.

The light of a red crackling blade almost blinded you as it swung and you heard a thud of something hitting the ground. Your eyes adjusted to this new light source and you saw Kylo standing there breathing heavily. Another thud. He had decapitated your would be kidnapper, his head on the ground next to his fallen body.

Your other attacker gasped at the scene and his grip loosened again. You took the chance to disarm him and aim the blaster back at his head. This time he put his hands up. He started blubbering and begging for his life. You cut off his pathetic cries with a shot between the eyes. He fell to the ground, smoke from the blast rising from his head. 

You spat more blood on the ground, clearing your mouth. That was going to sting for a while.

“(Y/n).”

You whipped around. Kylo rushed over to you before stopping a foot away, looking you up and down for any other injuries. You were in shock. Not from the attack, but from him calling you by your given name. He reached a hand to your face, but you flinched and stepped backwards from his reach. That was too personal. Too intimate of a thing for this situation. Your mind screamed  _ danger!!!  _ at you. You shook your head to clear your mind, but Kylo took it badly. The concern in his face disappeared, replaced by a stoic expression, his mask back in place. It stung, but it was probably for the best.

You sighed. “We need to get back to Lemere and get her back to the Night Buzzard. Quickly. Who knows if these pieces of bantha fodder had any other associates. We got what we came for, let’s get off this damn planet.”, you stated, voice betraying your worsened exhaustion.

He walked over to the bike and started walking it towards the YT-2000. You followed him in silence. You worked together quietly, retrieving the unconscious woman and loaded her onto the speeder. It was tedious, because neither of you had apparently thought about how to transport all three of you back safely. You somehow managed, and when you arrived back at your ship, the knights were outside waiting. Vicrul and Trudgen picked her up and took her inside, likely to an interrogation cell. After all you’d been through today, you would let them handle the information extraction. You wanted to go back to your room, tear your clothes off and slip into the bed waiting for you, and fall into the sweet release of sleep. You trudged inside while Kylo stayed behind, instructing some of the knights to go back into town and dispose of the corpses you left behind, to try and do some damage control.

You found your way to your room and quickly washed your mouth out of any remaining blood and did what you had set out to do. Your eyes closed as you laid your head on your pillow, and your exhaustion overtook you. 

You dreamt in colors. Blacks, blues, and flashes of red. At one point, you thought you heard your door open. Your eyes cracked open and you saw a large silhouette in the door. You were too tired to keep your eyes open beyond that, so you closed them again. You swore you felt your bed dip and someone caress your cheek softly. But your dreams were already so vibrant you were sure it was just another layer to them. Why would Kylo even bother coming in like that just to touch your cheek. Now you dreamt of nothing. 

The emptiness calmed you, and you fell deeper into it. Peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thirst Order wives. You complete me and your support is so incredible and I LOVE YOU <3


	8. Shower Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're digging yourself into a deeper hole, but hey, maybe it'll be worth it in the end. Kylo is more emotional than what you'd assume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took me a little while to get out because of a bad brain day, but I did it! And oh my goodness, I want to thank everyone who has been reading, left kudos, and bookmarked this story. I thoroughly enjoy writing this and reading the comments I've been getting. I hope you continue to enjoy this story and where this goes. I'm still not sure how long this might end up being. I've got a lot of ideas that I'm working on and this could be 20 chapters, or even 40 chapters. Maybe even more. We shall see!

You woke up still bundled under the heavy blanket, in only a large shirt and your underwear. You felt the ship humming, recognizing you were now off planet. You dragged your tongue across your teeth, still tasting a hint of copper from your blood. Your cheek bone was tender and sore, and likely bruised. You might even have a black eye. You got up and stretched, feeling your joints pop, and that your arms felt a little sore too. You looked at them to find purple splotches on your arms too. Bastards did a real number on you, but you felt satisfaction at their deaths. There was no way in hell you would have ever gone quietly, you were nobody’s slave. And you were sure that you would have ended up as someone’s pleasure slave after the tortured and broke your mind. If you weren’t killed for fighting back first. 

Your mind went back to last night. And immediately you saw Kylo’s face in your mind. The unrestrained rage in his face as he watched your attacker’s head and body fall to the ground. The concern that had made him look so sad and scared. That same concern disappearing to a cold mask at your seeming rejection. It made your insides twist and your chest feel tight. You didn’t know what to do. You started to rationalize to yourself that it was just infatuation. That was what you had set out to do right? Make him think he loved you. So why were you panicking?

_ Because you have feelings too, despite your insistence that you don’t, you idiot. _

You built up your resolve, flimsy as it was, to not let these feelings take root any further. They would pass. You were just attracted to his power, his control. That was what you always wanted, and that’s all this was.

_ If you say so _ , a voice whispered in your head. You pushed it to the back of your mind.

You checked your datapad for the time. You nearly dropped it. You’d slept for 11 hours. You almost went rushing to change to see what was going on with your prisoner, when you saw a message from Kylo. It had been received about an hour ago.

_ Prisoner has been interrogated and information extracted. We’ve erased her memory and released her. En route to the next location, feel free to rest as long as you need, we won’t be arriving for another few hours. _

_ -SL _

You relaxed. You placed the datapad back on the nightstand next to your bed. You sighed and grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the refresher. The door opened, and the sound of water falling hit your ears. Kylo was in the shower. You stopped in the doorway. You tensed back up again. 

“(Y/sn)?”

You gulped, and steeled yourself. You wouldn’t be intimidated at the thought of a simple interaction with him. You’d seen the man on his hands and knees before you, begging, for gods’ sake. This was nothing. 

You walked in briskly, bringing with you an air of nonchalance and acting unperturbed. You strode over to the vanity, and placed your clothes on the counter. You pulled your shirt over your head and turned around. He stood there watching you, mouth slightly ajar. You returned his stare, pulling down your panties, stepping out of them and walking towards the shower. You opened the door and closed it behind you, steam warming your face and body immediately. You looked at him pointedly, and he stepped out of the way. You stepped under the water and closed your eyes as it soaked your hair. You pulled your face out of the water and looked back towards him. He sat on a bench built into the shower, gaze resting on your body. You slicked back your hair out and away from your face. You scrubbed your arms and your chest slowly. His eyes raked up your body and met yours.

You dropped your arms to your sides and slowly approached him. You were as tall as he was sitting, you gently pinched his chin in between your thumb and forefinger, and rubbed your thumb across his plush lips. His eyes went to your lips. He reached his hand up to stroke your bruised cheek. You grabbed it as it landed on your cheek and you grabbed his throat with the hand that had been under his chin. You pushed him back against the tiled wall by his thick neck, his wrist next to his head. He inhaled sharply as you increased the pressure on his windpipe, his body instinctively gathering oxygen before it was denied access to his lungs. Not that your hand was big enough to wrap around it, but your grip was still strong enough to make it harder to breathe. 

He gasped a bit.

You slammed your mouth against his hungrily, biting his lower lip between your teeth. You sunk your teeth into the soft flesh until you tasted his blood. He groaned and you licked your lips. Blood mixed with the water still dripping down his body from the steam. 

You knelt onto the bench, the tile digging into your knees, and then you sat on his lap, encircling his waist with your legs. You felt his growing erection on your thigh. You let go of his wrist to wrap your other hand around his throat as well.

You sat there, gripping his throat, your legs like a vice around his body. He sputtered a little bit at the lack of air. You leaned up to his ear.

“I’m grateful you saved me last night. Really. But next time, be a little quicker, understood?”, you whispered.

He nodded.

You relaxed your grip and he gasped as his body sucked in the humid air. 

“Who needs the Force to choke someone when you can do it the old fashioned way? Feels good to grip their throats and see their face change color.” You went to get off of his lap, but his hands found your wrists. You hissed at the pain from having your bruised wrists grabbed. His eyes went large as he realized what he’d done. He relaxed his grip but didn’t let go.

“I’m sorry, (y/sn). For not getting there faster, and for letting them hurt you. And for my hurting you,” he accentuated his apology by bringing your wrists between the two of you, and rubbing them gently with his thumbs. “Please… don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

You stiffened. “It’s just a shower Kyl--  _ Ren _ . I just wanted to make sure you knew what you need to do better, I’m not leaving you. We have a mission to do.” 

He still refused to let you go, his eyes bored into yours, his brows pinched together as he searched for some answer you didn’t think you could ever give him. You tried to look the other way, but you were drawn into the maelstrom of emotions in his eyes. 

“We’ve gotten in too deep, Ren. This isn’t what I meant to happen. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.”, you urged, trying, and failing to get him to see why this wouldn’t work.

“You think I don’t know you, Sellene? I know you want to believe that, but deep down you don’t even know who you really are. You’re fighting with a side of yourself you don’t want to acknowledge is there, but it is. You think no one notices, but you’re wrong. I do. I see it. Because I know what to look for, because I’m fighting with myself too.” 

He let go of your wrists to hold your hands. 

You looked at him, shocked.

“You might not let me in yet. And that’s fine. I understand. I don’t know how to let in anyone else yet either. But please, don’t shut me out totally. I know you’re drawn to me, just like I am to you. And this isn’t going to end badly. I still want you and I to have the physical relationship we have. I need that. But don’t be afraid to explore beyond that.”

Your lip quivered, so you bit it to stop it. His own lip had slowly stopped bleeding, and you looked at it.

“Kylo… you’re right. I’m not ready to open up. And yes, there are feelings there. But those can’t be important. Not right now, but maybe down the line.” 

You dragged your eyes from his mouth up to his eyes. They were molten with unspoken emotion.

“I’m not sure how to act on those feelings. I’m not good at feelings. I’ve been on emotional lockdown for years, and pretty words won’t change that, at least not right away. So,  _ please _ , don’t push me too hard, or this will never work. I won’t leave, but you have to promise to give me time and space when I ask for it. Otherwise, I will walk.” 

One of his hands grasped the back of your neck gently, the intimacy of the action almost too much for you. You gasped lightly. He brought his lips to yours, and kissed you slowly. Your eyes closed and you returned the kiss. His grip found its way to your hair and lightly tugged your head back to expose your neck. His lips found your throat, and he sucked on it, then soothing the spots with his tongue. 

You let him take control, but a hint of fear made you grab his biceps, nails digging into his arms. This kind of intimacy scared you. You trusted him, but it was like he was the only thing holding you from falling over a dark pit. You wrapped your legs around him again, desperate to hold onto something more as he took you to the unknown. His hands slid down your back to cup your ass, grasping you roughly as he stood up and supporting your weight. You cried out in surprise, and you hugged your arms around his neck for extra support. He growled into your neck, and nipped at the spot where your neck met your shoulder. This proved almost to be almost too much stimulation and you felt your core go molten. Your back hit the wall and you wound your hands into his hair, grabbing tight and pulling his face back up to you.

_ “Kylo, fuck me already.” _ , you breathed.

He wasted no time aligning his hard cock with your entrance and slamming into you, letting your body drop a little so he was fully sheathed in you. Your eyes rolled back into your head as a strangled noise came out of your throat. Your head hit the wall hard enough that when you regained your focus, you saw stars. He began pounding into you, lifting you with his arms just to let you fall back onto him. The angle was so that he hit your g-spot repeatedly. You were quickly approaching your climax already and you didn’t care. You found yourself getting lost in the pleasure he relentlessly gave you. Your hands couldn’t keep still, wandering over his torso, arms, neck, and in his hair. Suddenly your vision flooded with white as he hit you just right, and your head fell forward, your forehead on his chest as you moaned through your orgasm.

And even then, he never relented in his pace, eager to find his own release. As you panted and hummed as your body started to wind itself up again so soon after your first climax, he carried you back over to the bench, setting you both down, with you still wrapped around him. You adjusted your position so that you knelt on the tile again, and started riding him, impaling yourself with his cock. He did most of the work to get you your orgasm, only fair you returned the favor.

You bounced yourself up and down, clenching him with your cunt in controlled movements, eager to milk him of his cum. You placed your hands on his shoulders, using them for extra leverage, and you watched his face while you drew his pleasure out of him. Moaning and whispering your name while you were entranced by his beauty once again. You kissed his jawline and then his lips, your tongue opening his mouth and finding his. You felt him start to twitch inside you. You pulled back from his mouth and placed your forehead against his.

“Cum for me baby.  _ Cum for me Kylo.” _

His eyes burned into yours as he gasped out your name one last time before he opened his mouth to roar as he spurted into you. You captured his mouth with your own to swallow the sound while you hit your second orgasm and your voice mixed with his. Your hands wound their way into his hair as you came down from your orgasms, kissing lazily and you both sat there, spent.

Finally after who knew how long, you moved and groaned at the pins and needles sensation that pricked your calves from sitting in that position for too long. You stood up slowly to avoid falling over from your sleeping limbs. 

“Ughhh don’t let me end up like that again.”, you complained.

He chuckled darkly.

You grabbed him by the jaw again.

“And don’t get used to being the one in control, that is a rare occurrence, get it? I’ll tell you when I feel like doing that again.”, you slapped his face lightly and kissed the tip of his nose. “Now if you’re done with your shower,  _ get out.” _

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

After finishing your shower, you brushed your teeth and checked out your bruises to see just how bad you looked. It was about what you expected. Cheek was splotched with purple and green, just like arms and wrists. You searched in the cabinet you saw Kylo had opened for the container of bacta. You found it and dabbed a generous amount on the spot and then rubbed it in deeper, hissing at the throbbing the ensued. Your face was the worst part, the bone underneath likely bruised as well. There might have even been a slight fracture. It had been a rather hard hit. He had deserved getting his head lopped off. Your only regret is that you hadn’t been the one to do it. 

Turning your face back and forth, you deemed your work satisfactory. You pulled on the clothes you had brought in with you and braided your hair against your scalp so it was secure and unlikely to come loose. You had settled on clothes that mirrored styles popular in the Outer Rim territories. You wore brown trousers and knee high brown leather boots, with a beige button up top and a black scarf. You had a rust colored coat you would wear over it all when you were ready to depart from the ship. And your blaster holster of course.

You headed back to your room and packed your knapsack before settling on top of your bed. Grabbing your datapad, you spent the next hour and a half going over the new intel sent to you regarding your next target and the planet they had been spotted on, Batuu. You had heard a little bit about the planet from your travels on your missions. You knew it was home to an outpost that served as a haven for smugglers and other shady characters from all over the galaxy. 

Suddenly your stomach growled it’s desire for food, and for it to be quick. You went to exit your room, the door opening and you nearly walked face first into a wall of black. You stepped back surprised and looked up to find Kylo in your doorway. He wore an outfit that you would expect to see on a smuggler, perfect camouflage for your next destination. He looked… dashing. You would never admit to yourself, but you were quite enjoying these outfits. His armor and cloaks were great for intimidation, but you weren’t looking to be intimidated. You both stood there blinking at each other until he spoke.

“I was coming to check and see if you were hungry. You were asleep for a while.”, he ventured cautiously with his words.

You closed your open mouth and just nodded dumbly. 

He turned and started walking down the hallway, with you following quickly behind after grabbing your bag. You figured it would be best to have it just in case you needed to depart during or immediately after your meal. He noticed your hurried pace to keep up and slowed down so you could walk evenly with him. 

With just a few words and declarations, your dynamic had changed. You still weren’t sure how this would work out, but he promised you it would. You decided to put your trust in him for now. And this new power dynamic was becoming less intimidating as you opened yourself to it. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe it  _ could _ work with him. 

You reached the ship’s galley and just like the rest of the ship, save maybe your room and the refresher, was dark and neutral, preferring function over aesthetic. Though you supposed it went with the Knight’s aesthetic, besides terrifying. You sat down on the bench of the long table that stretched the length of the room. Kylo went into a side room and came out with two steaming dishes in his hands. He placed one in front of you, as well as next to you, at the head of the table. He retrieved a glass of water and cutlery for you as well. You nodded your thanks and looked at the food in front of you. It was some kind of salted meat and veg dish. You cut into the meat and took a bite. It was tough and gamey, but not unpalatable. Of course compared to the bland ration packs of veg-meat and polystarch you’d had to subsist off of in the past, most things were decent enough to eat.

You both sat in comfortable silence, eating your meals, not feeling quite as awkward as you might have expected. Vicrul came rushing in, seemingly eager to relay something to his leader.

“Master Ren, we’ve detected rebel ships in the vicinity of Batuu. How would you like to proceed?”

Kylo sat up straighter, an air of authority radiating from him. His voice was cold and commanding as he asked, “How many?”

“Five that we’ve counted on the scanner. There’s a chance of more planetside.”, Vicrul responded, an edge of excitement at the possibility of violence audible, even through his helmet’s voice modulator.

“Have Kuruk drop out of hyperspace a good distance away, let’s keep the element of surprise on our side. I still don’t want the rebellion to know what we’re up to. If we destroy their ships now, there’s a chance we could give away our location before we’re ready. I want to get planetside without alerting them.”

You could detect the minute deflation of Vicrul’s excitement, even though he didn’t express it vocally or physically. So did Kylo because he added:

“If we come into contact with any of their operatives at the outpost, I’ll be sure to call you in to play. There is plenty of scum in Black Spire who would kill a rebel for next to nothing, we can use that to cover our tracks.”

Vicrul nodded his agreement and took his leave to inform Kuruk of Kylo’s instructions. You were glad you were sitting down as the Night Buzzard dropped out of hyperspace into realspace a moment later. You both finished your meal and followed Kylo into the room he grabbed the food from to place your plates and such in a washer.

He led you to the cockpit where some of the other knights stood, observing the scene in front of you. There you spotted a few X-wings and transport ships outside of the blue planet’s atmosphere. You were worried about your close proximity to the rebel’s small fleet, but Kuruk diverted the ship’s trajectory to give them a wide berth. Apparently the Night Buzzard was outfitted with some cloaking tech, making the vessel like a ghost to the enemy’s scanners. You entered the atmosphere without being noticed and started your descent. You made your way towards the outpost, keeping low to the ground to blend in with jungle forest. You noticed the jungle gave way to large jutting pillars as you approached the large settlement. You realized they were actually petrified trees, which gave you the hint to the outpost’s name. 

Kuruk found a clearing and landed the ship a good distance from the outpost. Kylo and you headed to the common room and grabbed your pack from where you had left it on your way to the galley. You headed to the ramp, which had already been lowered. Outside you found two of the knights waiting for you, with speeders of their own. You almost did a double take as you realized they weren’t wearing their helms or their usual outfits. You weren’t sure who was who until you noticed they had their weapons on them. Vicrul and Ushar, with their scythe and war club, respectively. Vicrul was surprisingly handsome, his dark skin and close cropped curly hair contrasted by his piercing grey eyes. Ushar wasn’t quite as distinctly fetching, but there was something attractive about his scarred and gruff exterior. He wore a selection of various sized scars on his face and neck. You were sure there were more under the clothes and gloves that concealed the rest of his body. He had long scraggly brown hair and dark brown eyes that hid a threat of cruelty within them. Besides their main weapons that were strapped to their backs, they both also carried blasters on their hips. Ushar also carried a bandolier of thermal detonators on his chest. Even Kylo had his lightsaber strapped to his back under his jacket and twin blaster pistols holstered on his hip.

You felt like you were a bit underprepared with just your blaster on your hip and the vibro blade concealed in one boot. You had thought about bringing some more weapons, but had decided against it in favor of not seeming entirely unapproachable. Perhaps you had underestimated the dangers to be found in Black Spire. But if you stayed close to these three, you were sure you’d be left well enough alone.

You noted that the knights both had their own speeders, but there was only one other beside that. You looked at Kylo through narrowed eyes.

“ _ Really? _ I don’t get my own speeder,  _ again? _ ”, you hissed through gritted teeth.

He smirked as he mounted the bike.

“There’s only enough for the knights and myself, and they need the others here in case we need to call for backup.”, he explained, his tone slightly mocking. He faced the knights. “Go ahead without us and scout the area. We’ll follow shortly.”

They nodded and took off, the bikes kicking up a cloud of dust and leaf litter.

“I’m glad you’re able to find some amusement in my irritation. I think I might not find myself in your quarters anytime soon if you keep that behavior up,  _ Supreme Leader _ .”, you seethed. “At least let me drive so I don’t feel ill.”

He scoffed and feigned being stung by your words.    
  


“Do you think I’m not a good driver, Ma’am?”, he mockingly quipped, sliding back in the seat to let you take the handles.

You pinched his thigh hard as you climbed onto the seat. 

“You’re such a child.”, you muttered, revving the bike to life. You accelerated the bike, and you felt Kylo loosely wrap his arms around your waist and his long legs lean against your own. Your breath caught in your throat as his face nestled into the crook of your neck. You almost swerved out of surprise at the sudden intimacy. You felt his laugh reverberate against your skin as he realized his effect on you. He gave you a slight squeeze and your heart stuttered. 

“Are you trying to get us killed? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t knock it off.”, you said over the drone of the bike. You weren’t mad, just caught off guard at the sudden affection and the distraction it caused. But you were definitely going to have to discipline him  _ thoroughly _ . You’d brought his strap on, even after you’d made him promise to keep his hands to himself on the mission. He’d failed quickly, but you were partly to blame there. Well,  _ mostly  _ to blame. But regardless, you’d only brought the toy so that when you got back to the Steadfast, you wouldn’t have to waste time going to your room to retrieve it before using it on him.

But now that you knew you had the privacy of your own rooms, you’d tossed your logic out the airlock and watched it float away with a smile as you waved goodbye to it. He really did affect you in the worst ways, but it always led to the best kinds of pleasure. You bit your lip in anticipation of how you would take him when you finished this extraction. You were anxious to get it done and over with.

You reached the perimeter of the outpost a minute later, Vicrul and Ushar leaning against their parked speeders for your arrival. Kylo removed himself from the bike and walked over to them. You parked the speeder and made your way over to them as you overheard them talking in low voices. You were able to catch a few words as you noticed Kylo’s shoulders tense up.

“Falcon”-- “rebels”-- “wookie”

You came to stand next to him as they finished talking. He was looking at the ground with a look of cold fury contorting his handsome face. You placed a hand on his arm and his eyes shot to your face. 

“What am I missing? I heard something about rebels and a wookie?”, you questioned softly and cautiously.

“...We’re no longer the only ones looking for the holocron. Our intel was compromised.” He exhaled hard. “The rebels have caught wind of the rumors and they sent agents of their own. Including their Jedi.”

You stiffened at those last words. The Jedi of the Resistance was here, Rey. The same one who defeated Kylo and gave him the scar that cleaved his face almost in two. The one who had killed the previous Supreme Leader. You didn’t usually let fear distract you, but this was different. She was a force to be reckoned with. This changed everything. Your target was likely already being questioned by the rebel forces. You weren’t prepared for this turn of events.

“What… What do we do?”, you asked quietly.

“You and Vicrul will continue on. They don’t know what either of you look like. I will head back to the ship with Ushar and gather the others for a ground assault, as well as summon one of the destroyers for the fight against their starfighters.. You two gather what information you can, but this is likely going to end in a fight.” He turned to Vicrul. “Protect her with your life.” 

Vicrul placed a fist over his chest and bowed. “As you will, Master Ren.”

Kylo stood there for a moment and looked at you before he grabbed the speeder and raced back to the Night Buzzard with Ushar. 

You sucked your lip into your mouth and turned to Vicrul.

“Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading my story, and thank you all for your support. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read it. 
> 
> Also, my friends who inspired me to write this have been wanting a Mando story, so it might take me a little longer than usual to post another chapter because I promised I would give them that story too. I'm thinking about just making that a one shot so I can focus on Control, but who knows what could happen. Quarantine has got me just writing like crazy, and it's taking me places I never expected. So if you like The Mandolorian, keep an eye out for that story soon.
> 
> <3 to my girls, you make my days so bright.


	9. Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Vicrul have begun your mission, but enemies make their appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut here today, sorry. BUT! PLOT, FIGHTING, FEELINGS, AND ANGST TO BE FOUND HERE. I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> You guys... I wrote TWO stories today. This chapter came out of me in just a couple hours after finishing another story. I don't know where this creative flow even came from tbh. I wrote a Mando X Reader fic for my Thirst Order ladies and if you don't follow my works, here's a link for those interested. 
> 
> A Different Kind of Bounty
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25512010
> 
> Anyways, enjoy chapter 9!!

Vicrul walked closely behind you as you both entered the outpost, both of you wary of the market that was bustling around you. You kept your eyes peeled for anyone who might fit the descriptions of some of the rebels who were high on the First Order’s list. The Jedi Rey was at the very top, along with defector FN-2187, who had begun to be referred to as Finn. Also on the list was Commander Poe Dameron, one of the biggest thorns in the First Order’s side. His piloting abilities and leadership had led to some of the most damage sustained by the Order, and his arrogant attitude was legendary. Their faces were seared into your mind from memorizing their pictures on your datapad for hours. You had been keenly aware of how taking out any of these three could very well get you a promotion, at least that was on your mind before you began your relationship with Kylo.

But now as you and Vicrul made your way through the crowded area, vendors shouting over each other to promote their wares, you were mindful that any of them could be there now. And while FN-2187 and Dameron didn’t intimidate you much, the thought of the Jedi being near made you a little twitchy. 

Vicrul had given you a brief rundown of what he and Ushar had observed in their ride around the perimeter. They had seen the Millennium Falcon parked on the other edge of the outpost and the wookie Chewbacca had been watching the ship while the Jedi and some rebels headed inside. They weren’t sure if they had located your target or not, so your mission was still largely the same. You just had to be mindful not to seem too suspicious and blow your cover. Which would be easy enough if you could just get your nerves under control. 

Kylo and his knights had been able to ascertain that Arrus Kreek was indeed on Batuu. Lemere had been easy enough to crack, so there wasn’t any doubt that her intel wasn’t fake. She had supplied you with the details that he was there to make a deal with a representative for some spice runners. The deal was to take place in the local cantina, Oga’s. 

You stopped at a stall selling some Jogan fruit and purchased a couple to make the owner more pliable for info. 

“Thank you so much, would you be kind enough to point us in the direction of the cantina? I’m afraid I’ve never been before and my partner here and I are famished.”

The vendor pocketed the credits you handed him and pointed cheerfully towards a roadway that led towards the back of the outpost. 

“Right down that way miss, you can’t miss it. Big sign above the door.” 

You nodded your thanks and headed in the direction he had pointed in. You found the building just as he had described and heard some music blaring inside, even with the doors closed. You looked at the knight beside you, him returning the look and nodding at you. He opened the door for you and you strutted in, taking on a cavalier persona. You made your way up to the bar and ordered a Slug Slinger. Vicrul scanned around and gave you a signal he’d spotted Kreek. You gave an indiscernible nod and followed him back to the booth the Rodian was sitting at. You both took a seat at his table, his globular eyes widening at your intrusion. 

“Hello Kreek.”, you said with a crooked half smile. 

“Who- who are you?? I don’t want any trouble.”, he asked nervously. He looked at Vicrul, fear making his eyes open impossibly wider. He didn’t even realize you had your blaster pointed at him under the table. 

You took a long swig of your drink before giving him an answer, letting him sweat it out further. The drink slithered down your throat, the sweetness coating your tongue as it warmed your belly. You placed your drink on the table, smacking your lips and then pressed your blaster into his knee. He yelped as he realized you had him completely cornered. 

“Well my friend, it appears you have some  _ valuable _ information that I have been desperately looking for. And you will be coming with me and my associate here so we can chat somewhere a little more  _ private _ .”, you let the words drip from your mouth with venomous sweetness. You motioned with your head to stand up. He did so, slowly. You holstered your blaster with a serpentine smile.

“Good boy, now if you’ll follow me, we can make this little conversation nice and quick, and you can go back about your business in no time.” 

You led the way out of the bar, throwing some credits at the barkeep to cover your tab and Kreek’s. Vicrul brought up the rear, ensuring your quarry didn’t try to escape or harm you. You turned down an alley to try and find a way back to where you had entered the outpost without going through the crowd that flooded the streets back at the market. You wound your way through some back roads but stopped when you heard voices up ahead. You held up a hand signaling to stop. Vicrul grabbed Kreek by the arm, and held up a finger to his lips to make sure he stayed quiet. The Rodian nodded quickly in response.

You got closer to the end of the wall you were up against, straining to hear what the voices were saying.

“Rey, we have to stick together, we can’t risk splitting up to find this guy. The First Order are after him too. We can’t risk running into them while we’re alone.”, a male voice said excitedly.

“He’s right you know, not all of us can deflect blaster bolts using a laser sword like you can.”, came another male voice, this one more laid back, with a hint of amusement coating his words.

A lyrical female voice responded to the two, “Fair point, but at the same time, we can cover more ground and find him faster if we do split up. But if you both really think you need my protection from stormtroopers that badly, I’d be happy to oblige.” Her voice was warm and full of mirth. This was her. This was the Jedi who’d been a constant pain for Kylo, the one who gave him the scar, and left him for dead after killing Snoke only months ago. Anger bloomed inside of you. It made you slowly remove your blaster and prepare to jump from where you hid and shoot down the rebels where you stood. You felt a hand grasp your arm and tug you back.

You whipped around to glare at Vicrul. He shook his head, a firm look on his face. You bared your teeth at him and tried to tug out of his grasp, but he pulled you back harder and forced your arm against the wall. Your grasp on the blaster loosened and it fell to the ground. Unfortunately it landed hard enough to fire into the alley beyond. You heard a yell from one of the males. 

_ Shit. _

You heard footsteps heading quickly in your direction. Vicrul grabbed Kreek’s arm and started to pull him along back the way you came. You quickly grabbed your gun from the ground and took off after them, whipping your head back as the trio rounded the corner. You threw your arm back and shot at them, the men pulling out their own and shooting back. You saw the Jedi pull a metal hilt off of her hip and ignite the saber. Your eyes widened and you turned back around and ran as fast as you could to catch up with Vicrul and Kreek. 

_ “They’ve got Kreek!” _ , the darker male shouted. FN-2187.

You felt your heart pounding against your rib cage and your lungs burn with over exertion. Vicrul was ridiculously fast, but you also had heeled boots on. You were regretting that choice as your feet pelted the uneven ground, making staying upright increasingly harder. You ducked as a blaster bolt flew over your head. Vicrul turned quickly up ahead, you slowed down slightly to ensure you didn’t fall over as you made the right turn. 

A set of feet sounded closer than the others, the thudding footsteps gaining on you quickly. You realized the hum of the lightsaber was getting closer too. Rey was behind you. You watched Vicrul make another turn, and you kept going straight. You realized you had to keep her away from Vicrul and Kreek at all costs. She pursued you and yelled to her companions behind her.

_ “TAKE THE NEXT LEFT AND FOLLOW THEM, I’VE GOT HER.”  _

Perfect, she fell into your trap. You smiled to yourself as you panted. You ducked into another alley and hid in an alcove while she followed and kept going until she realized you were no longer behind her. You stepped out of your hiding place and aimed your blaster at her. She turned around at the sound of your heels.

“Who are you? Why do you have Arrus Kreek?”, she questioned.

“You’re her. You’re the Jedi who defeated the Supreme Leader.”, you snarled softly between your labored breaths.

“You’re First Order, aren’t you?”.

She raised her lightsaber defensively. 

“I should kill you for what you’ve done to Ren. He’s been a man possessed after what you’ve done to him.”, you sneered at her. “But I think he deserves that honor. Killing the last Jedi will be a great achievement for him. And I would love the chance to be the one to deliver you to him.”

You stared at each other for a few moments when you heard the tell tale sound of Dreadnought class cruisers arriving overhead.

Her head shot up at the sound. 

_ “No.” _ , she uttered to herself as cruisers on both sides began to exchange fire. You saw TIEs begin to swarm out of the Dreadnoughts and meet X-Wings in a dog fight close to the stratosphere. Transports made their way towards the outpost escorted by more TIE fighters, and you smiled triumphantly. Kylo had made good on his promise. Now you just had to make good on your end of the deal. He might not have verbalized it, but the look on his face before you parted spoke volumes. You were to come out of this alive. You might not make it out unscathed, but you wouldn’t die. Not today. 

You aimed and shot at the Jedi before you while she was still distracted. Her instincts were sharper than you imagined, as she deftly blocked and redirected the shot away from herself. She faced you with a look of fury contorting her face.

_ “What is he to you?” _ , she snarled at you.

“Someone important, but that’s not any of your business, is it,  _ JEDI _ ?”, you spat back at her. You shot at her a few more times, but she blocked every shot. You growled at her as you began to approach her, continuing your barrage against her. She walked backwards continuing to deflect your attacks. You managed to push her into a deserted courtyard, the outpost denizens likely having shuttered themselves inside their homes at sounds and sights of the battle headed towards them. You cared little for the collateral damage that would ensue. All that mattered now was disarming the enemy in front of you and delivering her to your Supreme Leader. 

All at once an explosion happened to your left. A stray shot from one of the TIE fighters laser cannons had hit near you, causing debris to rain down on you both. You threw your hand up to block the debris from hitting your face and getting into your eyes. Then you suddenly felt yourself flying backwards rapidly until your back slammed against a wall, your head following suit and a cracking sound reverberated through your skull. Your teeth clacked together from the impact and you fell to the ground in a daze. You saw feet headed towards you through blurry eyes, a blade of blue light extended towards you.

You looked up, trying, and failing to focus your eyes at the furious warrior in front of you. You spat her feet and gave her your best defiant expression. 

_ “Who is Kylo Ren to you?” _ , you heard her hiss at you, insistent on getting the answer out of you.

You sat there silently and gave her a humorless smile. She bared her teeth back at you.

“Fine, don’t answer that question. How about this: where is your associate taking Arrus Kreek?”

“Sorry, I don’t answer to  _ rebel scum _ .” You retorted.

She growled in frustration. She lifted her blade towards your face. You leaned away from the blinding heat of the saber. Fear flooded your veins.

You felt him before you heard him.

_ “LEAVE HER ALONE, REY.” _ , a voice thundered across the courtyard. You looked past your aggressor and saw Kylo. You felt your face soften as you took in his massive frame, his own lightsaber ignited. He was back in his armor, and covered in dirt and what looked to be spatterings of blood. His chest heaved in his anger, the emotion practically tangible. He was fury and violence personified in this moment, looking like a god of war in human form.

Rey saw the look on your face and the one on his and something inside clicked.

“You  _ love  _ him, don’t you?”, she asked, disbelief crossing her features. She turned and faced him. “And you care for her too, don’t you, Ben?” 

Your head still felt fuzzy from the probable concussion you’d gotten from your impact. It throbbed and ached, along with your jaw. But when she called him Ben, a memory surfaced from your time on Arkanis. That had been the name he had used back in the cantina when you were giving Lemere your aliases. Confusion overtook your head, but your thoughts were too cluttered to form any more cohesive thoughts. Instead, you watched as they rushed at each other, their blades clashing together. You observed his brutal strikes against her quickly timed parries, and saw the amethyst sparks that flew off of the blades where they met. His attacking blows were almost feral, the strength enough to make her lose ground until she twisted around and redirected his blade into the ground. He shoved a palm towards her, using the Force to send her backwards like she had done to you only minutes before. She managed to flip herself midair so that she landed on her feet, graceful as a Loth-cat. She ran back at him this time with her blade upside down in her grasp, blade angled out in an attack position.

You were entranced by this strange dance they had with each other. You realized they were evenly matched for the most part. She had some degree of control, but her fighting wasn’t as refined as Kylo’s, but still managed to keep up with him. They were moving almost in sync, starting to predict where one would strike next with more startling accuracy with each blow. Your mouth fell slack as you realized they had some tenuous connection that drew them together. A connection that you could never have with him. They were enemies, but they were equals. Two sides of the same coin, walking with the Force. One in the light, the other shadowed by the dark.

You sat there numbly at this epiphany, until shouts came closer from the battles that were raging beyond the courtyard where you three were in. FN-2187 came running in, shooting at Kylo and yelling Rey’s name. Kylo stopped the blaster bolts in midair, his focus drawn away from the enemy in front of him.

Rey whipped towards her companion.

“Rey! We have to go now! Chewie’s got the Falcon ready, but we have to leave  _ now _ if we wanna get out of here before the TIEs find him.”, the male hurriedly explained, his gun still trained on Kylo. The Supreme Leader still held the blasts in the air as he twirled his blade and began advancing on the pair. 

Rey grunted in frustration but nodded and grabbed FN-2187’s hand and took off with him. 

Kylo let the blasts hit the wall behind where he had been standing a minute ago, and almost took off after them until he remembered you were sitting in a daze on the ground behind him. He rushed over to you. He gently grasped your face in his large hands and looked you over. He lightly touched the back of your head where it had crashed against the wall. You hissed in pain. He drew the hand back, and found congealed blood coating his gloved fingertips.

“ _ Kriff. _ You’re bleeding, and you’ve likely got a concussion.”, Kylo said, concern leaking into his low voice.

“ _ Gee, you think? _ ”, you asked sarcastically. You tried and failed to stand, the movement making you dizzy. Kylo grasped you by the waist and lifted you up slowly and gently. Despite you being dead weight from your inability to support yourself, he lifted you with ease into his arms. One thick arm cradled your neck and the other under your knees. Your head spun but your chuckled as you realized he was holding you like a groom would his new bride. It was disgustingly affectionate. So much so that you could have thrown up. Or maybe that was just the concussion. 

He carried you out as steadily as he could without jarring you, and walked you through the battlefield, troopers covering you both as you headed to the edge of the outpost. You turned back towards the fighting, watching the Knights of Ren leading the frontlines, causing chaos and wreaking havoc upon the remaining soldiers and the few rebelling citizens of the outpost. You noticed one knight in particular was missing. Suddenly you were going up an incline and you turned your head back forwards and saw the Night Buzzard engulf you. 

Kylo walked down a hallway until he reached an open doorway. The ship’s medbay waited inside. He carried you over to an examination table and gently deposited you onto its surface. He stepped back as a med droid came forward from its station and began to wave examination tools up and down your body, assessing your damage and injuries.

It rattled off a mercifully small list of injuries in its mechanic voice.

“ _ Diagnostics indicate a severe cerebral concussion and abrasion caused by impact injuries. Small hairline fractures in the left ulna and humerus, as well as right ulna and radius. Multiple contusions on head, shoulders, spine, and legs. Treatment recommended: bacta tank submersion. _ ”

You shuddered slightly at the thought of being placed into the tank of warm slime like fluid. But your injuries were severe enough to require the use of them. Otherwise it would take you months to heal from the damage. Kylo stepped back up to your side, leaving the med droid to prepare the tank. Concern still lingered on his face, but anger was the expression that controlled his features as the moment.

“I will destroy them for putting you in danger.” 

You noted he said them instead of her. You pushed the thought away and reached for his hand. You grasped it tightly in your own and looked at him. His face softened and he brushed your face, removing bits of dirt and debris from it. He also cleared the hair stuck to your face away.

You leaned into his touch as you asked a question you had a feeling that you shouldn’t have asked.

“Why did the Jedi call you Ben?”

His eyes hardened and his face warped into a mask of icy neutrality. He ripped his hands away from your face and out of your grasp. And stepped back. He addressed the droid from where it waited.

“Sedate her immediately and place her in the tank for treatment.”

You sat up, the movement too quick and causing your head to spin. You still called out to him regardless.

“Kylo,  _ wait _ . We made a promise to be open! You can’t expect me to open myself up to you while you keep me in the dark.  _ Kylo, WAIT GODDAMMIT. _ ”

The doors closed behind him, and you felt a needle puncture your arm. You glared at the med droid who’d injected you with the sedative. Your vision went blurry, and a cold hard appendage caught your head as you fell back towards the examination table. You drifted in and out of consciousness as your clothes were removed and replaced by a compression suit. You also felt an oxygen respirator cover your mouth and nose, and then your body slip into a warm substance. The fluid’s warmth seeped into you, relaxing your body and taking away the pain that radiated all over. Your consciousness finally slipped away and you were enveloped in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies of the Thirst Order:
> 
> I love keeping you all fed with new content, whether it be fics, tiktoks, or tweets of our beautiful SW babes. And you return the favor with your support and love. 
> 
> You all are my favorites.
> 
> <3 Stevie


	10. Declarations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the bacta tank, and you realize Kylo Ren had done the exactly what he'd asked you not to do. He'd walked away and left you behind. And now you're awake and you have to deal with your feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter to wrap up this weekend of productivity before work sucks my soul out again. I am a mushy mess who was in her feels, and it's very easy to tell how I'm feeling about our boy Kylo. 
> 
> Hoping to get started on the next chapter in the next day or so, we'll see how I'm feeling after a Monday haha.
> 
> Mentions of the L word incoming!

Your consciousness returned slowly, first feeling in your toes and fingers, and the sensation of the warm bacta caressing your skin. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking rapidly against the slick fluid hitting their surface. Your eyes adjusted and focused to find only darkness. Panic bloomed in your chest before a panel opened and let light into the tank. You relaxed and looked around, taking in the room beyond. The medbay was empty save for the med droid, who was moving towards the tank to check your vitals. Your body felt slightly numb, the effects of the bacta blocking your pain receptors from recognizing any damage. Then came the memory of your last exchange with Kylo. Your chest constricted and a hollowness grew inside you. 

He had walked away from you.

He made the med droid sedate you so he could avoid the conversation you desperately needed to have. The question of his identity had been too much to address and he left you to recover alone. 

The tank began to empty into its filtration system, and as the fluid sank into the floor, you wished you could too. You found yourself sitting on the grate, and the tank lowered, allowing the droid to help you to your feet and remove the respirator. You were then wiped down and given a light shirt and thin trousers to change into. You changed, taking your time so you didn’t lose your balance and aggravate your still healing injuries. The droid led you to a bed and hooked you to an IV and another vitals monitor.

You laid there feeling dejected and alone. You didn’t know how much time had passed since you first came to the medbay. The chrono let you know it was late, after midnight in standard time. You still felt exhausted, so you asked that the lights be dimmed, the droid fulfilling your request. You closed your eyes, and let your thoughts race until sleep quieted your mind once again.

You dreamt of the fight in the courtyard. There was no light aside from the crackling red blade that swung down and the humming blue blade that swept up to meet it. You were stuck in place as the sabers got closer and closer to harming their wielders with each attack. You wanted to scream as the Jedi slashed at Kylo’s throat, missing him by centimeters, but no voice came from you, not even a whisper. It was like you were being held back by invisible hands, gripping your body and covering your mouth. It was stifling and you felt hot tears stream down your face. 

Suddenly, Kylo’s lightsaber impaled the Jedi. She fell to the ground, her last word whispered, but still audible to you. 

_ “Ben… “ _

More tears streamed down your face, but this time from relief.

He walked over to you in the darkness, his face dimly lit by the blade. You were still held fast, but you looked at him, relief at his safety evident on your face. He placed a hand on your cheek and caressed you. Your heart swelled.

And then a flash of crimson and the searing pain of the lightsaber entered your chest, through your ribs, right into your heart.

You gasped and whimpered.

_ “Ky--lo?” _

You woke with a start, your body wrenching hunching forward as your breath came out in labored pants.

You heard a sharp inhale.

Your head whipped to the side, where a figure sat to your right.

It was him. Kylo was sitting next to you, his body angled forward like he might have been moving towards you at your sudden awakening.

You looked at him with confused and wild eyes. You attempted to calm your breathing to no avail, and realized with a kind of horror that you were shaking. Out of residual fear from your dream, or anger at his sudden intrusion into your solitude, or perhaps a mixture of the two, you weren’t entirely sure. All you knew for certain is that you wanted him to leave you alone. If he felt like he could just leave you earlier, then he certainly had no right to come back without your permission first. 

Your rising anger made you tremble even harder as you gritted through your teeth at him:

“Get  _ the hell out.” _

He made no move to leave, his lower lip sucking in, and then that  _ damned eye twitch _ .

“Sellene, I-”

“I don’t care.  _ Get. Out. _ ”, you hissed, fighting back tears. You refused to cry over this man. You’d had enough of his brand of bullshit. 

He stood up, and walked over to the foot of the bed and took a seat there. You bared your teeth at him, fully ready to start screaming at him. Your fists clenched as you opened your mouth.

He reached down and took your hand.

“I was born Ben Solo”

The rage inside you extinguished at his sudden revelation. Your mouth opened and closed as your brows pinched together.

All you could muster was a pitiful, “What?”

“My mother is Leia Organa, and my father was Han Solo. I was born to two of the most well known Resistance fighters from the last war. I was named Ben, in honor of a man I never knew and given the surname of a man who was a coward for the majority of his life. I left that life behind after my own uncle,  _ Luke Skywalker _ , tried to kill me when I was his student.”

You felt concern leak into your features. Your hand closed around his empathetically. He had been looking down at your hand while he spoke, your reaction prompting him to look you in the eyes. You had never much paid attention to the politics of the New Republic when you were young. You had been too busy trying to survive as an orphan, but you vaguely recalled hearing about the son of the general turned Senator and the former smuggler. You could imagine how difficult it had been to be in the spotlight so often in such a family.

“Snoke had reached out to me when I was young. He was a companion in times I had no one. And then a mentor. He showed me that the dark side wasn’t to be feared like the Jedi feared it. It would lead to power unrivalled. When I found out that I was the grandson of Darth Vader, it wasn’t even from my own family. It was through the news. A senator had found out about my mother’s parentage and announced it to the whole senate at a hearing. The media took that info and it spread like wildfire. The dark side had already presented itself to me and I rejected it before that point. And then I understood why it was so desperate for me. I am the grandson of one of the most powerful darksiders, and it called to me like a siren song. 

“Snoke helped me control it rather than fear it. And when Luke saw that inside me, he struck. My parents had sent me away to this man who would rather kill me than try and help me. So I defended myself. I thought I killed him and I destroyed his temple. I killed his students and I found my way to Snoke, and he led me to the Knights. I became their master after defeating their original leader. And I took my rightful place in the First Order. And now I am the Supreme Leader of the Order.”

His face revealed so many emotions as he told you his story. Pain was the biggest one. He might not have let it fully show, but by now, you knew what that looked like on him. Furrowed brows, hunched shoulders, and clenched fists. He held your hand tightly in his own, almost painfully so.

You felt wetness on your cheeks. You raised your free hand to your face. You felt tears there. You were crying for him. Not because of him. But for him. You wanted to hate him. But now you knew what he’d been through. His family had abandoned him, one of them had tried to kill him. The world had been on his shoulders from a young age and no one bothered to try to help him as it crushed him and then crumbled around him. 

He looked at you and wiped at your cheek, brushing the tear streaks away. 

“I’m sorry, Sellene. If I’m not the one hurting you, then you’re still hurt because of me. I didn’t think about what could happen to you. I thought I could protect you, but I was wrong.”

He swallowed thickly, his own eyes suspiciously wet as he dropped his gaze away from you again.

“If… If you want out of this relationship, I under-”

You ripped your hand from his grip, and sat on your knees quickly, fury rushing through you. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled his face towards yours.

“Will you  _ shut up? _ I can’t stand to hear you talk like this.  _ I chose this. _ I knew the risks that came with being with you. And at this point, I’m sure the whole First Order knows something is going on since you  _ carried me off the battlefield yourself _ . Kylo, I don’t care about getting hurt. I’m a spy, it  _ happens _ . What I do care about is that you were the one who wanted us to be open with each other, and then walked away when you weren’t prepared to answer my question. If you had said you needed time, I would have understood. I told you not to push too hard, and you agreed. I would have granted you that same courtesy.”

You climbed onto his thighs, and put your hands into his long hair, and pulled lightly. He groaned quietly. You undid the collar of his tunic, exposing his muscular neck. You placed your lips against the flesh and sucked the spot hard. He shuddered as you marked his neck and shoulders with lovebites. You shoved your finger back in his hair and yanked his head hard. He hissed as you rose up on your knees to whisper in his ear:

_ “You’re mine.”  _

You nipped at his ear lobe and then drew your teeth down his neck. His hand grasped your waist and gasped as you continued to mark him. You pushed him down onto the bed and pinned his hands under your knees, and pulled off his gloves. You sat down on his abdomen and removed his belt, tossing it and his lightsaber onto the chair he’d been in when you woke up. You opened the rest of his tunic and lifted his undershirt to uncover his broad chest. After You began sucking spots along his collarbones and down his torso, while he whimpered underneath you. You felt him spasm and you leaned back to see him watching you, gasping for air as the blood rushed from his head to his groin. You reached behind you to palm his stiffening cock, rubbing him through the fabric of his trousers. His hips thrust up to meet your hand and you grabbed him hard to push him back down. You grinned as he grimaced at the painful pressure you exerted on him.

“Getting a little too greedy there, darling. Stay still for a second.”, you purred at him.

You pulled the thin bottoms down your hips and shimmied out of them, and then followed up with the shirt. You balled them up and threw them on top of his belt on the chair. You could tell he was fighting the urge to run his hands along your body as you sat back down into his lap. You smiled as you realized you had been nearly inseparable since this mission started just a few days ago. Your feelings for each other were strengthening and the bond was too. You weren’t sure how you’d felt him in the courtyard, but you did. Perhaps it was something from his being such a strong Force wielder. You didn’t bother to think too much on it and you grabbed his hands and put them on your body.

You nodded your permission to touch you, and he sat up, groping and feeling every inch of your body, like he was committing it to memory. You rested your hands behind his head, and he leaned forward to kiss your neck. You tilted your head back to allow him access to your throat and closed your eyes. He tasted you as you hummed in satisfaction, and you raked your hands through his hair, mussing it up. You drew your hand under his chin and lifted his mouth to yours, sweeping your tongue into his mouth and dragging it across his teeth. His tongue met your’s and twisted around it. You kissed like this until you had to breathe, you both panting as you separated. 

You grabbed one of his hands that had been cupping your ass while you had been making out and pulled it to your slick cunt. You pressed his fingers into your entrance, and he slipped two digits in you, his long fingers reaching up to the bundle of nerves that made you clench on him. He began to pump them into you, and your legs twitched, you breath quickening. His thumb began to circle to circle your clit and you captured his mouth again with your own. You gripped one of his thick shoulders, tangled the other hand into his hair. 

You loved that you could grip his hair like that, being able to pull his hair was definitely one of your favorite ways of teasing him and making his scalp burn and tingle. 

You growled as you took his lip between your teeth, pulling the flesh and soothing it with your tongue. He pulled away to take a breath, and you felt his fingers pulled out of you. You gasped at the loss but watched as he put the wet digits into his mouth, and sucked them clean. Your mouth flooded at the sight. You gave him a look that had him pulling his tunic and undershirt off in no time, and you pulled at his pants to get him inside of you quickly. He helped you pull them down to his ankles, stopped by his boots from being completely removed. He grabbed your hips as you positioned yourself over him, and directed his cock into you. You pressed yourself onto him, sheathing him down to the base. Your head fell back and a moan escaped your lips. He followed suit, and you both sat there for a moment adjusting to each other’s bodies. 

His grip on your hips tightened as you started to move, your hips gyrating up and down the length of his hard shaft. You put your hands over his as he bucked his hips into yours, the pace quickening into a frenzy. You began to drool as he started to hit that sweet spot inside of you repeatedly. You dragged your nails up his arms, and scratched his shoulders and chest. Not as hard at the last time, but enough to leave angry red welts on his pale chest and torso. You slid your hands back up his chest, and wrapped your hands around his throat. You squoze his throat tight enough to make him cough a little as you rode him. His face began to turn a little red from the disruption of air and from exertion. 

Your rhythm became erratic as you felt yourself grow closer to your climax. You loosened your grip on Kylo’s throat after he placed a hand on your wrist and he gagged. He gasped for breath and his face turned a normal color, and then looked at you as he regained his composure. 

Suddenly you were flung onto your back and he was on top of you. He grinned at the surprised expression on your face. He leaned down and kissed you, and your eyes closed as you moaned into his mouth. He angled himself back at your entrance and inserted himself back into you. You moaned again, and he thrust into you at a tortuously slow pace and whined against his lips.

“Kylo,  _ please.  _ Don’t tease me. I  _ need you to fuck me.  _ I’m so close.” 

He lifted your legs against his torso and rolled his hips into you. You groaned at this new angle, and he held your legs against him as he picked up the pace again. His hips snapped into yours and you wrapped your hands into the sheets, crying out as he fucked you into oblivion. 

Your mind started to go blank as your body tensed, ready to explode from the pleasure. Kylo grunted as he hit the deepest part of you over and over, intent on dragging your orgasm out of you in the most intense way. He leaned down, your legs bending down towards you, your muscles crying out in protest from the sudden position change. And even then, he seemed to reach a new depth inside of you. 

You pulled the bed cover over to your mouth to bite down on as stars exploded across your vision. You muffled the scream that tore through your throat. Your body began to shake, the pleasure lighting up your nervous system, and you felt like you could float away. Kylo continued to pound into you through the shockwaves of your orgasm, and then he stilled as he found his own. He groaned your name through his teeth and began to empty himself inside of you. 

Your legs were still shaking as you came down from your climax and you felt droplets of his sweat drip onto you. His hair was plastered across his forehead and cheeks, his chest heaving as he recovered from the aftershocks. You wiped his hair away from his face. He looked down at you and slowly lowered your legs from the angle he had held them in and removed his spent cock from inside you. You lamented the loss of the full feeling he gave you when he was inside of you.

You felt like you were glowing, your affection for him was at a peak. You felt your cheeks turn bright red, as you uttered your true feelings for him.

“I… I love you, Kylo.”

His eyes widened at your declaration. He pulled you up and into his arms, pressing his forehead to yours. 

“... I love you too.” He smiled tentatively. “Thank you. For accepting me.”

You pressed your lips to his in a soft kiss. This was something you’d never done. And surprisingly, it felt right. It felt like belonging. You felt like you belonged to him. And he belonged to you. And you laughed against his mouth as you realized you’d done something you’d never thought possible. You were feeling love for another person.

You’d heard the Force worked in mysterious ways, but you were beginning to believe it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 You know who this section is dedicated to <3
> 
> Hey Ladies~


	11. Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get some interesting info out Kreek. And Kylo gets some interesting info about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HAPPENED. MY HAND SLIPPED AND THEIR SWITCH SIDES CAME OUT. So enjoy some role reversal with Dom Kylo, and bratty sub Reader. This chapter turned out pretty long. I had a rough time in my personal life between the last chapter and today, so I was taking a break and writer's block was def not helping. But I'm back and ready to jump right back in. The story is really starting to take a more solid shape in my head and I can't wait for y'all to see it.
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for your support, and while I make no promises, I am trying to get at least one chapter done a week, if not more. So look forward to that and enjoy!!
> 
> (Chapter includes some dirty talk and use of the words slut and whore, just a heads up.)

You laid there on the medbay bed while you watched Kylo redress and smooth the wrinkles out his tunic and trousers. He went over to the chair where your discarded clothes lay on top of his belt and saber. He put on the belt, and made sure the saber was secure.

“Wait, come here.”, you instructed.

He walked over to the edge of the bed as you rolled over onto your stomach, and back into a kneeling position and faced him, your bum resting on your heels. He quirked an eyebrow at you questioningly.

“Can I see your lightsaber? If it’s not too much trouble.”, you asked politely.

His other eyebrow rose to meet its twin, his forehead wrinkling in surprise. He unclipped it from his belt and held it towards you. You gingerly took it into your hands, mildly shocked at it’s heft. You turned it around in your hands, taking in the minor details, noting where he had fixed it from the damage it had sustained when he had first ignited the transformed blade that had caused the need for the vents that made his cross guard. You held it, emitter up and vents away from you before you ignited the scarlet blade. Immediately you felt the heat of the light and marveled at the screaming of the unstable power that caused the hilt to vibrate. You sat there in awe as you took in the glory of Kylo’s magnificent weapon. It was a perfect representation of himself. It was large and not easy to control unless you knew what you were doing. The light was blinding and hot, but the power that thrummed from within was reassuring and made you feel unstoppable.

You looked at him as you remained holding the saber. He looked at you with some concern, but amusement and pride shone in his eyes too. You weren’t afraid of the blade, just like you weren’t afraid of him. You switched the blade off and handed it back to him, and he replaced it on his hip. You scooted over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace before kissing him warmly. You drew your lips away and looked into his eyes as they opened, smiling at the emotions you watched swirl around in their depths. There was a contentedness in him and some hint of relief as he realized you had chosen him. That you were really there with him and in love with him. The tenderness made you wrinkle your nose teasingly and pull away to arms length.

“Alright, that’s enough of that. What did I miss while I was out?”

He chuckled and tossed your clothes at you. You caught them and began pulling them on as he recounted how he and the Knights had made their way to the outpost after they had requested the air and ground support, summoning part of the navy. As they had made their landing, Vicrul came running up with Kreek with some resistance fighters tailing him. He brought the Rodian on board and locked him in one of the holding cells and then joined Kylo and the Knights as they began fighting their way through the rebel fighters. They had been outnumbered at first, but they quickly broke through the line and began to work their way into the outpost as the First Order ships arrived with the TIEs and troopers to begin their assault. Kylo had sensed Rey and followed her Force signature until he had found the two of you. 

The First Order pushed the resistance into a retreat and seized control of Black Spire, taking it as a base as they began searching for the remaining rebels. While not a huge gain for commerce and trade, the capture of the outpost did give the order a much needed foothold in the Outer Rim territories as they began to expand their control on the galaxy. 

And you had successfully captured Kreek. He was currently being questioned in an interrogation room by Ushar. You might have been grievously injured, but at least you had successfully completed your mission objective. And sooner that you had projected, for that matter. And now you were headed to Felucia. It would take a few days even through use of the hyperlanes. You would have to travel to the otherside of the galaxy, and you would have to navigate through airspace that wasn’t yet controlled by the First Order. 

Not that you hadn’t already done that, but now the Resistance was on alert and you had to be careful, especially since it was highly likely the Night Buzzard would be recognized now. This definitely complicated matters, but you were sure it wouldn’t be impossible. You’d been in far more dire situations, with a lot less tech and manpower. Now all you had to do was get to Felucia first.

You stood up, and nearly fell back onto the bed, your equilibrium off. Kylo went to help you, but you put a hand up, embarrassment threatening to stain your cheeks. 

“I’m fine, just give me a moment. Just a headrush.”

You hated that standing up presented a challenge, especially after you’d done more exerting activities just minutes ago. You took a breath and rose slowly, and managed to stay upright, if not a little wobbly. 

Kylo watched you, concern still a ghost on his face. You nodded at him, and you began to walk out of the medbay. You made a good show of walking with an air of confidence, but at a slow pace in case your body decided being upright was no longer an option. 

Kylo stayed by your side, if not a tad bit behind you, to likely catch you if you stumbled. You scowled at no one in particular, still feeling embarrassed that you were being coddled so. But underneath your ego and pride, you felt a small amount of warmth at his worrying over you. 

You made your way back to your rooms, eager to change out of the medbay clothes, when you passed Vicrul in the common area. He was wearing his mask again and looking at a report projecting from the holotable. You were about to greet him when Kylo pressed a hand to the small of your back and led you through the room into the corridor leading to your rooms. 

You looked at him to tell him to stop when you saw the silent fury on his face. He didn’t look down at you, and continued your path to the suite. His pace slowed again as you made it through the room, but his palm remained splayed against your back, his fingers slightly pressing into your skin. 

You were wondering what possibly could have garnered that reaction from just seeing the knight when you found yourself in front of your door and then being led gently into your room. You walked to your closet and pulled a set of underwear out of the drawers and grabbed an outfit. You walked to the bed and placed the clothes on the bed while you stripped out of the thin clothes. Kylo had been standing by the door while you retrieved your outfit, his hands clenching and unclenching from the anger that still hadn’t abated. You had gotten your bra and panties on and were about to pull on a soft black dress when you noticed his behavior.

You sighed and walked over to him. You grabbed his hands, stopping his clenching and made him look at you. He clenched his jaw instead. You pursed your lips in annoyance and gripped his face, pulling his face down to yours. 

“What’s wrong? What else happened? You didn’t even let me thank Vicrul for completing the mission.”

He tried to look down, and you weren’t having any of it. 

_ “Kylo.”,  _ you said warningly.

He winced as you pinched his face to emphasize your point. Something changed in his eyes and you felt some of the tension leave his shoulder as he acquiesced. You released his face and he licked his lips before he began.

“He disobeyed my direct orders. I told him to protect you, and he didn’t. When he came back without you, I would have killed him if I hadn’t felt that you were with the scavenger. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him after I got back to the ship with you. But I was… too worried about you. I dealt with him after…”

He paused, his demeanor becoming a bit hesitant and tense. You cocked your head in question and signal to finish his explanation.

“... After our fight in the medbay. When you were put in the tank.”

“Ah.”, you replied.

“I can’t see him right now without the urge to kill him, or at least the urge to beat him within an inch of his life, taking over. I could have lost you. And the thought of that possibility is almost too much to bear.”

He caressed the side of your face, the soft leather of his glove featherlight against your skin. You felt your arms ripple in gooseflesh. You stood there for a moment, your thoughts of his words racing through your head as your heart pounded.

Then one of the things he relayed to you stuck out to you suddenly.

“What did you mean you ‘felt’ me with the scavenger?”, you asked slowly.

He tensed up, his hand stopping it’s stroking of your face. The hand closed into a slight fist before it slipped down to your neck, cradling the bottom of your skull and back of your neck.

His thumb brushed your jaw as he looked into your eyes, emotions battling in their depths once again. He seemed to be struggling to find words to convey what he wanted to say next.

“She and I… have a connection. Through the Force. I don’t understand why, and I don’t think she does either. For a few months now, we’ve had instances where we can see each other. Almost as if the other has suddenly appeared in the area where we are. We can see each other, and hear each other. And… if we can get close enough to the other… touch them.”

Your eyes grew large and your brow creased. You felt confusion and something more acrid and bitter. Betrayal. You tried to step back, but his grip became more firm on your neck, and his other hand grasped your wrist. You knew it was irrational to feel hurt by this admission, but it still stung nonetheless. 

“Have you…”

It was your turn to struggle to collect your thoughts into words.

“She’s nothing. This connection, it’s nothing personal. She is my enemy, and this connection, while inconvenient in the worst times, has begun to prove useful for me. And our relationship is one of mortal foes. I will destroy her, and then I will destroy the rest of the Resistance and their futile efforts.”

He bent down, his eyes meeting yours once again and searching them for the answer to some unasked question. He needed you, you could feel it. You felt the pain recede, and belief in his words grow. You nodded, the unspoken agreement passing between you. 

You felt guilt start to gnaw at your stomach. You realized you weren’t giving him enough credit, and you were still being too guarded. He’d done as he’d promised, he’d told you about his past, and was being honest with you. He’d been alone for so long, his position and power isolating him from birth, and even after becoming the Supreme Leader. He had needed someone and he had reached out to you. And you’d told him you would try. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but now you saw the cracks inside him, and how much of a balm you were for the pain those cracks caused. 

You reached up to his face, his hand still on your one wrist. You cupped his face and sighed. 

“We’ve hurt each other enough, and you’ve apologized for it enough. It’s only right I step up and do the same.”

You let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry, Kylo. I’m doing the exact thing I was mad at you for. I… I want to take this seriously. I didn’t before, even when I told you I would try. You deserve better, and I think it’s high time I give you that. If you need something, I will do my best to give it to you. Assistance, answers…”

Your voice dropped low, “ _ A friend. _ I want to be what you need. And I’ve said it before, I’m not good at emotions, but you’ve proven that it’s worth a try.”

Kylo’s face gave the barest hint of pain as you said this. You knew he’d been through some terrible things, but the depth was only just becoming apparent. Your heart constricted in sympathy, knowing he was so unused to someone genuinely caring about him. You never knew your parents, so the fact that his own parents had emotionally abandoned him at the first signs of darkness in his heart made you angry. You couldn’t stomach the thought of Kylo feeling so lost while his parents played at being heroes, even after the war. 

_ “Kylo” _ , you whispered.  _ “I promise to never leave you.” _

His eyes grew wet, the emotions beginning to bubble over inside. He fought the tears as he gathered you up in his arms. His hands pulling your legs around his hips, he carried you over to the bed, and laid you in it. He kicked off his boots and removed his padded tunic before crawling into the bed with you. You felt his exhaustion roll off of him in waves. You pulled his head against your chest and buried your fingers into his hair, stroking his head as his relief at your promise battled against his deep rooted loneliness and sorrow. His arms wrapped around your bare waist, and you pulled a sheet over your entangled bodies.

You laid there, comforting him until you felt his breathing even out. You blinked back tears of your own, feeling hungover from the emotional intimacy you’d provided. You and he had both lived lives where you had to hide your true feelings from everyone for so long. You had developed the need to control your surroundings as much as you could, to foster a sense of security, no matter how tenuous.

And then you’d found each other through it all. Someone else with an almost shared experience. You were grappling with this connection that made you feel so unsteady, and you reached for each other subconsciously, even if it led to a place you couldn’t begin to imagine.

But you realized that it didn’t matter where it led. You could brave the unknown if it was with him.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

###  Two Days Later

You were sitting in the interrogation room, looking at Kreek, cuts and bruises littering his face as he lay strapped against the rack. You almost felt bad for him, almost being the key word. It wasn’t necessarily his fault you had been injured, but you were still a bit sore and it didn’t help your disposition towards him. Ushar had done the bulk of the work, extracting the location and details of the outpost, and other pertinent information from him. But you had one last question for him.

“Where did you learn of this outpost in the first place?”, you asked.

“The memory is a little foggy. Please, if I could just have some water, I’m so parched.”

You sighed but grabbed the water you had brought in for yourself. You held it up to his mouth, slowly letting the liquid dribble in. After slaking his thirst, he pulled back and nodded.

“I was on Nar Shadda and I overheard two men in the back of a bar talking about it. They spoke of untold treasures to be found inside, beyond the traps that protected them. Kyber crystals, weapon caches, artifacts, and who knew what all else.”

He paused, looking out of breath. 

“What did they look like? The men.”, you pressed.

“Ah, um… it was dark in the bar, they were wearing dark clothing. Actually I think they were wearing cloaks. With the hoods up, so I couldn’t see their faces.”

You sighed out of exasperation.

“Fine, continue.”

“They said it was built during the days of the Clone Wars, when the Republic and the Jedi Order had gained a foothold on Felucia during the fight against the Separatists and their droid armies. After the execution of the Jedi and the rise of the Empire, the outpost was forgotten, left to rot in the jungle. One of the men said it had recently been found by some archaeologist, and many had tried to breach it’s wall, but none have been successful. I figured it would probably take someone Force sensitive to open the doors and navigate the interior traps. That’s why I had been travelling around and talking about it. I was trying to see if there were any who were hiding their abilities so they weren’t executed by Ren and his knights. I was unsuccessful to say the least. I was keen to drop my endeavors and begin my new business plans when you found me.”

You smirked as you retorted, “Yes, well, if you hadn’t loosened your lips so much, you might have escaped with your life. Unfortunately for you, I was one of those who overheard your drunken ramblings one night in your visit to that cantina on Lothal. I would ask if you had mentioned its location to anyone else besides us, but I’m afraid you’re just too much of a liability to let you stay alive. And I’m sure you would lie through your teeth to save your skin even if you did remember if you had or hadn’t. Plus the Knights are still itching for more fun after the battle at Black Spire. They weren’t allowed to play with their prey, only kill. So don’t die too quickly, for their sake.”

You got up as you smiled cruelly. Kreek began to beg for mercy as you went to a comm panel.

“Alright men,  _ he’s all yours _ .”, you said into the comm.

“ _ NO PLEASE, PLEASE, I WON’T SAY ANYTHING! I SWEAR IT, I- _ ”

His pleas turned into screams of terror as the door slid open and the knights slunk in while you made your exit. The doors closed, muffling the horrific sounds. You walked toward the back of the ship, and stopped in front of Kylo’s door. It opened a moment later and you stepped in the dim room. He sat at his desk, going over reports and paperwork that had begun to stack up during the mission. You headed to his bed and sat down on it, toeing your boots off before pulling your legs up and laying back down on the covers. The past couple of nights had been spent in his room. You had insisted it was because his bed was bigger and allowed for more room to play. He didn’t need to know it was because you loved luxuriating in his scent, the smell of smoke and leather soaking into your clothes and hair.

“Did you get what you were looking for?”, he asked without looking away from his work.

“I’m not entirely sure. He said he overheard the intel from a couple of patrons at a bar, on Nar Shadda. He described them as wearing dark cloaks. Which is oddly nondescript compared to all the details he had eavesdropped from their conversation.”, you answered, stretching your joints on the black bedspread, inhaling the heady smell that lingered there.

“Do you think he was lying?”, he murmured.

“No. But I’m beginning to wonder if this is all a setup. A trap. But for who?”, you mused.

Kylo turned at that, a thoughtful expression on his face. He stood from the desk and walked over to you, taking a seat next to you on the bed. He reached over and began playing with a lock of your hair, twirling the strands absentmindedly while he pondered your statement. 

You had both started to exhibit more signs of affection to each other in the past couple of days, starting off slightly awkward, but your comfort zones began to grow as your possessiveness did too. You kept these instances private, your relationship being something you both felt need not be shared beyond the Knights being deferential to you more than at the start of the mission. It was an unspoken thing, this newfound place of respect you held within this hierarchy. You weren’t sure how it would translate when you rejoined the First Order navy after the mission was completed, but you were content to leave that worry for the future. For now, you found the two of you exploring the boundaries of your relationship and each other to be the best way to pass the time it was taking to get to Felucia. 

Well that and training with Kylo and the Knights. They had demolished the walls that had separated a few of the cells in the containment area of the ship and turned it into a sparring ring and target practice area. You had now seen all of the knights sans their armor and helmets now. Their bodies were honed to be just as lethal of a weapon as their respective weapons. They were experts in hand to hand combat and experienced marksmen. You had considered yourself quite skilled in these fields before you sat in on one session, now you could see how they had been chosen for the ranks of the elite warriors in the first place. They were frighteningly quick, their attacks too close for comfort as they sparred, the fights being no punches pulled. Often they would land softer blows that would result in a bruise or cut, but the ones that could seriously maim or injured were narrowly avoided. 

And then there was Kylo. You recalled his fight with Rey, the dance of their sabers colliding, the fight was almost graceful. Here, he fought like a vicious animal. His attacks were precise and brutal, landing hits more often than not, even when the warriors worked together to come at him from every angle. He sparred with a training blade, likely to avoid the accidental dismemberment or death of one of the men in his bloodlust. It made you feel lightheaded seeing him let go of his control and let the dark side augment his abilities and raw power. 

Even now just remembering the sparring match he’d had this morning with all the Knights, minus Kuruk, made your body warm at the thoughts of the ferocity he fought with. You shuddered at the thought of his turning that energy on you.

His hand stilled its movement in your hair. You looked at him, and saw his lips parted, his breaths coming out shallow. His pupils were blown wide and his eyes flicked to your mouth.

“I heard that.”, he said in a dark and quiet voice.

Your thighs squeezed together.

“Wh-what?”

“Your thoughts about me. I’ve never been able to hear them before, your walls have always been too guarded. But I heard them this time. It was like… like you said in my ear.”

He shifted closer to you. Your skin erupted into goosebumps as his face hovered above yours, his breath tickling your face. Your thoughts betrayed you again when you imagined him on top of you, your throat in his hand. 

He shivered as the image apparently had been received loud and clear. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he realized you wanted him to dominate you for once. His hands flew to your wrists, pulling them above your head and pinning them there with one large fist. He climbed on top of your hips, his weight settling on you, pinning you even further. His free hand stroked down your head and along your face, settling on your neck. He squeezed lightly, his thumb, fore finger, and middle finger applying pressure on the sides of your windpipe.

You gasped and arched underneath him. It had been so long since you’d let someone be in control. But you trusted him, and that made this all the more arousing. You squirmed as he began to kiss your jawline, the stimulation making your legs rub together, desperate for friction. You felt his hand leave your wrists but they still held in place by an unseen force. He began to massage your breast through your shirt and thin bra. 

You felt yourself turn to putty in his expert hands. He knew exactly where you wanted to be touched, but teased you instead. He pulled your sweater up and took your covered nipple into his mouth, his saliva soaking through the fabric, and warming the stiff peak. You watched him tease you and you threw your head back and panted. Your eyes screwed shut as you felt the waves of your arousal start to rise. He gripped your jaw and pulled your face back to him.

“Oh no, I want you to watch everything I do to you. I am going to  _ thoroughly _ debase you.”, said, biting gently on your nipple to emphasize his point.

Your hips jerked at the sensation. He chuckled as he moved to your other breast. You bit your lower lip and moaned while he brought you closer and closer to your climax, just from stimulating your nipples. His roughness mixed pain in with your pleasure and you couldn’t get enough of it. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you felt pride that he had learned so much from you. This earned another throaty laugh from Kylo and he dragged his tongue down the side of your breast and down your sternum to your belly button as he slid himself off your hips and was above you on all fours. You squirmed even more as he tickled you with his tongue. He held your waist to still you so he could continue his teasing. 

“ _ Hold still _ .”, he growled.

This triggered a response that you would soon regret.

“ _ Make me _ .”, you replied back breathily.

He sat up immediately, taking your pleasure away. You keened and tried to move back into contact with him, but he pulled away. He smiled wickedly at you.

“Only good girls get rewarded. If you’re going to be a brat, then I’m going to treat you like one.”

You made a desperate face at him.

“Ask nicely, and I’ll give you what you want.”

You fought against his Force-hold your wrists. He continued to smile at you and after a minute of trying, you settled back against the pillows fuming, your frustration at needing to be touched overriding your desire to irritate him. 

You put on a pleading face as you begged, “Please,  _ sir _ , don’t stop. I’ll behave, I promise. Please, just, make me feel  _ good _ .”

You saw his desire take over before he grabbed the waistband of your leggings and underwear and pulled them off in one swift movement. You cried out from the sudden action and immediately he pulled your thighs apart, his mouth finding the soft inside of one and sucking lovebites into it. Your calves fell onto his shoulders as his mouth moved to your now dripping cunt. He lapped at your folds, and stuck his tongue into your entrance, making you twitch and buck your hips. You shouted as he built you back up to your peak, his pace quick and brutally efficient. All too quickly, you came hard and screamed his name. You felt your consciousness settle back into your body, your bones having turned into jelly from the exquisite pleasure he wrought upon you.

Kylo lapped your cum from your cunt as you twitched and panted from your orgasm. You felt like your body was humming and he rose back onto his knees, his mouth slick with your juices. He licked his lips before he leaned back over your face to kiss you, his tongue opening your mouth to let you taste yourself on him. You moaned into his mouth, and wished your hands were free so you could wind your fingers into his hair and pull him even closer.

The invisible grip on your wrist vanished and you took that chance to grab his hair and latch your legs around his waist. He groaned and sat back, his hands cupping your ass to support you while you made out. You felt his erection tenting his pants against your crotch, and your hips slid against it, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Someone. Is-ugh. Eager.”, he ground out between kisses.

“Please sir, I need your cock inside me.  _ Please _ .”, you pleaded, pulling your mouths apart so you could kiss your way to his neck, making him understand how bad you needed him.

He untangled your legs from around him and threw you back down onto the bed. He kneeled over you, one knee between your thighs. He wrenched your sweater from your arms, and then your bralette. You went to help him pull off his own clothes but your wrists were once again pinned next to your head. He removed his tunic and undershirt slowly, his teasing resuming, and your frustration making you whine.

“ _ Kyloooo, pleaaaase. I can’t, mm, I can’t take this much longer. _ ”

“You can, and you  _ will _ .”, he growled back at you.

He was working at his trouser’s zipper now, the slow zipping sound driving you wild. You managed to move your body down enough to grind yourself against his knee, rubbing your swollen clit against him, the sensation helping you find some small amount of relief. He scooted his knee back and smacked your hip. You yelped, the place of impact breaking out in more goosebumps from the sting.

“And the brat is back out. Stars, you certainly are a greedy little slut, aren’t you?”

His dirty talk made your mind go blank, and you twisted around, desperate for relief.

“ _ Nnnnnnnn, Daddy please. I’ll do anything, just fuck me already, please!! I need you to fuck my pussy until I scream and even after I beg you to stop. Use me however you want, I just want you to make me cum on your thick cock. PLEASEEE! _ ”

You were surprised by the words that came out of your mouth, especially when you called him Daddy, but you were so fucking desperate.

It made something snap in Kylo though, because before you realized what had happened you were suddenly face down, with your ass up in the air and stuffed full of Kylo’s deliciously thick cock. He began pounding into you relentlessly, his hips smacking your ass with every thrust. You came within seconds, his barrage making your body shake and scream into the sheets. 

Your vision was still filled with stars as Kylo slapped you across your ass, his cock still mercilessly thrusting into you. You felt tears prick your eyes as you clenched around him. You bit the sheets below you, and wound your hands into them, trying to cling to anything as you felt your soul seemingly leave your body. His hands grasped your waist as he used them to slam you against him to meet his own powerful thrusts.

“You want to be a daddy’s girl huh? You want me to- _ nnnhh _ -fuck your cunt, you little whore?”, Kylo grunted as his hips snapped viciously. His stamina was incredible, your mind still blurred around the edges from your second orgasm but you could feel a third one coming on the horizon.

He leaned down to your ear, his voice laced with passion and a dark undercurrent of possessiveness that made you gasp and moan, and said, “ _ You belong to me, and I will kill anyone who stands in my way to you. I will be the only one to ever fuck you ever again, got it? I will never let anyone touch you or hurt you without your permission.” _

Drool leaked out of your mouth and your eyes rolled back into your head, his promise just as effective as his fucking you to make you lose your mind. But you still managed to nod and make a noise of acknowledgement and agreement. Satisfied with your answer, he grabbed a fistful of your hair, and pulled your head up so you would get onto your hands. Now that you couldn’t muffle yourself with the sheets, your lewd moans and panting filled the room, mingling with his own.

This only served to push Kylo towards his orgasm quicker, and he began to rub your clit with his thumb, seeking to draw your third orgasm out of you before he came too. It didn’t take long before you fisted the sheets, your sweat and drool dripping onto the bedspread as your body shook with the intense climax that made your lower half go numb. You shouted and cursed, your mind too far gone to recognize you were falling back against the bed until you felt the soft material on your cheek. You did feel when Kylo pulled out of you and flipped you onto your back. He moved towards your head until he was kneeling above you, his hand fisted around his thick shaft, pumping furiously, and your mind connected the dots through your orgasm induced haze. 

You lifted yourself onto your elbows, and stuck out your tongue, mouth open wide to catch Kylo’s load. He grit teeth and grunted as he came, shooting ropes of it into your waiting mouth and face. He panted as he came down from his high. He watched as you swallowed his load, and swiped the rest from your face into your mouth, sucking your fingers clean. He bent down and kissed you hard, and pulled your lip between his teeth, worrying it before releasing it and saying in a raspy voice, “I love you.”

You felt your face flush as you said it return, still feeling surprise at the ease at which you both said it. You watched him as he lay next to you and you rested back down on the pillows. 

“We should be making planetfall on Felucia tomorrow at 0900 hours. That gives us 15 hours until then. What shall we do in the meantime?”, you said.

“Give me a little while and I’ll be ready for a few things I have in mind.”, he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. 

“I’m intrigued, but also very worried about what you could have possibly come up with in that terrible mind of yours. But first, I think we should get something to eat, I’m starved.”

“That doesn’t sound as entertaining, but I don’t want you passing out on me from hunger. Sounds like a plan.”, he begrudgingly agreed.

“Kylo, you might be the death of me yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday Jess! I hope this is a good present <3
> 
> Thirst Order ladies? I love youuuu <3
> 
> -Stevie


	12. Fighting for Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo gets a treat for giving us a treat. And we decide we wanna learn how to fight with a sword. It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one! But I really like this one, and couldn't bear to split it. Anyways, more knights content, with more involved Knights of Ren content to be explored soon <3 Can't wait to write that soon hehhehe.

You walked into the Night Buzzard’s galley with Kylo behind you, both of you feeling refreshed after cleaning up and dressing in fresh clothes. The table was already occupied by Vicrul and Ap’lek, their conversation halted as you entered, their attention focused on their master and you. Kylo nodded at them, walking around you to access the conservator. Vicrul’s face still bore the marks of his punishment, apparently having been barred from healing them with bacta. If he was in any pain, he had done well to conceal it. Especially during the sparring matches he’d partook in since Batuu. He caught your gaze, his eyes set like steel, and nodded at you. You returned the gesture to him, and to Ap’lek as well. Kylo walked out with your plates and took his place at the head of the table. You sat down next to him, and you began your meal.

After a few quiet minutes, Kylo turned his attention to his men. 

“When we arrive, I need you both and the others to secure a perimeter around the outpost. (Y/n) has led me to believe this could be a trap. I want to make sure there are no unwelcome surprises awaiting us.”, he instructed.

“Yes, Master Ren.”, they replied in unison.

You spoke up as well, “Kreek told me about two cloaked figures being the ones he got the information from. He said he overheard it, but I suspect they planned for someone to eavesdrop or possibly even planting the information by some means into his mind. The only problem is if this is a trap, I’m not entirely sure who it was meant for. We must be prepared for anything.”

They nodded and you resumed your respective meals. Ap’lek and Vicrul finished their food before you and left you two alone.

“I think it might be best if you stayed with the ship tomorrow, or at least until we can secure the area. You’ve been endangered more than enough on this mission.”, Kylo said quietly after the door had closed behind them. 

You placed your elbow on the table and rested your chin on your fist, giving him a sidelong look, weighing your next words carefully.

“I understand your concern, Kylo, but my whole job has been endangering myself for the cause. This is nothing new to me. If you’re that worried about me, then you should realize the safest place for me if by your side. I’m loath to admit it, but I am out of my depth with this Force business. But that isn’t going to stop me from completing this mission with you. You want me to be safe? Then you better make sure to throw yourself in the way of any harm you see headed my way, alright?”, you said that last part with a shit eating grin.

He rolled his eyes at you and groaned.

“Fine, at least this time I’ll have the Knights there to look after you too.”, he retorted.

You might not be in the bedroom any more, but it seemed your bratty attitude followed you out.

“Speaking of them, I was thinking it would be fun to play with them too. Do you think they would be up for a group session? Or are you afraid of sharing?”, you asked, your tongue sticking between your teeth.

Kylo froze, his head turning to you slowly. His nostrils flared as he tried to come up with a response.

You took his turn and started reciting your little fantasy you’d concocted when you had watched him with them earlier, the same sparring match that had incited your desire to be dominated by Kylo earlier.

“Yeah I’m imaging me on my hands and knees as they gang up on me, using me as a plaything. But you’re overseeing it all, telling them what to do to me, and just fucking my holes until they’re satisfied. Or, you tell them to listen to me and  _ I  _ have  _ my _ way with them. We both know I’m game for topping or bottoming. I think it would be good for group morale anyway-”

You had been enjoying watching him try to control his emotions, his mouth opening and closing to try and get a word in, but you kept going to stop him from interrupting until you felt an invisible hand grip your throat enough to shut you up. You shot him a dirty look for the cheap move.

His eye twitched as he fought to not lose his cool and he pinched his brow with his fingers and shut his eyes tightly. You thought you might have gone too far before he opened his eyes and leveled you with an intense gaze.

“Is this something you’ve seriously considered? Or is this just you teasing me?”

Your mouth formed an O. The pressure on your neck dissipated, allowing you the ability to speak again.

“Would you agree to it if I said yes, I want to do something like this?”

“I told you I wouldn’t allow anyone to touch you without your permission. This goes the other way too. If you want this, I will try and be…  _ accommodating _ . I can’t speak for them all on whether or not they’d be interested, but…  _ fine. _ As long as I am part of this. At the end of the day, you are mine, and I am yours. Is this a satisfactory compromise?”

You grinned and nodded. 

“You really do spoil me. Now,  _ lock the doors. _ This next part is for you only.”

His hand shot up immediately and activated the door’s locking mechanism with the Force. 

You got up from your seat and sauntered over to him, putting the heel of your boot on the edge of his seat between his thighs. You pushed your foot to indicate you wanted him to scoot his seat back, and he did so with apparent enthusiasm. You kneeled down between his thighs and began rubbing his half hard cock through his trousers. He watched you though half lidded eyes, his mouth slightly ajar. You licked the length of his erection through the fabric and you felt a gloved hand loosely grip your shoulder. 

“It’s a good thing you wear black, huh? Anything lighter and they would see the mess I’m making of your trousers.”, you teased, continuing to lick his growing bulge.

His groaning set your body on fire, and you took pity on him, eager to taste his cock. You eased his zipper down and pulled him free from his underwear. He was so swollen and flushed already, and your mouth watered in anticipation. You dragged a fingertip from the base of his shaft and up the head. It twitched in response and his hips bucked, his body already so sensitive and desperate.

“Mmmmm poor baby, look at what I reduce you to. A quivering, aching mess, desperate for my touch. Do you want me to help you? Do you want me to suck your cock? Do you want to come for me baby?”, you crooned while you teased him with featherlight touches on his shaft and balls. He was gasping and his face had a slight sheen from growing perspiration.

“P-please, please touch my cock. I need you to make me cum. I need to feel your mouth on me.  _ Please _ .”, he whispered with some difficulty.

“Mmmm such a polite boy. You asked so nicely.” 

You held his cock against your cheek close to your mouth as you said this, and kissed the side of his shaft, the image stimulating him even further. You smiled as his face flushed, the color even reaching the tops of his ears poking through his hair. You felt a wave of pride and appreciation knowing you were the only one who got to see these reactions from him. A rush of possessiveness laced itself into these emotions as well, and you felt your core tighten.

You gave him a hungry look before you took him into your mouth, your jaw stretching to accommodate his impressive girth. You hollowed your cheeks as you sucked the head of his cock to the back of your throat. His hands were immediately in your hair, the strands pulled taught between his fingers. He grunted as you took him deep, holding him there and humming until you had to pull off to take a breath. 

“ _ KRIFF, (Y/N)! _ ”, he hissed as you took a breath before getting right back to work.

You spat on his cock and pumped his length, lubricating him while you flicked your tongue over the tip, tasting his salty precum. You hummed in appreciation before putting your mouth back onto him, savoring the taste of his silken hardness. You looked up at him, your head bobbing up and down, to gauge his reaction to your blowing him.

His eyes were screwed closed, and sweat lined his brow and upper lip. A look of concentration gracing his handsome face. You hummed again, the vibrations from your vocal cords arousing him even further. He began to mutter quiet words of encouragement, his mind fully in the throes of pleasure. You could feel his cock starting to twitch, signaling his orgasm wasn’t too far off now. You slipped a hand under your dress and into your panties to rub your clit. Watching him come undone was making you so incredibly wet. 

His eyes snapped open as he felt you pleasuring yourself, and his pupils were so large, his eyes seemed nearly black. You groaned as you felt your pleasure spike in reaction, your fingers quickening their pace as you quickened your pace on his cock as well. His self control all but flying out the airlock when he grabbed your head with one hand and started to fuck your face, his other hand making a gesture you couldn’t quite see from your peripherals, tears beginning to blur your vision from his merciless thrusting into your throat. Suddenly you realized what his other hand was doing when you felt an invisible pair of fingers rubbing circles around your clit. You removed your own hand to brace it on his thigh, and massaged his balls with the other.

You started to gag a little, his massive cock hitting the back of your throat enough for your gag reflex to start to react. You fought the urge to cough as drool streamed down your chin. And then he stilled, his length sheathed entirely in you as his climax hit. You felt his hot cum spill down your throat, and you relaxed as much as you could as your body tried to fight for breath. He groaned and paused his stimulation of your clit as he rode out his orgasm. He was quick to resume the action though, and pulled out of your mouth. You closed your mouth quickly to prevent any of his cum from escaping. You swallowed and rubbed your jaw, soreness already becoming apparent from it’s overstretching. 

Abruptly you felt yourself being lifted onto the table, your legs being spread and placed on a broad set of shoulders. Your panties were moved to the side quickly and a tongue entered your folds, lapping at your werness. You cried out from the sudden intrusion, your thighs closing around Kylo’s head, and your ankles hooking together behind his neck. It was your time to fist your hands into his hair, whining and panting as he drew your orgasm from you quickly. It only took a couple minutes before you hunched over and shuddered through your climax. Your hips were still canting against Kylo’s mouth, his tongue slowing its movements as you relaxed your legs from their grip of his head. 

Your eyes had shut at some point before cumming, and you found it hard to try and open them. You moaned as Kylo dragged his tongue over your cunt and clit in one last sweep before he rose to level his face with yours. 

You finally managed to open your eyes and mirrored his satisfied smile.

“How do we manage to make each other cum like this? I’ve  _ never _ experienced anything like this before.”, you mused.

He gave you a small peck on the lips and another on the forehead before stepping back to put himself back into his trousers and smooth his ruffled hair. 

“Well I’d say it’s because this being your expertise, but I’m glad I can return the favor at least.”, he replied with a proud smirk. 

You hopped off the table and smoothed out your own appearance. You looked back at the mess you had made, plates and glasses pushed out of the way, left over food and drink strewn on the table.

“Uh, there isn’t a service droid around I haven’t noticed around is there?”, you asked sheepishly.

Kylo chuckled. 

“No, any that might have been on this ship before the knights commandeered it have likely been sold or used for target practice. I’m afraid this is our mess to clean.”

You groaned in annoyance but set about clearing the disorder. It didn’t take very long, but it was still tedious. 

“What shall we do now?”, a dark voice whispered in your ear. He had managed to sneak up behind you, and the low rumble of his voice against the shell of your ear gave you goosebumps.

You paused for a moment, thinking about what you should do to pass the time. The meal and following sex had killed about a standard hour and a half, and you were going to attempt to get at least a solid eight hours of sleep before whatever tomorrow’s expedition held for you. You still had a few hours before you planned on retiring for the night. A brilliant idea came into your head.

“Teach me how to fight with a blade. I know how to fight with small blades. I mean like a sword.”

A look of surprise crossed his features before one of mild exasperation replaced it. 

“You know you’re not getting a lightsaber right?”

You pursed your lips and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Why? Because I’m not Force sensitive?”, you asked sarcastically.

“Partially, they’re very unwieldy if you don’t have the Force to help stabilize the kyber energy. But mostly because I don’t want you to accidentally cut off a limb. Yours or someone else’s.”

“And that wouldn’t happen with a vibrosword?”, you retorted, clucking your tongue.

He leveled you with a look to indicate that this conversation was over. You huffed and rolled your eyes, and headed towards the door. You heard a sigh behind you.

“Go get changed.”

You smiled as you walked out the door.

“Meet you in 10 minutes.”, you threw over your shoulder.

_ “For kriff’s sake.” _ , you heard him curse to himself.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

You circled the sparring ring, training sword raised, your body covered in sweat. You were panting from exertion and irritation. Kylo was facing you, moving opposite of you. His pale torso and face also glistened with perspiration, but he wasn’t nearly as exhausted as you. Your bare arms and waist had the beginnings of bruises from where he had smacked you with his own training sword. He held back enough to make sure you wouldn’t have any broken bones or sprains, but your body was still sore enough to begin to impede your reaction time and movement. You should have called it a night on your training an hour ago, but your pride was all that you had right now, and you were determined to land at least one hit on him.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t feeling very charitable and gave you no handicap aside from not totally demolishing you in combat. He had given you a fairly detailed lesson on basic form, explaining the best hand placement and footwork for different combat forms and described the seven forms of lightsaber combat. Though he was still insistent that these were only going to be utilized by you with a standard blade,  _ if  _ you found a sword that you liked in the first place. You rolled your eyes, but thought to yourself that you would keep your eyes peeled for any of the laser swords in the outpost when you got there.

In another part of your brain that wasn’t focused on bringing Kylo down a peg, you were admiring his toned chest and arms. Seeing as how it was just the two of you sparring, and it being with the intention of training a neophyte when it came to swordplay, he had removed his tunic and undershirt, keeping on only his gloves, trousers, and boots. You had watched as he had twisted around to dodge your attacks, his muscles working as he moved, parrying your strikes and returning the blows back to you. His scars and freckles appeared even more prominent in the light of the glow panels in the room, and you remembered when you had traced them all with your tongue. 

Your mind had been hazy with desire when you first began, but when he started to hit you when you didn’t manage to block his attacks, that turned into a frenzied state desperate to win. You had glared at him and barred your teeth, pissed he was being so merciless.

“Pain is instructive.”, he’d said, his tone laced with mild amusement. “I thought you of all people would know that. Snoke taught me that”

“It’s instructive when it’s mixed with pleasure, I learned that from my own experience.”, you’d hissed back.

You were seething to yourself when you spotted an opening. You took your chance and lunged for him. Too late, you realized your mistake when he feinted to the left and when you went to block, he came at you from the right, the broad side of his wooden blade smacking into your back, knocking you to your knees. You caught yourself with your hands and screeched in indignation.

“That’s  _ it _ , I’m done.” You shot a glare at him, and stood, but your back twinged and you fell hard back onto one knee.

He winced at the thud from the impact. You bit your lip to stop a cry that tried to escape your throat. He drew your abandoned weapon to himself and then floated it and his own to the rack where they were stored. He walked over to you and held out a hand. You scowled at him and tried to ignore his offer, and tried to get up again. Your body wasn’t having it, and you groaned. 

Kylo sighed and knelt down, reaching to gather you in his arms.

“I don’t think so. Turn around.”, you snapped.

Exasperated, he did as you commanded. His back to you, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and pulled yourself onto his wide back. He rose up a bit and grabbed your thighs, pushing you further up, and supporting you there.

“What are you? A child? Who asks to be carried piggyback like this?”, he jabbed.

You snorted and tightened your arms around his neck to pull his head back to you.

“Well gee, if you hadn’t been so  _ rough _ , I wouldn’t need to be carried, would I? Let me tell you this, I might like giving it and receiving it rough, but  _ only _ in the bedroom. Alright,  _ master _ ?”, you spat the last word at him, your words dripping with sarcasm and venom.

He hefted you up to get a better grip on you, but the movement jostled your back and you hissed in pain.

“ _ Kriff,  _ easy down there,  _ please! _ ”

He mumbled an apology and began to walk you to your quarters.

The walk was silent, your mood soured by the pain and frustration of your training and then exhaustion began to sneak in, making your body feel even more leaden.

“I’m sorry for going too hard on you. I’m not sure I’m the best teacher.”, he said, finally breaking the terse silence.

Your anger deflated slightly, his sincerity and self depreciation catching you off guard. You sighed and rested your chin on the top of his head. You felt his surprise at the sudden affection. 

“You didn’t have the best teachers to help you either. Skywalker tried to kill you, and the more you tell me about Snoke, the more I don’t think I particularly would have liked him. He seems like he was a mean old bastard.”

You heard him try and stifle a snort.

“You don’t know the half of it. But without him, I wouldn’t be where I am now. He showed me the power of the darkside and how to control it. How to utilize my emotions to augment my power.”

He paused, lost in thought for a few moments, before he began speaking again. 

“If he hadn’t pushed my limits, I wouldn’t have ever survived as long as I have. I lacked the self-control and discipline that defined the Jedi teachings, my emotions proving too volatile for my parents or Skywalker to manage. The dark side is a part of my nature, my grandfather being one of the most powerful darksiders to ever exist, and they tried to cover it up, too fearful to acknowledge how useful it is. And when they saw it growing in me, they cast me aside. Snoke had been a secret teacher to me long before I had even met him. He nurtured my affinity for the dark and took me in when Luke tried to kill me. He gave me my knights, and showed me just how powerful I could be. The pain he inflicted on me was part of my training. To harness it and let it fuel my power was part of the ultimate test.”

As he spoke of his past and deceased master, you’d made it back to his room, the door sliding open to give you passage inside. The glow panels activated with your entry and he gently deposited you on the mattress.

You felt conflicted as you absorbed his story. While it was true that he had become the most powerful man in the galaxy, the path that had led him to this place was wrought with agony and suffering. Happiness had been scarce, and the sorrow and pain was likely festering under that confident and cool demeanor. And he was still fighting himself deep inside. He had said himself. You didn’t dare say it, but you had a feeling that inner conflict was from the light still trying to pull him back from the dark. 

That was why he had sought you out in the first place, you realized slowly. Pain was instructive. You could give him the pain he desired, though it was intertwined with pleasure, which he hadn’t understood how intimate it could prove to be. And then you had both developed feelings for one another. You had become a balm to his battered soul. Deep down, he needed someone to care for him, regardless of the side he was on. 

But what side did your relationship pull him to? You would have assumed the carnal relationship this had started out as would be the one that would have called to his dark nature. So wouldn’t the affection and softer side call to the cracks of light that pierced through the darkness? 

You hadn’t realized how long you’d been sitting there mulling over this all until you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. You whipped your head up, your gaze meeting Kylo’s own. You saw concern swimming in those amber depths and you felt a shock of worry that he had overheard your thoughts. 

“If you’d like, you can lie on your stomach and I’ll apply some bacta to your back?”

You exhaled a small sigh of relief, your anxiety quickly dissipating. You nodded and kicked your shoes off. You pulled your legs onto the bed before rolling onto your stomach, allowing him unhindered access to your bruised torso. You were glad you had been wearing a cropped compression top for your training so he could immediately rub the gel into your bruises. As the warm gel permeated your soreness and soothed it, you rested your head onto your arms, humming in appreciation.

“Mmmmm, might have to make massages a regular thing. Those hands are surprisingly good at doing something other than destroying property and people.”, you said, your words slightly slurred from your exhaustion and your cheek pressing into your intertwined fingers.

“I think you forgot how well they make you cum too.”, he replied smoothly.

“...Fair point.”, you conceded, reminded of his fingering you just the other night until you had screamed his name.

He continued his ministrations until he’d covered all the visible bruises on your arms and back. You were half asleep when he began pulling at the waistband of your leggings. You made a small noise of protest as the sudden jostling. 

“I’m just trying to get to the ones on your legs. Come on, lift your hips.”, he instructed quietly.

You did as you were bid, his hands gently pulling your bottoms off, cool air caressing your bare legs and panty clad bum. He worked more bacta into the newly exposed contusions, and pressed a couple of knuckles into the arch of your foot, massaging them a little to relieve some of the taut muscles. 

You were practically purring, his kneading of your aching muscles pushing you further into complete relaxation. He kissed the soles of your feet and you felt the tension drop from your body. Your consciousness began to waver, your breathing slowing down as sleep drew nearer.

You dimly recognized the feeling of a blanket being pulled over your immobile body and the pressing of lips to your temple. You felt a flush of warmth and affection overtake what little awareness you had left before you slipped into unconsciousness.

You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep for before you woke up briefly in darkness, your body settling back down into slumber when you felt the reassuring warmth of a large solid form against your back. An arm was draped on your waist, encircled around you lightly. When you stirred a little, the arm pulled you closer until you felt the rising and falling of Kylo’s chest. His face nuzzled into your neck and one long leg was hooked around one of your own. You settled against him and fell back asleep quickly, the position leaving you feeling safe and content.

You dreamt of light and dark, the forces not fighting, but meeting in the middle. They joined and intertwined, mixing instead of clashing. There was balance, not conflict. Peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Ladies~ 
> 
> You asked, and you shall receive <3
> 
> -Stevie


	13. You Don't Owe Anyone Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tell Kylo about your childhood, and he makes you feel safe. You've finally made it to Felucia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter starts with smut pretty quickly, but dives into plot right after. I'm already starting on the next chapter since I left off on a cliffhanger. But the ideas are coming out quickly, so I'm hoping to release the next chapter by the end of the weekend if not sooner! I'm really enjoying where the story is going so far, and I love writing these action bits so much. I still don't have a concrete idea of how many chapters this story is going to be, but I feel like we've only just begun to dip our toes into it, so I'm hoping the creative flow keeps up and I can make this story as grand as I fantasize about.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy chapter 13, and look forward to the next one <3
> 
> -Stevie

You woke up slowly, your consciousness slowly pulling itself from the sweet heaviness of sleep. You smiled as you felt Kylo’s breath on your neck, your head resting on his bicep. His other arm was still resting on your abdomen. He stirred a little as you gently rolled over onto your side to face him. You watched him while he slept and thought about how beautiful he was. His features were so unique and while the scar might seem savage to others, you felt it served to enhance his handsomeness. You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his jawline, so incredibly gentle so to avoid waking him if you could. You slowly pulled back watching to see if he stirred again.

He didn’t, and you settled back into his arms. You saw his line of his mouth soften and his body relaxed. You thought again about how lucky you were, that you saw so many sides of him that no one knew existed. But then anxiety struck, making your heart constrict. You wanted to believe this would last, despite some dark part of you that had grown inside you when you were young and had to fend for yourself. You closed your eyes as you tried to push those feelings back deep inside of yourself, tears stinging in the corners of your eyes.

_He promised he wouldn’t leave. He won’t._

“I won’t.”

You opened your eyes, the tears falling over the bridge of your nose and down the side of your face, onto his arm.

He pulled you to his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. His large hand found it’s way into your hair, the other gripping your waist. You began to cry harder, your tears soaking the freckled flesh that concealed your face. Despite your emotional vulnerability he made you feel, he also made you feel safe. You felt him kiss the top of your head, and mumble soothing words into your hair.

You both lied in the bed like that for a while until your tears slowed. You sniffled and wiped your face of the salty tracks that covered your face.

“What time is it?”, you asked in a low voice, your vocal cords strained from your sobbing.

He peeked his head over yours to look at the chrono on the nightstand.

He plopped back down and pulled you close again.

“A little after 0700 hours. We don’t need to rush.”, he finally replied, his voice low and gravelly.

You felt tears well up again, his concern evident in his words and actions.

You pressed your face into his neck again, taking in a deep inhale of his scent, trying to steady yourself. You hated yourself for your insecurity and your apparent need for reassurance.

“You’re thinking too loud. I’m here.”, he said nuzzling into your hair.

You couldn’t suppress the small smile that spread on your face. You pulled your face back a bit, so you could talk.

“I grew up an orphan in Coronet City. I never knew my parents. They had died when I was just an infant. The orphanage was near the Santhe Shipyard, but you were lucky if you managed to last long enough to come of age to get any work there. Most kids ended up running away and getting into the local crime syndicates. I was one of them. For all the New Republic’s promises, Corellia was just as bad as it was before and during the Empire’s rule. Crime was overlooked and corruption still ran rampant in the leadership. I learned early on that I could only trust myself. I couldn’t afford to depend on anyone else, not when they were just as desperate to survive as I was. People tried to get close, but I held them at arm’s length and dropped them as soon as they weren’t useful to me anymore.”

Shame made your cheeks flush. You had done what had been best for you. But that didn’t stop you from feeling terrible.

“I was younger than most when I started to sell myself. I had thought about trying to join a pleasure house, but beyond a place to sleep and eat, I wasn’t keen about owing anyone else again. I managed

“... Life wasn’t easy for you. I don’t think anyone could begrudge you that. I certainly don’t.”, he said quietly.

You felt relief flood your veins. You had never told anyone about your past. It might have been on record about you growing up an orphan on the ship building core world, but you were sure it didn’t include how you’d managed to survive on your own. But even if it had, he didn’t care.

“The past is in the past. It might have led us to where we are now, but all that matters is where we end up in the future. You don’t owe anyone anything. You are where you are today because of yourself. And that’s all the matters.”, he told you, a fierce note in his otherwise quiet voice.

You tilted your head up to him to look him in his eyes. You pulled your arms from where they had been placed on his chest and put them on either side of his face. You kissed him, your lips pressing lightly against his, your noses brushing together softly.

“You don’t owe anyone anything either Kylo.”

You searched his eyes, the emotions swirling around inside indecipherable. You kissed him more urgently this time. Desperate hands pulled you tighter to him, one slipping into your hair, holding you in place as he slanted his mouth against yours, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. You hitched a leg over his hip, pulling his groin flush against your own. You moaned into his mouth and snaked your hands into his hair, tugging the black locks until he groaned in return.

His knee slid up into the apex of your thighs, the resulting friction making you shudder. You nipped at his lip, worrying the kiss swollen flesh with your teeth. You ground yourself on his knee. You felt as if you were trying to absorb each other into yourselves, the need for closeness overwhelming. You quickly pushed him by his shoulders and rolled him onto his back, and straddled his hips, continuing to rub yourself on his crotch, building the tension quickly.

You were still in the panties and compression shirt you had fallen asleep in, and the thin soft material of your underwear was almost like wearing nothing. He was hard under his own sleeping pants, and you could feel it as your clit rubbed on his cock, your panties starting to soak through.

You sat up to remove your clothing quickly before moving to his own, pulling his bottoms down, releasing his erection. You gave it a few tentative strokes before directing him to your entrance. You slowly sunk down onto him, relishing in the feeling of being stretched out. His hands gripped your hips, his head flung back onto the pillows while he hissed at the tight wet heat that enveloped him. He throbbed inside you, and you bit your lip as you adjusted to him. You rose up after a moment and slowly sank back down. Your breathing grew heavy as you set a slow pace, circling your hips as you rode him. You felt every inch as you fucked him, savoring how deep he could reach.

You were intent on making this last as long as you could. You had been used to utilizing kinks and foreplay to stretch out sessions before with him before a hard rough fucking to finally attain pleasure, but this was entirely different. You had read about this type of sex before, it being used long ago by some spiritualists as a form of meditation, but it was so focused on intimacy with your partner, you had brushed it off. But now you were someone you cared about, and you had to give in to your curiosity.

His hands had made their way onto your hips, and your pulled them up to cup your breasts, eager to have him play with them while you focused on maintaining your breathing and steady pace. He happily complied, groping them and teasing you nipples. You leaned forward, resting your hands on the headboard, and giving his mouth easy access to your throat and chest.

He quickly caught one nipple between his teeth, gingerly biting it. The sensation sent a jolt to your core, you clenched around him. His hips bucked in response, a whine escaping your lips.

You were both breathing heavily and your bodies were slick with sweat. You had been doing so well keeping your pace steady, but Kylo’s impatience won out as his hands began wandering around your body, groping and teasing you, making you squirm. You finally caught his hands and held them to the side of his head, but he intertwined your fingers with his, and held you there. He bucked his hips into you, hitting the deepest part of you, and you gasped.

You were bouncing on him while he held your hands, his body forcing you up with each thrust, impaling you over and over, your already over sensitized body being pushed to the edge quickly. Your core tightened like a spring, ready for the explosion that threatened to overtake your senses. You leaned down and kissed him hard, your mouths fighting as he thrust one last time as he came, his cum filling you, and your body went rigid before your own climax had you twitching on top of him.

You relaxed on top of him, still kissing him languorously while you both basked in the afterglow of your orgasms. Eventually, he pulled away, though not without some effort on his part. You would have both been content to lay like that for a while, but you needed to shower and get ready for planetfall and the expedition that was fast approaching.

You rolled off of him, your body protesting the sudden movement, and then got off the bed to head to the refresher. He followed you in, and turned on the shower for you both while you got fresh towels for you afterwards. You realized how in sync you’d become, mindlessly assisting each other without prompting. You weren’t sure if this was how good relationships worked, but you secretly hoped so. Your confidence in your bond was growing with every moment you’d shared with him after you’d admitted your feelings for each other.

After the shower had properly heated up and the glass walls had been fogged up by the steam, you both entered and took turns under the deliciously hot water. Some wicked ideas came into your head while you watched him under the stream of water, and you cataloged them away for a later time. You’d used too up too much of the time before the mission with your morning sex and the showers would have to be quick.

You thought you saw a ghost of a smile on his lips while you fantasized about those ideas, but it was gone before you could really see. He stepped back and brushed his wet hair back with his hands to ring out the water before you stepped in to take his place, grabbing the shampoo bottle to wash your hair quickly. He grabbed it from your hands while you protested.

“Turn back around.”, he said

You huffed but did as you were told.

You felt his large hands work the shampoo into your hair and scalp. You bit your lip while he massaged your head and giggled a bit.

“I’m not a child you know.”, you said, voice warm with mirth.

He only hummed in response. He finished with the shampoo and you stepped back into the water to rinse it before he followed it with the conditioner. As you waited a couple minutes for the conditioner to set, you watched him step out of the shower and dry his hair with his towel. After assuring his hair wasn’t sopping wet anymore, he wiped the rest of his powerful frame down before wrapping the towel around his hips. You saw a few stray droplets of water fall from his hair onto his shoulders and journey down his torso and his abdomen before being absorbed by the towel. Your mouth watered as you eyed the dips of his hips and the trail of hair that started under his navel and dipped below that damned towel.

Snapping out of your lust fueled haze, you turned the shower’s water temp control to as cold as it would go and grit your teeth before dunking your head under the icy stream. You needed to focus, and _quickly_.

Finishing your shower quickly, you hastily grabbed your towel and roughly dried yourself off before heading quickly to your room to get dressed and prepped. You didn’t bother to see if Kylo had picked up on your arousal and subsequent retreat to hide said arousal. You were no better than some horny teenager. He was irresistible and you were having a hard time trying to keep your hands to yourself. Not that he would likely mind. But you were determined to see this mission to completion. You were nearly at the end and there was no room for error now. You silently gathered your focus and resolve while you dressed. After pulling on your outfit, a simple one comprised of dark grey leggings and a black shirt with a grey utility vest and boots, you grabbed your blaster and holstered it onto your hip in your belt. You sheathed a couple vibroblades in the pockets of your leggings and another in a concealed pocket of your vest.

After completing a once over of your weapons and other gear, you headed back into the ‘fresher to plait your hair into a braid that hugged your skull, with nary a loose hair out of place. Satisfied with yourself, you headed to Kylo’s room.

The door opened as you walked up to it and you saw him inside, clipping his lightsaber to his belt. He looked up at you and you both appraised each other. He was wearing his standard armor and leathers. No surprise there.

“I’m starting to wonder if we’re influencing you with all this black.”, he said.

“Well it is part of my job to blend in with my surroundings.”, you shot back with a smirk. “Shall we?”

You led the way to the bridge, Kylo right on your heels. You walked up in time to see the Night Buzzard coming out of hyperspace, the starlines turning back into separate luminous white specks. In the distance, Felucia loomed, verdant and beckoning.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

Perspiration lined your brow and upper lip, and more dripped down your neck and back. Towering flora shaded your path from the hot sun, but the humidity was so overbearing on it’s own that you had been nearly soaking wet from sweating almost 10 minutes into your travels to the hidden outpost. Even the breeze generated from your riding the speeder bikes did little to cool you down. You felt sympathy for Kylo and the knights in their heavy black layers.

Kylo and you had stayed behind on the ship while the others had gone ahead to secure the perimeter per their master’s command. You were mildly anxious about the possibility of the dangers that lurked ahead but your curiosity of what was to be found inside the old outpost won out.

After the Knights had commed back to you both that there were no enemy craft or agents to be found, you both set off to join them. Even with the speeders the journey had taken quite longer than you had anticipated. The giant fungi that densely populated the planet’s jungle made landing close to your destination harder, but you silently thanked the stars you hadn’t needed to make the trek on foot. You were behind Kylo again, but the ride didn’t feel nearly as bumpy as it had before. You wondered to yourself if it was because your trust in him had increased since then or if he might have been taking more precautions to keep the ride smoother for your sake, Maybe it was both.

You pulled your pack off your shoulder and retrieved your canteen to take a quick gulp of water. Slaking your thirst, you held the canteen under Kylo’s extended arm to offer him some. He took it and handed it back after taking a swig of his own. You replaced it back in your pack, and encircled his waist with your arms, squeezing a little tighter as you settled your cheek against his back. You closed your eyes and tried not to think about the heat and take in the sounds of the jungle.

You had been on some jungle planets in previous assignments, but you’d been in some form of civilization, rural or urban. The dense forests had been on the peripherals of the places and you’d rarely had to advance very far into the treeline to pursue your targets. So to be traveling so far into the heart of these lush jungle lands was definitely a different experience for you.

It was all beautiful in its own savage way. The colors were vibrant and intense, and the sounds of the animals and other creatures that dwelled in the underbrush and out of sight were exhilarating. You had seen pictures of the flora and fauna on your datapad, but to see it all in living color and not projected in the bluish tint of the holo was incredible. You knew there was danger to be found among all this beauty as well. Jungle rancors also inhabited the jungles, and you were not keen on meeting one during this mission.

Soon you felt the bike’s speed decline and you rose out of your seat to peek over Kylo’s broad shoulder. You spotted a large building overgrown with vines and other plants seeking to reclaim the space for the jungle approaching you. A few of the knights stood guard at the entrance, the others likely doing so at other locations surrounding the structure as well. The bike came to a halt next to the others and Kylo dismounted before offering you a hand to help you off as well. You took it and hopped down, your head swiveling to take in the surrounding area and the entrance. The door had the Jedi Order’s emblem engraved into it, the wings and lightsaber instantly identifiable. You also noticed markings lining the building’s entry point, the characters denoting a language unknown by yourself.

“Those markings, do you recognize them?”, you asked, looking back at Kylo.

“They come from the days of the High Republic. Their meaning was lost, but the Jedi Knights of the Old Republic used them to mark their gates and doorways as a protection against the dark. Too bad for them, it didn’t protect them from the Sith and the Emperor.”, he replied uneasily.

You moved closer to him. You could tell something was bothering him.

“Is something wrong?”, you whispered. Kylo Ren was not an easily perturbed person.

“Something feels wrong here. There is light here, but there is something hiding underneath. Something dark trying to hide.”, he said in a low voice. He walked up to the entrance, placing a gloved palm on one of the massive stones that made up the building. After a moment he removed his hand and drew his attention to his knights who were awaiting his instructions.

“Vicrul and Trudgen are to come with me and Sellene. The rest are to wait outside and monitor for any activity. Keep all commlinks open in case we need back up. Let’s go.”

You made your way to Kylo’s side before he stepped in front of you.

“Stay behind me. The others will guard you as well.”, he commanded.

They stepped up behind you, weapons drawn and on either side of you, all three of them flanking you to keep you safe. You might have been irritated if it weren’t for his sudden seriousness. And then you realized he must think you’re safest with him at this moment, because otherwise he would have likely sent you back with one of the knights if he thought it was better than being here. You swallowed thickly and unholstered you blaster.

He lifted a hand, visibly struggling to open the door with the Force. Finally after a moment it slid open and he urged you inside. You rushed in with your guards tailing you. After they had made it in, Kylo followed and let the heavy stone door fall back down with a loud cracking thud. You were immediately engulfed in darkness. The hallway filled with the shrill scream of the ignition of a lightsaber that bore an unstable kyber crystal. Crimson light illuminated your surroundings while the plasma crackled and cast long shadows from your forms.

You all turned to where the light ended further down the passageway. Kylo made his way back to the front of your party and began to cautiously walk down the hall. You all made to follow, wary of any noises or movement that didn’t come from you.

For the entirety of the trek down the passage, you all barely breathed, your footsteps soft and hushed. You were all on edge, your minds thinking of the possibilities of what traps and danger made for intruders like yourselves might await ahead, hidden in the darkness. But then you reached another door, this one seemingly thinner than the first. Kylo made quick work of it, this one staying open even after he retracted the Force from holding it up.

This was starting to seem too easy. You’d heard about this place being littered with defense mechanisms and traps, and yet you hadn’t encountered a single one. And then there was the matter of Kylo sensing something off about this place before even setting foot into the building proper.

It seemed the other shared in your concerns, their grips tightening on their weapons and drawing them closer to their bodies. You wondered if they felt something you didn’t, their attunement to the Force lending them heightened senses that you were beginning to seriously wish you had as well.

You all progressed into a wide room, so wide that even the light from Kylo’s saber couldn’t reach all of the corners. The shadows danced from the crackling beam and the effect ran a chill down your spine. The air felt stagnant and tense. Then you heard it.

Scratching on the stones all around you. It started off so quiet you thought you almost imagined it. But it quickly turned into a cacophonous droning that surrounded you. Kylo and the knights tightened in formation around you and you pointed your blaster to the ground, one finger on the trigger, ready to take aim as soon as the threat appeared.

A screech ran out as a giant arachnid body lunged at you all. You took aim and fired off several shots in succession at its head as the warriors took defense positions. The blaster bolts hit their marks, maiming several of the eyes, but not managing to take down the giant spider. Suddenly it was being pulled away from you, and towards an extended arm, it’s legs scrabbling to find purchase on the ground, but finding none before Kylo drove his blade into the creature's head. It screamed before it slumped to the ground.

“Wyyyschokk. Be on your guard.”, he spat, removing the saber from where it had been sheathed in the head of the overgrown bug.

“—Aren’t those native to Kashyyk?! What in the galaxy are they doing here?”, you exclaimed, your heart pounding.

It was Vicrul who spoke up this time, his modulated voice tight.

“I’m starting to believe Miss Sellene is right about this being a setup. No temple or outpost created by the Jedi would ever utilize any creature to guard their interior. And I highly doubt that they just found their way into such space as this without some help.”

Trudgen nodded in agreement. He hefted his blade to rest on his shoulders and walked to the opposite wall from the one you entered through. He motioned to the door he stood in front of.

“It would be best if we kept moving. This antechamber holds nothing of value to us. We might have warded off the others for now, but those bugs will strike again soon if we tarry too long.”

You paused before following them to the room. You removed your pack and quickly retrieved a small flashlight and some flares from inside. You stored the flares inside one of your pockets and affixed the light to your blaster. You switched it on and held your pistol in front of you. You had forgotten your light before but you were quickly reminded now that you needed to see as much as you could in the dark. The others might have the Force to help them sense the present danger, but this all just reinforced how much of a handicap you carried in the situation.

The four of you continued forward into the next hallway until you came to a three way fork. You sighed exasperatedly. You were starting to wish you _had_ stayed on the ship. Kylo exhaled through his nose as well, obviously none too keen on splitting up, but the way things were going, time was of the essence.

Between the Wyyyschokks, whatever was hiding inside the abandoned outpost, and the ever looming possibility that the rebels could have discovered the location of the outpost as well, you knew Kylo was desperate to find the vault that housed the holocron he was searching for.

Some unspoken agreement was made and the knights moved from their positions behind you. Vicrul and Trudgen took the center and rightmost path respectively, leaving you and Kylo to the left one.

As their footsteps moved further away from you, Kylo held his hand out to you. You took it. You knew he was worried about something trying to separate you. The energy had changed again, the space starting to take on a liminal feeling. An undercurrent of dark energy was sweeping out from the pathways, beckoning you further in. The air hung heavy around you, and not from the forest’s humidity.

You held your pistol in your right hand, your left hand firmly encased in his large gloved one. Your breaths were shallow, coming out in quiet bursts to try and head over the crackling hum of his lightsaber for any more scratching of pointed spider legs. As you progressed, your flashlight illuminated the beginnings of thick white webbing covering the corridor top to bottom, with the space that was free to walk through becoming smaller and smaller. Soon you came upon a solid wall of the web.

Without any other choice, Kylo slashed through it, the saber cutting through it easily. It fell apart and opened with each hit, some of it falling into your hair. You tried to pull it off, but then it just stuck to your hands. You gave up after your hand became tacky with the web. You curled a lip and rubbed it onto your vest eager to get it off. You looked over your shoulder to keep an eye out for any arachnids who might have tried to sneak up on you both. Seeing it was clear, you turned back around to see his progress. Finally the path was beginning to clear, revealing that the hallway was opening up into a cavernous room.

You stepped in and gasped. You had found the vault. But it was covered in more webbing, and even worse, dozens of egg sacks. They covered parts of the walls and floor. You shuddered in disgust. The artifacts and weapons had been mostly covered by the webbing, and you were not looking forward to having to recover them.

Refocusing, you looked at Kylo tilting your head in question.

“Look for the holocron first and foremost. I’ll comm the others to see if they’ve found anything else before they meet us here. Then we can start gathering the other items we can utilize.”

You nodded and began to look for the object in question. You knew it was in the shape of a cube, and that it was blue with bronze metalwork encasing it. It was small enough to fit one’s hand, the information it contained was only accessible by those who could wield the Force.

“If it can only be opened by someone Force sensitive, then I would surmise you should be able to sense it, or am I wrong?”, you asked while searching through the shelves and webbing.

“You’re correct. But something is concealing its presence. I’ve been reaching out with the Force, but it’s not reacting.”, he responded. “There really is something wrong with this place. Neither Trudgen or ---.”

He stopped suddenly.

“What is it?”

“Don’t. _Move._ ”, he said in a quiet but urgent voice.

You went stock still at his tone.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you felt a dark presence above you. You ever so slowly tilted your head up to look at what was suspended above you. Instantly, your blood turned to ice. The largest Wyyyschokk you’d ever seen was staring down at you, its pincers clacking together while a hiss came from its mouth. You tried to stop yourself from trembling but it was impossible.

You had the sudden realization that you were likely staring back at the queen, and you had disturbed her and her brood. Adrenaline coursed through your bloodstream as fear made your fight or flight instincts kick in. You whipped your pistol up at her pale head and began shooting as fast as your finger could pull the trigger, a feral shout erupting from your throat.

She screamed back as she dropped towards you, her legs all reaching towards you, eager to grab you where you stood.

You dropped to the ground and rolled away to get into a kneeling position to resume your barrage of shots. Kylo lept into action, swinging his blade at the queen, trying to slash at her legs. You kept firing at her eyes, knowing her body was likely more resistant than the vulnerable black orbs. If you couldn’t shoot her down, you could at least blind her while Kylo took her out with his lightsaber. Unfortunately she had quite a few more eyes than her offspring did, so even after taking out five of them, she was still more than able to see Kylo and evade his attacks.

He finally managed to cut off one of her back legs, the appendage longer than he was tall. It fell to the ground and she shrieked in outrage. She retaliated and shoved him down onto his back and pinned him. He tried to cut at the legs pinning him down, but she slammed his arm down, knocking the saber out of his grasp. It slid away and deactivated. He was left to defend himself and hold her pincers away from where they were snapping at his head. He attempted to telekinetically shove her off, but she was much too big, and his focus was solely on trying to keep his head in his shoulders. He growled as her mouth got closer and closer.

You ran forward, holstering your blaster before you grabbed the discarded saber. You hit the ignition and screamed as you ran full force with the blade’s tip aimed at her bulbous abdomen. You sank the blade inside of her, grunting as you pushed all the way until the hilt and crossguard were the only parts visible. She screamed, the noise so shrill, your eardrums began to hurt. You twisted the blade and pulled it towards her head, making you groan with the effort. Finally she toppled to the ground, her head falling on Kylo’s chest. He quickly shoved her carcass off and scrambled to his feet.

You stood there panting, the exertion taking its toll on you. You deactivated the saber, and dropped to your knees. He quickly came over to you, checking you for injuries.

You waved him off.

“I’m fine, just tired.”, you said breathlessly.

He exhaled in relief before taking the saber from you. He clipped it back to his belt.

“You rest while I look for the holocron. Don’t let your guard down too much though. I wouldn’t be surprised if the offspring come running soon. We need to make this quick.”

You watched him make his way around the room as quickly as he could, checking every shelf and nook while you caught your breath. You sat there, mind still running over what had just happened. You had saved him from near death, though you imagined he probably would have figured out a way to save himself if you hadn’t rushed in. But still, you’d wielded his lightsaber with more ease than you had expected. Something had burst out of you when you saw him in such a dangerous position. You had been scared for him. More than you had been for yourself when you had seen the Wyyyschokk first descend upon yourself.

Somewhere between your racing thoughts, you heard whispering voices call to you. You turned your head as the overlapping sounds snaked their way into your thoughts. You heard them in your head, the strange language they spoke in lulling you into standing and following them to an alcove hidden behind a large tapestry. You stepped into it and let the textile fall back into place, darkness obscuring your vision.

A hand clapped over your mouth and pulled you further into the black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roses are Red,
> 
> Bantha Milk is Blue,
> 
> Ladies of the Thirst Order,
> 
> I kriffing love you,
> 
> -Space Mom <3


	14. Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An enemy makes themselves known. As does the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot! And more plot!
> 
> But smut is going to be soooo delicious next chapter.
> 
> And boy and boy do I have IDEAS.
> 
> Going to be starting on it immediately tomorrow after work. Hopefully it won't take all week, but also don't want to rush it of course.
> 
> Enjoy the story progression for now!
> 
> -Stevie

You struggled against the hand covering your mouth, trying to scream, and began flailing your arms and legs wildly to try and shake them off. You quickly realized there was no one actually behind you, and you went still out of shock. Several other invisible hands clamped onto your body, and yanked you down the dark passage.

_ This can’t be happening _ , you thought to yourself.

You heard a dark chuckle in your head.

You suppressed a shudder and let the Force drag you to whoever was controlling it. There was no use fighting it now.

You could start to see the faint glow of a torch as you approached on the phantom wind that carried you. You slowed to a stop and your feet landed on the ground once you entered the dimly lit room. You were still being restrained by the Force, but you were able to see your surroundings at least. You looked around until your eyes landed on a cloaked figure standing off to the side, facing away from you. In front of them was a table with an ancient looking book open. Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

“I do apologize for the rough treatment, but I couldn’t risk young Solo catching on. You’re wondering why I’ve brought you here, yes? I’ll get straight to the point. You are interfering with some well laid plans that have been in place for almost as long as you’ve been alive. And we need you to disappear. You can either do so on your own, or,  _ we can just do it the easy way and I kill you now. _ Feel free to make your decision quickly.”, the figure croaked . 

You were unable to discern any defining details about this person threatening you, the black hooded cloak making it impossible to tell their age, gender, or what they looked like. You felt the pressure holding your mouth closed release. You exhaled with a huff of annoyance and glared at them. 

“And what reason could you give me to even begin to entertain this ridiculous notion. Who are you even? Some Sith wannabe?”, you spat back.

You knew it was a shot in the dark to try and get more information out of them and stall them while you tried to figure a way out of your current situation, but it was worth a try.

They laughed the same laugh you’d heard in your mind minutes before.

“Ah such mettle in you. To be young again. It matters not to you who I am under this hood, the only thing about me that should matter to you is that I will not hesitate to slit your throat and feed your fresh corpse to my pets. You might have killed the mother,  _ but I am their queen _ . Now,  _ make your choice. _ ”

Well that gave you something. An older woman was your captor, who was likely related to the Sith. She held some control over the Wyyyschokks and her plan likely had something to do with Kylo. Perhaps the holocron he searched for wasn’t even here, that being part of the trap set by this ridiculous crone. You wiggled your arms and legs to try and find some sort of weakness in her restraint of you. You barely moved under her crushing grasp. 

Faintly you felt some pull on your awareness, something off in the distance was calling to you. Something inside you reached out and called back to it. You felt the need to continue to try and stall.

“Why should I believe you won’t just kill me while I walk away? Or better yet, why haven’t you just killed me already if it were truly easier?”, you inquired as you felt that distant presence move towards you. 

Your airway constricted under an invisible hand, your breath stopping midway through. You coughed as your lungs spasmed at the lack of air. Your eyes went wide and you began struggling in earnest. 

“So eager to die? Then I’ll give you your wish, little spy. No secrets of mine will you take to the grave,  _ just perish _ .”, the crone rasped at you, a sneer in her voice. 

You winced and panicked as you started to see black spots in your vision, the lack of oxygen blurring your consciousness. You felt your body twitching and tense as it fought to stay awake. But your mind was starting to get hazy and you were just so tired. Exhaustion ate at you. Your brain traitorously thought about how easy it would be to just let go. 

But then the memory of this morning rose to the surface of your lingering consciousness. Kylo holding you as he reaffirmed his promise to you that he wouldn’t leave you. You clung to the memory like it was a lifeline, willing yourself to hold on just a little longer. You felt feeling come back into your limbs and you focused back on the woman. She flinched as your eyes refocused, confusion evident in the way she took a step back. Something inside of you lashed out, and she recoiled like she had been struck, and in her surprise, the grip on your throat and body loosened, you took in a lungful of air and pushed against your invisible bonds as your strength returned.

Your feet connected with the floor and you quickly pulled out one of your vibroblades and threw it at her head. She deflected it with a wave of her hand but it gave you enough time to lunge at her with your other blade in hand, aiming to strike her in the chest. She repelled you backwards again, but you were able to slash at her head, the blade slicing through the hood. The material fell apart and her face was revealed. She was humanoid, with thick lined black markings covering her face. Sith runes you guessed. She snarled at you, and your back collided with the wall as she telekinetically held you there, trying to recover from your attack. You laughed and smirked at her, smug that you were able to get so close to her.

“ _ Stupid child, you know not what you deal with. _ ”, she hissed at you. 

You spat at her feet.

“ _ I don’t care. _ ”, you retorted, irritation at a new high.

You tried to summon that strength inside yourself once again, trying to catch her off guard with whatever you had done to get her to let go of you. The feeling was much weaker though and you struggled to rally it as she began approaching you. You mentally lashed out at her and fought to free yourself. 

She laughed at you, her yellow teeth glinting in the light.

“Foolish thing, you really think you could wield the Force against me? You’ve just found it and you think you can overpower me. You are  _ nothing _ compared to me. You are-”

She stopped short when a scythe found its way around her neck.

“Release her.  _ Now. _ ”, a modulated voice said, the tone deathly serious.

You fell to your knees as the Force grip on you was retracted.

Vicrul stood behind her, ready to decapitate her the moment she made a wrong move. A gloved hand entered your peripheral as Trudgen appeared next to you, offering to help you up. You took it, letting him pull to your feet.

“Are you alright, Miss?”, he asked quietly.

“I am now that you’re here. Kylo?”, you asked after assuring him you were alright.

You felt a wave of dark rage enter the room before he did.

“I’m right here.”

He came in from the hallway you had been dragged through. His face was tight with cold fury. He walked up to the darkside and stared down his nose at her, his lip curled in a sneer. Quick as a Kodashi viper, his hand shot up and wrapped around her throat, and pulled her off the ground. Her fingers dug and scraped against his, trying to remove the crushing grip on her windpipe while she sputtered. He drew her face towards his.

“You are going to tell me who you are and who you work for right now, or I will not hesitate to break your neck with my own hands.  _ Understood? _ ”, he snarled, his voice promising terrible violence.

You felt no sympathy for the wicked bitch. You almost wouldn’t mind being the one wrap your hands around her neck and watch the light go out from her eyes. But that felt too lenient in all honesty. She had attacked you, but she was also the reason behind Kylo’s near death experience. She had to pay. You felt that something inside of you purr in agreement.

_ Wait, didn’t she say something about the Force and me? _

She looked at you and you heard something crunch. She smiled at you, her teeth stained by something black. 

She managed to choke out her final words before succumbing to the poison pill she had ingested.

“ _ Tave tsis valia buti pergalenas. Tu valia visa mrias. _ ”

Kylo released his hold on her, her body crumpling to the ground. You swore under your breath. His hand dropped back to his side, and his fists began to clench and unclench. His anger was rising, barely under control. His hand shot to his belt and he removed his lightsaber and ignited it. He began slashing at the walls and any object in sight. You ran over to the table and retrieved the tome that lay there. You had a feeling this would be very enlightening on discovering more about the enemy who’d accidentally revealed themselves to you.

Once Kylo had destroyed nearly everything in sight, including the table after you had slipped between the awaiting knights, he’d stood there, shoulders heaving from exertion. You looked at Vicrul, and handed him the book. He took it and gestured with his head to Trudgen that they should leave and give you two a moment. They made their exit quickly and swiftly while you waited for Kylo to turn towards you.

You stood there amongst the various items that were scorched and glowing with dim embers from Kylo’s outburst. When he didn’t deign to face you, you strode over to him and wrapped his torso in your arms. You laid your cheek against his back and you felt him tense from the embrace. 

You heard him turn off the saber, the plasma retreating into the hilt to slumber in the crystal until it would be summoned again. A click of the hilt being reattached to his belt clip, and then hands laying on top of yours. You could hear his heartbeat and his labored breaths, both slowing down as he took solace in your offered comfort. His chest heaved with one last shuddering sigh.

“I was so terrified of losing you again. You were just… gone. I panicked, I called out for you, and you didn’t answer. And I couldn’t feel you, that darkness concealed you from me. But then I could feel you, a flame in the dark. Flickering, but fighting to stay. And I reached out and you answered. Trudgen and Vicrul commed me, saying they had found each other, that they had been fighting off more of the spiders, so they couldn’t answer. But then they found a path that led them here and saw what was happening. And I found the tapestry and the hall-”

He was rambling and while you found his worry endearing, especially since this was the most you’d ever heard him speak, there were more pressing matters.

“I think I’m Force sensitive.”, you interjected quickly, stopping his babbling in its tracks.

“... _ What? _ ”, he blurted.

He turned around in your arms, looking down at you, his face a portrait of confusion.

You smiled, partially embarrassed over taking him by surprise.

“You said you could feel me, couldn’t you tell? When she had me in the air, strangling me, I somehow fought back. I hit her without even touching her. And during the scuffle she even said something about me using the Force against her.”, you confessed.

His eyes searched your face, settling on your eyes. You sucked in your lip, waiting for his response. 

You felt a light tug on your awareness, and you jumped slightly at the feeling. You tried to pull in return, feeling for something that felt like him. Your eyes widened when you felt a dark energy meet you where you grasped at. It was dark, but not in a scary way. It was more like the soft coolness of shadows rather than the sensory numbing blackness that sought to drown out all light.

Your breath caught at the sensation. It felt as if your world had widened just a little bit bigger, and he was in the space around you. He filled your consciousness and your heart swelled in your chest when you felt the emotions he was feeling. He had opened his mind for you, letting you in to feel his awe at your new discovery. You felt the tentative caution he was taking to not push too hard, but he was also in your head, letting your own thoughts and emotions mix with his. 

This was a whole new level of intimacy, and for a moment you felt a twinge of fear. His hands reached back to grasp yours and hold them between you.

“It’s okay… I feel it too.”

And you felt the anxiety he had in the moment too. It was one thing to open yourself to another person the way you had to each other in the past week, but now you were able to be in their head? It was so deeply personal and a little unnerving.

But you also felt his encouragement and reassurance that this wouldn’t be another way for you to hurt each other. This would be something you would explore slowly, and he would be there to guide you. 

You felt tears prick your eyes, and you closed your eyes to hold them back. He pulled you into an embrace of his own.

There was a shift in the room’s energy as you felt someone else enter. It was another kind of darkness, an undercurrent of violence and chaos swimming in it, promising pain and death. Kylo’s own energy changed to meet it. His became a roar of crackling rage and ferocity at the intrusion on your moment.

You peeked around his tense form to see who had dared interrupt. Vicrul stood there, scythe in one hand and the book in the other.

“Master, the others have commed to inform us that the Millenium Falcon was spotted flying overhead. What are your orders?”

Kylo’s arms tightened around you protectively. You felt a mild shudder run through you at the thought of coming face to face with the Jedi again. You wished you’d had your connection to the Force manifest sooner, just so you would have a more equal footing on the battlefield with her.

Kylo looked down at you, the corner of his mouth twitching up in amusement at your apparent resolve to beat her. He looked back at his Knight, his arms falling away from you, but staying close to your side. 

“Gather whatever you want from the vault, and set some charges. Let’s not give them the chance to gain anything.”, he commanded.

Vicrul nodded and left the room once again. You peered up at his face, trying to gauge his emotions, feeling for anything in that consuming energy that might give him away besides his fury.

“What are we going to do after we destroy the outpost? I get the feeling we’ll outnumber them this time. Especially if it’s still just the three or four of them against you and the Knights and me, we could take them.”

“No.”

Your brows pinched together in confusion.

“What?”

“No. We need to leave as soon as we’re finished.” He stated with a tone of finality before starting to walk away. 

You were stunned. This was so out of character for someone who had just had turned the room into a smoldering ruined mess. You reached out and grabbed his wrist and held your ground.

“Kylo, this is our chance to take them out. Either capture them and imprison them finally, or just kill them and be done with it. What’s gotten into you?”, you chided, unsure of what to make of this sudden lukewarm reaction to confronting the enemy that had been a regular thorn in his side. You reached your awareness out to him again, desperate to understand what was going through his head. You felt his insecurity and worry before he slammed his mental shields instinctively to keep his thoughts and emotions private. 

You flinched in response, and he turned to you, a look of regret flashing over his features.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I-”, he began.

You held a hand up. You let out a breath.

“It’s alright, you’re not used to this, I understand. But please, just tell me why you’re so worried about confronting them? Is it… is it her? Rey?”

You lowered your voice, just in case one of the others was close by. You had felt the vicious energy that the knights exuded increase as the others had reached the vault to begin their retrieval of the prizes that they chose nearby. The hairs on your arms and neck had stood up when it had become so thick and tangible.

“Is it something with your Force connection to her that’s making you hesitant?”, you continued, your unease growing.

You almost missed the way his chin quivered, the expression so small it was barely perceptible. He turned back away from you, his voice slightly wavering.

“I don’t know what will happen if one of us does die. She or I.”, he clarified.

“It could do nothing. But I’m not sure I’m willing to take the chance that it could do something. It was constructed by Snoke, but has somehow persisted after his death. I don’t understand it, and it causes me more concern than I’m willing to admit.”

“She doesn’t have to die, like I said, we could just capture them.”, you persisted.

His shoulders hunched.

“(Y/n), please. Can we please just let this go? There’s too much at stake.”, he whispered.

You wanted to push, but something in the way that his shoulders were bunched and the tone that he had replied in made you stop. You swallowed, your words dying on your tongue.

“Okay.”, you relented.

You slid your hand from his wrist to his hand and intertwined your fingers. Some of the tension left his shoulders and you stood next to him, face neutral. You both began your walk back to the vault, steps steadily echoing in the chamber.

After making back to where the others were appraising weapons and other items in the cache, you let go of his hand and began to walk around, looking at the items the knights had left alone. You stepped with care, trying to avoid disturbing any of the egg sacks that were clustered about. You retrieved your discarded pack from where you had dropped it in the scuffle with the queen. 

You felt something call out to you again, but this time, the pull felt so different from the voices that had dragged you from the room and almost to your doom. This was the feel of the sun’s caress on your skin, the whispers sighing and humming, singing out to you to find them. You made your way to another tapestry, this one smaller and depicting a figure with wings, arms outstretched to receive. 

You pushed the wall hanging aside, finding a recess in the wall. On the shelf inside were three cubes, small enough to fit in your hand. You grinned as you recognized that you had located the item you had been looking for. You grabbed one and went to turn and call Kylo over to show him your findings, but something stopped you. Something inside of you made you pause. You were beginning to slowly understand your connection to the Force, and it was this same feeling that made you shrug your pack to your chest and bury the holocron and one of the other two in the bottom of your pack. It was after hiding those artifacts that you grabbed the last one and walked over to him and give him a triumphant look as you held it up for him to inspect. 

He took it from you, cradling the object in his palm, it’s size dwarfed in comparison to when you had held it. It looked more youngling’s building block in his hand than a Jedi information storage device. It was almost comical. He looked at you ardently.

“How?”, he asked.

“It called to me. Maybe my attunement is stronger than we thought”, you replied smugly.

He smirked and rolled his eyes in response.

“They’re almost done, did you find anything that you liked?”

“No. Not unless there’s a lightsaber sitting around here that I missed.”, you countered with a smirk of your own.

He shot you an exasperated look. You pulled at your pack’s straps, the thought of what you’d concealed from him pushed from the forefront of your mind. 

You watched as they finished their looting and started placing the thermal detonators around the room, some of them stomping on eggs as they went about their business. The eggs would crush with a squelching noise that left you feeling nauseated. You headed back to the hallway that you and Kylo entered through, eager to leave this place as soon as you could. You took one of the flares out of your vest and lit it to see in the encroaching gloom as you left the light of the vault once again. You held it up to the webbing that still lined the sides of the path, the sticky silk igniting and quickly burning into nothing. You heard the others catching up behind you, and the beeping of charges being set along the way.

The Knights walked past you, their longer strides easily overtaking yours. Kylo appeared next to you, matching your pace as the others circled around you again, forming another protective barrier between you and any dangers still hiding in the shadows. You exhaled in relief knowing you were no longer exposed to an imminent attack from the  Wyyyschokks now that you had a full detail of deadly warriors acting as your own personal bodyguards. 

Your relief was short lived as you felt the prodding of the men reaching out to get a feel for your connection to the Force. You felt like prey being sniffed and assessed by a pack of Loth-wolves. Their dark energies was rife with curiosity that straddled the knife’s edge of hunger and anticipation. You straightened up and managed to lash out against their intrusions. You felt them retract their awareness immediately and you felt Kylo’s pride at your self-defense.  Confidence welled up in your chest and you felt a little giddy.

_ Maybe this Force thing isn’t as hard as I thought it would be,  _ you mused to yourself.

Finally you all made it back to the entrance, and they placed the final charges around the doorway. You counted yourself lucky you hadn’t come across anymore of those damned arachnids on the way out and were glad to be out of the outpost finally. You all walked over to the speeders across the small clearing and began packing the items you’d raided from the vault before moving a safe distance from the building. Ushar pulled out a remote and pressed the button to set off the charges. A muffled explosion came from the back of the building, where the vault was likely located, and the noise moved closer to the front as the bombs went off. Finally fire and smoke erupted from the entrance, and the stones blasted apart. Dust and debris rained down, some of it managing to land near where you were taking cover.

And then, because apparently the Maker has a terrible sense of humor, the ground rumbled and quaked before a cacophonous roar rattled in your ears. You stood there in shock as thunderous footsteps shook the earth and jungle around you. A towering figure cast a shadow over you all as it blocked out the sun, its large stocky arms swinging about, searching for the cause of the explosion. 

“ _ What is that? _ ”, you breathed, though you already had an inkling of what the massive animal was.

“Jungle Rancor.”, somebody responded, confirming your suspicion. 

Its head swung in your direction and its eyes focused on you. It tensed up and released another ear splitting roar before hurtling in your direction. The Knights of Ren sprang into action, Cardo and Kuruk shooting at it, to try and do as much damage and distract the beast as the others with their close range weapons ran to attack its legs to disable it’s movement. You watched as they all worked like a well oiled machine, their assaults picking up where the others left off. 

Despite their concentrated efforts, the Rancor’s tough hide and colossal size made it difficult to take down. You watched as even with Kylo’s Force abilities and using a lightsaber, they were struggling to do much damage. Ap’lek had managed to climb its back and was slashing at its head with his battle axe while Vicrul, Trudgen, and Kylo hacked at it’s ankles to try and force it to the ground. 

While the battle continued, you barely had time to react before a hand grabbed your wrist and yanked you behind a large shrub. Not wanting to be caught by another cultist, you pulled your blaster out and pressed against the would be kidnapper’s jaw. You faced them to find Poe Dameron on the other end of your blaster.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there! Watch where you’re pointing that thing okay? I’m not gonna hurt you okay? My friends and I just want to talk to you.”, he yelped.

“And why should I bother to talk to you,  _ rebel scum _ ?”, you sneered.

A lightsaber ignited behind you, the heat from the blade too close to our face for comfort.

“Because we think it would be in your best interest to hear what we have to say.”, a female voice responded.

You pulled the blaster away from the pilot’s face slowly, holding it up in surrender.

“Should have known you would be close by, huh,  _ Jedi _ ?”, you muttered.

Damerson took your pistol and had the nerve to apologize before patting you down and removing your concealed vibroblades.

“Sorry about this, but can’t be too careful.”, he murmured.

“Why are you even apologizing? It’s not like you really care if you offend me, Commander Dameron. I don’t understand why you haven’t just stunned me or killed me.”

You put your hands down as he finished and narrowed your eyes in suspicion.

“What could you possibly want to talk to me about anyways?”, you questioned.

“Not here”, Rey countered.

You let them lead you a little ways off before they had you cornered against the base of a large mushroom, and Dameron stood watch while Rey faced you.

“We don’t have long before Ren and his men take out that Rancor, so I’m going to make this quick. He cannot have the information contained within those holocrons. Th-”,

“Wait a second.”, you interrupted. “How do you know about there being more than one holocron?”

She huffed impatiently.

“I read about them in some old Jedi texts, but that’s beyond the point. Those holocrons contain sensitive information that could mean the difference between life and death for thousands of people in the galaxy.”

You studied her face.

“Elaborate.”, you replied slowly.

She glanced towards her companion. He bit his lip and shrugged. You were still so confused. The only reason you hadn’t reached out to Kylo by this point was because it made no sense for them to ask an enemy to betray their leader like this. Well, that and because you weren’t too keen on being impaled on the business end of a lightsaber.

She looked back at you, resolve hardening her features.

“Those holocrons contain the locations of Force sensitive children throughout the galaxy. That information in the wrong hands could mean the death of those children, and their families.”

You were taken aback.

“Are you implying that Kylo would murder hapless children, just because they’re Force sensitive?”, you asked.

“I- I don’t know. I don’t want to believe Ben is capable of that. But I do know there are others who are. Especially within the First Order. He might be the Supreme Leader, but there are those who work in the shadows who would seek to upend his control. You care about him, right?”

You dipped your head in a shallow nod, unsure of how to respond to this. Again, why did she care?

She removed something from a pouch on her utility belt. She held out her hand. A data stick sat in her palm. You stared at it.

“Take this. It has information on it that could help you both if you start to see signs of a coup.”

You blinked as she pushed her hand towards you. You didn’t reach out, so she grabbed your wrist and pressed it into your hand. She didn’t let go after she had given you the data stick. A look of surprise mixed with bewilderment passed over her face. She looked at your face, something similar to awe in her eyes.

“You? You’re Force sensitive? Why didn’t I sense this before?”, she wondered, half to herself.

“Because I only found out about it myself about 20 minutes ago too.”, you revealed, pulling your wrist from her hand.

“Huh.”, she said thoughtfully.

“Rey, we need to get going, they just knocked it down and are about to-”, Dameron started, his voice rising. “Cut its throat. Nevermind, it’s dead, we gotta hurry.”

He turned to the two of you. 

“Hey so, uh, real nice to see you again, but that’s our cue to leave.”, he urged Rey along, trying to corral her away.

She hesitated, twisting out of his way and coming back to you.

“I’m sorry about what happened at Black Spire, by the way. I let my emotions get the best of me. I really hope you take what I’ve said into consideration. There’s something in you, I can feel it, that makes me believe I can trust you. It’s crazy, I know. But I felt it in him too.”

Her voice dropped to a whisper.

“There is light in him. I know you’ve sensed it. Even if you weren’t aware of it. And the way he protected you makes me believe it might be stronger than I’ve thought in the past. Ask him about his father, he might try and resist, but it’s important you know what happened.”

“I know what happened. His parents abandoned him when he needed it most. And his own  _ uncle tried to kill him _ .”, you seethed.

“ _ Rey, come ON. _ ”, Dameron hissed under his breath.

“Things aren’t always what they look like. There were problems yes, but there’s more to the story. If things ever go south, come find me. I’ll be waiting.”, she urged.

She gave you a beseeching look before turning back around and running into the underbrush, leaving you alone, dumbfounded by these recent turn of events. You hated that for some reason, you wanted to believe her. The same feeling that made you hide the holocrons from him now made you think that she was right. About everything she said. You weren’t sure about the part about his family. But about how important those holocrons were, about Kylo still having light in him, even about the possibility of a splinter faction. 

You heard your name being yelled, and a tug on your awareness. He was looking for you. You mindlessly pushed the datastick into a hidden pocket in your vest and began walking over to where you felt him. 

You walked around the base of one of the giant mushrooms and caught sight of him. You could feel his worry once again, the stress of you disappearing for the second time in an hour eating at him. You felt a tug on your heart as you realized how badly you wanted to tell him what had just happened, but again that same feeling that made you hide the holocrons from him prompted you to remain silent. You told yourself you would tell him, but first you had to see if Rey was right about the dissenters. And it wasn’t as if you were actively helping the Resistance, you hadn’t given her the holocrons. You rationalized your decisions to yourself as you walked towards him.

He sensed your approach and his head whipped towards you. Relief radiated from him and you couldn’t help but smile, forgetting your troubles as he stalked over to you. He looked at you, questions racing through his head, unsure of where to begin. You saved him the trouble and began to explain your disappearance.

“Sorry I wandered off, I thought I sensed the Jedi, and I went to investigate. Went off farther than I expected. Dead end. Still not used to this whole powers thing.”, you said sheepishly.

His look of relief turned to a scowl. 

“Why didn’t you alert me? The knights could have handled it on their own.”, he nagged.

You rolled your eyes back at him.

“Because you didn’t want to do anything, remember? You said you wanted to leave it. I on the other hand found that I couldn’t pass up that chance to take out one of their precious officers or even capture her for you.”

“Ah how brave of you. And incredibly foolish.”, he countered.

“I am capable of taking out enemies by myself, you know! I am an extremely accomplished agent who can handle herself, even without some mystical powers to use.”, you spat, hackles rising. You felt your eye twitch. Great, he was rubbing off on you.

“Fine, I acknowledge your skill and capability, let’s just go, shall we? I’ve had enough stress for one day.”, he snapped back, exasperatedly. He went to press his hand into the small of your back, to guide you back to the others but you walked quickly ahead to avoid his touch.

You felt his irritation as he glared at your back while you stomped back to the speeders. The others stood, waiting for your return. You walked over to where Vicrul waited and gestured for him to get on. He hesitated before climbing on, the others following suit, and you climbed on back. Kylo narrowed his eyes at you when he came to the group and you glared daggers back at him. He mounted his own speeder and took off back to the ship, not sparing any of you another glance as he raced away.

The others revved their own speeders and followed their master, with you and Vicrul in the middle of the group, where you could still be protected from any unseen attackers. Holding on tightly to his waist, you realized with a pang how Vicrul wasn’t quite as broad as Kylo, and you felt a little ashamed at your pettiness. His reaction was a bit much, but then again, he hadn’t really had anyone to teach him how to respond in those situations. His parents had been absent, and only the Maker and Kylo himself knew what his other two mentors had been like. And here you were acting like he was being dramatic while you had talked to his enemy and had begun to hide secrets from him like they were sweets after you’d both promised no more secrets.

“Are you alright Miss?”, a voice carried back to you over the wind racing past yours ears.

“I’m sorry?”, you replied.

“I asked if you were alright Miss? You seem… troubled. Your Force signature is tangled and in turmoil.”, Vicrul stated.

“My Force what?”, you puzzled.

“Your Force signature. It's your unique energy in the Force.”, he explained.

“Ah. Um. Yes, just all of today’s excitement has got me thinking. I’m fine. Just trying to figure out what it all means.”

He didn’t reply. He just nodded.

The rest of the ride was uneventful and you climbed back onto the ship and headed back to your room. You felt the roiling anger and pain coming from Kylo’s own quarters. You stopped in front of his door and thought better of it. You walked inside your room and let the door close behind you. You walked over to your closet, and to the back of the small walk-in space. You pulled your pack off and pulled out the two blue cubes. You felt their warm and soothing presence soak into your palms before you wrapped them in a large sweater and placed it into a box. You slid the box into a dark corner before exiting the closet and closing its door. 

You sighed. You pulled off your clothes and sank into your bed only wearing your panties. You pulled the blanket over your head and lie there, contemplating what in the galaxy was happening to you. 

You wished you were in his bed with him. But you weren’t. And now you had to figure out what was the next move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Thirst Order is taking over all platforms. And y'all don't even know the half of it.
> 
> Stay Thirsty my friends.
> 
> -Stevie


	15. Teamwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin looking into the new mysteries that have have begun to pile up and you help the Knights with some stress relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. WHAT SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING AND WAITING FOR. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Because whoa it was a very spicy scene to write. 
> 
> In other news, I started writing ANOTHER story, one that's been in my head for months. So while I don't believe it will impact my ability to release a new chapter at least once a week, I figured I'd let you guys know just in case.
> 
> I'm also trying to be more active on twitter and will try to use it to keep those interested in writing updates and info on there! Follow me at https://twitter.com/undrwtrmirrors
> 
> Hope the weekend is treating you right and that you all have a fabulous rest of your day.
> 
> -Stevie

You lie there in your bed, attempting to sort through everything that had happened in the last few hours. You were getting frustrated by it all, your emotions starting to turn into a whirlwind. You clenched your teeth and closed your eyes, willing yourself to calm down. You inhaled in through your nose, and exhaled out through your mouth, your breathing exercise slowly bringing down your heart rate. 

You needed to be rational. Letting your emotions get the best of you wasn’t going to get you anywhere. The first thing you needed to do was see what was on that data stick Rey had given you. You got up from the bed and walked over to both of the doors and locked them. While it was likely Kylo could unlock them, at least it could give you a chance to hide the device from him before he could walk in on you. 

You pulled out your box of tools from under your bed and opened it. You pulled out a small data pad hidden at the bottom. You had snuck this in from one of your missions before, the operating system programmed for splicing and extraction without uploading the information to the First Order’s intranet like your standard issue one did. You powered it on, the device a little older than most, but still extremely capable of handling the jobs you needed it for. You connected the datastick to one of the ports, and ran a scan for any hidden transmitting functions that weren’t visible. All you needed right now was them spying on you, getting any valuable information from you or your location.

There was only encrypted data inside. You made quick work of it, de-encrypting it and opening the folder to reveal its contents. The holo that pulled up revealed some small files you immediately opened. They contained documents marked up with the black lines of redacted information. You worked on trying to remove the censor from one doc, managing to extricate more of the details before the file corrupted, leaving you with an incomplete list of names of officers assigned to a project named  _ Eternal _ .

You copied the list to your datapad, and went to move onto the next when a knock sounded on the door that opened to the rest of the ship. You cursed under your breath and stashed your datapad and the datastick back in the box before tucking it under your bed and pulling on a sleeveless tunic you grabbed from your closet. 

Another knock sounded when you didn’t respond.

“Just a moment!”, you said, voice raised in indignation.

You knew it wasn’t Kylo. He would have just come in through the ‘fresher door. Also, you still felt his anger churning over in his room. This Force signature was the violence infused shadow you had fought from being swallowed by on the ride back from the outpost. 

You unlocked the door to an unmasked Vicrul. You looked at him with mild reproach and confusion.

“Yes?”, you asked, annoyance dripping from your tone.

His steely eyes looked over you quickly, appraising your appearance and temper. He pulled the book from behind his back and held it out to you. You lowered your gaze to its leather bound cover. You took it from him, your attitude dissipating.

“Oh, right. Thank you. Sorry to snap at you. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”, you murmured as you ran your fingers over the worn cover and binding. The tome had to be ancient. An actual text was a rare find indeed, and this one radiated with forbidden knowledge and power. 

Vicrul cleared his throat before speaking, drawing your attention from the book.

“How are you holding up?”, he queried.

You gave him a shrewd look, his question taking you off guard. 

You responded slowly, “Alright. Feeling a little off kilter, but nothing I can’t manage.” 

The last part was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that. The fact that he was suddenly concerned for your well being was off putting, and you weren’t exactly sure what to make of it. 

“Your connection with the Force... You  _ really _ weren’t aware of it until today?”, he asked bluntly, his head slightly tilted as he continued to appraise you with that unwavering gaze. 

You stood straighter and leveled your gaze at him, instinctually trying to grab control of the tense exchange, to not be cowed by his powerful aura and frame. You were not one to be easily intimidated. Especially now that the playing field had become somewhat more even. You might not understand how to wield the Force yet, but you would be damned before you let one more person make you feel small right now.

“Yes, today was the first time I felt any sort of manifestation. Something happened when that woman nearly killed me. I felt something…awaken? I’m not entirely sure how to accurately describe it. But regardless of that, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try and examine this text and see if I can find anything on it.”

You went to turn around and close the door on him when he clasped his hand on your shoulder. You gave him a withering glare. You really weren’t up for talking anymore, eager to get back to the data stick and to begin to try and research anything you could on the book and its contents. Not to mention the holocrons hidden in your closet. But those would have to be opened when Kylo wasn’t around. You had the feeling he would be able to sense if they were accessed. You hoped that he couldn’t sense them now, that the one in his possession would be enough to keep him away from the others. 

“(Y/n). I understand you have a, how should I put this,  _ tenuous  _ relationship with Master Ren. But if you would like, I would be willing to assist you with getting a grasp on how to utilize the Force. In combat and in stealth. I have no training on the finer details and aspects of controlling it like he or perhaps the Jedi do. But myself and the others have found how to use it to fight better and harder. If you find yourself looking for such training, do not hesitate to reach out to me.”

You glanced down at his hand pointedly. He removed it quickly, not wishing to antagonize you further. You narrowed your eyes at him but gave a curt nod of acknowledgement. You stalked back over to your bed and let the door close, effectively ending the conversation. 

You settled back in and opened the book to give it a quick once over. The runes inside were archaic and  _ definitely _ Sith. As you flipped through it, you noticed there were notes in the margins, definitely added well after the original text had been written on the pages. You scanned the pages into your data pad so you had access to it without the need to carry the large book. It took about 40 minutes to finally get all of it scanned as there were a ridiculous amount of pages in it. As you finished, a thought occurred to you. You frowned and copied the files to the data stick as well after retrieving it from under the bed again. 

If there truly were people in the First Order who sought to depose Kylo, there was a chance they had access to all information being gathered by you and other intelligence agents. You decided it was best to store a backup just in case. After finishing the transfer, you set the book aside to attempt to recover more data from the datastick when you felt his Force signature. It was like you were in a wading in an ocean at night, the stars flickering on the water’s surface. The currents below pulling at your legs, but not enough to overpower you. You reached with your mind into the rippling shadow and felt him inside. Waves lapped against you, their intensity slowly increasing.

You picked the book up and headed to the refresher to go to his room. His anger had dimmed, his mind preoccupied with something else that needed his full focus. Your own irritation had subsided as well, and you needed to ask him if he might know what the symbols were. You whisked through the room, your resolve to start solving the mysteries that were beginning to pile up giving you the courage to interrupt whatever Kylo was so intently doing. 

The door slid open to find Kylo sitting on the floor of his room, eyes closed and hovering a few inches off the floor. Your mouth fell slightly ajar at the sight of him meditating. It was then that you noticed the holocron in front of him, pieces twisting and shifting, the configuration changing as he worked to open it. He was so deep in his concentration he hadn’t even heard you enter. You watched him in fascination, his face devoid of emotion, and softly walked over to join him.

You sat a few feet away from him, cross legged, and continued your observation of his meditation in rapt fascination. You could feel the energy in the room without even trying to, its charge filling every crevice and making the hairs on your arms and neck raise. It was like nothing you had ever experienced. But that was the thing about him, wasn’t it? You had been through so much in your life, more than others would ever be able to claim. But somehow you still found more, because of him. And it drove you crazy. But you still clung to it, secretly eager to see what else you could encounter.

There was a tremor in energy and you saw his brows furrow and his lip curl slightly. The cube suddenly went flying, hitting the wall violently and falling to his bed. He growled in frustration and landed back on the floor none so gently. His eyes flew open, and they found you sitting across from him. Your position had shifted slightly back out of surprise from the projectile that had flown past your head. His lips thinned into a slight scowl.

You licked your lips, waiting a moment before you spoke.

“I need your help.”, you stated.

Not missing a beat, he responded, “With what?”

You held up the Sith text. 

“Can you decipher these runes?”

His eyes widened at the book.

“Where-”, he started.

You cut him off. “The old woman had it in the outpost..”

He deflated slightly and held out a hand. You passed it over to him and watched him turn it around in his hands, looking at the cover and the back. He opened to a random page, and skimmed it. Closing it again, he looked at you.

“I know a few of the symbols, but not enough to make any significant efforts on my own. I have a translation guide back in my rooms on the Steadfast. Can I keep this until we return?” 

He held the book up in question. You nodded dejectedly. You were likely not going to be returning to the ship very quickly, being several systems away from the fleet. You bit your thumbnail, you had hoped to make more progress on it sooner, but for now it would have to wait. He stood up and placed the book on his desk before sitting down and turning on the communication hub there. He began going over messages and paperwork that had been sent during his absence, the work of the Supreme Leader never done. Which you could understand, but he didn’t bother to acknowledge or even dismiss you after your exchange. You irritation flaring up again, you pulled yourself up and went over to his side and stared at him. 

“Was there something else you didn’t mention?”, he said without looking at you after a few moments.

You grabbed his face and looked at him. His eyes were devoid of any obvious emotion, a mask in place. You pinched his face before pushing it back. You turned your back to him and stalked back to your room. You slapped the button to close your door and ripped off the tunic and threw on a training outfit. You needed to punch something, and quickly. Before you tried to break that pretty face of his.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

You were pummeling a training dummy, pouring all your frustrations and stress into each strike. But unfortunately, your rage only seemed to increase rather than abate through the exertion. You had been so tired after coming back to the ship, but now your stamina seemed to be peaking, and you weren’t sure you were going to be able to stop before the dummy was completely pulverized.

You slammed a well placed kick at the side of the dummy, knocking it over. You panted as you went over to stand it back up. 

“Rough day?”, a silvery voice asked from behind you.

You twisted your head to look over your shoulder at the newcomer. Ap’lek walked in, his helmet and armor absent. You’d seen them all without their helmets and gear in the training room by now, registering their faces and fighting styles in your mental notes of them. You’d noticed Ap’lek preferred deception and feints rather than direct and blunt attacks. He was very unpredictable, even more so than his fellow warriors. You always felt a little more on edge around him than the others too. You made sure to keep him in your peripherals as you played at being casual. 

“How could you tell?”, you asked sarcastically.

He chuckled, and walked over to stand next to you, watching you as you began to start boxing the dummy again. Sweat was pouring down your face and back, and droplets would fly off with each strike. You became keenly aware of his gaze, his eyes undressing you. You felt something like veily thinned hunger radiating off of him. You felt your core warm and your jaw clench. You paused your workout and turned your head to him, arms still raised in a defensive position. He smiled at you, his hooded eyes narrowed. You gave him a small half smirk in response. He moved closer, his smile turning cat-like. 

“I heard you’d be willing to play with us. I wondered if you were still interested?”, he whispered conspiratorially.

Your breathing hitched. Your own smile widened in response.

“What kind of playing are we talking about? Because as confident as I am in my own fighting skills, I’m smart enough to know when someone else is better than I am.”, you replied cheekily.

“Oh, I think you  _ know _ what I’m talking about.”, he said matter of factly.

He reached a hand out to brush your cheek. You quickly grabbed his wrist, eyes flashing in warning.

“As much fun as that sounds, the only way that’s going to happen is if it’s as a group, including  _ Kylo _ .”, you replied in a low voice.

“That’s what we figured.”

You heard multiple pairs of footsteps enter the room. You turned to see all of the knights enter, Kylo bringing up the rear. You dropped Ap’lek’s arm and felt your heart start to hammer against your ribs. 

Ap’lek walked back to join the rest of them as Kylo walked over to you. You kept your eyes on the group instead of him as he stopped in front of you and leaned down to your ear.

“Why are you so tense, I thought you wanted this?”, he murmured in your ear.

You finally looked at him. His lips first, and then his eyes.

“I thought you were still mad at me.”, you answered icily.

“... Well, I was, but I figured we could all use the stress relief. But this is only going to happen if you want this to.”

He was offering you an olive branch, in the form of a gangbang. You let out a shaky breath, a surprised smile forming on your lips, excitement and adrenaline rushing through your veins. You turned your head to his ear to whisper back:

“Tell me what to do.”

He swallowed thickly.

“Take your clothes off and go sit on the floor.”, he breathed.

You smile and pull off your top, throwing the soaked clothing to the ground. You slowly pushed your leggings down, giving them all a show of the process. You sauntered over to the middle of the sparring circle and sank down to your knees, waiting for his next command. He looked at the men and nodded. The circled you, their gazes predatory. Your breath began to come out in pants, your body flushing under their hungry eyes. You could feel yourself become slick and you shivered, the air much too cool for your heated and exposed body.

All at once they pulled their cocks from their trousers, slowly pumping themselves to full erections. You took in the sight, your legs clenching together to chase some friction to ease the throbbing of your clit. You looked at Kylo beseechingly. He walked over standing slightly behind them. His chest was heaving as well as he looked at you waiting for him to tell you what to do.

You heard him in your mind, his voice caressing you. 

_ “Suck Trudgen’s cock.” _ , he instructed.

You turned to him as instructed, leaning forward to take him into your mouth. You took him as far back into your throat as you could, grabbing the base of his cock to pump him with one hand, the other to his hip to steady yourself. You bobbed your head as your cheeks hollowed from the suction. His hand gripped the sides of your head, pulling your mouth over him even further. You breathed through your nose as best you could when your airway wasn’t being blocked from his fucking your face. You moaned and hummed, your spit leaking from your mouth and his dick to drip on the floor. You closed your eyes to focus on just blowing him and breathing. You felt yourself beginning to sweat profusely again.

Several hands latched onto your ass and your tits, to grope and knead the flesh there, making you moan even more. Trudgen pulled your head off his cock and you gasped, taking lungfuls of air as you looked to see who was where. Vicrul was on his knees with one hand on his cock, fist pumping up and down while his other was currently teasing your left nipple. The other hand fondling your right breast belonging to Kuruk, his mouth finding your nipple and sucking it hard before pinching it between his teeth. You cried out from the stimulation. Trudgen stepped away, and began jerking himself again before Ap’lek took his place, his fingers grabbing your hair and shoving your mouth onto his own flushed erection. You gagged for a moment from the sudden intrusion, but managed to relax your throat as he thrust quickly in and out of your throat. 

The hands on your ass lifted you up a little, to allow their owner better access to your cunt. You grabbed Ap’lek’s hips to brace yourself, his hands grasping your head to keep your mouth on his dick. You felt fingers rub your clit before sliding up your labia to your ass. You clenched in response. Those fingers then breached your entrance, your wetness coating them. They thrust into you, hitting the sensitive bundle of nerves hidden deep inside of you. Your cunt clenched around them as they rubbed your g-spot, the other hand rubbing your ass in faux affection.

You realized Ushar was the one fingering you as Kylo and Trudgen were still within your peripherals, the latter observing your body being fucked and groped from every angle. Kylo merely watched, despite the obvious hardness in his pants. His lips were parted slightly and his pupils were blown wide with desire. His eyes were glued to your face. You could imagine the sight of yourself, face red and slick with sweat and drool. Your hair had been up in a ponytail while you had sparred with the dummy, but the updo had been mussed up from the fingers that had held onto your head. Your head swum from the sounds and the heady energy that their combined lust created. 

Ushar’s fingers left your cunt, and you tried to whine in protest, the sound muffled by Ap’lek cock burying itself in your throat. The fingers were swiftly replaced by the head of Ushar’s erection. Your eyes rolled back into your head and you groaned. Your body went taut before it shuddered as an orgasm tore through you, the non-stop stimulation of your most sensitive parts pushing you over the edge quickly. But this didn’t stop them from continuing to fuck you through your climax. You felt tears stream from your eyes.

Ap’lek swore as he came in your throat, the cum shooting down your esophagus, the hot liquid trailing down into your stomach. You sucked him clean, and he pulled out of your mouth with a pop. Your jaw ached, and you placed your palms on the ground to support yourself as Ushar continued to fuck you from behind. Kuruk and Vicrul stood to stand in front of your face, awaiting their turn with your mouth. You grabbed Vicrul with one hand, jerking him off while you spat on Kuruk’s cock and began sucking him off. You felt Ushar’s member throb inside of you, close to his own orgasm. You clenched around him, desperate to pull him over the edge. He grunted and pulled out of you before he pumped himself to completion, his cum spurting on your ass and back. He panted and gave your ass one more squeeze before he backed away. 

You wiggled your hips, looking at Trudgen to fill the vacancy. He gladly accepted the invitation, settling behind you to position himself at your entrance before slamming himself to the hilt inside of you. Your vision went white from the impact, your throat vibrating around Kuruk’s cock, making him grunt in response. Trudgen pounded into you, his hands gripping your hips bruisingly tight. You felt your next orgasm building quickly, the slamming of his hips against yours hitting you just right.

You noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Kylo was approaching you, removing a glove. He kneeled down next to you, watching you being fucked while you gave a blow job and hand job at the same time. He reached out and swirled the cum on your back around, smearing it up your spine as it mixed with your perspiration. He then reached up and twirled your ponytail around his fingers before yanking it roughly, making you nearly drop Kuruk’s dick from your mouth. 

_ “Such a good girl. You can’t wait to taste them all can you? Though I know you love my taste the most, don’t you?” _ , his voice teased in your head.

You nodded in agreement, switching from Kuruk to Vicrul, dragging your tongue along the underside of his shaft before forcing his considerable girth into your overworked mouth. You felt Kuruk twitch in your hand, spurting his orgasm onto your cheek and in your hair. Kylo let go of your hair and sat back on his heel, watching you with unconcealed hunger. Trudgen continued his eager thrusting behind you, his grunts becoming louder. His hands slid up to your breasts, grabbing them and squeezing them. Kuruk fell back as well as your body began trembling with your second climax, your mind going blank except for the pure pleasure you were experiencing. It was almost too much as Trudgen fucked you even harder through it all, your nerves electrified and overly sensitive. Your head fell back from Vicrul, your hand fisted in his shirt. You cried out, your voice cracking from your vocal cords being strained so much.

Vicrul slid a hand along your cheek and into your hair, tugging you back towards his cock. You fought the instinct to turn away, to rest your stretched and overworked mouth. You ran your tongue over his head and took him back between your red and swollen lips covering your teeth from scraping the sensitive flesh. Your tongue flicked against his tip and pushed forward to accommodate him once again. His other hand found your hair as well, burying them into your hair as he panted and murmured words of encouragement to you. You looked up at him from beneath your lashes, the eye contact sending an electric shock down your spine. It was almost gentle the way he looked at you, so at odds with the roughness he handled you with. He began to thrust into your mouth, his pace matching Trudgen’s behind you. You felt like you could combust at any moment.

And then you peeked over at Kylo. He had stood up again, his hand under the waistband of his trousers. He was touching himself, the sight of you so completely debased finally pushing him to seek some relief of his own. You moaned at the sight, your heart pounding so hard you felt it in all of your limbs. Your blood roared in your ears and somewhere in the back of your mind, you wondered if you were going to have a heart attack from your insanely fast heart rate. 

Trudgen grunted before he pulled out and stood up, taking himself into a fist and jerking his cock off in front of you. Vicrul followed suit, both of them working themselves into their orgasms. You opened your mouth wide, sticking your tongue out to catch their ejaculations. Vicrul came first, with Trudgen following quickly after, their cum shooting onto your face and into your mouth. A few of the spurts landed on your shoulders and chest. Your eyes closed to avoid getting any of the sticky liquid in them. You licked your lips and the area around your mouth, tasting the bitter semen, and swallowing it.

You sat there for a moment, taking a chance to catch your breath and before you opened your heavy eyelids. Your eyes took a moment to focus, and when they did, Kylo’s face was in front of yours, blocking your field of anything that wasn’t him. His ungloved hand came to rest on your cheek. You sat there in a daze, a lazy smile forming on your lips. He summoned a towel from one side of the room and wiped your face and body of any residue left by the others. You looked down to see his still stiff erection pressed against his trousers. You grabbed his hand, taking it away from your face, and pushed him onto his back. You climbed on top of him, your hand dipping into his trousers and pulling his swollen length free.

“Can’t forget about you, now could I?”, you teased in a husky voice. You had a sneaking suspicion you weren’t going to be able to talk tomorrow.

You were soaking wet, and so ready to take him after two mind numbing orgasms. You pushed him into your cunt, and groaned as you sank down onto him. None of the others could begin to compare when it came to Kylo’s cock. You began gyrating your hips, eager for one last climax, one that left you breathless and sated like never before. His fingers trailed up your thighs to your hips, finding the places Trudgen had bruised, and grasped them. The pain of the bruises mixed with your rapidly climbing pleasure, making you squirm. You dipped your head down to capture Kylo’s lips in a searing kiss, your tongue twisting around his. He moaned your name against you lips, and began lifting his hips up to meet your rhythm. You buried your fingers into his hair and rested your forehead against his so you could look into his eyes as you rode him into your combined orgasms. You threw your head back as your moans transformed into a scream as he thrust a few more times into you as he came. Your name spilled from his lips with a reverence reserved for prayer, like he was thanking the stars and the galaxy for bringing you to him.

Your sank down against him, your head against his chest, and his hands coming to rest against your back. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to walk for the next couple of days without some assistance. You weren’t entirely sure you were going to be able to walk back to  _ your room _ after this. 

So instead of moving, you just laid there. Your body and mind exhausted, and listened to the beat of Kylo’s heart slow down to a steady pace and thump against your ears. You didn’t even realize your eyes had closed until he slowly sat up, one arm holding your back and neck. You looked up at him sleepily and moved to get off of him. He helped you slide off his lap before tucking himself back into his trousers and gathering you into his arms, like he did back on Batuu. You laid your head against his chest again, your eyes closing again as you listened to that strong heart beat. He walked you back to his room and into the ‘fresher. 

He deposited you gently on your feet. You stood there, albeit a little wobbly, your body wracked with fatigue and from strain. He went over and turned on the bathtub’s faucet, adjusting it to a decent temperature while you used the vacc-tube. Once the tub had finished filling, he held his hand out to you silently. You walked over and took his hand. He helped you into the tub, and you let the warm water soothe your aching muscles. He peeled his clothes and underwear off, stepping into the water as well. He motioned for you to make room. You scooted forward and he sat behind you. You smiled as he pulled you against him again, your breath coming out in a contented sigh. He cupped his hand in the water and poured some water onto your hair where some of it stuck together from the facial you’d received from the others. He scrubbed those spots, and cleaned you gently with water and his large calloused hands. When he was done, you settled against him, letting yourself relax and rest.

“It’s been so long since I’ve cared for another person so much. And I feel things too strongly at times. So if I come off too strong at times, it’s because of that. And I know I must sound like a broken holo at this point with how many times I’ve apologized to you. I’m just… I’m just not  _ good _ at this, even though I want to be. You make me want to try harder.”, he murmured, his baritone voice rumbling in his chest against your back. “I just want you to know that.”

You grabbed his right hand from where it rested on your abdomen and lifted it out of the water to examine it. His palms were rough with callouses from fighting with a lightsaber so often, but you remembered how gently and soothing they had been on your back after your swordplay training. It felt like it had been days ago, even though it had happened last night. You felt years older, the events of the day aging you. You kissed his open palm before turning it over to kiss his knuckles.

“I think we’re going to hurt each other more than we already have in the future, Kylo. Neither of us were ever prepared for this. For loving another person. But I’m starting to wonder if there are any relationships out there that don’t have problems. Because in all my experiences with people, no one is without flaws. So how could a relationship be free of them if the people in it aren’t themselves? I guess what I’m trying to say is, that I forgive you for what you can’t control, and I ask you to do the same for me. And that we try and work on what is in our control, no matter how difficult.”, you replied.

This mission had changed so many things for you, and you were worried about what was still to come with these new developments. But, you were tired of fighting with him, and you hoped that you could find a way to help each other more than you fought. You knew it was inevitable and would happen again, probably sooner rather than later, but you thought about how for now you just wanted to be with him. And that you wanted to enjoy that time while you had it. So you pushed all other thoughts and just sat in this moment with him. 

His hand curled around yours and his other arm tightened around your waist. His face buried itself in your neck and he nodded in agreement.

For now, this was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the wise words of the Thirst Order:
> 
> Horny and sad 24/7
> 
> -Stevie


	16. A Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go out for a night out with Kylo and the boys on Kijimi. You provide Kylo with some quality de-stressing, and Vicrul gets to join in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this took me so long to write, I really didn't have any writer's block! But I did it and I really like this one. It's a little break from the drama and just a little bit of fun for Kylo and Reader. And the Knights. Especially our boy Vicrul ;)
> 
> I got to visit Batuu yesterday for the first time in months and I got to see our dear Supreme Leader and pledge my allegiance to him. It was wonderful <3 Check out my linktree in the chapter end notes for a link to my tiktok to see me scream about daddy on my ride through of Rise of the Resistance. It was GREAT.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the new chapter and hopefully I don't procrastinate this week and get the next chapter out a little earlier! Because we'll be jumping right back into the plot!
> 
> -Stevie
> 
> 8/31/20 update: check out this incredible spotify playlist my friend made for Control!! Highly recommend listening to it while reading <3
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2olE0ZTQp1CaMT6faRWITR?si=r2vOxFA3QL6gneWVoZv8fg
> 
> Thank you Jess!!  
> <3

Two weeks later

You woke up with a large arm draped over your stomach. You tried to gently move the arm off of your body so you could try and sneak to the ‘fresher, but the arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into a tight embrace. Kylo groaned into the pillow above your head.

You huffed in response, pinching the arm that had imprisoned you.

“Kylo, let go. I’m not leaving, I just need to relieve my very full bladder.”, you ordered.

He sighed and relented, his arm releasing you from the Wookie hug. You got up and waddled over to the en suite. You shivered, rubbing your arms as the cold air of Kylo’s quarters on the Steadfast was making your bare skin break out in gooseflesh. You regretted not letting Kylo get you some clothes to sleep in. You walked with your thighs clenched together as you made your way over to the vacc-tube just in time. You sat down and went about your business, eager to climb back into bed and into Kylo’s body heat. 

When you were done, you washed your hands and quickly made your way back into his waiting embrace once again.

He pulled you close and you settled your head against his chest, letting your chilled limbs settle against his, warming rapidly. 

“Next time the Knights decide to have a drinking match, make sure I don’t accept any more challenges. That Tsiraki is a hell of a drink.”, you murmured against his sternum.

“Next time don’t listen to Trudgen, he’s got the highest tolerance to liquor I’ve ever seen. What time is it?”, he asked, refusing to open his eyes.

“I think sometime after 0300? When’s your meeting with the Supreme Council?”

“0700 hours.”, he responded.

“Ughh. So early.”, you griped.

“Mmmm, better get back to sleep then.”, he yawned.

You quieted, letting him relax and try to get back to sleep. You on the other hand, had no meetings or appointments, so you listened to his breathing deepen and slow, sleep dragging him back under. You let yourself relax as well, inhaling his scent and thinking about the past couple of weeks.

After leaving Felucia and your… group activities, you and Kylo talked about what was going to happen when you returned to the rest of the fleet and the order. You’d determined it would be best for you to take a few weeks off from any missions by special order of the Supreme Leader. Officially, to look into the possible threat of Sith acolytes; unofficially to begin training with him as well. You had no complaints with this arrangement, seeing as this would also give you time to look into the other threat. And to figure out what to do with the holocrons you still had hidden.

You’d asked what was recorded on the one he possessed, and was still having problems opening. He had been vague about its contents, that it contained information about his grandfather, but not exactly what about him. You didn’t press him any further seeing as how he had yet been able to open it, and didn’t see him opening it anytime soon. You kept tabs on where he kept it in his quarters, just in case he made any progress.

Meanwhile, you had begun to code a translating system based on the guide he had. Certain runes were harder to get a direct translation on than others, slowing down the process. Thankfully he was able to give some input when he had time, between the various meetings he had to attend and the paperwork that had amassed in his absence. You knew how tedious it could be, but if he pushed them off anymore, he would be buried in signing off on reports and regulations that required his approval. 

It didn’t help that his boredom would lead to restlessness that led to him seeking you out to relieve some stress. It was lucky he wore such a high collar, otherwise the high ranking officials would see the love bites that peppered his neck. You had ordered that he keep his marks this time, including the long scratches that ran down his back. You had made a note to yourself to try and keep your nails longer, and to file them to a more pointed shape. His moans still rang in your ears. 

It had been relayed to pertinent parties that you and Kylo were engaged in a relationship, and that this information was a private matter. But it didn’t take long for this to become public knowledge, but you had predicted this. Even a strict and polished organization like the First Order had a rumor mill, and gossip like wildfire. It irritated Kylo, but you were no stranger to receiving looks and hearing whispered comments behind hands meant to disguise. Only now, your senses having slowly heightened as your connection to the Force increased with training, you could more easily discern the words as they were spoken. Slurs were frequent occurrences, as well as lewd comments, but you were able to shut the speakers up with a wry smile and narrowed eyes. They were usually quite taken aback at your apparent eavesdropping. But there were the few who would shoot back a sneer.

But you had dealt with this on Corellia, and you knew what envy looked like. The gossip and rumors would die down soon enough. If Kylo didn’t terrorize them all into submission first. You did feel bad for him though. He’d been through this kind of treatment before, back when he had been young, and vulnerable to adults who thought nothing of running smear campaigns to try and destroy their political rivals, no matter the collateral damage.

So to try and ease his growing stress, you decided it would be good to have a “night out with the boys”. He’d looked at you with a look of skepticism. You looked back at him with a knowing smirk.

“Darling, as much as I know you enjoy letting loose by fighting or fucking, I think we should try something a little different. I suggest we let the Knights take us to one of their old haunts before you took over and gave them more discipline. A little chaos is good every now and again.”, you’d insisted.

After some prodding, Kylo relented to your request, but under the condition that the planet they visited was under First Order occupation, not wanting to deal with any undesired visitors. The fleet had been in the Bryx sector at the moment, so Kylo settled on Kijimi, which was currently being subjected to night raids by the order. 

The raids were one of the few actions you didn’t particularly agree with the First Order on. Not that you’d ever confront the leadership over it. The kidnapping of children to brainwash and train them to be soldiers was something that made your stomach turn unpleasantly. You’d been able to rationalize it for the most part as a necessary evil of war, especially against the threat of the rebels. But with your recent experiences with said rebels, it was becoming harder to turn your head the other way. But for your visit, you pushed the mutinous thoughts away for now, focusing on how you were going to get Kylo to loosen up and forget his troubles for one night.

Kijimi’s capital was nestled in the mountains, and subjected to blistering cold winds and snow. You had intended on wearing something thin and revealing, but the effect would be lost under the heavy coat you would need to wear. So you settled on wearing a black leather tunic that fell to your calves, with split seams running up the sides that stopped just below the crimson high waisted velvet leggings keeping your legs and abdomen warm. The tunic was sleeveless but you wore fur lined gloves that covered your arms up to the middle of your biceps. And to finish the look, you had settled on some black boots that came up the tops of your knees. They had platform heels with some tread on the soles so you wouldn’t slip in the sleet covered streets, but high enough so you weren’t quite as short compared to Kylo’s tall stature. 

When Kylo’s command shuttle made port, you paused on the ramp, pulling your coat tighter around you while the wind pulled a few strands of your hair out from your slicked back ponytail. The Knights descended down around past you, eager to go make their way to the cantina that waited in the city beyond. The last of the sun’s rays were streaming against the peak of Mount Izukika, slowly disappearing below the mountain range’s horizon. You felt Kylo come up behind you, the gentle darkness of his Force signature blooming around you, enveloping you in its embrace. His hand came up against the small of your back, the heat of his touch somehow reaching you through his gloves and your numerous layers. He softly urged you forward, to follow the others. 

You made your way into Kijimi City’s streets, the ancient looking stone buildings reminded you of monasteries. Troopers would occasionally pass by, saluting their Supreme Leader. They nodded at you, unsure of your rank, but aware enough to recognize you still wielded some power as you were walking alongside Kylo Ren with barely any distance between your bodies. You saw a few groups of the soldiers as they knocked on the doors of certain homes, sometimes pulling residents out into the street, yelling at them about children that were reported to live there as well. You tried to focus on the approaching cantina, to ignore the pleas being screamed for the children being ripped from their families. 

You felt Kylo’s gaze on your face, and you tried to keep your face unreadable, but you were sure he could feel the tension and stress that you radiated from your Force signature. You made a mental note to yourself to ask him about masking your emotions from others who could read your energies as well. Something must have told him not to ask you about your stress, as he turned forwards once again, opening the door for you as you entered into the raucous bar.

Apparently this wasn’t the Knight’s first time at the establishment, as they had procured a back room for your group, away from prying ears and eyes of the other patrons. You hung your coat on a hook on the wall, next to where the men had stored their weapons and helms. A pretty Twi’lek hostess came in, her lilac skin almost glowing in the low light of the room. She introduced herself as Liani. She took everyone’s orders, flirting with the men, despite their leering expressions. You had to give her credit, not many people could be so easy going around the fearsome warriors, not mention their affiliation with the organization who was currently raiding her planet. You would remember to leave her a generous tip for putting up with you all.

The mood of the room was more relaxed than you would have guessed, the knights reminiscing on old missions, talking of weapon upgrades they had been working on, and various other topics of fighting and battle. You and Kylo listened on while they discussed it all. 

Liani came back in with two trays balancing a multitude of glasses and bottles filled with different colored drinks. She walked around the interior of the crescent shaped table, placing drinks in front of the men, giving them all a sweet smile as she went. When she finally stopped in front of you, she placed your glass in front of you and poured the light effervescent wine into it from the bottle. She went to place it back on the tray, but Kylo stopped her. 

“Leave the bottle for the lady, if you would.”, he explained. 

Liani nodded, her lekku bouncing a bit with the motion, eyes wide as she realized who was talking to her. So the knights had been here before without Kylo then, you deduced. You gave him a sidelong glance before you smiled at the Twi’lek and thanked her. She quickly set down his glass, the amber liquid rippling inside. She bowed as she backed away, and quickly hurried out of the door. 

You picked up your glass and swirled it around, watching the bubbles rise from the bottom of the glass, and took a sip. The semi-sweet wine rolled over your tastebuds, delivering notes of fruits and hints of nut. You smiled contentedly. You would have gone for a stronger alcohol but you decided it was best that one of you wasn’t totally black out drunk by the end of the night. At least you’d hoped you would be until somewhere after the third glass, you felt your inhibitions start to lower. 

Kylo had managed to knock back a few glasses as well, not nearly as much as the others had. Soon the room was filled with boisterous laughter and challenges. It was so at odds with their usual quiet and terrifying demeanor. You wondered if this was what they had been like before Kylo had become their master. You were lost in your thoughts when you felt a hand rest on your right knee. You glanced at Kylo, but his gaze wasn’t on you, he was still focused on the scene of his men slamming their glasses onto the table after downing them quickly, a smirk on his lips at their antics. He began rubbing small circles on the inside of your leg. A half smile grew on your own face, satisfied that your plan had begun to work, the tension in his body dissipating as the night progressed. 

VIcrul was seated to your left, his glass sitting in front of him, the clear liquor half drank. You’d noticed he wasn’t drinking nearly as much as the others, this glass only being his third. You clinked your glass against his, drawing his attention to you. He gave you a small smile which you returned. You leaned towards him so you could be heard over the noise. 

“I kind of thought you were a bit more tight collared than the others, but only three? Come on Vicrul, don’t tell me you’re a lightweight?”, you teased, your filter diminished with your buzz. 

He chuckled. 

“Says the one also on her third glass of wine and tipsy.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but shrugged realizing he wasn’t wrong. He pushed his glass towards you, gesturing for you to sample the beverage. You grinned at the challenge. You lifted the glass to your lips, the liquid scent less. You knocked it back, letting the contents put down your throat. Immediately you regretted it. It was like drinking straight starship fuel. It burned your throat and the inside of your nose, making you sputter and cough. The knights turned towards you at the noise, and laughed. Your cheeks burned and you gestures rudely at them while you gagged and tried to settle your burning throat. 

You heard Kylo even trying to suppress some laughter at your display. You turned to look at him in disbelief, your mouth open to give him an earful, but the expression of genuine mirth on his face made you pause. You couldn’t help but smile too, his reaction making you forget that they were all laughing at you. 

Shoulder still shaking with quiet laughter, Vicrul took the glass from you and refilled it before taking a sip himself. 

“Tihaar is a highly concentrated liquor. Don’t worry, most people don’t handle nearly as well as you did.”, he said humorously.

You gave him an exasperated look before turning back to Kylo. His hand had slipped further up your thigh and suddenly it wasn’t just the alcohol rushing through your veins that was making you hot. You discreetly tilted your head to the door before standing up to head to the ‘fresher. He licked his lips and stayed seated while you headed out into the main room of the cantina and to the back hallway that led to the refresher.

You walked into the empty corridor and into the private fresher and locked the door. You checked your appearance in the mirror and waited until you heard a knock. You felt him waiting anxiously on the other side. You opened the door and pulled him inside before locking the door again and pushing him against the wall. You slanted your mouth against his, your tongue finding its way into his mouth with no resistance on his part. You tasted the smoky flavor of his drink on his tongue, and you greedily pushed for more. Tangling your hands in his hair, you swung a leg up on his hip and pushed yourself up higher on your toes to reach him so he didn’t have to bend down too far to keep your mouth on his. He moaned into your mouth, and cupped your ass and squeezed. You broke apart from him to catch your breath and then nuzzled his jawline. 

You pressed your lips against the spot where his jaw met his neck and sucked the flesh there hard to leave a mark. You pulled his collar down to expose more skin to mark. As you did, he grabbed the thigh around his hip and pulled the other one from the floor to wrap your legs around him so you had better access to him. Laughter bubbled from your throat into his neck, his eagerness now pressed against one of your thighs. You reached down between the two of you and rubbed him through his trousers. Your touch sent a jolt through him and his hips jerked forward into your hand. He carried you over to the sink and placed you on top of the counter while you continued your assault on his neck. You managed to begin working at opening his tunic while he tugged at your own.

You lifted your arms so he could yank the fabric over your head and toss it behind you. Without the body warmed fabric on, your torso broke out in goosebumps from the chill. It didn’t help that your bra was just thin scraps of satin, the soft fabric rubbing your hardening nipples almost uncomfortably. You couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through you, and you guided his hands to your chest to make him fondle you, eager for his warm hands. He complied eagerly while you pulled him back in for another searing kiss. He played with your nipples before pulling your breasts from their cups to knead them.

You hummed and began to grind yourself against his erection. You bit his lower lip between your teeth and pulled it a little before dragging your tongue along it to soothe the hurt you inflicted on it. You could feel him throbbing through his trousers, and pulled back again to give him a look of sarcastic sympathy.

“Poor baby, you’re so hard. It must be painful. Do you need me to take care of this?”, you crooned at him. 

He panted as his hips jerked forward again of their own accord, eager for the friction your hips had been providing. His eyes were dark, the pupils dilated so wide the brown of his irises were almost swallowed by the black. You went to reach into his trousers to wrap your still gloved hand around his swollen cock when a knock sounded on the door.

Kylo’s voice was rough and low as he loudly called out that the refresher was occupied. Hid eyes bored into yours

“Master, it’s me.”, Vicrul announced.

Kylo’s eye twitched.

“What is it?”, he gritted out.

“General Pryde is trying to reach you by communique. He claims it’s urgent.”, Vicrul replied. Even with the door in the way you could hear the disbelief in his own voice at the general’s claim. 

“Vicrul, if you wouldn’t mind, could you please tell him that the Supreme Leader is very much occupied at the moment, and that unless it’s life or death, not to interrupt again?”, you replied loudly. “And when you’re finished, feel free to come back if you’re up for it.”

You gave Kylo a grin as you said that last part. He looked at you with an expression that said he wasn’t sure he was quite willing to share at the moment, but you bit your lip and narrowed your eyes at him. He rolled his eyes but nodded.

Vicrul was quiet for a moment before he replied.

“Yes Miss.”

You heard his footsteps retreat from the door.

“Better get to it before you have to share me.”, you said with a smirk.

He huffed and lowered his mouth to your chest. He drew a line from your collar bone to your cleavage with his tongue before he drew your nipple into his mouth. He nipped at the stiff peak and swirled his tongue around it while he sucked, you leaned your head against the mirror and panted as he focused on teasing your nipples with his mouth and hand. His other hand traveled down your stomach to your crotch and began rubbing your cunt through the velvet fabric of your leggings. You couldn’t even feel the cold anymore as he thoroughly warmed your body, the alcohol making your head swim in a pleasant way. 

He switched from one breast to the other with his mouth as he deftly peeled his gloves off, one hand finding its way to the abandoned tit. His rough palms and fingers added a new sense of stimulation against your sensitive flesh. You dropped your legs from his waist and spread them as he slipped his hand into your leggings and into your panties to rub your clit. Your hips gently gyrated in response to meet his rhythm, your breaths coming out in small mewls. His middle finger dipped into you, the long digit curling inside of you and quickly finding that sensitive bundle of nerves deep within you. You moaned as he added his forefinger and circled your clit with his thumb. Your back arched and your core tightened as he fingered you, your pleasure building like an oncoming storm.

He didn’t even pause as another knock sounded. Knowing it was the knight, he unlocked the door telekinetically, and locked it again after Vicrul hastily entered. You opened your eyes to look at the newcomer, giving him a feline smile. He strode over, and stood nearby to watch Kylo make you come undone. You kept your gaze on him for a moment, eyes locking before looking back at Kylo while he brought you closer to your orgasm. 

“You’re such a good boy, making me cum before you.”, you praised, your voice uneven. You placed a hand on his face, stroking his face while the other hand grasped his bicep, feeling the muscles working through his sleeve.

You noticed Vicrul move a little closer, to get a better vantage point. He reached down, rubbing himself through his own pants. The thought that you were making these two powerful individuals so aroused was enough to push you over the edge. You looked into Kylo’s eyes as you moaned and cried out his name. Your hips and legs began to shake as your orgam rumbled through you, slow and deep, making your breath catch. You curled up to him, your forehead coming to rest on his shoulder. You sat there panting for a few moments before sitting back up. Kylo stepped back and you hopped down off the counter. 

You walked over to Vicrul and grasped his hand, guiding his hands to your breasts like you’d done with Kylo. He took your invitation to let his hands wander. You turned back to Kylo, letting him watch as his knight played with your body as he’d done earlier. You crooked your finger at Kylo, calling him over. He came to stand in front of you and you reached down into his trousers, finally giving him the touch he’d been craving. He sucked a breath through his teeth as you pumped his hard cock. You reached behind you to rub Vicrul through his trousers as well. He twitched against your hand, and you gave him an appreciative squeeze. He responded with a tug on your nipples, making you moan. 

You stepped away from him and turned to look at both of them. They watch you hungrily as you pulled your bra and gloves off and tossed them on top of your leather tunic.

“Trousers down. Now.”, you commanded.

Kylo did as instructed immediately, his eyes never leaving yours. Vicrul hesitated for a beat before doing as he was told as well. He was almost… self conscious? You wondered if it was because he wasn’t used to being the one in control with sexual partners. You gave him a pleased smile to relay your gratitude at going with the situation. You stepped back between then and got down to your knees. You looked at the two men’s cocks on either side and licked your lips. You licked both of your palms, looking up at them while you did, and then grasped them both in either hand.

You started them off with just jerking them off, your pace slow and deliberate, easing them into a steadier rhythm. You thumbed Kylo’s precum around the head of his cock, swirling it around, letting it mix with the saliva on your hand so it was better lubricated. You did the same with Vicrul’s as well, making sure to not ease up on Kylo even when your focus was on the other man. Then you took Vicrul into your mouth and began to suck him off. You covered your teeth with your lips and bobbed your head up and down his length, twisting your grip with your hand as well. You watched his face from below your lashes and saw him looking back down at you with lust clouding his eyes. You hummed in the back of your throat as you pushed him further down back, letting the sound reverberate around him inside you. 

You pumped Kylo faster as you deepthroated Vicrul, flicking your wrist as you did. He moaned your name, and thrust his hips in your grip. You pulled your mouth off of Vicrul’s cock with a pop, and began to jerk him off again, his length coated in your spit. You gave him a grin before turning to Kylo to give him similar treatment. You dragged your tongue along the underside of his shaft and kissed the tip of his cock before swallowing him into your throat as well. His hands found their way into your hair, clinging to your locks as he buried himself inside your mouth. You gagged a little and relaxed your jaw and throat, willing yourself to keep him in for as long you could. You felt your chest heave as it tried to take a breath, and he pulled out of you to let you suck in a gulp of air before pulling you back onto him again. 

He fuck your mouth until you placed your hand on his wrist and he relented. You switched back to Vicrul again, and repeated this cycle until you felt they were both on the precipice of their climaxes. They moved closer to you as you began to pump them even faster, urging them to orgasm. Your mouth was a mess of drool and precome by this point, and you knew you were soaking wet again under your leggings.

“You’ve both done so good, and now I want you to cum for me. Cum for me boys, cum!”, you demanded.

You opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out, eager to receive their cum. They both grunted as they shot their loads onto your face, ropes of the thick white substance landing on your forehead, cheeks, and in your mouth. Kylo hissed your name and Vicrul stood there panting. You swallowed what had gotten into your mouth and pushed the bit that was on your cheek into your mouth as well. You smiled contentedly while they came down from their orgasms. Vicrul looked down at you, giving you a small half smile and nodding his thanks. 

He tucked himself back into his trousers before straightening his clothes and exiting the ‘fresher to leave the two of you alone. You stood up, having to catch your balance from getting up too fast with the wine and Tihaar still making your head fuzzy. Kylo reached out and grabbed your arm to help steady you. You giggled and pulled gently out of his grip before walking over to the mirror. You grabbed a tissue wiped at your face, removing the last of the cum off your face. Kylo walked up behind you after pulling his trousers back up as well, wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping kisses to your neck and shoulders. You tilted your head to the side to expose your neck for more kisses as you finished cleaning yourself off. You reached back and patted the side of his face and rubbed his cheek with your thumb.

“Thank you for humoring me tonight. With the drinks and with letting Vicrul join in. This was fun.”, you mused.

He hummed against your touch, reminding you of a purring Loth-cat.

“Maybe doing this every once and a while isn’t a bad idea.”, he rumbled in response. 

Apparently booze made him more pliable than you would have guessed. You leaned your head against his for a moment before reaching over to your discarded clothes. He unentangled himself from you while you got dressed again and made yourself look somewhat presentable again. Your ponytail had gotten mussed up, so you opted to brush through it as best you could with your fingers and left it down. After you were done, you nodded to him and you exited the ‘fresher. Vicrul stood at the end of the hall, blocking anyone from wandering down and interrupting you two while you finished getting yourselves cleaned up from your tryst. After walking up behind him, he led the way back to the private room where the others waited.

A couple of them whooped a bit at your re-entry, while the others just smiled knowingly. Trudgen had somehow gotten Liani to stay with them during your absence and was now sitting on his lap, giggling at his attempts to get his hands up her blouse while she batted at him playfully. You were shocked at how different he came off in this type of scenario compared to when you’d been on the mission with them. They all seemed so different from the terrifying warriors you’d met a month ago. But then again, so was Kylo from when you’d first met him after joining the order. 

“So, our master has returned with our mistress.”, Trudgen drawled, his brown eyes sparkling devilishly while he pinched Liani’s waist, making her squeal. “Tell me Sellene, if you thought Tihaar was rough, how about you try some Tsiraki with me? If you can beat me in a drinking game, I’ll give you the lightsaber I’ve got stashed in my weapons store back on the Night Buzzard.”

You looked at him with a doubtful smile. Ap’lek chimed in with a teasing smile of his own.

“Oh, he’s not lying. He does have one. He took it off the body of a Jedi he killed a couple of years ago.”, he assured.

Liani stopped laughing at that, a glint of feat coming into her eyes. You could see how nervous she quickly became.

“Let her go, and you’re on.”, you responded.

“Ah, Sellene, I wouldn’t recomm-”, Kylo began, but Trudgen had released the Twi’lek already and you strode over to him confidently. You weren’t an idiot, but the Tihaar apparently made you cocky.

And then he had proceeded to drink you under the table, and Kylo had ended up having to almost carry you back to the shuttle, your equilibrium shot to hell. You’d had to stop a couple of times on the way back to the shuttle to vomit the liquor out of your stomach. So much for being the one responsible one. Kylo had laid you across the seating in the back while he and you headed back to the dreadnought so he could get back to his quarters and into bed. He had asked what clothes you wanted to sleep in, but you were too dizzy and tired to care and had insisted he just get into bed with you and let you fall asleep as is.

“Thank you. For tonight. I appreciate your effort, and I had a good time, for the first time in a long time.”, he’d murmured as he pulled you against his chest, settling you into a comfortable position.

“I’m glad Kylo. You’re welcome. I love you.”

He sighed with what you thought could have been happiness.

“I love you too.”, he whispered.

And with that you had fallen asleep in his arms, his heat warming your body and the remnants of strong liquor in your bloodstream a better lullaby than any other. You’d slipped off into unconsciousness with a smile on your face knowing you’d accomplished your goal better than you could have ever planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://linktr.ee/underwatermirrors


	17. Tepasi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin to uncover new information. An event is discussed. You decide to go dress shopping. Things get a little heated, per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello my friends! I hope this week has treated you well! I think I might have finally gotten a release schedule figured out, which is pretty much just a new chapter on Sunday nights. I will try and have it out earlier than I do today, but since it's a three day weekend, I'm up later than usual. 
> 
> I've been working my original character fic a lot during the week, with bits of Control being written as well, but I mostly work on it on the weekends when I have a lot more undivided free time. I haven't uploaded any of my OC fic anywhere because I need to do a lot of revisions on it, but once that's completed, I might share it on AO3 exclusively, at least for a while.
> 
> But anyways, here's a link to the dress we're wearing in the fitting room scene. It's an Elie Saab from the 2016 fall couture line, and I just adore this collection. The second dress will be revealed next chapter. 
> 
> https://assets.vogue.com/photos/577d0e12684324e827f8dd9f/master/pass/KIM_0018.jpg
> 
> Enjoy chapter 17!
> 
> Stevie

You hadn’t realized you’d fallen asleep again until you were jolted awake to the sound of an alarm, Kylo raising an arm to quiet the noise telekinetically. You rolled out of his arms and onto your back and exhaled through your nose. You cracked your eyes open as the room’s glowpanels turned on, making you close your eyes again against the harsh light . You rubbed your face brusquely and felt Kylo sit up next to you. You could feel a migraine coming on, a hangover you hadn’t felt earlier starting to settle in your body.

His movement caused the blanket you’d been snug and warm underneath slide down and expose your chest and stomach. You hissed at the sudden chill that caressed your bare skin again. He turned at the sound, and pulled the blanket back over you. You gave him a sleepy smile of gratitude at this, pulling the thick fabric around your body. He stood up after seeing you were comfortable again, and headed to the refresher. 

You watched his retreating form appreciatively, especially the way his sleeping trousers hung low on his hips and snugly on his legs, affording you a nice view of his taut backside and powerful thighs. You sat up with the blanket still wrapped around you and slid out of the bed. You padded over to the closet where some of your clothes now lived. His collection of clothes was small, barely taking up any room in the large walk in. You’d had some of your garments brought up to have some outfits for when you needed to leave his quarters. Which wasn’t much, since you had access to everything you needed here. Meals were brought to you when you called for them, a communication and data terminal in Kylo’s desk, and your secret datapad was stowed away in the bottom of a pair of boots. 

You pulled out a pair of grey shorts and a large black sweater and pulled them on. You also grabbed a pair of long black knit socks to wear when your feet inevitably got cold. You threw the blanket over your shoulder and tossed it back on the bed before heading over to grab your datapad off the desk. You stopped and looked at the holocron sitting on the desk as well. You placed the datapad back down and picked up the holocron instead. You felt the warm feeling soak into your hands again. You closed your eyes, centering yourself, letting yourself feel the energy how Kylo had been teaching you. You could sense a tendril of light reach out to you and you reached back instinctively. 

“I have to be in the council room in a couple of minutes, did you need anything before I go?”

Kylo’s question broke through your concentration. Your eyes snapped open and you hid the holocron behind your back as you turned to him. You smiled nonchalantly and shook your head.

“No, I’m all set. You’ll be back for a late breakfast though right?”, you asked.

“I hope so, it depends on how long they all bicker this time. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother dealing with them.”, he responded irritatedly.

You gave him a coy smile, letting a hint of playfulness slip into your voice. 

“Well if they piss you off too much, I’ll be here waiting to help you relieve some tension”, you purred. 

The corner of his mouth lifted a bit at that. 

“I’ll hold you to that.”, he replied “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

And with that he left, his cloak fluttering behind him. When you head the door close, you pulled the holocron from behind your back. A corner was twisted out of its locked position. Your eyes grew wide. You all but threw it back on the desk quickly as your pulse quickened. You grabbed your datapad again, pushing the thoughts about what it meant to the back of your mind. 

You walked over to the couch next to the large transparisteel window that gave you a view of the system beyond. You settled into the plush piece of furniture and opened the translation program you were working on to run final tests so you could run the runes through it finally. You were eager to finally start getting some answers. 

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

It was a little after 1000 hours when Kylo came stomping back into the room. You looked up from your datapad to greet him when you saw his expression. You had guessed he would be irritated after the meeting had run on longer than he had anticipated, but he looked tired too. Like his exhaustion was winning out over his irritation. He shrugged off his cloak onto the bed before walking over to where you sat. 

He collapsed onto the space next to you, one leg bent to rest on the cushions, the other dangling onto the floor. He sighed and placed a hand over his face. 

You set your device down and turned towards him. 

“That bad, huh?”, you asked. 

He replied with an affirmative grunt. 

“I finished the translation program.”

His eyes appeared from behind his hand. He sat up on his elbows. 

“And I’ve translated the book.”, you said with an encouraging smile forming on your lips. 

His eyebrows rose up into his forehead, his scar stretching with the movement. 

“I was just starting to read it when you came in. So far it’s just the historical records of the Sith, lineages and such. There were some notes in the margins there, mostly regarding Sheev Palpatine’s rise to power. Information on his apprentices.”, you continued, adding that last bit knowing it would pique Kylo’s interest. 

He sat up fully to reach across you and grab the datapad on the arm rest next to you. You moved in front of him, blocking him from it. 

“Ah ah ah,”, you warned. “That can wait.”

He glared at you. You returned the look with one with a nonplussed one. He sat back with a huff. 

“What happened in the meeting?”, you ventured. 

An eye twitch before another exhale, this one exaggeratedly longer. 

“I’ve always hated politics, but if there is one thing I did gain from Leia Organa, it was her skill in navigating those areas, despite my negative views on them. Or maybe I don’t hate politics, but rather the bureaucrats who think themselves so important and their opinions so much better than others’. I wanted power and I got it, but now I have to listen to those simpering fools while they fight and argue about menial topics instead of getting anything of actual import done.”, he ranted. 

You nodded sympathetically while he continued on. 

“The Resistance is laying low after their losses on Crait and Batuu. But from what intel our spies have gathered, they are still making moves, just not as obvious. But what is the council discussing? Holding a military gala to celebrate our victories and new footholds.”

“They claim it would be for strengthening ties with current allies as well as finding new ones on the planets we’ve conquered. To begin setting up the framework for local governments to regulate those planets within our new empire. It isn’t hard to see the motives beneath those claims. Greed and hunger for power. Not to mention the desire for a night of useless pageantry and excess.”, he griped. 

You sat there and thought on the matter before giving him your opinion on it. 

“It certainly isn’t the best use of funds and the loans allocated to us.”, you agreed. “...But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to form those new connections. Also, it would be useful for intel gathering, to see which allies maintain their loyalty to the order.”

_ Not to mention useful for me to start looking for the traitors among us,  _ you thought to yourself. 

“Plus a little party would help with morale as well.”, you added. 

“You  _ really _ think it would be beneficial?”, he asked skeptically. 

“I don’t see why not. Plus it could prove to be a power move, we show the rest of the galaxy that we’re confident in our own capability and power. That we  _ will  _ be victorious over the rebels, and that we’ll snuff out their resistance.”, you elaborated further. 

He thought on your points for a moment before pulling out his datapad and typing a brief message and sending it off. 

“Alright, then I guess we’ll have to start preparing then won’t we?”, he said, his voice barely containing his skepticism. 

You smiled and climbed into his lap, straddling him. 

“You know what this means right?”, you said enthusiastically. 

“...What?”, he asked suspiciously. 

“We need to go shopping.”, you said, barely suppressing your excited grin. 

He winced. 

“I’ve got plenty of formal wear items I’ve never worn before-”, he started. 

You covered his mouth with a hand to quiet him. 

“No Kylo, for  _ me _ . I need a gown so you can show me off to all those idiots who want this ridiculous event in the first place. Make them  _ envious _ .”, you replied, quirking your eyebrow. 

You felt him smile under your hand. His own came up and covered yours, pressing it against his lips before drawing it away and pushing you down to kiss your breath away. 

“You’re even more devious than you look.”, he growled.

You laughed as he trailed his mouth down your jaw to your neck. You grasped the sides of his head before he got past the neckline of your sweater and pulled him back up to look at your face. 

“Easy now, save the enthusiasm for shopping. Also, food first. I’m starving.”, you said firmly. He looked down at you, expression put out. 

To punctuate your point, your stomach gurgled loudly. He looked down at your abdomen before looking at you in disbelief before standing up from the couch and holding a hand out to you. You took it and he pulled you up and led you from the bedroom to the dining room. 

You sat at your usual place at the table, with him across from you. A couple minutes later the server droid came in, trays with your meal on it. Apparently he had ordered the food after the meeting had concluded. You ate your meal with fervor, almost a little too eagerly if you were being honest with yourself, but you’d been waiting for him longer than you had realized. It didn’t help that your stomach had been virtually empty from puking up it’s contents on the way back to the shuttle from the cantina. 

You were nibbling on some toast when Kylo looked up at you from his own plate and addressed you. 

“Do you have any shops in mind? For your dress?”, he asked. 

You stopped chewing for a moment while you thought about the shops you’d previously purchased from. 

“Not especially. I’ve never really needed any formal wear aside from my uniform; any dresses I own have been for missions and they’re certainly not from any high end shops.”, you mused, after swallowing your food. 

“I see. Maybe we’ll try Tepasi.”, he said, lost in his own thoughts suddenly. “I remember some of the dressmakers there had quality gowns.”

You glanced at him. His energy had become subdued, his Force signature radiating a deep sadness. You could tell he was recalling a memory of his past, perhaps about his mother? His face was shadowed and he swallowed thickly.

You leaned forward and rested your chin on your hands, giving off an airy demeanor.

“Hmmmm, Tepasi, huh? Sounds good to me. Can’t say I’ve been there, so you’ll have to show me around.”, you hummed, attempting to pull him from his thoughts.

He looked up at you, his eyes glassy. He blinked quickly to clear them before nodding. 

“Shall we get ready then?”, he asked.

You stood up, grabbing your dish and his to place over in the rubbish receptacle. He was still feeling the pain from the memory, you felt it, despite his attempt to cover it. You headed back into the room to change into a pair of black slacks and a grey blouse, layering it with a darker grey cape sleeve coat and black stilettos. You pulled your hair up into a top knot and walked back out, looking every inch like the partner of a high ranking military official. 

Kylo was waiting on the foot of the bed, standing when you exited. You gave him a prim smile, and nodded to indicate you were ready. You both headed out of his quarters and to the hangar.

\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

After looking at several different shops’ window displays in Tepasi’s capital, you found one that stuck out to you. The silhouettes were clean and dramatic, unlike the others which were too full and frilly for your taste. You were currently in one of the private dressing rooms, looking at yourself in a long sleeved black velvet dress with a daring v cut that dipped almost to your navel, with a belt stopping it. Under the belt was an asymmetrical peplum waist that was embroidered with several gold and silver sequin appliques. The dress also had similar applique on the left shoulder that connected to a matching sequin collar that lay on your collar bones. And to show off a bit more skin, there was a long slit in the skirt that ran up the length of your left leg nearly to your hips. You liked it well enough but it still didn’t feel right for the occasion.

You walked out of the changing room and into the adjoining fitting room where Kylo sat in a leather armchair waiting for you. You stepped up onto the raised platform in the center of the room and gave him a slow spin to show every angle. He rested his cheek on his fist that was propped up on the chair’s arm as he quietly appraised you. This was probably the tenth dress you’d tried on, and it seemed like he was quickly getting bored at the idea of watching you going in and out of the dressing room, in a parade of various black dresses. But you were determined to find one that he  _ really _ wanted to see you in, standing next to him while the senior officers looked on in envy.

“I like it.”, he said flatly.

You rolled your eyes and sighed.

“You’ve said that for every dress I’ve come out in.”, you huffed exasperatedly.

“Because I do like them all, you’ve looked incredible in all of them. I’m not sure what more you’re expecting from me?”, he scowled.

“A little more enthusiasm, I guess?”, you chided. “I am trying to pick something that will match your outfit appropriately. I do want people to be impressed, that I’m not just some bitch who slept her way to the top to be with you.”, you spat, irritated by his nonchalance.

His eye twitched.

“Why does it matter? You act like you don’t care what they think, but now you’re suddenly worried they think you’re just some common whore? What, do you think they’re right?”, he shot back.

You gave him an incredulous look, before turning on your heel and heading back into the room to change out of the dress. You heard him get up from the seat and follow you. You slammed the door closed before he could get to it. 

You heard him stop outside and curse.

“(Y/n), open the door,  _ please _ . I’m sorry.”, he said quietly.

“I don’t care what those idiots think about me. But I won’t stand to let them try and undermine your authority because you chose someone like me. They can call me a whore, or whatever they want, but I’m not going to let them tarnish your reputation because they don’t see me as someone worthy of standing by your side. That’s why I need to find the dress that will make them see that.”, you hissed through the door.

You were unbuckling the belt when the door was ripped open, the flimsy lock a joke compared to his strength. You glared up at him, your heels still not quite enough to stop him from dwarfing you.

“You are worth more than all of them combined. You’ve done more for the First Order than any one of those sniveling fools have since I joined under Snoke. If they question either of us, they will find themselves regretting their words very quickly.”, he said, his eyes searching yours.

He placed a hand against your cheek. You leaned into it, raising your hand to his wrist. You took a steadying breath, feeling yourself calm down. He kissed you softly, a reassuring gesture to remind you how much he actually cared. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth, instantly making your core go molten. You pulled away from his kiss.

“Get on your knees.”, you murmured.

He looked down at you for a moment. You squeezed his wrist tightly.

“Now.”, you breathed.

His breath hitched and he sank down, his hand traveling from your face down your arm, to settle on your waist.

His face was still at your waist even when he was kneeling. You drew your left leg up, the slit in the dress allowing the movement. You placed your shoe on his shoulder, and pushed him down further until he was sitting on his heels. His eyes darkened and his mouth parted to draw shallow breaths. His hand fell further to land on your ankle.

“I want you to show me how much you mean that. About my worth to you. Make me feel how strongly you do.”, you uttered with a silk soft voice.

You dropped your leg out his reach, and stepped back until you were against the wall. You looked down at him through a half lidded gaze and gave him a smirk. You slid your hand down to the skirt and opened the slit wider to expose your hip. His eyes widened when he realized you weren’t wearing any underwear under the dress. Kylo licked his lips and began to crawl over to you, his eyes locking on yours.

You bit your lip as he came up and got back on his knees. His gloved hand trailed up the expanse of your leg, snaking back around your thigh, pulling it over his shoulder. He kissed the side of your knee, moving forward to the inside your thigh, your skin electrifying at his lips on your skin. You pet his soft hair reverently as he reached the apex of your thigh. His right hand slipped under the fabric behind you to cup your ass as his left hand lifted the skirt to uncover your cunt. 

Your back arched slightly as his nose met your clit, his lips pressing against your cunt. His tongue darted out to lick the folds of your pussy, eliciting a gasp from you. Your hands raked through his hair before clenching those dark locks as he began to eat you out. You moaned appreciatively as the tip of his tongue pushed inside of you, making your hips twitch forward to feel him deeper. His nose continued to nuzzle your clit, making your head swim. Your eyes closed as the sensations became your sole focus.

He pressed your hips forward drawing you closer while his left hand pulled your other leg from off the ground until you were balanced against the wall and on his shoulders. Your hands clawed his scalp and you whined while your hips canted against his tireless mouth. You could feel that tension in your core tightening with every swipe of his tongue against you, every time he sucked on your clit. You felt the sweat forming on your brow, his name on the tip of your tongue.

Your breath was coming out in stuttering gasps, your climax dangerously close. Your ankles hooked together behind his head.

“ _ Kylo. _ ”, you moaned softly, trying to not make too much noise in case one of the shop workers got too nosy.

You opened your eyes and looked down at him to find his own eyes locked on your face. You felt your face flush as your orgasm hit, deep and slow, making your head fall back against the wall. You sighed as the wave peaked and slowly came down. You could barely lift your head back up again as you released your grip in his hair, petting him soothingly. He eased you down from his shoulders, holding your waist to make sure you could stand as your body was still limp from the aftershocks. You watched him lick his lips as he tasted your cum on his slick mouth. You could feel the evidence of your intense climax running down your legs.

He stood up and pulled you into a kiss, letting you taste yourself on his lips. You hummed as his tongue swept into your mouth, circling your own tongue with his. You grasped his sleeves and held him while your kiss deepened. You reached a hand down to palm his cock, feeling his hard length hidden by his tunic. He pulled away to pant as you rubbed him. 

His forehead rested against yours and his eyes bored into yours. His pupils were huge, the amber irised nearly swallowed by them. You slipped your hand inside his trousers, feeling how swollen and hard he was for you. You slicked his precome down his erection and began to pump him quickly, to help him find his release quickly. 

“Is everything alright in here? I haven’t heard anything from you two in a while.”, a female voice called out from the fitting room.

Kylo’s hand pulled yours from his trousers quickly.

“Yes, thank you! He’s just in here helping me get out of the dress, I got stuck.”, you replied, lying through your teeth.

“Oh! Would you like some assistance? I can come back if you need-”, the woman began.

“That’s not necessary, we’ve got it under control.”, Kylo answered, a bit too roughly.

“Ah- alright! Well I’ve brought in one more dress I thought you might be interested in. I’ll hang it up on the rack for you!”, the employee responded, voice a little higher than it had been.

You heard the door close and you blew out a breath before you looked at Kylo’s face, your expression a bit sheepish at almost being caught.

“Now, where were we?”, you asked, reaching for him again

“Wait. Let’s wait until we get back to the shuttle.”, he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Oh. Alright.”, you replied, a bit taken aback. “Well, might as well see what she brought in.”

“I’ll grab it for you.”, he said as he exited the room.

You felt somewhat confused by the refusal, but brushed it off while you finished removing the dress and placing it back on the hanger in the garment bag. He came back in, offering you the new dress. He took in your bare form, his nostrils flaring before his gaze dropped to the floor and he turned away. He walked back into the other room, leaving you confused once again. 

You pulled the gown on, smoothing it down and smiling despite yourself. This was the one. You took it off quickly and placed it back in it’s bag and zipped it up. You pulled your underwear back on and dressed quickly. You grabbed the two dresses and walked back out to find Kylo looking at a few pieces of jewelry that were on display with various other gowns in the fitting room. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps.

His brows knitted together, perplexed by you being back in the outfit you’d arrived in.

“This is the one.”, you answered, holding it up.

He dipped his head in a nod.

“Bring the other one as well. I liked that one too.”, he said.

You gave him a smile, feeling a bit spoiled. 

You walked into the showroom with your choices, and laid them at the counter. Kylo followed and the clerk began ringing up the transaction. You wandered over to some of the more extravagant gowns that reminded you of some of the ones you’d seen on Corellia. The ones made for brides. You frowned a little at the thought. You hadn’t seen the value of marriages then. Now, you still weren’t sure about them, but you hadn’t thought you’d ever love someone like you did Kylo. 

You felt him walk up behind you. You turned around and gave him a coy smile and took his arm. He handed you a bag with your dresses folded inside, and you took it gratefully.

As you walked back to the landing pad where the shuttle was docked, you spoke softly while keeping your eyes forward.

“What happened back there?”, you asked, keeping your expression neutral.

“What do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you let me help you finish?”, you prodded.

“... Because I didn’t want to get caught.”, he replied, voice flat.

“We fucked in a public refresher at a bar last night, and we were a lot louder there than we were in the shop just now. What’s the real reason?”, you countered.

“Because if we kept going, I would have ripped that dress to shreds and fucked you until we were both hoarse from screaming.”, he admitted.

His answer took you off guard and you whipped your head towards him. He didn’t look back at you, but you could see the slight flush on his cheeks. You pulled him along as you picked up your pace to the ship, eager to let him do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Vor entye par reading.
> 
> -Stevie


	18. Preparing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo gets to finish what he started in the changing room, and you find that something is missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, did I... post on a Friday even though I said I would probably be posting on Sundays? Yes, yes I did.
> 
> Hello my loves! I was going to go into more plot with this chapter, but I feel like its better off getting it all out in the next chapter, all together. But don't worry, I gave us a really nice follow up from the last chapter's smut scene, right into our scene with Kylo tearing that dress off you. <3
> 
> I would like to try and get out another chapter this weekend, but I get the feeling I won't be that productive. But I will try!! The story is really coming together at this point in my head, and the finer details are writing themselves!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, and look forward to the next!
> 
> -Stevie
> 
> PS: This is the dress! From the end of last chapter, and the end of this one. I love this collection so much!
> 
> https://media.vogue-fashion-shows.com/photos/5c18f5f5e945354ad05c30e5/2:3/w_1280%2cc_limit/KIM_0441.jpg

You strode up the shuttle’s ramp, giving Kylo a sultry glance over your shoulder as he settled up with the proprietor of the landing pad you had been docked at. He caught your gaze and you smirked as you disappeared into the refresher to change again quickly. You heard him make his way into the ship as his heavy footsteps echoed as he entered the cockpit to start the engine. He had insisted on flying the ship himself, so you’d had the shuttle all to yourselves. You heard hiss of the ramp retracting and the door closing before the shuttle vibrated awake. 

After using the vacctube quickly, you pulled out the dress you’d been wearing in the changing room during your tryst with Kylo. You tore off your panties and bra and donned the black velvet frock. After checking your appearance, you stepped out of the ‘fresher and slowly walked into the cockpit. Kylo was steering the shuttle out of Tepasi’s stratosphere and into the black. You settled into the seat next to his, crossing your leg over your thigh and dragging your fingers up the expanse of bare skin of your chest and ribs that the dress showed. You let your eyes wander over his form. Your gaze settled on his thighs and the bulge that was much more evident in his sitting position. You licked your lips as your core warmed at the sight. He was still hard despite the time that had passed between your little rendezvous in the changing room and now. You pulled your gaze from his crotch up to look at his face. He was looking at you from the corner or his eyes, his own face slightly flushed. He pulled the lever to launch the shuttle into hyperspace, the stars stretching into bright lines. 

You stood up slowly from the seat and closed the gap between the two of you. Resting your hand on one muscled thigh, you caressed his jaw with the other. You slid your hand down his thick neck, applying slight pressure to his pulse points. His lips parted slightly at your touch and you dove in to taste him, dragging your tongue along his lower lip and sucking the swell of it in between your teeth. You tugged it a little, letting your teeth scrape the flesh, making it redden. His eyes went wild, and one of his hands found its way into your hair, pulling you closer, to deepen your kiss. 

The hand that had been resting on his thigh moved up until it found his groin, his erection straining against the fabric that contained it. You felt it twitch at your touch, his excitement growing more apparent as you stroked him lightly through his trousers. He panted into your mouth, his breath hot on your lips. You bent down and began to lick the underside of his jaw, working your way down to the wide expanse of his throat. You pulled his collar down, and sucked the pale skin, making the fading bruises bloom purple again. He moaned as you marked him for yourself again, his fingers entwined in your hair. 

Pulling back from his neck, you knelt down on the ground and looked up at him impishly. You made a spinning gesture with your finger, indicating you wanted him to face you. He turned the chair towards you, his flush having deepened from your attention. His face had a slight sheen, perspiration dotting his brow and upper lip. He looked down at you, enraptured, and you slid your palms over his thighs to his hips. You leaned forward to kiss the insides of his thighs, as he had earlier in the changing room. You pulled at his waistband and he pushed himself up in the chair to allow you to pull his trousers down, exposing his swollen cock. 

“The things I do to you without even trying.”, you smirked, blowing on his erection. 

He gasped in response, the stimulation too much for his sensitive cock. You bit your lip and took his length into one hand, the other resting back on his thigh. You stroked him before spitting on him, using it to lubricate him. He shivered under your touch and you wet your lips before taking his head into your mouth. He groaned at that. You swirled your tongue around his tip, and opened your jaw to take him as far back as you could. You made a glottal sound with your throat as you sheathed him inside your mouth, his hips twitching forward from your wet heat around him. You pulled back a little after a moment, letting yourself take a breath through your nose. Covering your teeth with your lips, you hollowed your cheeks as you sucked him, letting his cock hit the back to your throat again before pulling back. You began to bob your head up and down, humming while you did. You licked at him feverishly when you haf to pull back to take a breath, letting the hot air roll over him. His hands pulled your hair from your face, holding it back with one hand while the other rested on the back of your head while you sucked him off. His eyes were shut in concentration, desperate to not blow his load too quickly. 

You finally pulled off of him completely, and pumped him with one hand while you addressed him breathily. 

“What shall I do now, hmmm? How shall I make you come? Do you want to cum inside me? In my mouth? Or in my cunt? Or do you want to cover me in your cum? Tell me baby. Tell me what you want.”, you hummed, your voice low and a bit gravelly from having him so far back in your throat. 

He opened his eyes to look at you, his brow furrowed as he tried to hold on. 

“In-inside you. From behind. Please ma’am.”, he panted. 

You smiled and let go of him. You stood back up and turned your back to him. You placed your hands on the navigational instrument panel, careful to place your hands between the displays and instruments. Kylo stood up behind you and pulled the skirt up and over your ass to settle and hang from your waist. You glanced over your shoulder at him to see him line himself up with your entrance. 

“Mmmm, yes baby. Give me your cock. I wanna feel you inside me. Fuck me hard until I’m screaming, just like you said you would. Give it to  _ me-mnnnnn _ .”

He pushed himself inside of you, your cunt clenching as he entered you. You cried out, feeling him stretch you open until you were filled entirely by him. He grasped your hip with one hand and pressed the small of your back down onto the navigation panel. He drew back before pushing himself back into you quickly. He began to thrust into you fast, fucking you at an increasingly rough pace.

“ _Haah!_ _Yes! Uhnnn, yes,_ right there! _Ffffuuck yessss._ ”, you moaned.

He leaned forward over you until his face was next to your ear. You heard him grunt as he continued to pound into you. You reached up into his hair, tugging at his dark locks, pulling him down closer to you. You started gyrating your hips against him, moaning louder. He groaned into your ear and leaned down further to nip at your earlobe. 

“Yes baby,  _ don’t stop!  _ Keep fucking me like that-  _ aaah!” _ , you whined.

His hands went from your lower back up to your shoulder blades and grabbed the fabric there. He violently yanked the material apart and you heard the seam that ran down your back rip. Cool air kissed your warm skin and the velvet slipped down a little. Kylo grabbed your arms and pulled the material off of them, exposing your entire upper half. Your breasts uncovered, he grasped one in a rough palm, kneading it and pinching your nipple. You felt your core tighten and yourself clench around him further. You felt yourself drooling, it slipping down your chin as your pleasure grew.

You suddenly felt something rub your clit, the force unseen. You were confused as both of his hands were currently occupied, one still massaging your breast and the other gripping your waist. You panted as the stimulation pulled you closer to your orgasm. It took a moment before you realized he was using  _ the _ Force to tease your clit. You looked back at him to see his brows furrowed in concentration as he used every ounce of his being to bring you to your climax. And it didn’t take much longer for you to become overwhelmed by it.

It started low in your belly, spreading to your limbs. Every nerve ending sang as the waves of pleasure radiated through you, making your body quake. Your voice came out in a low moan, steadily rising as Kylo continued to fuck you, his telekinetic fingering making you see stars. He gripped your hips and picked up his pace, his hips slapping yours, and your voice rose even higher, turning into a scream. Your arms gave out on you, your face landing on a screen as Kylo’s grip tightened and you felt him spasm inside of you as he found his own orgasm. He roared your name as he came deep inside you. You felt the heat of his cum splash inside of you, making you feel even more full. 

He rested a hand on the panel to hold himself up as he recovered. The other hand rubbed soothing lines down your back, making your oversensitized skin hum. Your legs were still trembling as he slowly pulled out of you. You felt him kneel down between your legs and stick his face to your dripping cunt. He dipped his tongue into you and cleaned you with his mouth. The intimacy of the act made you tear up, salty water threatening to overflow from your eyes. He lapped at you until you felt yourself turn to jelly, another orgasm working it’s way through you again, not as intense as the first, but still enough to make you feel more than sated. 

Once he was finished, he stood back up and pressed a kiss to your bare back. He pulled his trousers back up and gently helped you up from where you were still resting on the panel. You felt a mild exhaustion settle into your body as you rose from your position. 

“You did good, Kylo. So good.”, you praised as you smiled contentedly at him. Your voice was raspy, your vocal cords a shredded mess.

You stood up, stretching your spine after being in that bent over position for too long. The bodice of the dress hung from where the belt still held it up, and the skirt falling back down to cover your lower body. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get changed out of this mess.”, you explained as your smile changed into a wry grin. 

He responded with a half smirk of his own before plopping back into the pilot seat, checking the navicomputer display to check your location in the hyperlane.

Walking back into the refresher, you undid the dress’ belt and let the velvet fall down your body to the floor. 

_ A pity, but so worth it, _ you thought to yourself.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, letting your eyes wander over your body. Your lips curved into a smile as you thought about the way his hands had held your body. You felt like your souls became entwined each time your bodies collided and connected like that. Your feelings were growing more intensely for him with every day you spent with him. It was so different with Kylo. To be wanted so wholly and cared for, in such a fierce demeanor made you feel so full. Even if it was nothing like you would have ever guessed love to feel like. 

Your smile fell from your face as awful thoughts popped into your head. 

_ Enjoy it while you can. If he finds out what you’ve hidden from him, he’ll never forgive you, _ the voice in your head warned.

Your heart felt like it was being pierced. 

“No. This is for him. We’re helping him. We’re not doing this for anyone else. We will crush his enemies, and we’ll stand with him.”, you reassured yourself. 

A part of yourself still doubted if you really believed yourself. You pushed the thoughts away and pulled on your clothes. You shoved the remains of the dress into the bottom of the shopping bag and walked back into the shuttle’s holding area. You tossed the bag onto one of the seats in there and pulled your coat around you tighter, trying to warm your now chilled body. 

You hated yourself a little bit at that moment. 

  
  


\--------------------------------------------------*------------------------------------------------

When you returned to the  _ Steadfast _ , Kylo was instantly called away for some policy issue that had cropped up in your absence. You walked the halls back to your shared quarters and went to the closet to hang the garment bag containing your gown. You hung it on a rack with several other dresses and turned to exit when you felt the call. 

You looked back at the boots hidden in a shadowed corner. You felt uncertainty fill you as you went back to them, pulling the holocrons from inside. Something told you to try and open them, but you knew it was too risky to try. You knew you probably could, especially after what you had done earlier that morning with the one still sitting out on the desk. You swallowed a lump that was trying to form in your throat. You placed them back inside their place in your shoes and told yourself you would need to make a trip away from the ship soon to see why they were calling you to open them. 

But for now, you went back to the couch to resume your reading of the Sith text translation. Or you would have, if the datapad had been where you had left it. You pinched your brows together in confusion. You know you had left it there that morning before you and Kylo had eaten. You went through the rest of the morning in your head, not recalling that you might have moved it. But Kylo might have. He’d been in the room waiting while you changed. 

You suppressed a wave of mild panic, not allowing yourself to become too distressed. You didn’t have anything seriously incriminating on it. And you hardly believed that if Kylo did have it, he would be interested in anything on it besides the translations. You searched around for it, supposing he might have just placed it somewhere else in the room. You checked the drawers of his desk and the few other spots he could have hidden it away, but you had no such luck. You sighed, realizing you would need to wait until he came back to ask him. You were dreading the idea that if he  _ hadn’t _ been the one to take it, that you would have to explain that you had misplaced the device that had the only translation of the texts. Well the only device he could know had the translation. You’d had the foresight to copy it to your secret datapad as well, just in case.

Then it also struck you that if he hadn’t been the thief, then someone else had been in his quarters while you were away. And a chill ran down your spine. If one of those Project Eternal members had discovered your investigation…

Things became so much more dire with this thought. If they knew that you had discovered them, you were in more danger than you realized.

The sound of the doors hissing open made you jump, your attention ripped from your thoughts. 

“They’ve been preparing for this event long before I gave the okay.”, Kylo said incredulously, pinching his brow between his fingers. “They’ve already gotten preparations underway and have set the date for two standard days from now.” 

He stopped and looked up at you, feeling your anxiety.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked quickly.

You smoothed your face into a look of self annoyance. 

“Ah, it’s nothing. It just seems like I’ve misplaced my datapad. I thought I left it on the couch, but it’s not there. You didn’t pick it up by chance did you?”, you asked, affecting a bemused tone, trying to play off the seriousness of the issue.

He stared at you.

“No. I didn’t.”, he replied, his voice quiet.

You paused, acting like you were trying to think back about that morning again.

“I must have just set in down somewhere and forgotten where I put it. It’ll turn up.”, you said as you waved a hand through the air.

He said your name.

“You left it on the couch. I remember. You changed right after our meal. You never went back over to it.”, he said, voice tight.

You glanced away.

“Someone was in here while we’re away.”, he seethed. You felt his anger flare out, encompassing you. You fought the urge to flinch.

“ _ Kylo, calm DOWN. _ ”, you commanded, your voice a hiss.

His glower would have sent anyone else running, but you weren’t intimidated by these outbursts anymore.

“I need you to calm down now, having a fit won’t help!”

“Someone entered our quarters and  _ stole _ your datapad. Why shouldn’t I be angry? How can you be so calm?”, he spat back.

“Well for one, someone has to be the calm one out of the two of us. And secondly, it won’t take me that long to replicate the program and translate the book again. Which I might add, we still-”

You shut your mouth before you finished. You ran over to the chest where you had been keeping the actual text. You heaved a sigh in relief as you unlocked it and found the book still nestled inside. You locked the chest back up and looked back at Kylo.

He stood there, fuming, his hands clenching and unclenching. He was trying not to let his anger manifest too physically, but he was teetering on the edge of losing his control. You stood up and went over to him and captured his hands in your own. You looked up into his eyes, willing him to let go of his fury. 

“Kylo. I’ll handle this, okay? You can’t blow up over this. If someone is after this information, they will hide as soon as they get wind you’re aware.”, you murmured. You placed a hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. 

You pressed yourself slightly up onto your toes to narrow the gap between the two of you. His eyes looked down between the two of you, unable to meet your gaze while you were so close.

“Let me handle this. It’s important they don’t know that  _ we  _ know. I’ll make sure to find them, whoever it is.  _ Then _ , you can handle it. Alright?”, you asked, dipping your head to meet his eyes again. 

You felt his frustration simmer down, his trust of you outweighing his need to make the intruder pay. You felt a pang of regret, knowing you were still withholding information from him, despite your constant reassurance to yourself that you were doing it all for him. He finally nodded.

“Okay. But if I feel like this situation becomes bigger than what you can handle, I will step in.”, he warned. 

“Fine. Now then, what were you saying about the gala?”

\----------------------------------------------*----------------------------------------------

You were applying the last bit of your makeup when Kylo walked into the refresher, fastening his cufflinks. After finishing your final check of your hair and makeup, you turned from the mirror to face him fully. You gave him an appraising look before smiling at him, your crimson painted lips curving in appreciation. 

He cut a dashing figure in his suit, all black per usual, but held an air of elegance compared to his standard padded armor and trousers. The suit was comprised of a high collared silk tunic with a thicker coat that fell to his mid thigh. A half cape was draped over his left shoulder, landing slightly longer than the hem of the coat. He wore slim fit slacks underneath, and his normal calf boots had been replaced by shorter ankle boots that shone in the light of the glowpanels. His lightsaber was concealed under his coat, clipped to his belt. The only part of his ensemble that he borrowed from his standard outfit were the leather gloves on his hands.

“Mmmmm, not that I hate your usual attire, but I think I do much prefer this look.”, you purred, coming over to smooth an errant lock of hair from his face.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this, because I’m certainly not. Though I’m keen to agree on the dressing up, you look… incredible.”, he said the last part with some hesitation. Not because he didn’t mean it, but rather because he was so unused to complimenting someone sincerely. Your smile turned into a grin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your opera length leather gloves crinkling in your elbows. 

“I know you like it when I dress up for you, as evident by the shredded dress I had to dispose of that day.”, you chuckled. “Though I will say if you even  _ think _ about even causing the tiniest amount of damage to this dress, I will break your fingers. I quite like this one a lot. Also, I do appreciate that we complement each other so well tonight.”

Your dress was black as well, but similar to the dress he’d ruined, this one carried gold accents on the waist. The bodice was similar to the other dress as well, velvet with a deep v-cut that stopped above a gold buckled belt that sat on top of a gold and black sequined applique embroidered into a floral design that climbed up to one breast. The collar was a simple piece of velvet that laid across your throat and connected to the shoulders. And flowing down your right shoulder was a dark black silk chiffon cape down over your arm to the bottom hem of the dress. The movement of the fabric was akin to smoke, undulating with each step and motion you made. And just like the other dress, a lengthy slit sliced open the skirt over your left leg, showing off a fair part of your thigh and down. You loved the accessibility the skirt provided, from the slit, to it’s hem stopping at your ankles. 

You also loved that the cape made it particularly easy to strap a small blaster to your belt, concealed beneath the fabric within easy reaching distance in case of an emergency. Because you wouldn’t dare let Kylo be the only one armed in case of an emergency. But it also helped that you had a few small throwing knives sheathed on a harness on your right thigh. He reached down and patted them through your dress, smirking at your over preparedness.

“What? Can never be too careful.”, you teased.

He leaned down and kissed the corner of your mouth, trying to avoid smudging your lipstick that you had painstakingly administered just minutes before. You’d done your eye makeup with a rich black smokey eye with gold foil artfully placed on your lids and the tips of your lashes, making the outline of your vision shimmer slightly. On your lips though, you’d painted them a blood red to represent your loyalty to the First Order and its master.

Kylo looked down at you predatorily and you responded with a similar look before pulling away from him. 

“Soon enough darling. But first, let’s try and make it through this event without ripping each other’s clothes off in front of everyone. Not that I hate that idea, but I don’t want to give them anymore reasons to gossip.”, you said.

You walked around him and into the hotel suite’s bedroom, where you slid your on your pumps and checked your appearance in a mirror. Kylo came to stand behind you, slipping his hand into his coat pocket.

“There’s just one thing missing.”, he said, pulling out a small box. 

He opened it and pulled out a gold chain necklace with a large teardrop shaped ruby hanging from it, the rest of the chain dotted with smaller red gems evenly spaced apart. You held up your hair so he could fasten it onto your neck, the ruby tumbling down your chest until it landed in the middle on your sternum, the cool stone resting on your flesh. You beamed at Kylo, gratitude flashing from your expression.

“This is stunning… Honestly.”, you murmured in awe of the gorgeous jewelry. “Thank you.”

He gave you a timid smile before presenting you with an arm. 

“Shall we?”, he asked.

You slid your hand into the crook of his elbow and grinned up at him.

“Let’s do this.”


	19. Gala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure I was going to get this chapter finished this week, but I did it! And all the love you guys have been giving the story has been a big help for my motivation. I cannot express how much I appreciate you all for reading and leaving kudos. So truly, thank you!
> 
> I was projecting this to story to be about 25 chapters, but I'm starting to think it might get to 30+ chapters. I've been writing A LOT lately, between Control and my OC fic, Across the Stars. That one has already gotten up to 9 chapters and I've yet to post any of it yet because I really want to get it right. It's practically going to be a book and I'm so excited to share the story of Sellene with you guys.
> 
> Life might get in the way sometimes, but these stories have been making hard times a little easier and I hope you'll continue to love them the way I do.
> 
> <3 Stevie

The transport sailed over a sparkling lake to the estate where the gala was being held. The breeze tugged gently on your hair from the opened windows, while you admired the large sun setting behind the palatial home nestled next to the water. The sky was painted with vibrant oranges, yellows, reds, and pinks as it sunk further behind the horizon. The stars were blinking into existence above and behind you, the estate’s location so secluded, it was free of the light pollution found in the city you were staying in miles away. You could begin to make out more details of the beautiful building you were minutes away from, spotting the lanterns that illuminated the path leading from the dock, up to the house proper, where dozens of people were already mingling about on a large deck that spread out and above the lake.

You looked at Kylo sitting next to you, his clenched fists resting on his thighs. You weren’t surprised that he was stressed out about attending an event where so many people were gathered. You placed your hand on one of his, giving him a slight squeeze of reassurance. He relaxed his grip slightly, and you looked back up ahead again. You were coming upon the dock now, the driver slowing the vehicle to a stop as he steered it up against the platform. Kylo stood up and stepped out of the transport. You stood as well, smoothing your dress before moving to exit the passenger seating. Taking Kylo’s proffered hand, you stepped into the warm glow of the lights. You placed your hand inside of Kylo’s bent elbow and you headed up the walkway to join the rest of the partygoers.

Troopers were stationed on the perimeters of the estate, a preventative measure against any enterprising individuals from sneaking into the event where so many heads of state and high-ranking military officers were present. As you walked by, the soldiers stood at attention, saluting you and the Supreme Leader. You smiled cooly as you were greeted in the reception hall, the officers also saluting while the officials bowed and curtsied to pay their respects to the two of you. You could feel a mix of emotions from them, some of respect and fear, others radiating with envy and contempt. You weren’t entirely sure which were directed at you specifically, but at least the majority of them were in the first camp.

The vast room filled with tables that were starting to fill as more people started to come in from the outdoor area. You and Kylo headed to one end of the room, where a raised platform seated a long table for the Supreme Council members as well as yourselves in the center. You held your head high and walked gracefully to your seats. As you passed, the standing council members saluted their leader as well, remaining upright while Kylo pulled your seat out for you. After settling into your own, he also took his seat, and signaled for the rest of the table to follow suit. 

A minister of the hosting planet’s government walked up to a podium situated in front of your table and began to speak to the attendees about the honor of having the First Order as their esteemed guests and expressed how grateful they were to be under the protection and care of the order. Proving himself to be a rather long winded speaker, you tuned him out and glanced around the room, taking in the layout. You noted each of doors’ locations, the knowledge of all possible exits necessary in any situation. You’d picked up this habit long before your time with the First Order, back when you were still on the streets of Corellia. After the doors, you scouted out the windows, hoping they were made from transparisteel and not real glass. They were quite large, and while they gave a spectacular view of the landscape and night sky beyond, they would do little to protect the guests from possible attacks.

At some point while you were assessing the room’s safety against some imaginary attack, Pryde had made his way to the podium after a few other speakers had said their part about the glory of the order and the hopes for a unified galaxy under the Supreme Leader and the order. You made sure to feign interest in the pretty speeches, but you weren’t much for the pomp and circumstance of his presentation. You busied yourself with admiring the decoration of the room, looking at the large swaths of scarlet fabric that hung from the ceiling, swooping down between chandeliers that illuminated the hall in warm light, creating a soft ambience. Despite the usual serious atmosphere the First Order emitted, this felt more intimate and casual. Red and black were obviously the core color palette, but softer greys and oranges were found in the details of the decor as well. 

Kylo stood while applause sounded after Pryde concluded his own speech. As the sound died down, Kylo made his way behind the podium to begin his own address. You focused on him, smiling in silent support as he began.

“I would like to thank the ministers of Onderon for welcoming us and hosting us tonight.”, he began, his voice steady and clear. 

Your attention was drawn from Kylo after a few moments as someone pointedly cleared their throat to your right. Hux was seated next to you and was peering at you, his face slightly turned to you. 

“General Hux.”, you nodded.

“Miss (y/n). It has been a short while since we last saw each other. I heard your mission went well enough.”, he said, his voice low.

“Yes, we were able to recover what Leader Ren was searching for. After some…  _ incidents. _ But we did make it back all in one place.”, you responded carefully.

“I am glad you did some back safely.”, he agreed.

_ Too bad Ren wasn’t killed, would have made everything so much easier _ , you heard him say. But he hadn’t actually spoken. You caught yourself before your face gave your confusion away. 

“...Thank you for your concern, General.”, you nodded at him.

He nodded back and turned forwards again. You were half listening to Kylo as you sat there, in mild shock that you had heard Hux’s thoughts. You knew it was possible with the Force, but you’d barely gotten into your training with Kylo to think you would be manifesting any particular abilities beyond those telekinetic instances. But something about what Hux had thought was sticking out to you. Aside from his death wish for Kylo, anyways. You glanced over to him briefly, his face looking more pinched than usual. You didn’t recall seeing his name on any of the lists you’d uncovered for Project Eternal, but you still felt a flash of suspicion. You made a note to try to keep better tabs on him.

Applause sounded again, drawing you from your thoughts and you clapped to maintain appearances as Kylo made his way back to his seat next to you. You smiled at him as he sat down.

“That was quite the speech.”, you said, leaning towards him so only he could hear you. “I think your aptitude for politics is far higher than you give yourself credit for.”

He huffed a small noise that only you knew was a laugh. He reached under the table to give your knee an affectionate squeeze. He removed his hand when server droids appeared to bring out carts laden with food to the tables. You sat back as a bowl of some creamy chowder was placed in front of you, the steam rising to warm your face. You inhaled the rich aroma and you were glad you had skipped lunch, the three course meal sure to fill you up. You hadn’t eaten anything like this before and you looked forward to see what the rest of the menu brought.

*

After finishing your  _ very  _ filling meal and dessert, the server droids were taking away the empty dishes and you were sipping on your glass of wine, the red liquid swirling around in your goblet. You watched as a part of the room beyond the tables was cleared and a string orchestra entered to take seats at the edge of the space. People rose from their tables to make their way over as players began a soft lilting tune. Couples stepped onto the floor to begin dancing to the music. Kylo touched your arm gently and you finished your glass as he rose up behind you to pull out your chair for you. Accompanying him from the table, you headed down to the floor to mingle with the other guests at their tables below.

You smiled as you and Kylo made your way through the throng of guests and officials who were eager to speak to the Supreme Leader and make their introductions to you. Your face was beginning to hurt from having to maintain your friendly smile for so long, but you managed to keep up the charade for a while longer as the bureaucrats discussed policy and trade negotiations with Kylo. While he was navigating the political waters, you tuned them out and tried to see if you could pull another mind reading stunt like you had with Hux earlier. But you weren’t even sure how you’d managed it in the first place. You took some slow deliberate breaths, trying to focus on each inhale and exhale as your heart rate slowed as well.

It would have been easier if you could have closed your eyes as you tried to block out the external stimuli, but you figured you would have to figure out how to use these new abilities so you could integrate them into your espionage skills eventually, so there was no better time like the present. You honed your consciousness in on the governor in front of you, his thin frame and lined face becoming the only thing you were registering in the room. You thought you could begin to hear the whispers of his voice, despite him currently listening to the conversation happening around you. You prodded forward, trying to keep the connection discreet so he would be unawares of your intrusion. All of a sudden, it felt as if the trickle of power you were trying to keep steady exploded into a flood and a cacophony of voices drowned your mind. It was deafening.

_ -Oh that meal was fantastic, but the wine they paired with it was much too dry- _

_-Please let them accept_ _this munitions proposition-_

_ -Hux still looks like he’s got a massive stick up his arse- _

_ -Hopefully these damn Imperial wannabes have got Organa on the run like they claim they do- _

Bits and pieces of thoughts overlapped and crowded inside your head, creating an intense pressure that made you feel like your head would split open at any second. You wrenched your hand from Kylo’s hand and you pressed your hands to the sides of your head, desperate to relieve the throbbing pain that spread through your skull. You sank to your knees, teeth clenched tightly. All you could feel was pain as you were overwhelmed by the voices of all the guests flooding into your brain.

_ -Is she okay?!- _

_ -I don’t know, she just collapsed suddenly!- _

_ -Serves her right, whore- _

Distantly, you thought you heard your name being called, the voice filled with worry. Your senses filled with static and you were being lifted by a pair of strong arms and carried. Your vision darkened and you panicked, thinking you were being blinded. The distant voice spoke soothing words, reassuring you that you were safe. The voices started to lower in volume, the words becoming harder to make out as they drifted away. You no longer felt like your head would explode, but a deep ache still thrummed at your temples.

A pair of callused hands rested over yours, while soft murmurs were spoken against the top of your head. Slowly, your vision cleared and you could only register the darkened room you were now sitting in. Kylo held you against him, coaxing you from the agony induced haze you had been in.

You slid your hands from under his and looked up at him. His emotions were a clutter of worry and anger at his own inability to help you more.

“What happened?”, he asked you, his voice strained as he tried to keep it low but distress sharpened his tone.

You swallowed against the dryness that pervaded your mouth before speaking.

“I was trying to listen to one of the minister’s thoughts and it backfired. I opened myself too much and I heard all of them.”, you answered weakly.

The crease in his brow increased.  _ He’s going to end up getting wrinkles prematurely if he doesn’t relax his face more _ , you thought amusedly to yourself.

“(Y/n), why were you trying to read his thoughts? How did you even manage that in the first place?”, Kylo questioned.

“Earlier when you were giving your speech, Hux spoke to me… His thoughts popped into my head. I hadn’t even been trying.”, you grumbled back. “I wanted to see if I could do it again, and I doubted the minister would even know what was happening.

“I see. Telepathy can be a troublesome ability just as much as it is useful. We’ll have to work on that when we can.”, he gave you a half smile before continuing again. “And for what it’s worth, you could have injured him as well as yourself. But let’s focus on closing your mind from that again. Close your eyes and focus on creating a barrier. Let nothing in, and nothing out. This will be useful against other Force users who would use it against you as well.”

You had closed your eyes as instructed, and thought about building a wall, making sure there were no cracks in it, that it shrouded your mind from any harm. You continued your construct, reinforcing as best as you could until a barrier of adamant was created. You felt Kylo nudge at it telepathically, checking for a way to break it. He found none.

“That’s… impressive.”, he begrudgingly praised.

You opened your eyes, looking at him.

“Is that why I didn’t hear your thoughts out there? You’ve guarded your mind too?”, you ask softly.

He hesitated, his expression turning more serious.

“Yes, it was drilled into me by Snoke. Fortifying my mind was one of my earliest lessons, especially after Luke had looked into my mind back then.”

You just nodded. You both sat there for a moment while your mind cleared and the memories of his past faded from his eyes.

“I’m not especially looking forward to going back out there after making a scene.”, you said, embarrassment warming your cheeks.

“We could always take an early leave. I wouldn’t object to that whatsoever.”, he offered.

“You’re the Supreme Leader, I don’t think that would go over very well.”, you deadpanned.

“That’s exactly why I can though. They wouldn’t dare question me for wanting to make sure you were alright.

You smiled and rolled your eyes.  _ This man _ , you thought.

“We should stick around for a while yet. Finish the rounds and then we can make our exit. I’ll be fine, but for diplomacy’s sake we should at least do what we came here to do.”, you reasoned.

He sighed and stood, holding his arm out to you. You rose from where you sat, tucking your hand in the crook of his elbow. You felt his heat warm your chilled skin and you settled closer next to him, letting his familiar scent fortify your nerves.

You walked back into the hall with your head held high, acknowledging those who expressed their relief at your being okay as you passed them. Kylo began to lead you back to the table, and you leaned in towards him.

“Where are we going?”, you murmured.

“You are going back to your seat, while I finish the ‘rounds’.”, he said with a smirk.

“ _ Kylo, I’m fine! _ ”, you hissed.

“You were barely even paying attention to the conversations in the first place, so I figured I’d save you from the boredom of it.”

Pulling your seat out for you again, Kylo gave you a pointed look. Sullenly, you sat back down in it and scooted back in. You thanked the stars that the table was mostly empty, the council members also out on the floor, striking up new deals with investors and facilitating back channel negotiations with political allies. While Kylo wasn’t wrong about your affinity for the political affairs being rather low, you were still put off by being made to sit on the sidelines. You promised to yourself you would make him regret it later. 

You watched as Kylo rejoined the group who he had been conversing with earlier. You sighed through your nose, thinking about excuses to slip away to try and gather intel the old fashioned way, no Force abilities needed. The chair that had been Hux’s slid back as someone took his place next to you. You looked over to see General Pryde at your side. Nodding at you, he looked out amongst the crowds and addressed you.

“It’s turned out to be quite a night, hasn’t it? I do believe I have you to thank for helping the Supreme Leader change his mind, isn’t that right?”, he pondered.

“And how did you come to that conclusion?”, you asked guardedly.

“He had been so thoroughly against it, and shortly after retiring to his chambers, where you were undoubtedly waiting, he gave the greenlight. It stands to reason that you had a hand in it. Don’t worry my dear, I simply wish to express my gratitude, nothing more. You’ve done us a great service with your actions.”, he responded.

You eyed him, unsure if you believed him. He had seemed harmless enough when he had been promoted to his new rank, but you were starting to get a feeling there might be more to him than you had first believed. 

Nodding at you again, he stood to take his leave. “Enjoy the rest of the night Miss (Y/N). I am glad to see you’re alright after your sudden collapse.”

You watched him walk away and join a group of other officers. You didn’t miss the way they spoke lowly and spotted a couple of them glance at you. Something wasn’t sitting right with you. You glanced at Kylo to see if he had seen the interaction, or even watching you now. He was deeply engrossed in some other discussion, having moved on to the next table of people. His back was turned to you, giving you the cover to slide out from your seat and skirt the edge of the room. You stepped lightly in your heels, looking to avoid drawing any attention as you made your way to the exit to the outdoor patio.

Stepping into the cool night air, you searched through the faces until you spotted your unwitting target. You snaked your way through the crowd to him before sidling up to the red head.

“General.”, you said in a hushed tone.

Hux started at your sudden appearance at his side. 

“ _ For kriff’s sake! _ You caught me off guard, agen- Miss (y/n).”, he cursed before lowering his voice, people’s gazes turned to the two of you from his exclamation. You smiled at his surprise.

“Apologies, I didn't mean to startle you. I was trying to be stealthy, but apparently I was too much so.”, you chuckled.

“Yes. Well, I have to agree with you on that matter. I was partially unaware of my surroundings, as I was lost in my thoughts, but you’ve certainly gotten my attention… Is there something you needed?”, he explained before looking at you warily as he realized you were alone and had been looking for him.

You gave him a small smile before responding.

“Walk with me?”, you asked coyly.

He looked at you with a hint of distrust, but offered his arm. Accepting it, you led him to a path that led away from the crowd. You walked past others as you looked for a secluded area to talk to the general.

“General, I’m curious about something, and I hope you might know more about it.”, you started.

You spotted an alcove in a garden, and you gently steered him towards it. You could feel his anxiety begin to rise, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. You sit down on a small bench situated inside. Hux remained standing, posture tense as he waited for you to continue. You let him sweat it out further as you smoothed out your skirt. Finally you looked up at him as he towered over you. You could see there was a faint sheen to his face. You were surprised you were able to put so much pressure on the normally cool headed man.

“Allegiant General Pryde, what is his story? I don’t think I know very much about him, and I’m quite curious about his sudden rise in rank.”, you asked him.

You saw his shoulders drop every so slightly, his posture losing some of its rigidness out of relief.  _ I know they all have secrets to hide, but it seems Hux has one that pertains to me or Kylo. Or the  _ both _ of us, _ you thought.

“Pryde? Why do you have an interest in him?”, Hux redirected.

You crossed your legs, letting the slit of your skirt reveal a bit more of your thigh and leaned forward conspiratorially.

“I’m just interested in knowing why he was promoted and you were not? You’ve always seemed extremely capable, and your ambition certainly exceeds his. Despite the loss of Starkiller Base, it was truly a project only one of your quality could preside over. Meanwhile, Pryde reveals himself to be a groveling fool with a mild penchant for strategy.”, you replied.

He quirked a brow at your response, and looked behind himself before taking a breath.

_ Got him _ .

“...You’re not wrong. He does his best to flatter the rest of the council and Ren. And I believe your  _ boyfriend _ only promoted him to slight me.”, he spat the word boyfriend at you. 

You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off. “The Allegiant General was one of those Imperial Remnant officers that served Palpatine in the old war and disappeared into hiding after the Battle of Jakku. As the First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire, Snoke had these officers waiting on reserve should he have needed them. They were brought in after Snoke’s assasination to fill the vacancies left in leadership. His knowledge of resistance strategy is useful, but it would not have been enough to promote him to his current rank without the support of the current Supreme Leader.”, he ranted.

Your expression remained neutral, but you were unsure of how to process this information. Pryde being one of the Imperial Remnants made sense, and made you even more suspicious of him. You knew that the First Order had roots in the former empire, the ideologies were so similar. But there was a part of you that felt that the First Order could rule the galaxy in a way that might actually benefit it more than the old empire or the republic ever could. Especially under Kylo’s rule. 

_ Especially with  _ you _ by his side _ , the thought flashed into your head unbidden. You felt your cheeks redden as it settled into you, refusing to leave.

“(Y/n).”

You pulled yourself from your thoughts to focus on Hux again. He looked down at you, eyes softer than you could have ever imagined them to be. His hand came to rest on your shoulder. You looked at it and back at his face.

“Why are you here, with me? Did you really bring me out here just to speak to me about Pryde?”, he murmured.

Your breath turned shallow, and you didn’t dare move a muscle. He slid down to a knee, his hand never leaving your shoulder. His face wasn’t far from your own, his breath tickling you. His brow was furrowed with concern.

“Has he hurt you? Did he force you to be with him?”, he asked, his tone accusing.

“What?”, you said, shocked.

“Ren. Did he force you into being in a relationship with him?”, the redhead replied.

“No. Kylo and I are together because I chose it.”, you responded, confused by his sudden accusations. Then it dawned on you. “Hux... are you envious?”, you said slowly.

His face smoothed into the neutral mask he wore regularly.

“What if I am? You’re an attractive young woman with remarkable skill. I would be remiss to not acknowledge how much you’ve done for the order and the loyalty you have shown. And you can’t exactly fault me for being suspicious of the sudden relationship you two suddenly have. He has proven to be a brute at almost every turn, his anger getting the better of him more often than not.”, he pointed out.

You gaped at him.

“I understand what it’s like to seek attention and power, but him? I could give you that, and not treat you like a plaything.”, he breathed.

“Who said he treats me like a plaything?”, you shot back.

“We all know what your particular skill set entails, (y/n). People talk, and it gets to the rest of us just as much as the lower officers and soldiers. You might think you’re in control, but at the end of the day, you’re still below him. Eventually he will tire of you. And when that day comes, I will be there, ready to pick up the pieces.”

His face had gotten even closer and his lips were a hairs’ breadth from yours when you felt your anger bubble up inside you. You thrust a hand towards his chest, and he went flying backwards with a surprised yelp. He landed in the bushes that had been behind you. You hadn’t even touched him. And then you felt the rumbling darkness that you knew so well standing up ahead. You looked back to the path to see Kylo standing there, seething. Knowing this would not end well without your intervention, you raced over to him before he could take two steps.

“Kylo,  _ no. _ Kylo, let’s go. I took care of it, and it’s not worth it.”, you warned.

“I’m going to kill him.”, he said, his eyes focused on the other man gathering himself from where he was pulling himself from the bushes, fury glittering in his own eyes. When he saw you standing against Kylo’s large frame, that anger died and was replaced by fear. 

“General, I do suggest you head back inside right now, unless you would like to be thrown against a wall rather than some topiaries.”, you cautioned.

Wisely, he hurried to another path leading away from the garden. Kylo started to raise an arm to use some sort of telekinetic attack against Hux, but you grabbed his wrist with one hand and gave him a hard slap across the cheek. He stopped, shock overriding his anger, and looked down at you. 

“ _ I. Took. Care. Of. It! _ ”, you grated out. “Leave it be Kylo! Murdering one of your generals at a diplomatic event will hardly cement any new alliances that weren’t secure already.”

You interlaced your fingers with the hand you had been holding.

“Trust me. I’ve handled situations like that before. I know it didn’t look good, but even if I hadn’t had the Force to help me, I could have still knocked him on his ass before his lips would have gotten any closer.”, you promised.

You watched as the remaining irritation left his face, and something like gratitude replaced it.

“I don’t doubt that. And watching you shove him off of you like that was definitely one of the more satisfying things I’ve seen.”, he sighed.

“The event is starting to get a little more casual now that guests have started to get further into their cups. I don’t think they’ll notice if we slip away now.”, he said, his hand pulling yours up to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, giving you a hopeful look.

“I hope you didn’t leave the others in the lurch again when you came looking for me?”, you questioned.

“No, it wasn’t until I was finished that I noticed. And that one of the minister’s wives asked where you had slipped off to. She was concerned you might have had another episode.”, he explained.

“Ah. No, I needed some fresh air and when I saw Hux, I grabbed him. I had some questions for him.”, you said.

“Questions?”

“About a mission report from before we left. There had been some discrepancies that had cropped up in another agent’s report and we needed to smooth them out.”, you lied smoothly.

“And you so you asked him here, instead of back on the  _ Steadfast _ ?”

“The way you and the council have been so busy, I wasn’t sure I’d get another chance.”, you replied quickly.

He still seemed a little uncertain if he should believe you, so you changed the subject fast.

“You know, this dress is great, but it’s a little tighter after that ridiculously large meal. Think you could help me get a little more comfortable?”, you teased.

His eyes widened a bit at that and the next thing you knew, he was leading you by the hand back to the patio and to the dock.

*

You thanked the stars for the partition concealing the two of you from the transport’s driver. You were sitting on Kylo’s lap, your hands in his hair, tongue in his mouth. You were dragging the most delicious moans from him. His hands were on your thighs, thumbs rubbing slow circles into your legs, one through the fabric and the other on your bare skin. You weren’t sure if you liked his bare hands or the gloves better anymore. The feeling of the warm, supple material gliding along your body was just as exquisite as the rough skin of his palms scuffing the sensitive parts of your body.

His tongue moved in sync with yours, and you sucked on it, the lewd sound and feeling making him dig his fingers into your flesh harder. You dragged your nails along his scalp and licked down his jawline towards his neck at the same time, earning a groan from his throat. You worked open his collar and scraped your nails down his head to his throat and wrapped your hands around the exposed column of his pale skin. Applying pressure to his windpipe, you ground into him, letting your wetness soak through your panties onto his growing erection. He bit his lip to suppress the moan that reverberated under your hands. You squeezed him a little tighter and leaned into his ear.

“ _ Hands on my breasts _ ,  _ now. _ ”, you whispered as he tried to swallow under your grip.

Those leather covered hands found their way to your chest, palming you through the dress. He pulled your cape over the back of your shoulder when it got in the way, and dipped into the V of your dress. Fingers pinched your nipples, playing and teasing them until they were so stiff and bruised they were aching. You were grinding into him hard, your breath coming out in shallow gasps. His face was growing a dark shade of red, so you eased your hands from his throat to further open his shirt, the broad pane of his chest coming into view. You grasped the hair at the base of his head with a hand to turn his face to the side so you nip at his neck and his collarbones. You slipped your other hand down to your panties and slid down into them to rub your clit.

You whined into his chest as you continued to straddle him, playing with yourself and teasing him. Your head fell back while your mouth opened in a noiseless moan, your ecstasy mounting. One of his hands pulled out of the top of your dress to grab your hand from your underwear and drag the dripping digits to his mouth. He sucked your fingers, tasting you. It pushed you to the edge, and you clamped a hand over your mouth, fighting back the urge to moan loudly. The thought of the driver being so close by heightened the depravity of your actions, making you cum even harder. Tears leaked from your eyes as you trembled in Kylo’s lap. Your fingers slipped from his lips and his mouth found the spot where your neck met your shoulder. He sucked the spot intently, making a mark of his own.

You slowed your breathing, willing your heart rate to slow as well.

He murmured into your neck, “We’re coming up to the room now.”

You hummed, eager to help him find his own release. You pulled yourself from his lap and he stood to get out the door. You bit your lip as you noticed the darkened spot of fabric on his crotch where your orgasm soaked through to his trousers. You also noted the bulge that was hidden behind it as well. He exited the vehicle, stepping onto the private platform that led to your room. You slid to the exit from your seat, letting him help you from the transport onto the platform. He closed the door and the driver took off after confirming you had both made it out.

Walking into the room beyond the balcony, Kylo stopped you in the lounge area, his hand circling your wrist. He leaned down to your ear, his breath tickling the shell of it.

“Go get on the bed, and keep the dress on. I’m taking the lead now.”

A shiver of anticipation ran down your spine.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”


	20. "Careful, Love"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You continue back from where you left off, and Kylo is learning fast all the best ways to make you squim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter compared to the last few, but it starts off right where we left off last chapter, and things are starting to ramp up even more with the plot. Not gonna lie, its gonna kinda hurt soon. Sorry.
> 
> Hang in there though! It's going to get worse before it gets better, right? Right? 
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and love you all have been giving my story! I can't believe we've gotten this far, and now here we are 20 chapters in. I'm projecting the story ending in about 10 more chapters, but who knows, this story has evolved and grown so much since I started it and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if it grows again. 
> 
> I will say that I've been working on this and my other fic nearly every day and it's been so much fun writing and exploring these characters outside of canon, while still trying to be faithful their characterizations in the movies as well. And if you've read my Mando fic, and you're a fan of that too, I just want to share that I will be adding a few more additional chapters to that eventually, likely after season 2 comes out. I don't think it will be more than 3 or 4 chapters since I will be focusing on finishing Control and then devoting myself even more to my WIP Across the Stars. That story is delving deep into my own character's story and I will eventually be posting the first few chapters to AO3 later this year.
> 
> ANYWAYS, enjoy this new chapter, a whole day earlier than I had planned <3  
> -Stevie

Reclining on the giant bed, your bed was practically humming in anticipation of what was to come. You had removed the ruby necklace and placed it in the drawer of the night stand for safekeeping, in case things got a little too rough when he came back in. He didn’t take charge very often, more often letting you lead, but when you did let him, it was  _ good _ . More than good. He’d taken cues from you, mirroring some of your methods in the bedroom. The only difference was that he was obedient while you proved to be much more of a brat. He had learned quite quickly that you would fight back, making him overpower you in most instances. 

You clenched your thighs together as those memories heated your body. Heavy footsteps sounded in the room beyond, coming closer with every moment. Finally his figure stood in the doorway, drinking in the image of you on the bed, waiting for him. You saw his eyes zone in on the purpling love bite on your just above your collarbone, his pupils dilating possessively. You spread your legs back open, the left one slipping out from the slit of the skirt. He sucked in a breath and closed the space between the bed and him in quick, long strides. He knelt on the edge of the bed, fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt, gaze focused entirely on you. 

You trailed a hand up and down your exposed thigh tantalizingly. Your wrists flew up of their volition to above your head on the headboard you were sitting against. Taken by surprise, you tried to pull them down but they were pinned there. You looked back at Kylo, his torso now visible. A feral glint shone in his darkened eyes, and he crawled up the bed to kneel between your open legs. He grabbed your left ankle and pulled your leg up to his face, kissing your ankle and inner calf before scraping his teeth down the flesh as well. 

Your breathing turned ragged and you tried to pull your leg away from him, but he held it fast. 

“ _ Behave _ .”, he growled against your leg. You gave him a cocky little grin before using your free leg to try and push him off.

“No.”, you taunted.

“Careful Love, I will  _ make you _ , if I have to.”, he warned.

You licked your lips. “Then do it.”, you replied.

Pulling your legs over his shoulders, he ducked down and pulled your skirt up to reveal your scantily clad sex. A sheer lacy thong was all you had on underneath the dress besides the knife holster. He nipped at your hip and pulled the holster and lingerie down your legs and threw them behind him on the floor. He instantly had his mouth on you, pushing his tongue inside of you, aggressively lapping at you. Your head slammed against the wood, making you see stars for a moment as you felt your hips lift from the bed. Your arms strained from holding your torso up while your legs were supported by Kylo’s shoulders. You groaned and whined, wishing your hands were free to grab his hair while he ate you out. One of his hands went under your ass to support your lower back while the other found its way to your cunt, slipping a couple fingers inside while his tongue moved up to tease your clit. Your hips began bucking against his face, your voice going higher as you felt your second orgasm rise and grow quickly.

Your hips dropped back to the bed, your body crying out from the loss of contact. A strangled cry of desperation left your mouth, a pout forming on your lips. He stared down at you with a look of amusement playing on his face. He let you sit there, squirming, trying to regain any friction you could. 

“Well? Are you going to listen, Love?”, he asked, voice low and gravelly.

You shook your head slowly, not ready to give in quite yet.

The hold on your wrists released, your arms falling to the bed tired from being above your head for so long. You tried to sit up further against the headboard, but he quickly grabbed your legs again, pulling you down the bed towards him, your skirt getting dragged further up your waist as he did. You were tugged to the edge of the bed, where he undid your belt and tossed it aside as well, the blaster attached to it thumping onto the floor carelessly. You struggled against him, riling him up even more. He grabbed your waist with both hands and twisted you off from your back and onto your stomach, your legs dangling over the side of the bed. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up so your ass was up in the air, face down on the bed. Your arms were too weak to push your torso up, so you lay there while he shucked his gloves off while you determined your next move.

You wiggled your ass at him, eager to piss him off more. That did the trick because a sharp smack against your right cheek jolted through the rest of your body. Another flat palmed spank landed on your left one, the sharp and quick pain making you cry out. You felt him lean down, teeth biting the ample flesh before his mouth was on your cunt again, tongue dragging up your clit and entrance. Then he stood up again to deliver another spank across your ass, a moan erupting from inside you.

“Be a good girl, and you’ll get what you want. Understand?”, he hummed, punctuating his question with a press of his hips against you. You felt his erection through his pants, making you shudder with want.

“Kylo, please. I’ll be a good girl for you.”, you begged. 

Another sharp smack. You whined.

“Ask me properly, Love.”

You bit your lip.

“Please, sir, give me your cock.”, you breathed. 

He leaned down over you, his mouth next to your ear. You heard his belt being unbuckled, and your skin erupted in gooseflesh.

“ _ Good girl _ .”, he whispered, teeth nipping at the shell of your ear.

He swiped two fingers along your folds to make sure you were nice and wet before thrusting forward, his throbbing cock impaling you fully. You moaned into the mattress, biting the soft sheets. Your back arched, the position letting you feel every inch of him inside you. He groaned as you clamped down on him.

“ _ Shit _ , you’re so tight, Love.”, he murmured, pulling out a bit before slamming back into you. Your mind turned hazy from the overwhelming pleasure, unable to think about anything but the sensation of him fucking you from behind. You lifted your head to look back at him, but he pressed you back down into the mattress, snapping his hips into yours even harder. The fingers gripping your hips dug in even further, his nails marking you with little crescents. You cried out with every thrust, feeling him angle himself so he seemed to hit deeper every time. 

“Yes, yes,  _ yes, right there _ ! Fuck me right there,  _ mmmmmnnnnngh _ .”, you moaned.

He pulled out of you, leaving you bereft from the loss of him filling you again. You whimpered when he let go of you, desperate for your release. He hauled you into his arms, sitting down where you had been laying and placed you into his lap, still facing away from him. 

“Look at yourself in the mirror.”, he instructed. You looked at the mess you’d become as you sat in his lap. Your hair was mussed up, makeup smeared in places, your face flushed. His face appeared next to yours, his strong features in a mask of predatory possessiveness. In this moment, you saw him as the hunter playing with his prey. The polarity of the role reversal made you feel helpless and it surprised you how much you didn’t hate it. A large hand skimmed up your leg to your cunt, slipping its middle finger inside you to curl and rub the sensitive spot hidden inside you. Your eyes fluttered as the stimulation made your body go tense, the pleasure building again. He slid the finger out and placed it against your lips.

“Clean it.”, he murmured.

You opened your mouth to suck the slick digit clean. He nuzzled your ear as he reached under the neckline of the dress to knead your breast. You closed your eyes and felt your hips grind on his lap eager for friction. The finger in your mouth slipped out and the hand dropped to your throat, wrapping around your neck.

“No, open your eyes. I want you to see just how filthy you are.”

You moaned and opened your eyes again, biting your lip. 

“I want you to put me inside of you and then ride me like the whore you are.”, he directed you again.

You pulled your legs off of his lap and onto the mattress next to his thighs and reached down to wrap your fingers around his girth and to position it at your entrance. You sank your hips down and inserted him into you. You panted as he filled you once again, watching it all in the reflection of the mirror. It felt so different, so sinful to watch yourself like this. His grip on your neck tightened as you clamped around him. Swiveling your hips, you rose up and sank back down on him, riding him like he had told you to. You watched as his length disappeared and reappeared from inside your cunt. It spurred you to pick up the pace, and you grabbed his free arm and wrapped it around your waist for support while you bounced on him. 

Needing to touch him more, you rested your arm on his along your midsection and the other into his hair, loving the way his soft tresses felt in your fingers. You were the picture of debasement in the mirror, eyes half lidded, mouth slack as you moaned his name, face flushed, skin shining with sweat, all while you used Kylo’s body for your pleasure. He murmured words of encouragement into your hair and ear, all while his eyes watched you come further undone. 

“You’re doing so good, Love. I love watching you ride my cock. Fucking yourself on my cock.”, he pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. “I want to watch you cum as you ride me. Be a good girl and cum for me, okay?”

His hand drifted from your neck to your clit to rub it. It sent a shockwave through you, eliciting a gasp from you. You hummed as he sent you to the edge. It was like a tidal wave, slow and then all at once, your body released the tension that had built up. You were so overcome with your orgasm, you could only release shuddering breaths before a low groan came from you. You felt boneless, lighter than air in the moment as Kylo came quickly after you. He hissed a breath into your neck, biting it to stifle his own sounds. You managed to focus your eyes on the mirror again, looking at your spent selves. 

His eyes met yours there, their depths full of emotions.

“I love you, (y/n).”

You let yourself rest against him, turning your head to press a kiss against his cheek.

“I love you Kylo.”, you echoed.

And just as quickly as the intimate moment had come, it was interrupted by the sound of Kylo’s commlink beeping an urgent call from the lounge area.

“I told them I was not to be interrupted.”, he said, irritation lacing his voice.

Being a bit more pragmatic, you stood up from his embrace. 

“It must be urgent then.”, you smoothed your dress and hurried into the other room to retrieve the device from the table it had been left on. You walked quickly back into the room and handed it to him after he finished adjusting his own appearance. He pressed the answer button.

“What is it?”, he answered, voice severe.

“Apologies Supreme Leader, but I have urgent news. The gala… it was just bombed.”, the officer on the other end announced, voice tight.

You went rigid at the news, your breath catching.

“How?”, Kylo grated out.

“We are entirely sure yet, sir. We’re working on S and R right now. The structure has collapsed and is still too unstable to complete any in-depth investigation without risking the lives of guests still trapped inside. Resistance involvement is suspected, of course, but we’re not ruling out other possibilities as well.”, the officer explained.

“Who was still inside?”

“A few council members, other ranking officers, some stormtroopers. Quite a few of the Onderon government officials as well, according to incoming reports. Allegiant General Pryde and General Hux were found with minor injuries, but are mostly unscathed. A list is being compiled of guests and staff who were onsite to reference who has been confirmed found alive and those dead, as well as those still missing.”, he continued.

“Good. Prepare for my arrival. I will be there shortly.” Kylo commanded.

“Understood, sir.”

Kylo pressed the end call button. He looked at you, his mouth a thin line.

“Stay here.”, he said.

You would have argued if not for the pleading look in his eyes. You just nodded silently. Satisfied with your answer, he strode into the closet to change.

*

Only a few minutes after Kylo left, you slipped out of the dress and laid it on the bed. You felt slightly chilled standing naked in the room, mind numb from shock. You had supposed it made sense for an attack to happen with so many high profile enemy targets gathered in one place, but the fact remained that the Resistance was still smarting from their losses months ago. It seemed highly unlikely they would have the kind of firepower and resources to attack such a highly guarded event. Multiple First Order battlecruisers and defense craft, including the  _ Steadfast _ , were stationed above the planet, aside from Onderon’s own navy. It didn’t escape you that if you hadn’t left when you had, there was a good chance the two of you could have been seriously injured. A shiver ran through you.

You walked into the ‘fresher and turned on the shower before moving to stand in front of the vanity. You grabbed a washcloth and makeup remover, scrubbing the smudged remains from your face. Mind still pondering over the possibilities of what could have happened, you stepped under the hot water. You closed your eyes under the stream and inhaled the steam, letting it clear your mind for a moment. The blessed warmth soaked into your body, chasing the chill from your bones. 

You cleaned yourself off quickly after a few minutes of standing there, letting your mind focus on what to do next. Kylo was off at the site, overseeing the situation, and likely starting to search for clues for the cause and perpetrators. You still felt like something was off. As far as you had been aware, public knowledge of the gala was limited to the event occurring, but the location had been hidden to at least protect the other guests. So while it appeared that the information had been leaked to those who wanted to see the First Order destroyed, it still seemed hard to believe that the Resistance had been behind this particular attack. 

Or maybe it had been, and you weren’t giving them enough credit. But your mind turned to the interaction you’d had with the Jedi and the pilot back on Felucia. Rey had seemed genuine in her concern. Some instinct in you told you to trust them. And that your interactions with the two generals could hold more meaning than you originally anticipated. You desperately wished you’d brought your datapad with you. It might have been stupid, but the idea of contacting the Jedi to meet with her and ask her questions was becoming a more serious. 

But for now, all you could do was wait for Kylo to return, to bring what news he could. You changed into a blacl silk nightgown and wrapped a matching robe around you to keep you warm in the open air lounge. Before heading into the other room, you retrieved the necklace from the drawer you had left it in and placed it back around your neck. It felt warm in your palm. 

You entered the other room and stepped into the sunken area of the room where the circular couch resided. You grabbed the blanket slung over the back of the furniture and curled up into one corner. You pulled the blanket over your body and up to your chin, lavishing in the soft warmth it provided. You watched as ships flew overhead, high in the sky, their lights glinting among the stars that were visible. Distantly, you could hear TIE’s screaming in the night, security likely having been increased after the attack. 

Thoughts of Kylo entered your mind. You hoped he was safe, despite his being more than capable of taking care of himself, the anxiety of harm coming to him still latched itself to your thoughts. Exhaustion set in after a while, overwhelmed by all of the events of the night. 

_ This war needs to end soon, otherwise I’ll have to sleep for a year to make up for the loss of rest it’s causing _ , you thought to yourself with a weak smile.

Your eyes drifted shut, the need for sleep overriding your good judgement which warned you to stay awake and wait for Kylo. Soon you were half asleep, teetering on the edge of lost consciousness.

“Miss.”

Your eyes snapped open at the voice speaking to you. Your hand reached for a blaster that wasn’t there before registering the familiar face in front of you. Vicrul stood in front of you, scythe held at his side. His face was set in a grave expression.

“Wha-, where’s Kylo?”, you asked, mind still foggy.

“We need to go. Now. It’s not safe here anymore. Master Ren has requested that I take you to the  _ Buzzard _ immediately.”, he responded.

You looked at him, confused. He held a hand out to you.

“Quickly, please.”, he insisted.

You took his hand, letting him pull to your feet. He kept his hand on yours, beginning to pull you along.

“Wait, Vicrul, let me grab my pistol, just in case.”, you said, pulling towards the bedroom.

“There isn’t time. We have more on the ship.”, he pressed on, his grip tightening on yours. 

“Has something happened?”, you asked, suddenly nervous. Vicrul was normally calm and collected, but something seemed to have rattled him to be this insistent.

“There was another attack.”

Your eyes widened in fear at the revelation.

“Kylo-”, you started.

“He’s alright. He’s going to meet us back on the  _ Steadfast _ . But we have to make haste.”

You let out a sigh of relief and hurried your steps as you were pulled into a small transport. You sat down and buckled into the seat and watched at Vicrul started the vehicle. You took off from the dock and headed towards the tree line of the forest that skirted the city. The night was quiet aside from the hum of the engine as you descended into the woods. You were glad for the robe that protected your arms from the chilly air that clung to the rest of your skin.

The dark outline of the  _ Night Buzzard  _ came into view, the sight relieving some of the anxiety that had been making your stomach churn. Setting the small transport on the edge of the clearing, you climbed out of the passenger seat and headed to the ramp leading into the ship. You were eager to change into something warmer than the thin fabric currently covering your body. The cold metal bit into your bare feet and you further inside. Trudgen sat on the couch, looking at some reports on the holoprojector. He nodded at you as you passed, and you returned it to him. You felt the ship lift off as you made it to your Kylo’s room, the hum of the engines revving vibrating through the floor. 

You opened his closet and pulled out the dark blue sweater he’d worn back on Arkanis. You pulled it over the nightgown, the too big shirt falling to your knees. Kylo’s scent was still clinging to it, and you held the sleeves up to your face, letting the smell further settle your frayed nerves.

_ He’s okay _ , you reassured yourself. 


	21. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit has finally hit the fan. And you don't know what you're going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. OKAY, IT'S HAPPENING.
> 
> I'm so sorry.
> 
> You thought we were safe for a while yet, didn't you? 
> 
> You were wrong. 
> 
> Let the pain train BEGIN. Also, is that a small Kylo POV I see?
> 
> -Stevie

The  _ Night Buzzard  _ docked not too long after leaving Onderon, and you scooted off of your place in Kylo’s bed to head out into the hangar outside. You passed Trudgen again in the lounge, his helmet now on, standing to exit the ship as well. He followed you through the hall to the door, pressing the button on the control panel to release the ramp. The hairs on the back of your neck rose as he brushed close to you, your instincts screaming that something was off. The door wasn’t half way open when you tensed, prepared to run when the large knight pulled you into a bodylock and hauled you down the ramp where a platoon of troopers stood waiting, blasters aimed towards you. At the head of the formation was Pryde, standing with his swagger stick under his arm.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? LET ME GO.”, you yelled your captor.

Two troopers stepped forward, helping Trudgen restrain you as a pair of binders were slapped on your wrists behind you by another. You shouted angrily, cursing, and a hand slapped over your mouth. The knight pinched your face in his fingers tightly, silencing you. General Pryde stepped forward, his expression stony as he spoke to you.

“I would suggest that you not fight so much my dear, it will only serve to make this more difficult for you. I apologize for the necessary roughness, but it has come to our attention that you have been investigating things that you have no business in.”, he explained. “Not to mention your involvement with the Supreme Leader has outlived its’ usefulness.”

You narrowed your eyes at him hatefully. It seems your suspicion hadn’t been unfounded, and his treachery far deeper than you’d imagined.

“Lock her up in the detention block. We have use for her yet.”, he replied with a wave of his hand.

Trudgen’s hand fell from your mouth as the general walked away, falling onto your shoulder to lead you away.

“You’re not getting away with this.”, you spat.

You ducked out from the knight’s grip, launching yourself at the traitorous general’s back. You slipped your cuffed arms under your legs as you ran at him, raising the heavy binders at his head, ready to bash him over the head with them. A shot rang out, a blue ring hitting you in the chest, knocking you unconscious before you were able to follow through with your attack.

*

You woke up minutes later, slung over a black clad shoulder. You might have been awake but the effect of the stun blast still left your limbs feeling incredibly heavy. Footsteps echoed around you and you saw the white armored legs of troopers walking behind the man carrying you. You quickly realized it was Trudgen, the knight’s armor immediately recognizable.

“ _What-_ _urgh_ \- _the_ _HELL_ , Trudgen.”, you slurred, tongue feeling like lead in your mouth.

He didn’t respond, continuing his march forward, unperturbed. You felt like the room was spinning, and you closed your eyes again to try and stop it. Proving a futile effort, you opened your eyes again and tried to twist your head to look around. It looked like you were in the lower levels of the ship, passing doors you knew too well. You were on the prison level, and you recalled the allegiant general’s instructions. You were going to be locked up in one of these cells. You knew that you were in for a hell of a time, and you couldn’t begin to guess how long your stay was going to be. 

Not interested in finding out, you tested your fingers and toes, seeing if the feeling was starting to come back to try and attempt an escape when Trudgen adjusted you on his shoulder.

“Don’t waste your time.”, he grunted.

You stiffened in his arms, blood chilling.

Not even a moment later he stopped in front of a detention cell and you heard the door hiss open. The troopers entered first, their boots walking past you. You heard the click of locks opening and then Trudgen entered into the cell and shrugged you off his shoulder and onto a cold slab of metal. The binders were removed and your wrists yanked into the restraints. The stormtroopers knelt and restrained your ankles as well. The cold metal dug into your joints painfully, but you stared at the wall behind them while they checked the locks.

The soldiers left the room after a moment, leaning you alone with the knight still standing in front of you. You pulled your gaze to him, feeling deathly calm. 

“Well?”, you asked. 

“Well what?”, he responded. 

“Is this really how it’s going down? The Knights of Ren hiding secrets from their master? Hiding traitors from him while they scheme in the shadows of how to best remove him? Stuffing me in a cell until they decide I’m  _ useful _ again?”, you spat. 

“We’re not deposing him. Just the opposite. We’re making sure he gets what he wants. Control of the galaxy. And an empire far greater than the old one. You just got too close. Too close to the truth, and too close to him. We thought the diversion from the Jedi girl would be good for him, but then came the attachment. Now he’s distracted from the true path. It is a shame though. You were fun to play with, but you’ve too much light in you. Master Ren might not have noticed it, but we did.”

Your brown creased slightly. 

“Light?”, you asked. 

“It calls to you. We’ve all sensed it.”

He paused, turning his head to the door. 

“Time to go. See you next time, Miss (y/n). Though, probably not.”

He headed towards the exit. 

“What are they going to do to me?”, you called out. 

“Who knows. Nothing good I hope.”, he replied with a dark chuckle. 

The door slid open and then closed behind him, leaving you alone. Despite the sweater, you felt colder than you had ever been before. Your stomach churned anxiously. 

“Shit.”, you uttered aloud to no one. 

*

It was a week before anything happened. Or at least what you assumed had been a week. There was no chronometer in the cell and none of the troopers who brought you food would tell you. They came in occasionally to let you off the rack for your meager meals and the occasional use of the vacctube in the corner, their eyes and blasters trained on you the whole time. Then you’d be strapped back in and left for any number of hours later for the next break. The glow panels were never dimmed, leaving you to fight for sleep in the brightly lit room on the metal rack that provided no comfort. 

You had tried to pry information from the troopers during their infrequent visits regarding the time or what was to be done with you, but after getting no answers, you’d stopped bothering. All that mattered now was trying to maintain your sanity. The passage of time became foreign to you, and your strength was waning from lack of nutrition and proper rest. This form of torture was familiar to you, and you knew you just had to endure as best you could between the gnawing in your stomach and the exhaustion that sat behind your eyes. Remember the good things, keep your thoughts away from the bad.

You tried not to think too much about Kylo, but it was hard not to wonder where he was and what was happening outside of your cell. You had tried a couple of times to reach out to him through the Force, searching for some scrap of your bond to call him to you. But there wasn’t anything to be found. Either you were too weak, or he wasn’t to be found on the ship. You cursed yourself for not trying harder to gain more knowledge and experience with your attunement to the Force and the abilities it had granted you.

It stung, knowing you had a power that people could only dream of, and being so incredibly powerless despite it. You were angry with yourself for getting too comfortable, for not working harder to understand this connection. For not pushing Kylo to train you more, for letting yourself think you had time. And you were mad at him. For distracting you just as much as you’d distracted him. For not being here now. You knew that last part was irrational, because how could have known? But feelings made you think irrationally, didn’t they?

The next time the doors opened, a face you weren’t expecting strode in behind the guards. Green eyes in a pale face regarding you with distaste. You laughed in disbelief.

“Hello Armitage.”, you greeted sweetly.

“Agent.”, he answered with a sneer. 

“To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?”, you asked sarcastically, 

“Do cut the shit, (y/sn), we both know why I’m here.”, he scoffed. Such a far cry from the attitude he’d had back in the garden. 

“Project Eternal.”

He nodded stiffly. 

“You know, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while I’ve been stuck on here. The Resistance had nothing to do with the attack on Onderon, did they? It seems awfully convenient you and Pryde survived with barely any injuries.”, you pondered aloud.

He walked around you until he stood behind the rack. 

“You were always my best agent, (y/n), it is a shame your skills have led you to your own demise. Well, that and your datapad. That particular negligence is so uncharacteristic of you. It seems you let Ren distract you too. But now it’s been decided how to dispose of you efficiently.”

“You shall be a martyr for the cause. As far as Ren is aware, you’ve been kidnapped by the rebels who attacked the gala and are currently being held as a prisoner of war. He is on the warpath, searching desperately for you. Meanwhile, you are to be executed and your body dumped on a local planet to further his need to wipe out the Resistance in order to avenge you. While your death will be quick, it will have meaning that will outlive you. I feel it seems a bit melodramatic, but Ren is quite dramatic himself, isn’t he?”

You felt your eyes burn and you bit the inside of your cheek. Hux circled back around to stand in front of you again, a small smirk of triumph now curling his lips. He leaned in towards you, lips next to your ear. 

“Are you regretting your rejection of me yet?”

He leaned back a little to look at your face. You glared at him before giving him a half smile. You butted your head against his face, smashing his nose. He squawked and staggered back, hand flying to his nose where blood spurted from it. He spat blood onto the floor and glowered at you.

“Remove her. We’re leaving immediately.”, Hux ordered, voice even more nasally now. He pulled out a kerchief and held it to his bloody nose.

You just smirked at the general while they unlocked the restraints and shackled you with a pair of binders. Your wrists and ankles sported matching bruises, but you managed to hold back your wince as they burned under the weight of the binders. Shoving you forward, you followed Hux out into the hall, the troopers behind you, watching your every step. Your eyes darted around, looking for some method of escape or a distraction, anything to stay your impending death. 

But no such opportunity presented itself, and soon you were in a small hangar, where a shuttlecraft awaited. You were ushered inside and strapped into a seat across from Hux while the troopers stationed themselves near the door. The shuttle quickly sailed out of the battlecruiser and into the black. 

The flight was surprisingly quick, turbulence jostling the craft as it entered the atmosphere of the location they chose. You glanced at Hux across from you. He quickly looked away as you caught him staring at you. 

_ Probably imagining all the ways he can make me suffer before he makes them kill me _ , you thought bitterly.  _ Worth it _ .

The ship landed after a couple minutes and you were quickly unbuckled and pulled from your seat. You found yourself blinking against the bright light of three suns sitting high in the sky as they pulled you out of the shuttle. Your luck was truly shit. Petrified trees towered around the field you were standing in, too far for you to attempt to run for cover behind. You recognized the environment quickly. You’d flown over these spires before, just a little over a month ago. 

They’d brought you to Batuu. It was ironic in a way. You’d nearly died the last time you’d been here and now it seemed fate was determined to finish the job. You were shoved onto your knees and a nose of a blaster rifle was pressed into your back. You tried to rally your strength, willing some part merciful of the Force to aid you like it had back in the outpost on Felucia. But nothing came, leaving you feeling empty. 

“On my command.”, you head Hux say. 

You took a breath and closed your eyes. 

_ At least he knows I loved him _ , you thought with surprising calm. 

“Aim.”

A blaster was cocked. You prepared yourself for the pain and then the inevitable nothingness. Before the final command, a shot was discharged, followed by another. 

No pain came. You opened your eyes. The field stretched out around you still. You whipped your head around to see the two troopers laying behind you, sprawled out with smoking holes in the back of their helmets. Hux dropped his arm to his side, blaster in his hand. 

“I apologize for my behavior in the garden. It was… unbecoming.”, he said tersely.

You could only stare in disbelief. He tossed a bag at your feet.

“There are clothes inside, a pistol, and other items I thought you might have needed.”, he said. “I suggest you hurry. Goodbye, (y/n).” 

He turned back to the shuttle, leaving you with the bag and the bodies. Not willing to stick around, you grabbed the bag and took off to the tree line. You ran until you found yourself deep in the forest. Breathing raggedly, you collapsed against one of the trees, and opened the pack. Digging around inside, you found what Hux had promised. A pair of dark brown trousers, a tan loose shirt, and a brown leather jacket were folded inside, along with a blaster pistol tucked into the jacket. 

And at the bottom you found a pair of boots. The boots that housed the two holocrons. You reached inside and pulled out the datastick Rey had given you and your secret datapad. And at the bottom, the holocrons pulsed with their blue glow.

“How…”, you trailed off. There wasn’t any time to worry about that now. You were alive thanks to him and right now you had to get as far away as possible. For a brief moment, you thought to contact Kylo, but you knew that was too risky, as they would be monitoring him closely after finding out you had escaped. You looked at the data stick in your hand. They were the only ones you could trust right now. Even if that trust was barely there to begin with. 

*

You weren’t sure returning to Black Spire Outpost was the best idea, but unfortunately, it was the only thing you could do. It seemed that while it was being occupied by the First Order, they’d allowed some semblance of normalcy to return to the small town. You noticed there were a handful of patrolling stormtroopers around, but not as many as you would have guessed. 

You remembered Hux mentioning Kylo being on the offensive against the Resistance. Which meant they must have needed the majority of their numbers wherever they were now. And now the numbers here were spread thin. Perhaps the Force  _ was _ looking out for you. You entered into the market and walked around a bit, keeping your head low, avoiding attention. Pulling some moves you hadn’t used since your days on Corellia, you deftly picked a few shoppers’ pockets, managing to scrounge together a decent amount of credits. 

You tossed the empty wallets and change purses into an open crate as you passed by, glancing around to make sure no one had spotted you. Spotting a couple of patrolling troopers coming through the crowd, you quickly ducked into a shop. The bored looking owner looked up by way of greeting before looking back down at her holopad. You wandered around, perusing the various odds and ends that were on display. You eyed a couple of hats and caps, trying them on, looking for something to help conceal your face. You settled on one that had a low brim. You grabbed a scarf as well, and headed to the counter. The owner gave you a quick once over as she bagged your items. 

“You look a little rough there, hun. You doin’ okay?”, she asked, wrinkled brow furrowing in concern.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Just on a long delivery run, had to make a stop in town to pick up some supplies. Headed to the cantina next. I could really use a strong cup of caf.”, you lied.

“Oga’s got the best Spiran Caf in the system, you’ll be awake in no time.”, she chuckled.

Without warning, a door in the back burst open. A pretty dark skinned girl with short, blue tipped black hair came in, trying to catch her breath. You stared as she leaned against the wall, her chest heaving. The shop owner glanced at you nervously before hurrying over to her.

“ _ Vi, what have I said about coming in here unannounced? I’ve got a customer, and what if she’d been an officer? _ ”, she whispered furiously at the girl.

“ _ As if an officer would come in this dump. _ ”, the girl joked.

Noticing you, the girl turned to look at you. Her eyes grew large with recognition. Just as she reached down to pull her blaster from its harness, you already had yours aimed at her. It was then you noticed the starbird on her bright orange jacket.

“You’re with the Resistance.”, you breathed, eyes still focused on the symbol on her lapel.

“And you’re the girl Ren is destroying the galaxy for.”, she accused.

You looked up at her face at that comment. 

“So it is true.”, you breathed.

You holstered your blaster and held your hands up in surrender.

“What are you doing?”, the rebel began, confusion scrunching her features.

“I’m surrendering myself to you. I need to speak with Rey. Immediately.”, you replied.

*

Blaster fire rained down on the seven of them, their weapons blocking the bolts when they weren’t able to dodge them. It didn’t take long for the leader of the pack to breach the line, slicing and impaling the rebel force with his crimson blade. He pulled one to him telekinetically, his hand grabbing the Zabrak around the throat and slashing down the male’s torso. People shouted over the sounds of the battle for retreat and regrouping as the front line was mowed down by the knights and the incoming stormtroopers. 

Kylo scanned through the crowd, searching through the thoughts of the panicked enemies, trying to find the commanding officer. As he picked his way through the foot soldiers, he ransacked their minds before they fell, looking for any scrap of information that might lead back to her. His anger was all consuming, burning him from the inside out. If Rey was here by some chance, he would unleash his fury upon her like never before. A part of him roared that she and his mo- no,  _ Organa _ , would sink so low to take someone so precious to him away. 

Finally he found his target, on top of an outcropping beyond the enemy lines. He launched himself over the heads of those who were desperately trying to shoot him down. They were met with their own shots, redirected back at them by his lightsaber and the Force. The troopers finally clashed with those who had held their own against his knights, and Kylo was making his way up to where the officer was shouting into her commlink, warning the command center of the impending loss and directing a retreat. Not that it would matter much, a dreadnought had just come out of hyperspace above the planet, and soon the rebel fleet trying to escape was being decimated.

Kylo reached a hand out to the leader, capturing her in a near full body paralysis. The female’s eyes went wide with fear at her sudden inability to move her limbs.

Raising his lightsaber to her throat, he snarled, “ _ Where is she?” _

*

You were being ushered through back alleys towards the outskirts of the outpost, the rebel called Vi pushing you forward with her blaster pressing uncomfortably in your back. She held one of your arms as well, pulling you to a stop every so often when radio static from trooper commlinks buzzed nearby.

“This is quite a move for you First Order lackeys, it would almost be impressive if it wasn’t so obvious.”, she laughed humorlessly.

You didn’t respond. It was easy to see how this could be taken as a ploy, so you kept your mouth shut and let her lead you away. Her stress and anger came off her in waves, but somewhere below the surface, a hint of doubt hid among the other two feelings. After a couple more turns, you were at a small exit looking back into the forest. She glanced around the corner, looking for any other patrols and began to walk in front of you, when you pulled her back behind the wall. She opened her mouth to berate you when two speeders sped past, scout troopers sitting astride them. She looked back at you, mouth agape. She closed her mouth quickly and shook her head.

“Keep moving.”, she commanded.

“You’re welcome”, you muttered.

At least now the blaster wasn’t digging into you as hard. 

The two of you entered the woods, silently listening for any more scouting parties as Vi navigated through the trees. The trek had been going for about 40 minutes, when you suddenly felt woozy. You realized you hadn't had any food or water in quite a while. Hux had retrieved you hours after your last meal and you had been so hyped up on adrenaline, you hadn’t felt the need for sustenance. But now the effect from the lack of said necessities was beginning to set in, and your vision swam, making you unsteady on your feet. 

You collapsed to your knees, and clenched your eyes closed, willing the world to stop spinning so fast.

“Wha-  _ kriff _ , are you okay?”, the rebel exclaimed. 

“I… I just need to rest for a second. I’ll be okay.”, you said weakly, shifting into a sitting position. 

She opened a hip pack and pulled out a small medical scanner. She ran it over you, checking the results after it beeped to notify a complete read. She narrowed her eyes at you. 

“You’re pretty dehydrated, not to mention a low blood sugar reading. When was the last time you ate?”, she admonished.

“Can’t remember.”, you mumbled.

She pulled her wrist commlink up to her face, speaking fast. 

“This is Starling, I’m requesting an evac transport 3 klicks south-south west. Transmitting coordinates now.”

“Copy that Starling, sending transport immediately.”, a voice responded. 

She pulled a small container out of the pack and handed it to you. 

“Eat this.”

You opened the container. Inside were strips of dried meat that you nibbled on. You knew you couldn’t eat too quickly or you risked throwing it right back up. 

She sighed as she watched you. She clucked her tongue and sat down next to you. 

“Alright, who the hell are you and why are you looking for Rey?”, she asked. 

You gave her a brief recount of your meeting with Rey and Poe on Felucia and the plot to kill you. You withheld a majority of the details, only giving her the minimum. Despite this, her face betrayed her shock at it all.

“Maker above. That’s… some story.”, she finally uttered. 

“I know. I’m still having a time coming to grips with it myself. I didn’t think in a million years I’d be where I am now, and yet, here I am.” 

You felt your strength slowly start to come back to you and the forest around you had finally stopped spinning. You were still incredibly tired, but half of it was the emotional toll of the situation too. Vi’s comm crackled to life with a familiar voice calling over. 

“Alright Moradi, help is nearly there, you good?”

“Roger that Dameron, I’m good, but my new friend here isn’t doing too hot.”, she responded with a hint of amusement in her tone. 

You groaned as she said the commander’s name. Vi looked back at you confused. The sound of a small shuttle came overhead, the shadow of the craft shading the area they stood in. A platform dropped from the bottom of the ship to load you inside. The girl held a hand out to you to help you stand. Begrudgingly, you took it and rose to your feet. Your lack of excitement at seeing Poe Dameron again made you wish you’d blacked out, so you wouldn’t have to see his cocky face right now. 

The platform raised back into the ship and there he was, waiting inside. The look on his face made you want to punch it more than ever. 

“ _ Well, hello there _ .”, he greeted.

“I’m not going to lie, I didn’t think I would ever see you again. Maybe on another battleground, but not you coming to  _ us _ .”, he said in that stupidly flirtatious voice of his.

You mustered as much disdain as you could and glared at him. It only made him grin wider. 

“Poe, if you’re done flirting with our new deserter friend, I suggest we let her sit down? She’s had quite a time these past few days and I’m not sure she can stand on her own for very much longer.”, Vi said, exasperated. 

Sketching a bow, he gestured over to a seat behind him as the transport began moving again. You strode past him and sat down, shooting the girl a grateful look. Vi eyed him before heading to the cockpit to speak to the pilot. Poe took the seat next to yours, his demeanor changing to a notedly more serious manner.

“So. Things must have gone south pretty fast, huh? He’s on full berserker mode and thinks we have  _ you _ as our prisoner. Obviously we don’t and now you’re here looking for Rey. Care to clue me in on what the hell is going on and why you’re here and not with him?”, he pressed. 

“They were going to kill me. And blame it on you. This shadow faction, Project Eternal, isn’t looking to depose him like we thought. They claim they’re looking to ensure his rule of the galaxy at any cost, even more so than already. There’s obviously some further ulterior motive, but I wasn’t able to uncover it before they caught me snooping. I wasn’t as careful as I thought. All I could find was that Enric Pryde, Armitage Hux, and the Knights of Ren are involved. Outside of Kylo’s knowledge. And that they’re connected to the Sith in some way. If I tried to contact him, they would no doubt find a way to get to me first. I can’t let that happen.”, you explained, voice tired. 

Dameron looked at you with concern and pity. 

“When we talked last, on Felucia, Rey told me to find her if anything happened. Out of everyone now, you guys are the closest thing I have to allies right now. And I can’t let anything happen to him. He means more to me than I thought anyone could. So, Poe.  _ Please _ . Help me get to Rey.”

You regarded each other for a tense couple of moments until Poe looked away and sighed.

“Do you know how hard it is to say no to someone when they look at you like that? Especially coming from someone who normally looks at you like you’re scum on the bottom of their shoe?”, he said, humor warming his tone. 

You smiled a little despite yourself.

“Ahhh, there’s just one thing first. You’ll need to speak to the general as well. Knowing Rey, she’ll do what she can to help, but we can’t do anything until we talk to Leia.”, he cautioned.

You swallowed. 

You were going to have to speak to Leia Organa. Kylo’s mother. It had never really hit you like it did until this very moment. That a mother and son stood on opposite sides of this war. That the woman who left her son to suffer under the scrutiny of the public would be the same person you would have to convince to help you now.

“She’s not here of course. And I’m only here to relay information from command and bring supplies for the personnel stationed here. Gotta say, it’s  _ pretty _ lucky that you showed up when you did. I’m set to leave in 3 standard hours and join back up with the rest of the fleet.”.

“I’m starting to think that luck has nothing to do with it.”, you muttered. Then a thought struck you.

“One question, Dameron. You fly a X-wing don’t you? How do you propose we fly back together in a single seat starfighter-”, you stopped as you saw his face light up with what was obviously going to be some crude comment. “You know what? Don’t answer that. I’ll figure that out later.” 

You turned away from him as he began snickering.

“Oh come on, you walked right into that! You could have at least let me say it.”, he chuckled, eyes crinkled in the corners. “You’re right, I came in my X-wing.  _ But _ I also have a cargo ship that you’ll be able to hitch a ride in.”

You felt your cheeks warm when you realized he had mentioned something about bringing supplies. You leaned your head against the ship’s interior and closed your eyes. You felt the need for sleep tug at your consciousness. You could still feel Poe’s eyes on your face.

“Is there something else you’d like to say, Commander Dameron?”, you yawned pointedly.

An intake of breath followed by a beat of hesitation.

“Just… they really did a number on you, huh?”, he said sympathetically.

You clenched your jaw. You peeked out under your lashes at him.

“...Yes. They did.”

A hand landed on your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

“You’re safe here. I’ll make sure of it.”, he said quietly before standing and heading into the cockpit with Vi and the pilot.

Maybe it was just the overwhelming exhaustion making you emotional, but your eyes stung with the threat of tears at his words. You closed your eyes again and let yourself fall asleep to the hum of the ship and the soft whispered words exchanged by the other passengers. 


	22. A Bigger Picture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always more than one side to a story. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my Darlings!
> 
> I am so sorry for the super late update! Last week had me focusing on my other fic because of stress in my life as a form of escapism. Also because I went to Disney with friends for a birthday and I was too distracted by our dearest Supreme Leader making prolonged eye contact with me from behind the mask after telling me my skills would be useful to the First Order and I lost all rational thought. He really does know how to make a girl feel special, doesn’t he? 😍
> 
> But here’s the newest chapter, and I will be hopefully finishing chapter 24 by the end of the weekend to makeup for it. I’ve already gotten quite a bit done already as it was part of this chapter originally and it got long so I split it up. 
> 
> I hope this week had been treating you well and. I hope you enjoy this new chapter!
> 
> \- Stevie

A warm hand on your shoulder shook you awake. You groaned, having been awakened after what had felt like only a few minutes of rest. Your eyes opened to an apologetic smile on Poe’s face. 

“Hey, sorry to wake you so soon, but we’re here.”

You felt a headache form between your brows, making you pinch the bridge of your nose as you nodded. You stood up from your seat and looked to the open doors opposite you. Vi Moradi and the transport pilot were walking out of the cabin, talking about what was being served in the mess hall. Vi glanced back at you and waved before resuming her conversation with the other woman. 

“Ready?”, Poe asked you.

“As much as I can be.”, you grumbled.

You followed the rebel commander out into the landing zone. The base was situated into the mountainside, concealed from any craft passing overhead by a cliff that stretched over the area. Engineers, mechanics, and droids milled about, inspecting and performing maintenance on the docked ships and shuttles. You sped up your pace to walk alongside Poe, still taking in everything as you spoke to him.

“I remember you said you’d be leaving in a few hours, so where will I be going to wait in the meantime? I can’t imagine you’re going to just be able to waltz in with me when Vi recognized me so easily.”, you asked nervously.

He gave a worried chuckle.

“Yeah… about that.”, he said, stopping and turning back to you, hands raised in a placating gesture.

“Now, I was able to convince them not to slap you with a pair of binders as soon as we landed, but they do expect me to keep you under close supervision at all times. And not just on my own.”

You noticed another man headed towards the two of you as Poe explained. You sighed as FN-2187 came up and slid an arm over Poe’s shoulder, a smug expression on his face.

“Well, well, well. Last time we were all planetside together, you were running  _ from  _ us, and now you’ve come running  _ to  _ us. Funny how things change.”, he said.

“Yes, well, they do tend to change when you’re tortured and nearly executed by the organization you worked so hard for. I could almost forgive them for that, except, now they’re after the person I love, so I can’t just let that slide, now could I?”, you remarked with a sarcastic smile.

The former stormtrooper’s smugness vanished, with a look of shock taking its place.

Poe spoke up quickly, breaking the tense atmosphere.

“How about we go back to our room and I get us some grub? Those emergency rations only last you for so long, and I think you could use some real food, huh?”, he suggested, looking pointedly at his comrade, as he spoke to you.

“That would be much appreciated, Commander.”, you sighed. 

He led you to a doorway on the side of the building. The base had apparently been carved into the mountain itself, the exterior having given the appearance that it had been built alongside it, but the interior stretched further inside, the walls sporting score marks from where mining equipment excavated the corridors. Lamps and cables hung from the ceiling, leading into rooms that lined the hall. 

Poe herded you into a room just a couple of doors down from the entrance. A couple of bunks were set into the wall, with a desk and a chair opposite them. You turned the chair around and took the seat with FN-2187 taking a seat on some crates in the corner.

“Alright, you guys hang tight here while I go grab some food for (y/n).”, Poe said before slipping back out into the hallway.

You sat there awkwardly while the other man fidgeted, obviously wanting to say something. Finally working up the courage, he cleared his throat to speak.

“Hey, I’m… I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I spoke without knowing what you’d been through.”, he said apologetically. 

“It’s fine… Finn, right?”

He nodded. 

“You couldn’t have known. Besides, you’re right, I did come running here. An enemy showing up on your doorstep without warning, asking for your help? I would be wary too. Though this wasn’t as much by choice as it was by necessity.”

He gave you a sympathetic look.

“I know the feeling. I didn’t leave the order, just to turn around and join the Resistance, at least not at first. I only wanted to get away from the fighting and killing.”, he told you. 

“And here you are, an officer in the Resistance, fighting on another side.”, you said. 

“That’s true. But here’s the difference. The Resistance didn’t make me fight. They gave me the chance to fight for what I believe in, for the friends who have helped me along the way. For the people who don’t have a voice against their oppressors. And I want to help the others who are like me, taken from families they’ll never know, and brainwashed into fighting a war that was never meant to be fought.”, he answered. 

You looked at him thoughtfully before continuing. 

“The conscription of children is vile, on that we both agree. I wanted to appeal to Kylo on the termination of that program, because no child deserves that.  _ But _ , I’m still not entirely convinced you lot on this side have got everything right either. Under the new Republic, there was still so much corruption and neglect from the senate. Where I came from, orphans were left to fend for themselves and were often forced to take up lives of crime and live in constant danger. I would know, I was one of them. I might not have been conscripted, but they still gave me a chance to support a cause I believed in too.”, you argued.

“But are those causes worth the genocide of entire planets? What about the Hosnian system, hmmm? Just because the Republic supported the Resistance, the innocent people who lived there, including children, deserved to die?”, Finn exclaimed. 

You couldn’t answer. You wanted to tell him it had been for the greater good. But he was right, wasn’t he? You’d been away on a mission when you saw Starkiller base wipe out a whole star system, all at the press of a few buttons by uncaring people who had thought they were doing something for the good of the galaxy. How something deep inside you had felt how wrong it had been. You couldn’t meet his eyes, because you didn’t want to acknowledge that you had indirectly supported the deaths of millions, all because you wanted to belong. Because you thought it bring the change you wanted to see.

Poe walked back into the room, a plate on each arm. His mouth was open to say some joke, but he quickly changed his attitude as he felt the renewed tension. He placed one of the plates that was stacked with food on the desk next to you and sat on the edge of one of the bunks, offering Finn some of the snacks from his own plate.

You turned away from them to pick at the meal he’d brought you, appetite feeling diminished after the conversation you’d just had. You could feel the unspoken conversion between the two of them happening behind you. 

“So, I see we’re already off to a great start here. Care to catch me up on the fun?”, he said, half sarcastically. 

You sighed as you speared a piece of tip yip with your fork. Your head throbbed again from your migraine as you stuck it in your mouth to chew. 

“We were just talking about our experiences with the First Order and the Republic.”, Finn informed him. 

“Ah. I see. You two have somewhat similar circumstances, huh?”

You hazarded a glance back at them. Poe was looking at you expectantly, waiting for your explanation.

“Look, as I was just telling your friend, the Republic wasn’t as perfect as you all act like it was, my days on the street as a kid made that all too clear. The senators didn’t care about anyone except for those who sponsored them and groveled at their feet. Your general included! She neglected her own child, for star’s sake.”, you ranted, your headache and exhaustion making you a bit more belligerent than normal. 

“She regrets it you know. Leaving him behind.”, the commander replied quietly.

You focused on him. Poe looked at you with something hard in his eyes. A kind protectiveness for the general, you realized. And a hint of sadness. You sat back slowly to let him continue. 

“It’s not mine to tell, but there’s always more to a story than what you see and hear from one side. That’s something I learned the hard way recently. To see the bigger picture. And I think you’ve begun to see that too. You won’t admit it, but you’ve seen that. When we meet with the general, I hope you’ll listen to her side too.”

You stayed silent. 

“And in regards to the Republic we’re fighting for? We aren’t looking for a  _ perfect _ future. That’s impossible. But we are looking for a better one. For one that isn’t full of fear, but of hope. You could help us fight for that future too, you know. For the kids like you. And me. And Finn here. It’s not an easy road, but it’s a worthy one. At least we think so.”

He looked at his friend and smiled. Something unspoken passed between them again. Something you recognized, something that made your heart ache. You looked away to the wall, feeling like you were intruding on a private moment.

Poe cleared his throat before changing the subject. 

“Is the food alright? You’ve barely eaten.”, he questioned. 

“It’s fine. After a week of meager portions of old vegmeat, anything is better. I’m just overwhelmed if I’m being honest. I’d assumed I would have been thrown into another cell as a prisoner of war, and questioned through the bars of said cell. This has all has been unexpected treatment.”, you responded. 

That or be thrown back to the loth wolves who were eager to end your existence. 

“We’re not monsters.”, Finn scoffed. 

“No, apparently not. But this is still war, and I’ve come to understand how the other side operates, and would assume the same for you.”, you reminded him. 

“Well, then it’s lucky for you that you’ve got a friend here who can speak for you.”, Poe chuckled. 

“Hmmm, is it too late to choose the cell?.”, you replied, wrinkling your nose with mock distaste, a barely concealed smile ruining the effect. 

“Was that a  _ joke _ I just heard?”, he said, gleeful surprise on his face. 

You rolled your eyes, but this time it lacked as much sarcasm. After the week you’d had, the levity was much appreciated and you thought that maybe, they weren’t too bad after all. 

*

You finished what you could of the meal and after some coaxing, gave the two more information about your imprisonment. They actually looked angry, horrified even,at the story. It struck you then, that they’d been captured quite a few times themselves. They’d likely experienced similar treatment, tortured for information, and had been lucky enough to see another day. But still it was strange that these two people, who had no reason to care about you, still did. That they somehow felt that you deserved to be empathized with, despite the blood of their comrades on your hands. Despite the fact that a little over a month ago, you’d been on this planet before, on opposite sides, as bitter foes. 

And when you were finished with your story, they told you their own stories. Perhaps to make you feel less alone, or to make you see that bigger picture Poe had mentioned. 

Finn told you how he couldn’t pull the trigger in the village on Jakku, and how he ran, knowing he could never be the mindless soldier the Order tried to make him. And how he found his courage to stand against them after meeting his friends. And Poe explained how he had joined the Resistance after years of running away from responsibilities. He’d only wanted to fly, chasing the thrill of it, not caring that he had been wasting his talent. Eventually he had found his way to the New Republic Defense Fleet and how Leia had seen something in him that he didn’t. And how he’d gone from a pilot to a commander under her guidance. 

There was a reverence in the way they spoke of her. You’d heard stories of her when you’d been young, and the stories you were hearing now reminded you of those days. But you remembered the pain in Kylo’s eyes as he told you about the way he’d been pushed aside by his own family. The two images of her conflicted and you weren’t sure how the two could be the same person. Your hesitation lessened, turning instead into a determination to learn the truth. 

At some point, you’d rested your head in your hand, arm propped up on the desk, and your eyes had shut listening to them talk. Taking notice of your dozing, their voices dropped to hushed whispers. It wasn’t long before you felt your consciousness slip away again, your mind falling into a dream. 

*

You were sitting in a meadow filled with tall grass and surrounded by waterfalls. Wildflowers dotted the landscape around you and a soft breeze caressed your face. You felt so at peace here, you wished you could stay forever. But you somehow knew it was a dream. And this space was a memory. Not your’s, but someone else. You heard someone sit next to you in the grass, the person taking a deep breath and loosing a heavy exhale. 

“It’s beautiful here.”, you said by way of greeting before looking at your new companion. 

“It is.”, he replied with a fond smile. 

He reminded you of Kylo in some ways. Shoulder length hair with a scar slicing down one side of his face. But that was where the resemblance ended. Instead of black locks, brown with burnished copper strands hair framed his handsome face. And the warm smile that lit up his face was nothing like the cool mask Kylo wore. 

He wore dark brown and black robes, and you saw the glint of a metal hilt on his belt. A Jedi then. Despite his young appearance and demeanor, there was still an air of wisdom around him. As if he’d been through more than most people would in their lifetime. 

“You care for Ben quite a bit, don’t you?”, he asked, looking off into the distance. 

You were taken slightly aback by the use of Kylo’s birth name. 

“Yes… though he prefers a different name.”, you answered. 

“That’s right, he does. I had been given another name at one point too. I thought that it would give me power. And it did. But in the end, power wasn’t what I wanted, or even needed. I didn’t realize that I’d had everything I needed already. But I let my fear corrupt my mind. Let it make me think I needed more power to protect the woman I loved, and the family we were expecting. But that was what took them from me.”

“I thought Jedi were forbidden from love?”, you inquired. 

He huffed a laugh. 

“I have many regrets from my lifetime, but loving her, and loving our family are not a part of them. Some might have called it selfish, but love can be just selfless as it is selfless. It all depends on you.”

He looked back at you, his expression taking a more serious appearance. It was there the resemblance grew stronger. 

“He’s lost, (y/n). I couldn’t stop the shadows from getting to him like they did to me. He loves you so strongly. And now they’re using that as a weapon against the rest of the galaxy. Don’t let him make the same mistakes that I did. He deserves more than I got, and you do too.”

A voice rang out in the field.

“Aniiii! Where are you?”, a woman called. 

The man smiled again, love shining brightly in his eyes. 

“That’s my cue. Bring my grandson home okay?”

He stood up from his place next you as a pretty young woman with long brown curls approached in the distance. 

“May the Force be with you, (y/n).”

  
  


*

You woke up to another hand on your shoulder. You realized you weren’t where you’d fallen asleep. Instead of the desk and chair, you were in one of the bunks with Finn standing beside you, pulling you away from your dream. 

“Hey, we’re prepping for take off in 30. We need to head to the ship for final checks. Poe is already out there.”, he informed you.

You shook off the lingering grip of your exhaustion, and nodded. 

“There’s some more bunks on the ship, we’ll get you situated in there when we take off, alright?”, he said with a small smile. 

“How did I end up in a bed?”, you asked. 

“Poe.”, he said matter of factly. 

“Should have guessed.” 

The two of you walked out to the docking bay to a nondescript looking cargo ship. A few mechanics and engineers were inspecting it and performing pre-flight and performance checks as you approached. They greeted the two of you, you with some curiosity and wariness. You weren’t sure if they knew who you were, but if they did, they didn’t make it known. 

While Finn continued talking to them, you headed into the ship, the cargo hold full of empty crates, ready for the return trip. You sat on one of them as you waited for things to finish up. You heard the sound of something metal roll up the cargo ramp, with some beep sounding into the hold. A white and orange BB unit came into view, it’s head twisting around as it checked it’s surroundings. It spotted you, and perked up before rolling over to you. 

Beeping and chirping at you cheerfully, you could only laugh a little. Your grasp on Droidspeak wasn’t very good, but you were able to understand a little bit of its friendly chattering. . 

“Hello there, BB-8 you said? It’s nice to meet you as well. I’m afraid I don’t totally understand you, but my name is (y/n).”, you greeted. 

Footsteps sounded as another person entered, and you looked up to find Poe entering, an orange and white flight suit on. He flashed you a grin as he noticed the droid speaking to you. BB-8 whirled around to greet the newcomer, beeping excited and wiggling a little. 

“I see you’ve met my little buddy.”, he said to you. 

“Why does it not surprise me this little chatterbox is yours?”, you said, giving him a pleading look to save you from the mostly one sided conversation. 

“Hey, BB, let her be, would ya? She’s still pretty tired after everything. You can talk her ear off when we get back to base.”

The droid chirped sheepishly and turned back to you, almost embarrassed, beeped a quick  _ see you later _ , and headed back out. 

“How are you feeling?”, the pilot asked, mild concern in his voice. 

You shrugged. 

“Physically? A lot better. Emotionally?, I’m drained beyond belief. I’m still recovering from the emotional whiplash of the last week, but especially the last 6 hours.”, you answered honestly. 

He gave a sympathetic nod. 

“Well, try and brace yourself if you can. In just a few more hours, things are probably going to get a lot more complicated. If you need it, the crew’s quarters are through that door, to the left.”, he told you, pointing to the wall behind you. 

You stood and began heading to it, wanting some time to yourself, but stopped a few feet away and turned back to look at him. 

“I’m sorry, Poe. And thank you. For all of this.”

And with that you headed into the crew’s quarters. 

*

While you laid in the dark room, you replayed the dream in your head as the ship began it’s ascent. Out of everything, one thing stuck out to you in particular. The man had called Kylo his grandson. And you with the robes he’d been wearing, you surmised that he hadn’t been his paternal grandfather. You had spoken with  _ Darth Vader _ . In a dream that had felt like a memory. Of another time, in another place that seemed so far away from the war that raged around it. 

Another detail stuck out to you. That he’d been given a name to give him power. So Vader wasn’t his real name? The other woman’s voice came to mind.  _ Ani _ . 

You pulled your data pad from your bag, and tried searching on the holonet for any information on Jedis with the name Ani, but no pertinent results came up. You sorely wished you could have checked the First Order archives now, but any attempt at slicing their servers was too risky. You couldn’t risk them finding your location and capturing you and the others. 

You hopped up from the bunk and headed back into the cargo hold, searching for the cabin. Following a small corridor, you found a small lounge and kitchenette, and then the entry to the cockpit. Finn sat in a seat behind the pilots, reading over what looked to be a communication display. He looked up as you approached, despite your quiet footsteps, and gave you a warm smile. You gave him one back and settled into the seat across from him, watching the starlines pass. It wasn’t long before the pilots were disengaging the hyperdrive and you all found yourself in realspace again. 

A jungle moon appeared in the viewport and a white and orange X-wing swooped in front of you, escorting you forwards. The pilots began their approach, radioing in to the base, rattling off clearance codes and giving the traffic control operators ship readings from the instruments on the navpanel. After confirming docking instructions, the ships entered the atmosphere and began the landing procedures. The jungle rose from the ground to meet you all, the base coming into view. It was far busier than the one you’d just come from, people directing the pilots to a designated area in the landing zone. You saw the X-wing already docked nearby, it’s pilot dropping off the ladder from the cockpit. BB-8 came down from the starship’s droid socket, and zoomed off beyond your range of sight. 

“Welcome to Ajan Kloss. Hope you don’t mind bugs.”, Finn said with a chuckle. 

You exited with him and the others, the humid rainforest air quickly making you sweat. Poe came up alongside the two of you, his helmet under his arm. The two men flanked you and you noticed where BB-8 had gone off too. He rolled alongside another familiar face, her white outfit stark against her tan and freckled skin. And next to Rey walked an older woman. She was smaller than you anticipated, but for one whose reputation preceded her like hers’, she was always a figure you regarded as larger than life. You felt yourself go rigid as Leia Organa approached the three of you.

She regarded you with a shrewd look, sizing you up before addressing you.

“So you’re the young woman who’s got my son tearing the galaxy apart to find. Impressive. At least he’s got good taste.”, she said with a wry smile.


	23. A New Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally talk to Leia and Rey. And you finally gain a different perspective. Maybe you were wrong, about more than you realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by water and emotions.   
> Speaking of water, GO DRINK SOME.
> 
> There is so much talking in this chapter, but it was about time we actually talked to someone about all these things we've been holding inside! And Leia and Rey are pretty good listeners.
> 
> Also, have you noticed I like cliffhangers? 
> 
> <3 love you guys  
> -Stevie

You gaped at her. There were hundreds of things you would have expected her to say to you, but that was certainly not anywhere on that list. The others smiled along with her, chuckles hidden behind coughs and turned heads.

“-General Organa, I, uh- we need to talk.”, you managed to sputter.

“Yes, it seems we do. If you would follow me, I’ve got somewhere private the three of us can talk. If you’ll excuse us, gentlemen.”, she said to Finn and Poe.

And then you were being escorted by her and Rey to another location, away from the bustle of the base’s center of operations, and into what looked to be a residential space, tucked into a small cave. Leia sat on the edge of the bed, gesturing for you to sit in the chair across from her. Rey remained standing and leaned against the wall. She was studying you, watching your movements. You didn’t blame her. 

“Let me start off by saying how troubling it was to hear of your treatment, regardless of your former affiliation with them. While it doesn’t surprise me that they treat everyone as expendable, it’s still horrifying to hear of it”, Leia began. 

“Oh. Thank you.”, you answered, looking away, avoiding her eyes. You were still hesitant to trust her, even now. 

“Now, getting down to business, how serious is this threat that you came to  _ us _ for help?”, she said

“It’s not good. When Rey first warned me, I took it with a grain of salt. I looked into it, saw there was something there worth looking into and went from there. I thought it was going to be easy enough to take care of. Until I learned too much and they showed some of their hand. ” 

They both leaned forward at this. 

You continued, “They don’t want to depose him, they want to use his power for their own gain. They abducted me and framed you for it to make him do exactly as he’s done thus far: wipe out the Resistance, even if the galaxy gets burned down with it in the process. At this point they would rather rule an empire of ashes than have any opposition to their control. I fear there is something more than this too, but they caught me snooping before I was able to uncover more than what you’d given me. All I managed besides that was the identities of two of the members of ‘Project Eternal’ within the order. Armitage Hux and Enric Pryde seem to be in leadership, as well as the Knights of Ren.”

Rey spoke up this time. 

“I thought Hux was the one who helped you escape? Why would he help you if you were in the way of their agenda?”

“It seems he’d been harboring feelings for me for some time. Or at least he thinks he does. I’m still not convinced that it’s not just the desire to take everything away from Kylo, and he’s confused this with something more than that. But I escaped with my life, and I’m grateful to him for that at least. That and what he gave me when I escaped.”

You bit your lip thinking about the next part. 

“As I mentioned a moment ago, there is something more to this. It’s only a hunch, but... it’s a strong one.”

You took a deep breath before continuing. 

“Back on Felucia, when we were in the outpost, I was taken by a woman and nearly killed there. She claimed I’d interfered with plans that had been in place for years. And they  _ definitely _ involved Kylo. We believed her to be a Sith acolyte. She could use the Force to an extent, and also had a book written in Sith runes. We attempted to take her prisoner but she poisoned herself. We took the text with us and I developed a translation program with Kylo’s assistance. Unfortunately, the data pad I had used to complete the translation was discovered by someone involved within the group and led them to my investigation.  _ Thankfully _ , I’d copied it to my other device that I’d stowed away, and Hux had found it, and for some reason, gave back to me.”

You reached into your pack and withdrew your data pad and held it out to Leia. She took it from you and glanced at Rey. 

“It sounds like you’ve come in contact with a group long thought to be extinct. This does not bode well for us.”, Leia murmured. 

You looked questioningly at the two of them. 

“Project Eternal and the Sith. Put them together and you’ve got the Sith Eternal, a cult dedicated to the Darkside. They were thought to be wiped out after the old war, but it seems they were hiding deeper in the shadows than we predicted.”, Rey clarified. 

“Palpatine was their leader for a long time, until my brother and father defeated him. It seems we didn’t search hard enough. We’d assumed they would be with the Imperial Remnant, but seeing as how they had slipped through the cracks as well, it shouldn’t be a surprise they’ve returned as well.”, Leia sighed. 

“If you’d like, I can start reading the translation and see if I can find anything valuable while the two of you talk, master.”, Rey said gently, holding her hand out to the general. 

Leia gave her a grateful smile before handing it off to the Jedi. 

You watched Rey anxiously as she left you alone with the older woman. You glanced at her, putting on a mask of false calm. 

“She called you master. I wasn’t aware you were a trained Jedi as well.”, you observed, trying to steer the conversation away from the topic you knew was sure to come. 

“I never fully completed my training, but I’m the only person she can turn to for her own since my brother became one with the Force.”, she replied, settling into her seat. 

She lost some of that regal posturing with the movement, her face aging by years with a weariness she likely kept to herself. You felt yourself feeling empathetic to that. An exhaustion like that lingered no matter what you did. 

“I’m not really sure Han and I were ready to be parents when we had Ben. But we loved each other and thought we could make it work. And for a while it did. But my job required me to travel more and more often, leaving Han to take care of Ben, whose awakening came earlier than most. Han didn’t understand the Force well enough and had a hard time adjusting to a child who could move things without even touching them. And that plus tantrums could get overwhelming. It didn’t take long for the stress of everything to take its toll on us, and we started fighting rather than trying to work through our problems. It took a toll on Ben too, seeing his parents fight. It didn’t help that he’d always felt things so strongly as a child.”, she told you.

Sadness and regret lined the woman’s face as she continued describing Kylo’s volatile childhood. She understood that she was in part to blame the way things turned out, and her guilt was obvious. 

“After one particular incident, we decided it might have been best if he went to Luke, to train with him, to learn how to control his power. Little did I realize it would only make things worse. I didn’t think he would see it as us pushing him away, but he did, and then the events of that night at the temple took place. Another family member making a mistake that left him feeling alone and afraid. And that fear and isolation pushed him further away from us, from the Light.”

“Do  _ you _ think there’s still light in him?”, you asked her.

Her brows knit together, expression incredulous.

“Of course I do. Despite everything that has happened, I’ve never given up hope.”, she answered, voice unwavering. 

“Even with all that he’s done?”

“Yes.”

You felt a knot form in your throat. She sighed, more on her mind apparently.

“You know, I never got to know my father. I had only ever known Darth Vader and the awful things he had done in the name of the Empire and the Sith. He will always be recognized for his part in those crimes, the Emperor’s right hand who inspired terror in the galaxy. Many people don’t know that he had chosen the Light in the end. That he’d sacrificed himself for his family. Even I had a hard time coming to grips with it. Every interaction I’d ever had with him had been him taking something precious away from me. It was hard to forgive him, but over time I realized that without his sacrifice, we would likely never have won the war. And then when Ben turned, I realized just how fine the line was, between Light and Dark, and just how easily the darkness could creep in.”, she mused. 

“As I said, I never finished my training. I’d sensed Ben’s death at the end of my path as a Jedi. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, and so I gave up that part of my future, for him. Nothing mattered to me like he did. But then he turned from the Light, and joined Snoke and the First Order, and I had to make a choice. It haunts me every day that he’s on the other side of this war, but I have  _ never _ given up the hope that he’ll come back. That’s what this rebellion was built on, hope, and I will always have that hope that my son will come back to me.”

You looked on at unshed tears glistening in her eyes, and you pitied her. She had made mistakes, but you saw that she had tried her best to protect him. It might not have been the best way to approach it, but how  _ does _ one explain to a child that they came from a family like that? You sucked in a shaky breath, unsure of how to continue. She’d made mistakes, but at least she was still trying to make things right.

“General, I’m still not exactly sure how all of this Force stuff works. After I had  _ my  _ awakening, he’d been teaching me a little in the days leading up to these recent events, but we had no idea that our time together would be cut off abruptly. But I can still…  _ feel _ the way the Force moves around people, and through them. Kylo- Ben, he carries a lot of darkness inside of him. Anger, pain, anguish, betrayal. He’s taken them all and used them to fuel himself, to make him stronger. But, deep inside him, there are small fissures. Cracks in him that he hides away, eager to conceal from those who would notice. But I did. The way the Light still calls to him, even through the shadows that surround his heart, finding its way through those cracks.”

“And the Light in him, it called to me too. To another broken, lonely creature who’d been hurt too many times. Who’d thought she was incapable of loving anyone else, besides herself anyways.”, you said, laying your heart bare as she’d done. You chewed the inside of your cheek, trying to fight the urge to cry yourself.

“He showed me parts of himself that he’s never shown anyone else. He showed me what loving another person could be like. It wasn’t easy, between the two of us. I’m surprised we even managed to get as close as we did, we were both such guarded people, but we did. And things just got easier, a little bit at a time, until we were comfortable around each other in a way I’d never experienced. And in those brief moments, we could be ourselves. That’s when the Light shone through, whether he realized it or not.”

A single tear finally broke free and slid down your cheek before you swiped it away. You sniffled a little before finishing.

“I’m not afraid of his darkness, but I don’t want to see him consumed by it. And I can’t stand by idly while those bastards use me to turn him into something he’s not. That’s why I’m here. I need your help. I can’t do this on my own.”, you asked, your resolve strengthening as you did.

Once again, that canny gaze was searching you, looking for something you couldn’t quite name. She stood from the bed and stepped towards you, a strong and soft hand coming to rest on your cheek. Despite its smaller size, it reminded you of Kylo in the steady way it held you.

“My dear, I’m not entirely sure what I’ll be able to do without the council’s approval, but I will do whatever I can until then. I will not abandon my son again.”, she said resolutely.

*

As it turned out, the council wasn’t very hard to convince seeing as they had already been planning countermeasures to rescue their allies on Taanab, who were currently under siege. At this point they were desperate to try anything to stop Kylo’s campaign of destruction, including a half baked plan to let you try and talk him down. Poe, Finn, and Rey would escort you planetside where they would lure him away from the fight, and get you in front of him for what they hoped would be the end of his attacks. 

Your heart was beating furiously in your chest as you followed the trio and BB-8 to an old, beat up Corellian YT-1300 light freighter. You scrunched your nose up at the ship, uncertain of their choice in transport. 

“You can’t be serious? This ship is a fire hazard, surely you’ve got something better than this?”, you asked incredulously. 

Rey scoffed on behalf of the ship. 

“She might not be the prettiest, but the  _ Falcon  _ is one of the fastest ships in the galaxy. Don’t let her appearance fool you.”, Rey answered fondly. 

“ _ That _ is the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ?”, you said, dumbstruck by the notion that this piece of junk was the fabled ship the children back on the streets of Corellia used to tell stories about. 

“You know, if the  _ Falcon _ isn’t your style, (y/n), we can still try squeezing the two of us in my X-wing!”, Poe teased, his barely concealed snickering earning him an elbow in the ribs from Finn. Rey just rolled her eyes at his antics. 

“I’d sooner kiss a Wookiee.”, you shot back, sarcasm softened by a roll of your eyes.

No sooner had the words left your mouth did you hear the growling call from a large black and brown furry figure exiting the ship ahead of you, greeting you all. 

“Careful what you wish for!”, Poe responded, his shoulders shaking with unabashed laughter at the impeccable timing. Finn only shook his head, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing as well. 

Rey walked ahead to the Wookiee and gestured you over. 

“Chewie, this is (y/n). She’s the one we were telling you about.”, she explained. 

Chewbacca looked down at you, a curious glint in his dark eyes as you stuck your hand out to him in greeting. A large fur covered hand crushed yours, shaking it vigorously, your whole body jerking with the movement. You let out a huff of laughter as he greeted you back. 

“If we’re done with the pleasantries, I think it’s time to get this show on the road.”, called Poe from the interior of the ship. 

“Right, then. Let’s get a move on, shall we?”, Rey said. 

You followed them in, sending up a short prayer to the stars, the Force, and to anyone who might be listening that this would work. 

*

And in your third flight between planets that day, you found yourself in the  _ Falcon’s  _ lounge, sitting across from Rey as she inspected her lightsaber. BB-8 was chattering away with her, cheerfully telling her about the trip to Batuu with Poe. It didn’t escape your notice when the little droid tilted its head towards you and Rey snorted in amusement. 

“What did he say?”, you prompted curiously. 

“He was telling me how Poe always seems to pick up the most interesting people on his missions. First a stormtrooper, and now a First Order spy.”, she answered, tightening a bolt on the hilt. 

“Ah.”

  
  
  


She twisted the hilt around, checking it over once more, she then clipped it to her belt once she was satisfied with her work.

“BB-8, why don’t you go check on the guys? I haven’t heard anything from them in a while, and I’m getting worried.”, she joked.

After the little droid chirped in agreement, she rested her arms on the tabletop and looked at you. Looks like you were in for another round of questioning. 

“You really do care for him a lot, don’t you? Ben, I mean. Or should I say Kylo?”, she corrected herself. 

You nodded. 

“May I ask why? I don’t mean to pry, but I’m just genuinely curious. With all that had happened between us, it’s just difficult I suppose, to see why. He’s…  _ attractive _ , sure, but he’s so stubborn, and he’s done such awful things, seemingly without any remorse.”, she went on, wincing as memories no doubt resurfaced of their interactions.

“You’re not wrong, he’s fiercely stubborn. But there’s another side to that. He’s just as protective too, sometimes overbearingly. And there were times where we butted heads because of that, but he would apologize not long after. Genuinely apologize for it. It helps when you’re just as stubborn as the other. And in regards to the things he’s done, I’d been a part of those too. I did things in the name of the First Order that I realize now how awful they were. I grew up in the streets of a core world where you did whatever it took to survive. It was cutthroat, and that part of me stayed with me for so long. I rationalized that the things I did during my missions were for the greater good, even if deep down I’d known they were still questionable. So I suppose, being with him, I did the same for him too.”, you admitted. To Rey, and to yourself.

“But I still see good in him. It might be small, but I still think there’s a chance, you know. I saw parts of him I didn’t think he actually had. He cares, so so much. And I think that’s why he hides it away. Because he  _ feels _ so deeply, that he has had to bury some of those emotions, to protect himself, to hide the parts others would consider weakness.”

She listened intently to you, letting you speak uninterrupted until you finished. You loosed a breath when you concluded, and you felt as if some weight had been lifted from your shoulders. How long had it been since you had felt like you could open yourself to others so fully like you had these past hours. Besides Kylo, you’d always kept to yourself and kept your thoughts and emotions to yourself. Bottling it all up and compartmentalizing to avoid connections with others.

Rey spoke again, a thoughtful expression on her face.

“There was a time not too long ago, where I thought maybe he could be swayed. That day, in Snoke’s throne room. I had gone to him, thinking I could make him realize that he had been used by Snoke for so long. A puppet aware of his strings but unable to cut them himself. So I went to him, to help give him the push he needed. And then the moment came, but instead of cutting those strings, he kept them, thinking it was just as good as freedom.”

“What do you mean?”, you asked. 

“He killed Snoke, and fought the guards alongside me. When we had finished, I asked him to call off the attack on the evacuating resistance ships. But he didn’t. Instead, we found ourselves back on opposite sides once more. He became the Supreme Leader and I escaped to save the last of the resistance. And now it looks like he’s being controlled again, his strings picked back up by those hidden in the shadows, despite his efforts”, she clarified.

“He told us you’d killed Snoke and disabled him before escaping.”

She laughed humorlessly. 

“Did he? He gives me too much credit. That was all him, I’m afraid. He had us all fooled, I suppose.”, she sighed, leaning back in her seat. 

You pondered over her words for a moment. 

“If you feel so adversely towards him, why did you warn me about the threat against him?”, you pointed out.

“Because I owed it to Leia... And maybe to him too. He saved my life on the  _ Supremacy _ , even after I nearly ended his back on Starkiller. I’m not really sure why.”, she shrugged. “Maybe there was still some sliver of hope after I saw the way he treated you. How he carried you away from the fighting on Batuu.”

Your face flushed at the memory and the fact that she’d seen it. You changed the subject to something you’d been curious about since Kylo had mentioned it.

“He told me that the two of you share a bond through the Force. He wasn’t sure how it works, but that you could see each other even when you weren’t in the same place. Only the other person, but not their surroundings. Do you… do you have any ideas about it?”, you asked quickly.

“Well it started not long after we first met. It began to take form when we were in the interrogation room, when my connection to the Force began to awaken. He was searching my mind for Luke’s location, but I was able to get into his head as well. It only grew as time passed, to where we were able to see and hear each other, and then sense each other’s presence when the other was close. Snoke had claimed to have been the one to have bridged our minds, but it remained in place, even after his death. I’ve tried to research old texts to find any mention of such a bond, but I’ve had no luck. I’ve attempted to use it to my advantage, to try and spy, but it's so unpredictable. If anything he seems to have the advantage, popping up when I least expect it and driving me mad.”, she explained, annoyed. 

“I see…”

You felt a twinge of jealousy. It was an illogical reaction, but it still stung. You wished you had the chance to see him in the moment, for a chance to tell him you were okay. That you were safe, and more importantly, an unknown threat loomed over him. To warn him of the leeches that were using him and had separated you from each other. 

“Do you think this is going to work?”, you asked her. 

Her hand gently grasped your wrist, giving you a sympathetic smile. 

“I’m not sure. But I hope so. That’s all we can do.”, she assured you. 

*

The  _ Falcon  _ lurched out of hyperspace abruptly, with Finn coming running past, headed to the gunner bay and shouting to the two of you. 

“WE’VE GOT COMPANY! HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!”

The ship veered sharply as you heard TIE’s screaming past beyond the walls of the ship, throwing you from your seats. Rey grunted and scrambled up as the ship dodged enemy craft and their attacks. You followed her into the cockpit where Poe and Chewbacca were focusing on out-maneuvering the swarm of First Order star fighters flying all around, going after various Resistance fighters. Somehow it seemed the rebels had gained some reinforcements after their loss on Crait, and while still heavily outnumbered, were managing to hold their own at the moment, giving you the chance to slip past the majority of the enemy squadrons without too much hassle. The few that did engage with  _ Falcon _ were quickly dispatched by the pilots’ quick thinking and Finn’s shooting. 

“Nice shooting down there Finn, aiming for a new record?”, Poe called encouragingly over his comm headset.

You felt like an outsider as the four of them worked together, synchronized in a way only a team that had been through much together could accomplish. Their cooperation and teamwork lead them to break through enemy lines and away from the bulk of the fighting. It seemed that you were in the clear until the ship rocked from the impact of a torpedo hitting the starboard of the  _ Falcon _ .

“They’ve hit our reverse thrusters! We won’t be able to slow down if we don’t get those back up!”, Rey shouted over the alarms that began blaring, alerting you of the damage.

You watched as chaos unfolded, Rey leaving the cockpit again to head back to the engine room to try and repair what damage she could, to get the thrusters operational again. Poe was radioing back to the fleet, informing them of your situation while he and the Wookiee continued to pilot, searching for somewhere to try and land the speeding ship if internal repairs failed and they needed to make an emergency landing. You heard the shots from the laser cannon below as Finn continued to fire at the last few remaining TIE’s that were pursuing you. And all you could manage to do was sit there, unable to think of what you could do to help. 

A familiar sensation brushed against your awareness. A soft shadow whispering to you, like the brush of dark waters against your legs. 

_ Kylo _ . 

He was nearby. You didn’t know how, but you knew he was. You exited the cockpit and let yourself follow the feeling beckoning you through the ship, to the back, to the engine room. You heard muffled voices inside, and your heart fluttered. One was Rey, and the other was  _ him _ .

“Where is she, Rey? I know you have her, you can’t hide her from me.”, he growled. 

“You’re right. We do have her, but unlike what you might have been told, she’s not our  _ prisoner _ . If you want to see her, come find us then.”, she challenged. 

You pressed the button that opened the door, the panel sliding open to reveal the scene inside. 

She had said they’d only been able to see each other when the bond opened. But somehow, you saw his dark-clad figure facing her, away from you. Rey’s face was tilted up towards his, defiance lining her features. She glanced over his shoulder to see you standing there, your mouth open in an  _ O  _ as you took in his broad frame. 

You went still as he followed her eyes, turning to you. His eyes widened in recognition.

“(Y/n).”


	24. Offers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see the true destruction of the First Order. You have to find him. You have to stop this once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! I'm sorry I'm a day late, I've fallen into a Mandalorian shaped hole and I've been having a hard time getting out. Not to mention this whopper of a chapter took a long time to write too! After writing and revising, this chapter came out to over 7100 words! Which is honestly insane to me. And with this monster comes its bite. This chapter gets an angst warning, so be prepared.
> 
> Also, speaking of The Mandalorian, I will be writing another chapter to my Mando fic and uploading later this week, so if you're a fan, go check it out!
> 
> Alright, enough of this shamelessness, enjoy!
> 
> -Stevie

“Kylo.”, you breathed. 

You tried to swallow but a lump had formed in your throat. He looked ragged, hair unkempt and bags under his eyes even more pronounced. He looked as if he hadn’t slept the week of your absence either. A part of you burned seeing him like this. That they’d put him in such a state to see their terrible plans realized. The other part was overjoyed to see him after what had felt like months. You cleared your throat to speak clearly, pushing past the knot and the dryness that had pervaded your mouth. 

“We need to talk Kylo, there’s something I have to tell-“

There had been relief in his eyes when he saw you, but that vanished as soon as you started speaking. Almost like you’d broken some spell on him. Now there was betrayal in his eyes, anger laced his tone as he cut you off mid-sentence. 

“You’re right. We do need to talk. I assume you’re on your way to me now. I’ll see you soon.”, he said icily. 

And then he vanished into the nothing. 

You could only stand there in shock. Why was he angry? Your stomach dropped, unsure of what to make of his reaction. Not to mention the fact that you’d seen what you assumed was their part of their bond, the projection of him disappearing after he’d said his piece.

“How did I see him?”, you asked Rey, who looked just as shell shocked as you did.

“I- I…”, she stammered, at a loss for words. 

She was saved from having to answer when Poe’s voice broke through the room over an intercom. 

“Rey, we need to know if we’re in for a rough landing or not. Any luck back there?!”, he asked anxiously. 

She could only give you an apologetic look before answering, turning back to the machinery to assess the full extent of the damage. 

“It’s not looking good, I’m doing what I can to stabilize us enough to reduce further damage when we land, but it’s not looking promising!”, she shouted as she used a spanner to tighten some bolts in the panel she resumed working on. 

She moved at a furious pace trying to fix what she could but worry was written all over her face. She turned back to you and grimaced. 

“I suggest you head back up front and secure yourself into a seat. This is going to be more than a little bumpy.”, she told you. 

You paled at her insinuation and heeded her instructions, sprinting back up front and slamming yourself into a seat. You pulled the safety restraints on as Finn joined you, taking the seat Rey had vacated and securing himself as well. You both watched as Poe and Chewbacca steered the  _ Falcon  _ towards a forest ahead. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”, Finn muttered. 

“You’re not planning on using those trees to slow us down, are you?”, you exclaimed, panic setting in as the ship began descending. 

“You got any better ideas back there?”, he shot back as he reduced the forward thrusters. “There’s not enough time to circle back and try and find somewhere else. Things are escalating down there and we have to hurry. Now hold on!”

“What about Rey?”, you asked quickly as you gripped the arms of the seat tightly, nails digging into the material. 

“I’m here.”, she said, appearing behind you. She grabbed the back of your seat, using it to anchor herself as she braced for impact.

The sound of branches hitting the ship’s hull and the viewport pulled your attention back forwards, your teeth gritted as the ship smashed through the trees. The  _ Falcon’s _ velocity was already decreasing significantly, albeit in a manner that had you holding on for dead life. Poe killed the engine as you crashed through the forest, the vessel groaning at the assault. Finally, the ship came to a stuttering halt, still rocking slightly on the uneven ground below it.

Everyone in the cockpit remained still for a moment, making sure they were still all in one piece. You opened your eyes, only realizing you’d closed them after you felt everything go still.

“Well that’s one way to make an emergency landing.”, Rey said with a groan, relinquishing her grip on your seat.

“Feel free to switch with me next time”, Poe retorted, swiping a hand over his face tiredly.

“We can argue about who’s doing the landing later, we still have a mission to do here guys.”, Finn reminded them brusquely as he undid his harness and stood, looking ready to get to business despite the near death experience you’d all just rode through.

You went to undo your own restraints when you noticed your hands were trembling. Between the crash and the interaction with Kylo, adrenaline and anxiety coursed through your body and your mind was still running to catch up. You took a deep breath as you worked at the buckles and extricated yourself from the seat, standing up shakily. Rey and Chewbacca had followed Finn, but Poe was running a quick diagnostic of the ship's internal systems to see what was still operational and what needed attention. He noticed that you were still with him and your current agitated demeanor.

“Hey, you doing okay there? You’re looking a little green around the gills.”, he asked, concerned.

“Mm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”, you answered, voice as unsteady as the rest of you. You turned and followed the sounds of the others ahead, unwilling to answer him truthfully.

He caught up to you easily though, matching your strides with his own. You felt his eyes on your face, the question still hanging in the air. 

“It’s nothing Poe, I’m just tired from everything. Plus we almost just crashed, so I’m still processing that, if that’s okay.”, you insisted, voice coming out more even than it had been a second ago. 

_ Focus, damn it, focus, _ you told yourself. 

“I’d believe you if I wasn’t so allergic to bantha shit.”, he said accusingly. “No, something else happened. You disappeared earlier. After we were hit. You don’t strike me as someone who’d let a near crash shake them up this bad. You’ve been in life risking situations before, so don’t give me that excuse.”

The two of you made it to the ramp where the others were waiting below. There was a slight drop from the ramp to the ground with the downed trees suspending the vessel above the forest floor. The Wookiee was circling the ship, cataloguing the external damage and muttering to himself about how often the  _ Falcon _ was put through hell. Rey and Finn were talking a short distance away, as they waited for the two of you to join them. 

Before you could jump down, Poe called your name quietly, stopping you as you were crouched down. You glanced back at him. He looked at you expectantly, a silent demand for a more honest answer than the one you’d given him. You huffed and stood up straight to face him. 

“Fine. I’m worried Poe. I’m worried this isn’t going to work. I’ve had a nagging feeling in the back of my head for a while that this plan isn’t going to work the way I want it to. And something did happen back there. But I can’t explain it because I’m not even sure how or why it happened, but it did. And it only made that feeling worse. I’m sorry I can’t explain it better than that, but that’s all I can give you. How’s that?”, you explained, barely taking a breath as you explained quietly. 

He tilted his head as he listened to you, expression guarded until you finished.

“...See, wasn’t so hard, was it? We have to trust each other if we’re going to work together, (y/n). You have to stop thinking of this as ‘them and I’ and start thinking about us all as a ‘we’. Even if we don’t all agree on everything, we’re still a team right now. As it stands, if your feeling does turn out to be true, we’re going to need each other to make it out of here in one piece.”, he said, flashing you a reassuring smile. 

“Tell me something Poe. Why do you care so much? About me? You have all been so kind and welcoming even though you hardly know me aside from the fact that I used to be your enemy and now I’m asking you for help- help to save the leader of your enemy. Because this all really makes no sense to me and I appreciate it, really I do, but I can’t for the life of me figure it out.”, you blurted out, still so confused that they had basically welcomed you with open arms.. 

“Because our fight is for everyone.”, he said, echoing Finn’s words from your discussion back on Batuu. “Because we don’t turn away those who need our help. Even if they used to be First Order spies.”, he told you. 

You felt your warmth flood your chest at his words. He was starting to grow on you despite everything..

“Doesn’t hurt when they’re so pretty, too.”, he added with a wink. 

And there it was. You groaned at his flirting before turning around to jump down from the platform. Definitely not because you had to hide the smile that broke out on your face from his flattery.

You landed on your feet with a huff of breath from the minor impact and headed over to where the others were waiting. Poe jumped down after you and trailed behind as you both approached your comrades. Once you were all assembled, Finn directed your attention to a projection of a map of Dantooine, zooming into the area you were currently in. 

“Ren was last spotted here, at the capital city. They’ve been laying siege to it for the past couple of days and have gained a foothold on the outskirts. Our allies’ forces have been holding on for the most part, but they’re starting to flag. Ren and his knights have been leading the front lines, steadily carving out a path for the rest of the army to follow behind. Lucky for us, Poe and Chewie got us in an area where we can sneak into the city unseen under the cover of the forest.”, he explained, pointing at an glowing spot on the map more than a couple of miles from your location. You looked at the sky above, noting the sun’s position in it. 

“We’ve only got a couple hours before nightfall, so we need to get moving. The dark will only be to our advantage once we’re close, but at the moment it’s going to be more of a hindrance than help.”, you told them. 

Finn nodded in agreement. You all quickly discussed how the best course of action to progress with the ship in need of repair and the need to get to the city as soon as possible. It was settled that Chewie and BB-8 would remain with the ship, working on repairing what they could and keeping an eye on it while you four would go on to the city. 

The first few hours of the trek were uneventful, the dense forest covering your party, keeping you all cool despite the heat of the sun. The three of them chatted idly as you hiked, with you listening on for the most part, enjoying their banter. After a while you had been tuning them out in favor of keeping an ear out for any radio chatter or the footsteps of walkers nearby that would alert you to enemy combatants. Your focus was broken when you heard your name being called out to you, calling your attention back to Finn. 

“Hey, (y/n), where are you from?”, he asked you suddenly. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Where are you from?”, Poe repeated. 

“Uh, Corellia? Why?”, you asked back. 

“Really? I expected one of the core worlds, but not Corellia.”, Rey commented, making a face of impressed surprise. 

“Why not Corellia?”, you asked incredulously. 

“Because of your lack of mechanical knowledge.”, she answered matter-of-factly. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose at her apparent ignorance. 

“Just because I grew up on the streets near the shipyards there doesn’t mean I would know how to fix them. I was busy trying to survive on my own, and building ships was decidedly  _ not  _ where my proficiencies were at the time.”, you explained to the other young woman. 

“You’ve been a spy for a long time then? Even before working for the First Order?”, she inquired. 

“... Kind of. It’s a long story.”, you replied, mouth growing dry. 

“We’ve still got some time, it’s not-“

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”, you said, cutting Rey off mid sentence. You felt bad, but you really weren’t in the mood to tell your new acquaintances about how you’d had to sell your body when you were barely an adult just to survive in an uncaring world. 

The rest of the trip was spent in awkward silence after your outburst, but thankfully it wasn’t very long before it was finished. The four of you scaled a small cliff, and found yourselves looking down at the capital city down a hill dotted with more trees.

Thick pillars of smoke rose against the darkening sky from various points around the edge of the city, while aircraft fought above it all, illuminating the buildings below with blasts from their laser cannons. You could also spot walkers and other siege craft moving around in the city, firing off rounds at enemies above and below. The line of destruction was quickly moving forward, meaning the resistance lines might have been broken, and the First Order army was pushing through. Time was running out.

Before you realized what you were doing, your legs began to move, carrying you forward into a sprint. Your blood turned into ice in your veins as you ran, your breaths coming out ragged as you raced towards the burning city. You winced as you felt the agony and pain and death that was coming from inside. This was no longer a siege, this was an extermination. 

Something changed, you’d felt it earlier, when you had seen Kylo. He had never looked at you like that before. The anger and betrayal in his eyes had been something you’d only seen once before. When he had told you of his family and his turn to the darkside. Your lungs burned with each breath as you pushed yourself to move faster.

You spotted a partially crumbled portion of the wall surrounding the city up ahead between the trees and raced towards it. The others were steadily catching up with you, Rey and Finn reaching you first, Poe seconds later when you’d stopped at the entrance.

“Could’ve warned us you were going - _ hah- _ to take off like that.”, Poe panted, leaning against the wall as he caught his breath.

“There’s no time, we have to hurry. They’re going to wipe out the city if we don’t find him fast.”, you answered breathlessly.

Without waiting for their response, you pulled out your pistol and crept into the city, looking for any signs of enemy presence inside. Finding none, you pressed forward, leading the party through the abandoned streets. It seemed this part of the city had been evacuated already, and you hoped this was the case for all residential areas as explosions sounded in the distance. If your plan did fail… the destruction that would follow would likely be catastrophic. The idea of innocent bystanders being caught in the crossfire because of you made your skin crawl. 

The sound of skittering rocks drew your attention to an alley on your right, and you whipped towards the source of the sound, training your pistol on it. Your eyes widened as you saw two children crouching and huddled together in a corner of the deadend, terrified at the sight of the blaster aimed at them. 

“What is it?”, Finn asked as you dropped your aim immediately, placing the blaster back into your holster as you raised your hands up to show them you meant no harm.

“Kids.”, you murmured, your brows pinching together. “It’s okay, we’re not here to hurt you.”

The older one, maybe about twelve, was kneeling and had his arms wrapped protectively around a younger girl, likely his sister. They were both covered in dust and scratches. Despite the fear in his eyes, he still had a brave face on as he shielded his sibling. Your heart ached at the sight, and you inched forward, hands still raised as you spoke calmly.

“It’s alright now, we’re here to help. We’re with the Resistance.”, you said, surprising yourself with your own words. 

They both perked up at that, faces slipping into ones of relief. The boy stood up from his position and clutched the girl’s hand in his. You knelt down to their level so you weren’t as intimidating.

“My name is (y/n). And this is Finn, Rey, and Poe.”, you explained with a gentle smile, pointing to each of them as you introduced them. “Where are your parents? This is way too dangerous for you to be out here without them.”

“My name is Levi, and this is Tika. We got separated from Mama and Papa. I was hiding in our room and there was an explosion in our building, so I grabbed Tika and ran. I don’t know where they are, but they told me to take her with me if anything happened.”, he explained, chin wobbling as he told you all what happened.

You sucked in a breath. These kids were probably orphans now, and they didn’t even know it. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Levi, can you and Tika give me a moment while I talk to my friends real quick? We’re going to help get you guys somewhere safe, and help you find your family, okay?”, you said, keeping your voice soft and reassuring.

Turning back to your comrades, you stood and spoke quietly so the children didn’t hear.

“We need to get these two out of here. They’re lucky they’ve made it this far, but they won’t for much longer the way those walkers and gunfire sounds are moving closer.”, you told them quickly. You addressed Finn and Poe this time. “I need you two to take them out of here while Rey and I keep moving forward.”

Poe sputtered at that, wasting no time in voicing his dislike of the change in plans.

“Wait, whoa, hold on. We shouldn’t split up. We can take them with us all together and then come back, it’s too dan-”

“That’s right, it is too dangerous, for the two of you especially. Rey is a Jedi, and I… well Kylo won’t hurt me. You did your part, you got me here safely. I should be going alone this next part, but I know you won’t let me do that, right? So please, do me this favor and help them. They’re the ones we’re fighting for right? Let me do what I can for them too.”, you insisted.

Poe opened his mouth to speak again, but this time Rey cut him off.

“She’s right, Poe. Ren is too powerful, you know that. I’ve been the only one who can go toe to toe with him and come back from it. You go help the children to safety and then go help the ground forces, they need it. I’ll watch out for this one, don’t worry.”, she said, glancing over at you with a supportive smile.

“Every second we waste here is a second I could be spending finding Kylo and trying to stop this destruction.  _ Please, Poe. _ ”, you finished, pleading with the commander, who still looked torn. 

Finn squeezed Poe’s shoulder. Poe looked at him helplessly, reading something in his friend’s face. He looked behind you to where Levi and Tika stood, their small frames trembling as they waited for their rescue. 

“Fine, but keep in contact. I don’t need you two going silent on the comms and us having to come save your self sacrificing asses.”, he huffed, wagging his finger in your face before heading over to the children.

“Hey there kiddos, my friend Finn and I are going to get you guys out of here and help you find your mom and dad, okay? Don’t worry, nothing else is gonna happen, I promise.”, he said with one of those dazzling smiles of his. 

Not even children were resistant to his natural charm and they quickly latched on to the two rebels. Finn lifted Tika into his arms while Poe led the boy by the hand back towards where you all had entered. Poe was speaking to his wrist, comming any available transports to the outside of the city for a evac. Finn stopped and whispered to Rey quickly before nodding at her and following Poe away from you both.

You took a deep breath you as you watched them retreat, and squared your shoulders. It was time to put an end to this. You turned back to the Jedi and dipped your head, restarting your journey into the city to find Kylo.

*

Your advance into the empty city was quiet aside from the sounds of battle and your breathing. The ground shuddered from the thundering steps of the AT-AT’s and the explosions that shook the buildings. You walked with your blaster aimed and ready for any possible threats, Rey mirroring your movements. You reached out with your senses, searching for the thread of your connection to Kylo, for that whisper of shadow you knew so well.

_ Come find me Kylo, please _ , you thought, sending it out into the ether, hoping it would find him.

A hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you. You glanced back at Rey, a questioning look on your face at her interruption. She was looking at something behind the two of you. You followed her gaze to where two dark figures emerged from around a corner. 

“ _ Well, well, well _ . Isn’t this quite the sight. Our little would-be mistress and the Jedi bitch. Seems like we didn’t give you enough credit. We’d heard you had escaped from the general’s execution, but after depriving you of food and sleep for so long, we were certain you would have collapsed before you’d made it very far.”, Ap’lek jeered, his voice even more serpentine through his helmet’s modulator.

“And you even made it to the enemy. You don’t even know how easy you’ve made our job, do you, (y/n)?”, Trudgen added.

You felt you eye twitch. Not letting them rile you too much more than that, schooling your face into a smirk, letting yourself slip into the cool act you’d used all of your life.

“ _ Hello, boys _ . Thought I’d come see how you’ve been in my absence. Did you really think you could keep me away, especially after trying to throw me out like garbage?”, you purred, aiming your blaster at Trudgen’s helmet. “Too bad you fucked up. You should have just ejected me out of the airlock, would have saved yourself all this trouble. Now I’m going to make sure that you pay for taking me away from him.”

“You know you can’t hurt us with a blaster, doll.”, Trudgen chuckled, raising his massive blade up, mocking your threat. 

“Maybe she can’t, but I certainly can with a lightsaber.”, Rey said tightly before pulling her saber from her belt and igniting it.

She spoke to you as she sunk into an opening stance, feet planted shoulder-width apart and blade in a two handed grip parallel to her torso.

“If they’re here, then the others are nearby too, and so is Ren. Trust in the Force, (y/n). It will guide you to him. Be careful.”, she said gently before throwing herself towards the warriors, yelling as she ran.

Engaging both of them at once, they barely had time to register her attacks as she sliced at them, blocking and parrying before managing to switch from defensive to offensive maneuvers. You watched as the Jedi single handedly took on two of the most fearsome warriors you’d ever seen in battle, her fighting style more polished than when you’d last seen, but that feral spirit she possessed still shining underneath. There was a hint of darkness in her too, you realized. Rage burned inside her like that hot desert that had forged her. Rey was a force of nature, and you were glad that this time, you were on her side rather than on the other side.

A caress on the edge of your awareness drew your attention from the fight, away from where the knights fought to keep Rey at bay. That soft shadow laced with anger and sadness called out to you. You let it pull you along, like it had on the ship, but this time you kept your pistol raised up in defense, lest you run into some stormtroopers or, Maker forbid, the other four knights. You crept along carefully, grasping at the bond, trying to feel him on the other side. 

“ _ Kylo, where are you, dammit? _ ”, you whispered.

You heard a large group of footsteps approaching up ahead, and ducked into the doorway of a building, cautiously stepping over the broken glass of the door. You pressed yourself against the wall in the darkness as a formation of stormtroopers marched past, waiting until you barely heard them before stepping back out into the dusk filled street. Night was quickly descending and you were becoming agitated as you continued your search. That pull was beginning to waver and you were starting to wonder if he was actually calling you consciously or not.

He’d seemed so surprised to see you back in the engine room on the  _ Falcon _ when you’d found him speaking to Rey. And the way that look of relief that had so quickly transformed into one of anger made your stomach turn. You were grateful Rey wouldn’t be there when you found him. You hoped she and the others got far away from this mess. You felt wracked with guilt that so many people had been hurt because of your carelessness. You hadn’t wanted this, you’d only wanted peace and safety, but instead the galaxy had been engulfed in strife and death. 

Because of you. 

You let out a shuddering gasp, feeling overwhelmed by your emotions.

“Please, Kylo. Please find me. This has to end.”, you said out loud again, your voice weak. 

You closed your eyes and silently begged the Force for help. You focused yourself inwardly, feeling for that well of power that flowed in everything, that connected you to the rest of the universe. Not just the light, but the dark too. You reached out to it, reached out to feel for that connection.

You felt it then. So much closer than you had realized. You felt him. His anger, his hatred,  _ his sorrow _ . The very core of his darkness was entrenched in his pain and betrayal. His loneliness was masked by fury, but you had seen that hidden part of him and you knew that it was this part of him that was screaming out into the void, desperate for someone to find him. 

Your eyes snapped open and you raced to where you felt him nearby. You nearly tripped over yourself as you flew around the corner of the building where his Force signature called you. 

And then there he was, shoulders heaving as he stared down at a young man in a resistance fighter uniform sitting on the ground, one arm behind his as he tried to crawl backwards, his other arm raised above him defensively as he begged for his life. Three other soldiers’ bodies were sprawled out on the ground, lightsaber wounds visible. Kylo raised his arms, lightsaber screaming in his hands, ready to strike him down when you screamed out to him. 

“ _ KYLO, DON’T!” _

Kylo’s arms stilled just before he was about to cut the rebel down, his body going rigid at your voice. You ran forward to throw yourself between the two of them when his other arm shot out, palm open, freezing you in place. He looked over at you, a mask of cold fury on his face. He worked his jaw before he spoke to you. 

“Wait your turn.”

He slashed down the man’s chest as you watched on in horror. The soldier fell back with a sickening thud, no longer moving. Bile rose in your throat at the sight. Kylo finally turned his focus to you, the blade still ignited. He made no move to close the gap between you though, even after releasing his grasp on you. 

“I should have known better.”, he said after a prolonged silence. 

You tore your eyes from the body on the ground. 

“What?”

This only seemed to irritate him further, his mask faltering, his mouth parting slightly as his breathing became uneven. 

“I know who you are, so stop with the act,  _ traitor _ . I should have known better than to trust a spy. Deception is what you’re best at, isn’t it? So drop the act, rebel scum.”

His words broke the hold that had been keeping you in place even after his telekinetic grip on you had disappeared. You stepped towards him, hand reaching towards him as you answered him. 

“Kylo,  _ no _ , that’s not- That’s not true, none of this is an act! I only went to the Resistance after the order betrayed  _ me _ ! I was-“, you began to explain, realizing the change in the narrative Project Eternal must have given him. 

Your throat suddenly closed up as an invisible hand fisted around it, stopping you from speaking. Kylo’s fingers were pinching together at his side as the grip tightened. You scrabbled at your throat uselessly trying to loosen the hold, to try and breathe under its clutch. 

“ _ Enough with the lies! _ ”, he spat, raising his lightsaber to point at you accusingly. Tears filled your eyes as you struggled against his choke hold. 

“ _ Kylo… please…Ky-lo, please… don’t do this. _ ”, you whimpered, begging as your vision clouded with the tears and spots appeared. “ _ I love you. _ ”

His grip loosened on you, letting you inhale just enough to clear your vision. His eyes had become glassy and his bottom lip trembled. You felt his emotions warring inside him, his need for vengeance fighting the need to protect you, despite your apparent betrayal. The latter won out as the invisible hand on your neck released you again, your legs giving way underneath you. You fell onto your hands and knees, the rough concrete digging into your palms. You hacked and coughed as you caught your breath. You heard him yell in frustration and start pacing around. 

“Please just listen to me, Kylo. There is a group within your ranks who are using you. I thought they wanted to overthrow you,  _ but I was wrong _ . They want to use your power to gain control over the galaxy. I was investigating them and they found out, so they took me from you. I didn’t choose this! They were going to kill me and I got away, you have to understand-“

He cut you off again. 

“Understand what? That you lied to me? Why didn’t you just come to me and warn me?”, he asked with narrowed eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about this ‘threat’ when you found out? We could have worked together to figure it out. But you kept it from me instead. And now you’re with Resistance, helping them instead.”

“I only went to them because Rey was the only one I could trust! She’s the one who warned me!”, you started again. 

“ _ She  _ warned you? When did she have contact with you? On Batuu?”, he said in disbelief. 

“No, after that. On Felucia, after the outpost, while you and the knights were fighting the rancor.”, you explained. 

“Again, you lied to me, (y/n)!  _ Why didn’t you tell me they were there?! _ ”, he roared. The ground below you shook, and your panic started to rise. His anger was becoming erratic. You rose back to your feet as you continued. 

“ _ Because we had gotten what we needed _ ! And they could have taken me, or killed me even! But they didn’t, instead they warned me about Project Eternal’s plot against you. I had to see if it was true. Because I cared too much for you to even think about letting something happen to you right under our noses. The Resistance was a priority for you, so I made it my priority to make sure your other enemies didn’t have a chance to hurt you while you were focused on your goal. But before I realized it, I was in too deep and they caught me. And they  _ tortured  _ me for it.”, you shouted back. 

His eyes widened a fraction and everything seemed to go still as he absorbed your words. 

“I escaped with my life and turned to the only people who had helped me outside of the order. Rey and the others have been nothing but kind to me. Wary at first, yes, but they listened to me and agreed to help me warn you. To make you see this madness has to end. Kylo, this war isn’t helping anyone. It’s only leading to more pain and chaos.”, you told him, voice soft and beseeching. “But we can stop this. Together.”

His face softened at your offer. You took a few steps towards him, but he didn’t stop you this time. When you reached him, you slipped your hand into his free one, and squeezed. 

“This can end today. I spoke to Leia, she is truly sorry for the past. She wants to make amends with you. She misses you so much, and wants you to come home.”

He trembled as you raised your other hand to his cheek. 

“I know you think you’re alone, Kylo, but you’re not. Come back with me..”

His lightsaber extinguished and was clipped back to his belt. His hand came up to cover yours, grasping it in his. Your heart pounded in your chest as he looked down at you, face unreadable as he gave you his answer. 

“No.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. He dropped your hands and stepped away from you while you reached out to where he’d been standing, grasping at nothing but the empty air. 

“If you want this war to end, you can tell Organa to stop her forces and surrender.”, he said defiantly. 

“But… What about Project Eternal? Kylo, you can’t be serious! There’s more, they’re somehow related to the Sith. I don’t know how far, but this is serious, don’t do thi-“

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll figure it out myself. They might be using my power, but they always have. But this time, I’m the Supreme Leader, and they will still submit to me in the end. Just as the Resistance will. And so will you.”

He swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing as he considered his next words. 

“But you don’t have to, (y/n). You have a choice.”, he said, staring intently at you as he presented you with his counter offer. “You can choose me. Leave the rebels to their fate and come back with me. I can protect you. I won’t let them touch you again. We can end this together, with you at my side. We can rule this new empire together instead..”

It was your turn to take a step back. Levi and Tika’s terrified faces came to mind. 

“At what cost Kylo? At the cost of how many more innocent lives? I can’t sit by anymore and turn a blind eye to the crimes of the First Order. I thought we were doing these things for the good of the galaxy, but this? Massacring cities,  _ planets _ ? Abducting children to brainwash them into soldiers? I admit I’ve done terrible things for the cause, but this is too much. A kingdom of ashes isn’t worth it, surely you see that?”

His mask slammed back down into place. 

“You’ve made your choice then.”

You nodded, chest and throat tight with pain. 

He looked away from you before speaking to you again. 

“You need to leave.  _ Now _ .”, he warned you. 

“Kylo-“, you started. 

“ _ Don’t. _ My knights are on their way, you’d best leave before they get here.”

You flinched at his rough tone. You let out a shuddering breath before turning on your heel and leaving the Supreme Leader to himself. You heard his lightsaber ignite, and its screams as it hacked at the walls that surrounded him, a pained shout echoing behind you. 

You held in your tears until you were far enough away that you were sure no one else was around. You’d felt the warriors nearby as you ran past but something else had kept their attention away from you as you bolted through the streets, retracing the path you’d taken, trying to feel for Rey’s Force signature. Your emotions made it difficult to focus on your attempts, your control over the ability wavering as tears dreamed down your face. Your heart was breaking into pieces at his rejection. 

You’d failed. You’d only had one job and you’d failed. You’d told him the truth and he’d believed you, and it hadn’t mattered to him. He’d chosen power over you. And now he was going to let the galaxy burn as he watched.

A sob wracked your body, your tears blurring your vision. You wiped your arm across your eyes as you continued to run, and you collided with a thin body in your moment of blindness. 

“ _ Oof! _ ”

“Rey?!”

You untangled yourself from her, gathering yourself and suppressing your tears as you looked her over. She had a few cuts and scrapes on her limbs, a nasty purpling bruise on her cheekbone, but otherwise looked no more worse for wear. She checked you over as well, deflating a bit in relief that you were unharmed. She noted the tear tracks on your face though and looked perturbed to see you flustered.. 

“Stab in the dark here, but I’m going to guess things didn’t go to plan?”, she asked dejectedly. 

You only nodded before standing up and reaching down to help her up as well. 

“ _ For Kriff’s sakes.  _ Well… what are we going to do now?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat before answering. 

“We need to find the others and warn the fleet. Things are about to get so much worse. Something big is about to happen. He let me go.”, you told her through lingering sniffles. 

Rey raised her commlink to her face to comm the others as panic settled into her. 

“Finn, I’ve found (y/n), but we’ve got a problem. Ren’s not with us and you need to alert the general to pull out and quickly. We’re not sure what but something is going to happen. We need to get everyone we can evacuated and leave immediately.”, she instructed. 

The comm crackled as he responded. 

“Copy that. But what about you two?”, he replied. 

“We’ll be fine, we’ll get back to Chewie and BB-8 and meet you guys back at base.”, she assured him. 

“That’s a few hours back to the ship! It’s dark out and I can’t imagine it’s going to be as safe a journey back. Wait for us, we’ll come get you.”

“Finn, no, just focus on getting everyone out, please. We can’t just leave Chewie and BB out there on their own either. We’ll make it back, just trust us.”, Rey repeated. 

You heard him groan over the comm before answering again. 

“Alright, be careful. See you soon.”, he acquiesced. 

The two of you quickly set off back to the edge of the city and back through the wall. Retreating back into the forest, you watched as the remaining Resistance forces began taking off from the encampment in the city and began to flee. It wasn’t long before a familiar black ship was rising out from the edge of the city as well, shooting down the rebel craft, picking them off while the TIE’s headed back into the black as well to their star destroyers. The  _ Night Buzzard  _ was followed behind lazily, making a slow ascension out of the atmosphere. 

And then an ion cannon blast leveled what was left of the city, turning it into a smoldering crater. The two of you ducked below the cliff that you’d climbed earlier as the shockwave from the blast blew overhead. Trees snapped in half and debris rained down on you. Now both covered in small cuts but out of immediate danger, you headed back to the ship. 

You were the one to break the heavy silence that loomed over you after your defeat. 

“I’m so sorry.”, you said aloud. 

“For what?”, she asked. 

“For everything I guess. But especially for failing. I should have tried harder.”, you elaborated. 

“Why in the Maker’s name are you sorry for  _ that _ ? That wasn’t your fault. He’s the one who failed you. I told you he’s stubborn. Gets it from his parents. Stubborn as Banthas, those two.”, she snorted. 

She was trying to console you, but it did little to soothe the sting of rejection and failure that left you feeling hollow. 

“You did what you could. If Kylo still couldn’t see reason from the person he loves, then I’m afraid he’s too far gone. All we can do now is keep fighting. I know we all started off on the wrong foot, but we could really use your help. And we could help train you with your connection to the Force. If you’d like, anyways.”, she offered quietly. 

You looked at her surprised. 

“You’re serious? Even with everything I’ve done?”, you asked her. 

“No one is perfect. We’ve all made mistakes, done things we’re not proud of. The thing that sets us apart from the others is whether or not we regret doing them or not. And you just apologized for yours. That’s good enough for me. And if anyone else has any problems with that, they’re going to find themselves against more than just me.”, she said with a cheeky smile. 

You both fell silent again, but this time it was lighter, the burden of your guilt lessened in light of the Jedi’s forgiveness and acceptance of your apology. You thought of the kids you’d helped save again. The ones without voices. You could help them, help make a difference. This time on the side that actually cared. 

Kylo’s face and his pain came back to you too. 

_ I’ll help you too. Even if you don’t realize it. I’ll help save you too.  _


	25. Different, But Similar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few months since you joined the Resistance, and you've found it easier than you thought it would be. You have friends now. Real friends who actually care about you. But try as you might. There's just one person you can't seem to let go of. And maybe he can't let go of you either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you missed me, my lovelies?
> 
> I've missed you.
> 
> And I've seen your comments.
> 
> And I am so, SO SORRY!
> 
> I didn't mean to take so long with this update. But between the stress of the election, and a terrible lay off at work, my anxiety has been so crazy, writing was not as easy as I hoped. And so I went camping, we had thanksgiving, and I finally sat myself down and made myself write. This isn't a long one, but next chapter will make up for it. I guarantee it. You all deserve the smut I have planned for it. Yes, you read that right, SMUT. So until then, I hope this suffices. I can't guarantee I will be posting another update next week, as we move into December with the holidays coming up, but I will do my best, I can promise you that.
> 
> I hope this week finds you well, so until next time, enjoy~
> 
> -Stevie

####  Three months later…

The sounds of the jungle mingled with the sounds of the base starting to wind down for the night. Operations never ceased on Ajan Kloss, not with the First Order growing in power and strength every day, but they weren’t quite as hectic now as they were during the day. The sun had dipped below the horizon about fifteen minutes prior and the lanterns scattered around the base were starting to flicker to life. Despite the humidity, a chill laid in the air, and you rubbed your arms to try and warm yourself.

“Here.”, Rey said as she approached you, offering you a blanket.

You took it from her before she sat down on the top of the  _ Falcon _ next to you. 

“Thanks.”, you smiled at her, grateful for the extra layer that you pulled around yourself. 

She had one wrapped around her own shoulders and returned your smile before looking down at the people below. A few people were headed to their bunks for the night while others headed to their respective stations for shift changes. A few passerbys noticed the two of you and waved at you. You waved back, recognizing Lieutenant Connix as one of them. She’d been another one of those who’d welcomed you with open arms. To be honest, there really hadn’t been anyone who’d complained openly about your arrival and integration into the Resistance. You supposed it helped that the last defector had proven to be a valuable resource of information and becoming a war hero shortly after joining them.

You’d been working with the Resistance’s intelligence network for the past few months, and training with Leia and Rey in between. They’d offered to train with you more, but you’d politely declined every time. Rey’s progress was much quicker than your own, and you’d understood that your real value was in helping decode enemy transmissions and going on intel gathering missions. You’d joined Poe, Finn, and Rey more often than not by Leia’s orders. Sometimes all three, sometimes just Finn and Poe when Rey had to stay behind and train. It had taken a little while to get past your initial reservations, but after a few instances of escaping near death experiences together, your relationship with the trio had strengthened tremendously. 

“You’ve changed quite a bit since the first time we met.”, Rey mused aloud to you. 

You looked over to her. She was looking at the stars overhead. 

“How do you mean?”, you asked. 

“You’ve become… more open. And trusting. You and I are similar in that aspect. It’s not just the fact that we were enemies before. I can sense it in you. You were always a guarded person, you had to rely on yourself for your safety and even after you joined the First Order, you still kept to yourself. Not letting anyone get too close, because doing so meant risking getting hurt. And then you did. You let someone in.”

She looked at you then. 

“Yes. I let him in. And it was hard. But we tried, together. And it did change me. Even though it left me picking up the pieces of myself that I had hoped wouldn’t break. But you were there. And Leia. And Finn. And Poe. And you helped me pick up those pieces. And it made me realize that I don’t have to be alone in my pain. That  _ I _ don’t have to be alone. And stars, Rey, I want that for him too. Because even after everything, he’s so lonely and it hurts knowing he thinks he deserves it. Because those bastards make him think he has to be alone.”, you answered, emotions building in your voice. 

Sympathy shone in her eyes and she nodded. 

“I miss him so much. Sometimes I talk out loud when I’m alone, hoping he can hear me, hoping he’ll respond. It’s stupid, I know. But I just remember how things I could never imagined possible happened with him, so I let myself hold onto that hope. That one of these times, the Force will guide him back to me. That it will smile upon me again like it did on the  _ Falcon _ .”

“Perhaps it will. Seeing as how I’ve still no clue how he and I are connected, maybe your bond with him will manifest in a similar manner. Believe me when I say I would love nothing more than to be rid of it. I’d give it to you in a heartbeat if I could.”, Rey scoffed, exasperation clear in her voice. 

“You’ve seen him since that last time?”, you asked. 

“Mmm. Yeah a couple of times. You were on missions both times.”, she admitted. “He’s still an absolute ass, trying to goad me onto slipping up and giving him something. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it before, I just thought it might not be helpful for you…”, she trailed off, the silence feeling awkward. 

You quickly changed the subject. 

“You know there’s something that’s been bothering me lately.”, you scooched yourself around so your body was turned to her. “The holocrons I brought with me, I think there’s more than just those lists in them.”

“Wait, what?! What makes you think that?”, she exclaimed, interest piqued. 

“We’ve already opened them and confirmed the lists are safe, right?”, you started. “Then why is it that they still call to me?”

“Did you try meditating with them again?”

“Just once, but I was interrupted. I haven’t been able to do much else besides work, eat, and sleep with all the activity we’ve been monitoring lately. Seems like things are starting to ramp up on the other side.”, you answered grimly. 

“Well I would recommend finding some time to try again. Who knows what else could be hidden inside if you’re right. Maybe something actually useful in this fight.”, she said, hopeful. 

You nodded in agreement before checking the chrono in your wrist. 

“I better head to bed, I’ve got a shift in 8 hours.”, you told her, standing up and handing her back the blanket. 

“Sleep well. See you tomorrow.”, she said, taking it from you. 

You headed back down inside the Falcon and then out the exit ramp towards your tent. You’d been situated close to your workstation, Leia’s sleeping quarters nearby as well. You spotted the general inside, data pad in her hands as she sat at her desk. The golden protocol droid who was a near constant presence at her side stood nearby as well, their conversation muffled from the distance you were at. 

Her head lifted as you strode by, and swiveled to catch your gaze as you passed. 

“(Y/n), wait. I need you for a second.”, she called out to you. 

You reversed your path and headed up to her. 

“‘Threepio, go inform the Commander for me.”, she said to the droid. 

“Of course General.”, he bowed before exiting the makeshift room. 

You stopped a few feet away from her before you greeted her. “Yes, General?”

“We’ve been receiving reports about rumors of appearances of people in dark robes in the Outer Rim. I think our friends are starting to make their moves away from the cover of the First Order. I need you to go check out the validity of these claims.”, she told you. 

“Of course. Give me twenty minutes to prep and I can be ready.”, you answered, exhaustion already ebbing away at the adrenaline from this new development. 

Her mouth set in a hard line. 

“You need to rest. You worked twelve hours today already after only getting four hours of sleep last night.”, she said. 

You began to protest but she held a hand up to quiet you. 

“This is important, and I  _ need _ you to be well rested and on top of your game for this. Especially with Poe joining you, understood? He might be our best pilot and a skilled commander, but he’s certainly not our best spy and I need someone like you to help keep him in check.”

Your face cracked into a smile at the jab at the commander. 

“Then why send him with me?”, you asked jokingly. 

“Because he’s the best pilot we’ve got and you have no piloting skills to speak of.”, she gibed at you with a smirk and narrowed eyes. 

She had you there. 

“You leave in 10 hours. I suggest you take my advice and get some rest.”, she said, eyes dropping back to her datapad.

“Understood.”

You turned to leave before stopping and looking at her over your shoulder. 

“Good night, Leia.”

The corners of her lips lifted slightly. 

“Good night.”

You left her to her work and resumed your walk to your bunk. 

You lifted the flap and ducked inside the private space. You sat on your cot and kicked your boots off before pulling your legs up onto the bed as well. Unbuttoning your shirt, you peeled it off and folded it to rest on the crate you’d claimed as a side table, next to the lamp that illuminated the small quarters. Focusing your mind, you held your hand out to the bag slumped over in the corner opposite you. You let yourself feel the Force through you, as an extension of your mind and body, and called the bag to you. It lifted from the ground and sailed into your hand easily. 

You might have forgone the intensive training Rey was receiving, but you’d still accepted the opportunity to learn more than you’d been able to with Kylo. It was slow, but you’d gotten meditation and telekinesis down for the most part, and it was definitely useful to be able to move things with your mind. Not quite at the same level as either of them, but the connection to the Force was widening and you were proud of yourself for making it as far as you had. 

You pulled out the two blue and gold cubes, holding one in each hand. You let that gentle warmth seep into your palms, the sense of calm that came with it enveloping you. Closing your eyes, you focused on that feeling as you sank into a meditative state. Breathing in deeply through your nose and exhaling from your mouth, you focused on emptying your mind, repeating the mantra you’d found in one of the texts Rey let you borrow. 

_ I am one with the Force and the Force is with Me.  _

The holocrons lifted from your hands, their whispers encouraging you to look deeper. You felt their parts open and shift, the puzzle pieces moving to unlock with your prodding. 

Silence filled the room, the whispers hushing as a presence joined you. A feather soft caress on your face made you go still and your chest tightened. You screwed your eyes shut even tighter for fear the shadow sighing around you would flee if you opened them. 

“You’ve been practicing.”

You nodded. You felt him move closer. 

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m afraid.”

“Do I scare you now?”

“I’m afraid if I open my eyes, you won’t really be there. That I’m dreaming. I don’t want to wake up if that’s the case.”

He moved towards you before stopping in front of you. 

You could feel how close he was, his breath on your face. You gasped at the sensation. Tears welled up. 

“(Y/n), please.”

Your eyes snapped open at his plea and the tears ran down your cheeks. Warm hazel eyes bored into yours as he tried to wipe a tear away from your face, his touch non-existent. His hand simply seemed to pass through your face, as if he was just a spirit. 

Maker, he was so devastatingly beautiful. It’s not like you’d forgotten that. How could you? Not when he haunted your dreams nearly every night since you’d left him in the city months ago. 

“Kylo.”, you whispered, your eyes soaking up every detail of his face so near to yours. 

It took every ounce of your willpower not to try and pull him to you and wrap yourself around him. 

“How are you... how- how is this happening?”, you stammered, averting your eyes from his lips, trying to focus on anything but that urge that screamed at you inside your head. 

“I was meditating and I heard you call. I followed it here. This isn’t like the connection with Rey. At least I don’t think it is. This is… different.”, he responded. 

His eyes were on your lips now. You leaned back in an effort to put some space between the two of you. He got the message and stood straight again. 

“I didn’t call you.”, you told him. 

The eye twitch. Why did it make your heart skip still?

“Then why am I here? Why did I feel the longing you’re trying to hide from me now? You miss me and it’s so strong that it called me to you. You’ve only yourself to blame for that pain.”

His words stung like a slap, and you flinched. They’d hit a nerve and you could only lash back out. 

“You must miss me too then. Why else would you come after months of me trying to reach you without success? Don’t act like you’ve moved on when we both know damn well neither of us have.”, you shot back. 

“Because I was curious to see how far you’ve fallen since you left. A traitor to the person who could have given her everything and anything. And now you’re just another soldier, biding your time until death finds you, just like the rest of your rebel scum friends.”, he shot back snidely.

You scoffed in disbelief.

“You’re still terrible at lying, I see.”

“ _ And you’re so good at it you’ve managed to make yourself believe the lies you keep telling yourself _ .”, he spat. 

Your irritation was quickly growing into red hot anger. 

“The only  _ lying _ I did to myself was deluding myself into believing the First Order cared about people rather than power. All we did was hurt people. How many innocent people’s lives are to be taken in retribution for the crimes of others? How many children have to lose their parents and families?  _ How many families have to lose their children for your revenge? _ ”, you demanded, angry tears streaming down your face now. 

He stilled at your words.

“Tell your general that you all will either surrender or be destroyed until this galaxy submits to the First Order. And don’t expect another visit the next time you call for me. Because the only way you’ll see me again is on the battlefield or with you surrendering to me.”, he stated.

And then you were alone again. The holocrons murmured words of comfort and light to you, urging you to try and find their secrets again.

Instead, you shoved them back into their bag and tossed it under your bed before turning off the lantern and pulling the covers over your head. 

Even with the noises of the camp and creatures in the trees, the tent felt heavy with the quiet and emptiness that now filled the air. You cursed to yourself and squeezed your eyes shut, desperate for sleep to pull you under and relieve you from the pain of your encounter with Kylo. You wanted to hate him for getting under your skin. But that was impossible.

*

You were leaning up against the hull of the  _ Tantive IV _ , sipping your caf while you waited for Poe. He was on board the corvette, finishing up with a final briefing with Leia before the two of you and BB-8 left for Nar Shadda. You’d laughed a bit when you’d heard that you’d be heading to the Smuggler’s Moon. That you were going to the place that Arrus Kreek had overheard the conversation between two figures in dark robes speak of the outpost on Felucia. It had only made sense that they’d still be lingering around on a planet full of criminals and seedy dealings. You couldn’t throw a stone there without hitting someone who was involved with some sort of awful scheme or plot.

You took another sip of the steaming bitter drink, letting it invigorate you into a more wakeful state. You’d barely slept last night. And each time you had managed to slip into unconsciousness, Kylo’s face stared at you, expressions varying from hate to scorn to betrayal. And each time, you’d tried to speak to him but no words left your mouth, leaving you to scream silently in frustration.

“ _ Dank farrik. _ ”, you cursed under your breath as the unpleasant memory tugged at your heart. Hadn’t you promised you were going to help him? But instead you’d just pissed him off.

“What was that?”, Poe asked, walking down the ramp with BB-8 rolling beside him.

You winced at getting caught saying the vulgar phrase.

“Nothing. We ready to go?”, you lied, smiling at your friend.

“For you sweetheart? I’m always ready.”, he joked.

“Awww, it’s cute how you think you could handle me,  _ Commander. _ ”, you teased. 

“Care to test that theory,  _ agent _ ?”

BB-8 groaned at the both of you before beeping annoyedly at the two of you.

_ Can we please get a move on, you two? _

You grinned sheepishly at the droid and Poe, a little embarrassed at being chastised by the astromech.

“Let’s go.”

The three of you headed to the docking area, with Poe in the lead.

“I hope you’ve been practicing your shooting, (y/n).”

“Why?”, you asked, suspicious.

“Because we’re taking a tandem, and in the likely event we have to make a quick getaway,  _ you’re _ going to be manning the cannons.”, he explained.

“We’re taking a X-wing to the Smuggler’s Moon? Really? We might as well wear signs that say, ‘We’re with the Resistance, please shoot us’ and get it over with.”

“I’ve got a contact there that’s agreed to help us, don’t worry about it. Besides you won’t be complaining when we’ve got the jump on any pursuers when we outfly them all in this baby.”, Poe said, slapping the side of the starfighter you’d stopped in front of. 

At least it was black.

He walked over to a nearby crate and pulled out two flight suits and tossed you one. You caught the insulated orange suit and held it up. You undid the velcro fastening and pushed one leg inside, watching Poe as he pulled his own on with practiced ease and speed. Once he was suited up, he assisted you with the rest of your own, attaching the ventilator to your chest and tightening the harnesses on your legs. He stood up and gave you a once over before nodding his approval.

“Gotta say, you look better in orange then I would have guessed.”

“Mmm, feels a little too obnoxious for my tastes. It definitely suits you more.”, you replied with a smirk.

“All right wise guy, let’s do this.”

Helping you up the ladder into the front interior, you settled into the hard seat of the cockpit, taking notice of the gunner controls in front of you. Poe dropped into his own seat behind you, his boots nudging the backs of your arms.

“Well isn’t this just cozy.”.

“Better get used to it-”, he started the engine, the roar of it nearly drowning out his words, “-’Cause we’ll be in here for a couple of hours, even at sublight. You all strapped in?”

You gave him two thumbs up.

“You ready little buddy?”, he asked his droid. 

An affirmative beep sounded behind him.

Poe pulled the yoke back, the ship responding and lifting from the ground. It wasn’t long before you were hurtling over the treeline and up into the atmosphere. The stars greeted you as you reached the black and Poe flicked some switched, preparing to engage the hyperdrive.

“Alright BB, set course for Nar Shadda and make the jump.”, he instructed the astromech.

The stars stretched into infinity and you sank further into your seat, trying your best to get comfortable in the confined space. You remained quiet for the next ten minutes or so while your co-pilot radioed back to base that you were on course and your estimated time of arrival. The chill of hyperspace still managed to seep into the thick material of your suit and the clothes you wore underneath. You wrapped your arms around yourself and rubbed them, trying to generate a little bit of heat. Poe was focused on the computer in front of him as you turned to look over your shoulder at him.

“ _ Maker _ , Poe, how do you manage to keep yourself warm in these things? We’ve only been in the black for a little while and I’m freezing. And I’m pretty sure I’m wearing more layers than you are under the suits.”, you commented, your skin turning to gooseflesh.

He huffed a laugh and peeked around his console down at you.

“You get used to it after a while. When my mom taught me how to fly, she used to bundle me up so I wouldn’t get too cold when she would take me up. Then after a while, she started to reduce the amount of clothes so I could get used to it. Still not comfortable, but it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.”, he recounted.

This was the first time you’d heard about his past beyond his time in the Resistance, and you were intrigued.

“...What’s her name?”, you asked softly.

“Her name was Shara Bey. She died six years after the Battle of Endor. I was only eight at the time.”, he answered sadly.

You felt a pang of sympathy at his admission. You might not have known your parents, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t understand how hard it must have been to lose someone so precious. You remained quiet as he continued on, his eyes soft as he recalled more of his past.

“She had flown alongside Green squadron during the civil war, as an A-wing pilot. She met my dad, Kes, during their time together in the Alliance, and they had me two years after the Battle of Yavin. I didn’t see them a whole lot during the war, but when I did, my mom let me sit in her lap and help her fly when she was home with us. She instilled my love of flying into me during those times, and I’m so grateful for those times we shared. I might have made some mistakes before I made it to the Resistance’s forces, but the memories of her and my dad helped me realize where I belonged.”

You nodded solemnly when he finished. You turned back in your seat to look through the canopy. You cleared your throat as you gave him a piece of your own past in return.

“I never had the chance to know my parents, I was less than a year old when they died. A fire broke out in the apartment building we lived in, or at least that’s what they told me when I was old enough to understand and ask why I was an orphan. We’d lived in the slums of Coronet City, and no real investigation had ever really been done to discover if it had been an accident or intentional. But I had been one of the few survivors, someone had heard my crying and broke in and found me. My parents had been asleep in their room when the fire trapped them inside. I had been in another room and that’s where my savior found me. Never got the chance to meet them either though, they dropped me off with the emergency services and took off. And then I was taken to the orphanage. And from there, the rest is history. Street rat turned spy, turned rebel. Who could have imagined?”, you said dryly.

“You know, I’m starting to think there isn’t a single person in the Resistance who doesn’t have some sad or messed up history that led them to where they are.”, he said, a grimace on his face.

“Probably not.”, you agreed. 

You looked at your reflections in the transparisteel. You both looked pitiful, faces haunted by your pasts. You decided it was best to change the subject.

“So, this contact of yours, do I dare ask how you know someone from such a seedy and lawless place?”, you asked, trying to ease the tension.

He winced at your question before giving you a self-conscious smile. 

“Well let’s just say this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve visited Nar Shadda.”

Your eyebrows shot up, his tone giving you the impression it likely hadn’t been for Resistance business either.

“Poe Dameron, do you mean to tell me you’re not as squeaky clean as you’ve led me to believe?”, you asked with exaggerated disbelief at this apparent scandal.

He scratched at his head, dragging the hand through his curls. He bit his lip and looked at your eyes in the reflection before sighing.

“This stays in this cockpit, okay? This is something I’ve never really told anyone else… I, uh, I used to run spice with a crew from Kijimi, and there were more than a few visits to the moon when we were on smuggling runs. My contact there used to be a part of the crew too, but he’d retired a few years after I left, settling on Nar Shadda and opening a club there. He still helps circulate the spice inside, but his smuggling days are over. I saved his life a couple of times and he’s always keen to help me out when I ask for a favor. He’s got a private docking bay where we’ll be able to hide the ship while we go look for our targets.”, he explained.

A grin had broken out on your face while he spoke, finding it hilarious that the commanding officer behind you had such a surprising criminal background. Rebel indeed.

“Promise me you won’t go blabbing about this, alright? It’s not something I share lightly, and it’s something I’ve regretted for a long time.”

You made a ‘my lips are sealed’ gesture and turned your shit eating grin into a reassuring smile.

“It’s like you said, it was a mistake. And it’s not my place to judge anyways, Maker knows I’ve made plenty of my own.”

“Besides working for the First Order, you mean?”, he teased.

You reached back and pinched his leg through his flight suit. He swatted your hand away playfully.

“Yeah, besides that… Before I joined the Order, I was on the streets, on my own. And when you’re in that position, there are only so many options you can choose from to survive. I had no real marketable skills, but I’d seen the way people looked at me when I walked through the slums. So I used that as a means to an end. Gave them what they wanted, what they needed. Touch… Release from their worries… A little bit of relief from their lonely lives. Just so I could eat for another day. I quickly realized people would talk if you pushed the right buttons. And it wasn’t long before I found people willing to  _ buy _ the information I could get out of my clients. One thing led to another and I was an informant for the First Order and then being enlisted into their intelligence network as a field agent. And that’s what I regret, letting myself be fooled into thinking I was using them more than they were using me.”

You rested your head against the headrest, the starlines illuminating your face. You felt your exhaustion slip back into your bones, the emotional drain of remembering your life back on your home planet taking it out of you. The cold didn’t help either, the need to preserve warmth sapping at your energy as well.

“So don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. Because I won’t hesitate to share yours if I hear mine going around too.”, you assured.

Silence permeated the cockpit as Poe let your story sink in.

“You weren’t lying when you said I couldn’t handle you then, huh?”, he finally said after a prolonged pause.

You snickered sleepily.

“Damn straight.”

He took a deep breath before exhaling.

“You still tired?”, he asked suddenly.

“A little bit.”

“We’ve still got a little over an hour and a half before we make our drop if you want to try and catch a nap. It’s not like I need you right now anyways.”, he offered.

Your eyes drooped a little from watching the ever stretching galaxy around you.

“Yeah… sounds good.”, you yawned.

Hopefully your rest would be dreamless.

“Hey.”, Poe called softly.

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you. For listening. And for sharing.”

“Mmmm.”, you hummed as your eyes closed. “Thank you too, Poe. For caring.”

  
  


*

Brown eyes opened from their meditation. He’d seen an all too familiar moon in a vision during his meditation with the crushed helmet under his hand. His father had taken him there once. It had been a secret trip, brought along while his mother had been at the Senate. It had been no place for a kid, but he’d loved every moment of that dangerous adventure.

He grabbed a commlink from the table besides him. Pressing a button, he called down to the hangar where his TIE was docked.

“Prepare my ship. I’m leaving immediately.”, the man commanded.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Thank you, grandfather.”, he said, hand brushing over the dark metal.

Pinning his cape onto his shoulders, Kylo left his quarters, another dark figure appearing next to him as he walked.

“Master?”, Vicrul asked.

“I’m headed to Hutt Space. I won’t be gone long.”, he stated.

Nodding, the Knight changed course and left the Supreme Leader alone on his path to his ship.

His destiny was somewhere on that moon. Now he just had to find it.


	26. Hope that fights the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've made it to Nar Shadda and something feels strange. Paths cross after sometime and words are exchanged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even apologize for how long this took me lol
> 
> Work has been crazy, I've been going on adventures on my weekends off and I met someone on tinder and I lived out a night that felt like fanfiction. This year has been wild.
> 
> Anyways, four more chapters guys. I hope you're looking forward to the next few chapters. It's kind of bittersweet, but I'm so excited to show you how it ends.
> 
> -Stevie

An incessant beeping roused you from unconsciousness, your eyes blinking open as you dropped from hyperspace. 

“What’s going on?”, you asked, voice thick with sleep. 

“Proximity alert, we’re making planetfall in five.”, Poe informed you. “I would ask if you slept well, but your snoring tells me you did.”, he chuckled. 

“I didn’t!”

BB-8 chirped in with a ‘ _ yes, you did! _ ’

You groaned, dragging a hand over your face, looking between your fingers while you watched the moon that was growing larger in the distance. It had been a while since you’d visited this vile place. As far as dens of scum and villainy went, the Hutt owned moon and its parent planet, Nal Hutta, took the cake. You prepared yourself for your descent as Poe steered you all into the smog laden atmosphere. Despite the lights littering the surface, it still felt as if the shadows would swallow anything that got too close. 

You shivered as another chill ran through you. Why were you still so cold? The planet was usually quite warm, the air pollution trapping in the heat of the planet. 

The ship dipped towards a large building, its roof opening for the ship as you approached. Centering the x-wing above the landing platform, Poe lowered it onto the solid ground, landing the vessel with practiced ease. You saw a well dressed, middle-aged man waiting at the edge of the platform, a genteel smile on his face. 

“That your contact?”, you asked Poe as you both removed your restraints and slipped out of your flight suits, the buckles and Velcro closures much easier to maneuver out of than they’d been putting on. 

“Yup, Ettan Vodi. Proprietor of the  _ Serpent’s Dance _ . I’m going to warn you now, he’s a bit of a lech.”, he answered, sliding the canopy back. 

“If I can deal with your flirting on a regular basis without knocking your teeth in, I think I can handle him.”, you responded dryly, pulling yourself out of your seat. 

“I resent that, you know?”

Releasing the ship’s ladder, Poe exited first and offered you a hand when you followed. You jut your lip out in mock sincerity.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings?”, you asked before smirking at him. 

He playfully shoved at your shoulder as you heard Ettan approach the two of you. 

“Poe Dameron, you absolute  _ scoundrel _ ! How dare you neglect to mention how beautiful and vivacious your partner was.”, Vodi drawled as he openly appraised your appearance. He grasped your wrist and sketched a short bow before pressing his lips to the back of your hand. You glanced at Poe as he rolled his eyes at his contact’s antics. 

“Oh, here we go.”, he groaned. 

“My dear lady, I must say you are far too good for my friend here. He is handsome, I will give you that, but you deserve to be lavished with luxuries this fine young commander couldn't begin to dream of.”, he said with a cunning grin. 

You pried your hand from his as you took a step back and huffed a laugh. 

“Don’t I know it. But luckily for him, we’re not together.”, you clarified. 

Ettan raised his head at your words, surprise and then a flirtatious swagger filling his eyes.

“ _ My apologies _ , my dear, for my most grievous error! It appears I misjudged your affections. I-“

Poe stepped forward and cut him off, arms open towards the loquacious man, strained grin on his face. 

“Vodi! It’s really good to see you again, buddy! And we appreciate your help, so,  _ so much _ , but we really do need to get a move on here. This mission could turn the tide of the war.”, Poe said, trying to press the importance of your mission to the other man.

Ettan straightened up and gave Poe a cunning smile, his demeanor becoming more serious. 

“Must you take the fun out of our introductions, my friend? Very well, I’ve got some new information you’ll want to hear anyways, if you’ll follow me.”, he said, turning towards the doors that led out of the hangar. 

You followed behind the two men with BB-8 at your side as you entered into a warmly lit and intimate looking office. You could hear muffled music from beyond another set of doors that you guessed led into the club proper, the bass a song felt even through the walls. Ettan gestured to the two ornate seats in front of a large darkwood desk and you both took them as he sat in his own, balancing his ankle on his knee. 

“Okay, Vodi, what’s this news?”, Poe asked him. 

“You’re after these Sith fiends, correct?”, the other man questioned, rubbing his chin. 

You’ve seen them?”, you asked. 

“Not personally, no. But a few of my personnel have seen them wandering around like black wraiths, hiding in the shadows and committing their nefarious deeds. Not to mention those dreadfully tight lipped officers they meet with. They might not be wearing their uniforms, but it’s quite easy to spot one of those First Order military types and the goons in masks that escort them.”, he told you as he checked out his manicured nails. 

“They bring stormtroopers? Here?”, Poe asked. 

“Oh no, the other ones, the ones in black, the ones who strut around with their fearsome weapons all scary-like. Knights or something right?”, he said, waving a hand as he tried to remember. 

“The Knights of Ren?”, you offered. 

“Ah, yes! Thank you, dove. Those absolute ghouls parading around as if they owned the place. Bad for business.”, he said, grimacing as he thought of them. 

“Definitely sounds like them.”, you groan. 

Why was it that it seemed they were always lurking around every corner?

“When was the last time the First Order was seen?”, Poe asked while you thought about the last time you went toe to toe with them. The only reason you had made it out mostly unscathed the last time was because you’d had Rey with you. 

“About a week ago. They’ve not been seen since, and my network hasn’t reported any new sightings since. But I would definitely recommend being on your guard… well, more so than usual in this town.”, Ettan responded with a flash of his teeth. 

“What about the cultists? Where were they seen last?”, you brought up. 

“That’s where you’re in luck, one of my girls saw a couple of them hanging around in one of the local spice dens about an hour ago. They rented a private room, real discreet. Just down the street, in fact. She’s not reported any movement yet, at least not at the entrance. She’ll point you in their direction if you’d like.”

You looked at Poe and nodded. You were ready to get some real answers. 

The two of you rose from your seats, and you leaned over the desk to Ettan. 

“Thank you so much for your hospitality, and for the information. I appreciate this kindness more than you know.”, you smiled. 

“You are quite welcome, little dove, all I ask is that you all keep me in mind when the Republic tries to make any moves to regulate our fine little moon out here. All of our ventures within this establishment might not be the most legitimate, but not everyone can go straight like out dear boy, Poe, here.”

You chuckled. And for the third time since you left the base, coldness overwhelmed you, making your muscles tense and teeth chatter a bit.

“We’ll see what we can do if it ever comes to that, Vodi, but I suggest you try to avoid getting yourself in too much trouble and I don’t think there will be a problem.”, Poe said, oblivious to your sudden discomfort. 

Poe might not have noticed your trembling, but a glance at Ettan told you he had. His gaze was trained on you, face betraying nothing, but his eyes telling you he had perceived the change. Something flickered in the depths, but he looked back at Poe before you could discern it’s meaning. 

“Very well,  _ Commander _ . I will do my utmost to strive to be a model citizen of the galaxy should we all find ourselves claimed under the Republic’s dominion.”, he answered exaggeratedly, waving a hand. “Now, if you head out of my office and follow the hall, you will find the exit quite easily. The business you’re looking for is just a few blocks down the road and when you arrive, be sure to greet my dear associate for further assistance. Do be careful, you two, I would hate to hear of your untimely demises.”

Poe nodded at his old associate before heading to the doors. You turned to follow when a hand grabbed your wrist again, grip urgent. You looked back at Ettan Vodi, his mouth set in a hard line. 

“They’ve been looking for you, my dear. Watch your back.”, he murmured quietly, so only you would hear. 

Your brows pinched in confusion. He let go of your arm before Poe called back to you two. 

“Vodi, let the poor girl alone already, she’s not interested.”, he said with an air of annoyance.

“Forgive me if I thought I could try one last time to try and lure the lovely creature to my side. Now on your way, my young rebels.”, he answered with a wink. 

Pasting a fake expression of amusement in your face you strode over to where Poe and BB waited and you exited the office together. 

“A real charmer, isn’t he?”, you said to Poe to cover up your anxiety at the man’s warning. 

“Told ya.”

*

The transport ship skimmed the clouds above the city as Kylo reached out to the Force, feeling the subtle currents and spikes of power down below. The sheer number of people packed into the city below made it that much harder to single out the Force Signatures he was looking for. But it wasn’t long before the oily black feeling of the Dark side that he associated with the Sith acolytes washed over him. The few times he’d deal with them, they always felt the same. Their greed and avarice for power, their desperation for it, always the same. He started his descent, pressing the steering yoke forward and radioing out to a nearby docking bay to make his landing and begin his search. 

A familiar spark of warmth and light reached out to him for a brief moment. It passed so quickly, he almost thought he’d imagined it, but it was too vibrant to be anything else but her. His chest tightened. 

He had to find them first, before she did. 

*

The three of you entered the dimly lit and sweet smelling front room of the den Ettan had directed you to. A young woman with dark hair sat at the desk, her face in a relaxed smile as you walked over to where she waited. The wavering purple lighting cast soft shadows on her, making her look ethereal and dreamlike, her makeup glittering in the light. 

“Welcome to Paradise, lovelies. What kind of dream are we looking for tonight?”, she asked, purring her words seductively. 

Poe gave her a smile of his own and leaned an arm on the counter. 

“Mmm, we’re actually looking for a couple of nightmares. Ettan sent us.”, he told her quietly. 

Her eyebrows lifted and she nodded softly. 

“Fourth floor, end of the hall. Room 427.”, she told him, eyes flicking from Poe to you. 

You dipped your head in thanks and headed to the hall beyond the counter, finding the turbolift a little ways down. Once you were all inside and you’d pressed the button to the fourth floor, you unholstered your blaster from your thigh and turned off the safety, Poe following your lead. 

“Once we get to the door, I’m going to knock and pretend I’m room service. Hopefully they’ll open, but if they don’t, BB-8, we’ll need you to unlock the door. You’re on standby, alright?”, you explained. 

Poe grinned.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. You know I love when you take the lead.”

You smiled back, anxiety forgotten for a moment. 

The turbo lift reached its stop, and you peered out the door to make sure no one was around in the hallways to spot you when you made your move. Luckily the hall was empty save for a service droid heading in the opposite direction, away from your destination. Motioning with your hand, you lead them forward down the corridor to the room. Poe stood on one side of the door, with BB-8 at the control panel, tool arm extended and primed if necessary. 

Holding your blaster in front of you, you rapped your knuckles on the door, and aimed the gun as you called out to the room's inhabitants. 

“Room service!”

You heard muffled voices inside, their words too quiet to hear, but their tone was noticeably confused. Footsteps approached the door and someone stopped just behind it. 

“We asked not to be disturbed. You are mistaken, we did not order anything.”, a voice said through the door. 

Whoever was inside was definitely not inebriated with the spice being consumed by the den’s other customers. 

“I apologize, sir. I was informed to deliver an urgent parcel to your room. The gentlemen who brought it were quite insistent. And they were very intimidating, with their masks and all.”, you responded, making your voice sound worried and a little terrified of possible consequences. 

The man on the other side muttered something about  _ idiotic barbarians _ and  _ could have commed us about this _ . But then the whirring of the lock opening sounded and you raised your pistol to where they would be standing in the doorway. The door slid open and a thin, robed man stood just inside the room. His eyes widened at the blaster being shoved in his face as you pushed him back inside with another hand, Poe and BB-8 following you in and closing the door again. The droid stayed by the door, slicing into the camera system to watch for anyone else who might come to investigate. 

Movement behind him alerted you to his companion, who had jumped from his seat when he saw you enter with your blaster in the other man’s face. He was younger, and quicker. 

He raised his hand to the glass in front you and a telekinetic blast shattered the windows before launching himself through and onto the balcony. He leapt up onto the railing, looked at you, and then disappeared up above with another unnatural leap. 

“POE! I’VE GOT HIM, WATCH THIS ONE!”, you yelled over the sound of the wind tearing into the room. 

You shoved the older one of the pair to your friend and chased after the escaped target, your pistol shoved back into its holster as you watched him climb onto the balcony above. You climbed onto the railing where it met the building and scaled the wall as best you could with the shallow handholds in the building’s side. He was gaining a lead over you quickly, his mobility far better than yours. 

_ Really regretting not training more with Rey and Leia now _ , you thought to yourself as you hauled yourself onto the balcony two floors below the roof. He was on top of it now, looking down at you with a smirk before pulling back from the edge. You picked up your pace and grit your teeth as your fingernails felt like they might crack from the stress you were putting them through. After a brutal couple of minutes of climbing and fighting the wind whipping at your face and back, you finally made it to the roof. You saw your target was now on the roof of the building across from you. You growled in frustration, but he didn’t make any other moves to try and escape further from you, maintaining his position there. 

You approached him slowly, hand hovering above your blaster before he addressed you from afar. 

“You’ve done well to get this far, but I’m afraid this is as far as you’ll make it, little spy.”, he said, his pointed accent making his smug smile even more irritating. 

“Of course you know who I am. Well then, if you know me, then you know I’m not too terrible of a shot. So I suggest you tell me what I want to know, else you’ll find yourself with a hole between your eyes. Besides, it’s not like I really need you, not with your friend still downstairs. But I thought I might give you a chance to give yourself up.”, you grated out. 

“I’m afraid he doesn’t know very much. He was more of a decoy while I separated you from your partner and the droid.”

You froze at his words, your breath catching. 

“You see, we’ve been expecting you for some time, hoping we’d catch your attention after your little display three months ago with Ren. You really are a nuisance and we’ve decided it’s time you’ve left this little game,  _ for good  _ this time.”, he said, his arm raising from his side, fingers outstretched to you. 

You whipped your pistol up and fired off a barrage of shots, desperate to make sure he couldn’t use the Force on you. The bolts merely deflected away from you, the last one turning back towards you instead. You threw yourself away from where it barreled back towards you just in time, the shot flying through where you had just been standing.

You landed on your side  _ hard _ , the wind getting knocked out of you. Panting to try and reclaim your breath, you scrambled back up and aimed back at him, but he was gone. You looked around, searching for where he’d disappeared to when you heard the sound of feet landing behind you. Rolling onto your back, you aimed the gun up to where he stood, but he was quicker than you and the gun was ripped out of your hands and thrown across the roof by an invisible force. And then you were being hauled upwards, his hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing tightly. 

Poe’s voice came from your wrist comm, “ _ Hey, you okay up there? I heard shots.”  _ You could only grunt as your windpipe was being crushed. 

Your attacker squoze even tighter as Poe repeated his question, menace glinting in his eyes. You swung your legs wildly, kicking him, doing anything you could to get him off of you. What was with these assholes and choking people?

Crimson plasma sliced through his arm, and you fell backwards as the limb separated from his body. The sith acolyte yelled out in pain as your eyes widened when you saw your savior. Saber crackling and thrumming, Kylo stood between you and your attacker, blade pointed at the Sith’s throat.

He looked down at where you remained on the ground stunned. 

“It’s a shame you didn’t stay with me. You might have actually learned how to save yourself.”, he taunted.

Raising his own arm, the other man froze suddenly as Kylo turned off the lightsaber and walked over to him. Clipping it to his belt, his newly freed hand hovered over the man’s face and you felt the Force thrum violently as Kylo tore into the man’s mind, digging through his thoughts without any semblance of concern for his well being. 

You clenched your teeth as the man screamed in pain again, agony visible on his face even as the rest of his body remained frozen. A hollow and empty coldness slammed into you, the air rushing out of you again. This was darkness unlike anything you’d felt before. 

“Kylo-  _ stop it _ .”, you whispered breathlessly. 

Whether or not he heard you, he made no indication, pressing his hand closer to the Sith’s face, the man’s eyes rolling into his head as Kylo pushed further into his mind. You were shaking violently now, your body feeling devoid of any warmth. 

“Stop it!  _ Please! _ ”

And right on the precipice of the acolyte’s mind breaking, Kylo released him. And then impaled him on his lightsaber, flickering the blade on and then off just as quickly, swiftly and precisely. Your vision swam as the man fell to the ground, his life force snuffed out in an instant. 

You remained fixated on the body at Kylo’s feet, trembling after witnessing such a violent and mindless killing. There had been no hesitation in the way he’d taken the man’s mind and life with so little regard, even if he’d been a threat. The light you’d sensed in him once was nowhere to be found. He felt no different from a stranger at this moment.

Blaster fire caught your attention as it flew over your head at Kylo, your body turning to identify its source. Poe was approaching quickly and firing at Kylo brashly.

“ _ GET AWAY FROM HER! _ ”, the pilot shouted at the darksider. 

Kylo deflected them easily, and you felt panic set in when you heard his growl of irritation. You knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Poe just as easily as he had the acolyte. In a moment of pure instinct, you launched yourself towards Kylo, grabbing him by the waist and pulling the two of you over the edge of the building. You heard Poe yell your name as you clutched your body against Kylo’s. 

You looked into Kylo’s face as you fell. Surprise had taken over his features. And his eyes, fear. His hand blocked your vision and you blacked out. 

*

After he’d made sure she was unconscious, he pulled her up against himself and righted himself in the air. Using the Force, he slowed their descent and landed on his feet rather than his back if he hadn’t intervened. He exhaled in mild relief that she hadn’t been hurt in her moment of thoughtlessness. 

When had she become so reckless? 

Kylo looked back up to where they had fallen from and watched Dameron’s face appear over the edge. Concern was etched into his features as looked for the two of them, spotting them quickly. After spotting where they were, with her unconscious in Kylo’s arms, he shouted down in alarm.

“Let her go, Ren! Don’t hurt her!”

Jealousy burned through Kylo at the protective way the commander spoke about her. Before he realized what he was doing, he hoisted her over his shoulder and took off down the alley. She was coming back with him, whether she wanted to or not. 

*

You felt yourself being adjusted when your consciousness slowly returned. A broad shoulder was in your stomach, making breathing somewhat difficult. Jolted awake by the realization you were being carried, you tried to push off of the body under you, fighting to get away. The memory of the last time you’d been in this position resurfacing, Trudgen carrying you to a prison cell where you were slowly tortured. You weren’t about to be a prisoner again. 

“Stop.  _ Moving. _ ”, Kylo ordered.

Then the memory of what had happened before you’d passed out came back. 

“Put me down, Kylo.  _ Now. _ ”, you hissed. 

He just kept walking, his grip on your thighs tightening instead, and not even dignifying your request with a response. 

Thoroughly pissed off by your current treatment, you slammed your fist down on his back, the impact making a loud thud that echoed in the alley. You felt him flinch from the blow and a hiss of irritation escape from him. 

“ _ I said stop moving. _ ”, he growled. 

“Then put _. Me. DOWN _ .”

Large hands grasped your waist and pulled you off of his shoulder and then you were being thrown against a wall. His hands slammed on either side of your head, one of his knees pressed alongside of you as well, caging you between the wall and his towering form. Adrenaline spiked in your blood, your heart racing in your chest. You could feel it beating against your rib cage like some trapped wild creature. Your breathing turned uneven as his face came within inches of yours, amber eyes glinting in the dark.

You glared at each other for a beat until you found your voice again. 

“I am not surrendering to you. So either kill me or let me go, because I will not be going with you willingly.”

“What is he to you?”, he snarled. 

“What? Who?”

“Dameron. What is he to you? Are you sleeping with him now?”, he pressed. 

You scoffed before laughing incredulously. 

“This is a new low, even for you, Kylo. Jealousy doesn’t suit the Supreme Leader.”, you bit out, eyes narrowed. 

His hand lifted from the wall, slamming close to where your head rested against it. The force of the impact caused a soft breeze that ruffled your hair against your cheek. You glowered at him defiantly, unwilling to let him have the satisfaction of seeing you afraid. You weren’t sure if he would hurt you or not at this point, and a thrill ran through you at the thought. 

His eyes searched your face for something, but you kept your mask in place. You wouldn’t be afraid.

Then lips were crashing against yours and you gasped, allowing him entrance into your mouth, his tongue sweeping inside. Instinct kicked in as you wound your hands into his hair, pulling him close as you returned the searing kiss. Part of you remembered you were supposed to be angry and you sank your teeth into his lower lip, drawing some primal noise from deep in his chest as you tasted blood. Your nails dragged along his scalp and down his neck, scratching him hard.

Hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you flush against him before hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist, fingers digging into your thighs. You pulled away, and his blood stained both of your lips. The two of you were panting as you pulled his collar down to gain access to the expanse of skin that was underneath. You pressed your mouth to a spot there and bit down, teeth piercing into the muscled flesh there. He groaned against the side of your head and you felt his hip cant up into yours. You moaned as you sucked on the skin and licked the mark that remained. You moved around, branding him with the impressions of your teeth and bruising the skin, mottling the pale flesh purple, and certain spots welling up with pinpricks of blood. 

He was twitching under you, hands groping at your ass and thighs, kneading them with his strong fingers. You rolled your hips against him, grinding yourself, desperate for the friction you desired so much. Gone was the chill that had settled into your bones, replaced with the fire of passion and possessiveness you’d kept locked inside yourself during your separation from the man you were currently claiming with your mouth.

You felt the solid heat of his cock hardening against your crotch and you moaned again, lifting your face back to his, his cheeks flushed for you. You clamped your teeth on his lower lip again, pulling it and releasing it before dragging your tongue against it, tasting the drying blood. His hand slipped between the two of you, palming your cunt through your trousers, rubbing at the spot where you were growing increasingly wet. The ache in your core grew almost unbearable and your head fell against the wall behind you.

Sensing your need, Kylo slipped his hand down under your waistband and underwear, finding your slick entrance quickly and pressing two thick digits into you. You gasped his name and clenched around him as he fucked you with his fingers. He latched onto your neck this time, tongue sliding up the length of it, biting you quick and fast, punctuating each pump of his fingers with the nip of his teeth. Pausing for a moment, he set you onto your feet so he could rip your bottoms down and off of your hips and onto the ground before pulling you right back up into his arms, fingers diving right back into your dripping cunt. 

“ _ Needed this _ .”, he murmured into the spot where your neck and shoulder met, sucking on it to leave a mark of his own. 

You wouldn’t say it out loud, but you wholeheartedly agreed. You missed the way he made your whole body feel like a burning star, burning brighter and brighter until you peaked and exploded in a brilliant display. You missed sharing his bed and being at his side. You missed  _ him _ . 

You craved him, even if you knew it would leave you feeling emptier than before. But at this moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You would give yourself one last taste. One last time. You would imprint the memory of being with him into your mind one last time. Every touch, every sound, every press of his lips on yours, everything, one last time. Sear it into your very soul so you could remind yourself of the person you’d let possess your heart and soul. 

You would take one last part of him with you, and give him one last part of yourself. 

Reaching down, you pulled his hand from where he was working you towards your orgasm, pulling his fingers to your mouth and sucking them clean. He groaned at the sight of you licking his fingers, tasting yourself on him. You let yourself get lost in his dark eyes as you snaked your hand down to his trousers, rubbing his swollen cock through them. You undid his zipper to release him and pumped his thick shaft a few times before lining the tip up with your entrance. Guiding him inside, you sank down on him until he bottomed out in you, groaning at that delicious stretch you’d been missing. 

You gripped his arms as he lifted you up and let you drop back down, plunging deep inside of you. You rested your forehead on his chest as you watched him fuck you, his cock pulling out, covered in your slick before he pushed back in, pace picking up with each thrust. He was panting in your ear, each breath frantic and desperate. Tears slipped from your eyes, obscured from his view as you murmured words of encouragement to him. 

“ _ Hah _ \- does he fuck you like-  _ ah _ \- like this?  _ Does he make you come like I did? _ ”, he grunted. 

Your breath caught at the abrupt questions. You looked up at him, cheeks still wet. 

“There hasn’t been anyone else since you, Kylo.  _ There never could be _ .”, you answered breathlessly. 

Your response awakened something new in him, and he kissed you again, driving into you even harder. His tongue swirled around yours and you cried out as he hit the bundle of nerves deep inside you. You tightened your legs around him and draped your arms around his neck pulling him to you until there was barely any space between the two of you. His hand came up to cradle the back of your neck and his thumb rubbed the skin there, so gentle and affectionate. 

The tender gesture, paired with the soft murmuring of your name against your lips proved to be too much and you shuddered as your orgasm came slowly and then all at once. You felt like you’d suddenly grown too large for your own skin, and you were bursting from inside yourself. You fell apart in his arms as he drove into you faster, chasing his own release as you gasped against him, skin feverishly warm. His own brow was dotted with perspiration and you reached up to brush his hair away from his face from where it clung there. 

“Come for me, Kylo. I want you to come for me. Please.”, you encouraged. 

You felt him twitch inside you as he shuddered, his climax making him squeeze his eyes closed as he came inside you. You felt his chest rumble as he moaned through it all and you nuzzled his jaw with your nose, feeling blissed out by your orgasm.

“I love you.”, you murmured to him.

His face was buried in your neck when he finally deposited you back onto your feet again. Your heart broke anew as you realized he’d understood this was the last time. You buried your fingers in his hair, still trying to memorize everything about him that you could at the moment. His embrace was all that kept you from breaking into pieces as you silently said goodbye to one another. You sniffled into the crook of his neck while his nose pressed against your pulse point in return. Tears soaked into his skin, where your marks littered his flesh. 

“Master, step away from her, please.”

Your heart dropped as you separated from Kylo to see Ap’lek a few meters away, ax in hand. You felt anger flare in Kylo at the disruption. He quickly fixed his clothing before turning to face his knight. 

“What are you doing here, Ap’lek? I told Vicrul I was to come alone.”, he growled. 

“I was worried you might have needed assistance, master. And it appears I was right. Everytime I think we’re rid of her, she shows right back up, in the way of our plans. She’s a traitor and a liar, master. She seeks to pull you to the light. Do not let her influence you.”, Ap’lek seethed, pointing his ax at you threateningly. 

Kylo positioned himself between you and Ap’lek. You grabbed your clothes from their place on the ground and pulled them on hastily while you had a chance to gather yourself as they spoke. 

“You presume to tell your master what he can and cannot do?”

Ap’lek sputtered as he struggled to come up with a response. 

“No, of course not- I just mean…”

You peeked from behind Kylo to watch as the warrior struggled, some grim form of satisfaction at seeing the usually calm and collected man fight to find words to defend his insubordination. You gave him a half smirk despite yourself from where you stood behind his master. 

You felt his emotions shift from nervousness to pure hatred as he saw your expression. 

“Master Ren, she  _ has  _ to die. You will never find peace until she is no longer around to distract you. If you won’t do it, then let me. She is keeping you from your true potential.”

He stepped forward a step, causing you to take one back away. 

“Ap’lek,  _ don’t. _ ”, Kylo warned. 

In a blur of movement, the knight rushed forward, raising his ax behind his head. You felt his intent to kill you and you tensed up to run. Before you could make your move, Ap’lek was pulled from his feet into the air and onto Kylo’s ignited blade. Time seemed to freeze in that moment. You didn’t have to see Ap’lek’s face to know that he was just as shocked as you were at Kylo’s betrayal. His ax dropped to the ground, the beskar clanging loudly. 

He drew the blade from the knight’s stomach, letting him fall to his knees and onto the ground. He didn’t move again. You could only stare at the back of Kylo’s head as he looked down at the body of his comrade. 

“I warned him.”, he said quietly. You weren’t sure if it was meant for you or for himself. 

He’d saved you again. Killed his own man to protect you, despite everything. Leia’s words came to you as you felt a flicker of hope spark in your chest.

_ Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night. _ __

One last time. You would try to reach him one last time.

“Ky…”, you began before you stopped yourself. You took a deep breath. 

“Ben.”

His body went rigid at the name.

“I know you’d say no if I asked, so I’ll just tell you instead.”

He remained facing away from you as you took a steadying breath.

“I love you. All of you. Light or dark, it doesn’t matter. And even if you say you won’t come back, I will be the one to bring you home. Maybe not today, but one day, you will take my hand, and we will come home together.” 

Without waiting for a response, you turned away from him.

“Until then Ben, goodbye.”

You left him standing over the body of his fallen comrade, the spark growing with each step you took. He didn’t respond. But he hadn’t said no either.

*

A few blocks away, you switched on your comm. 

“Come in, Poe.”

“Oh thank the stars, I was worried we’d have to organize another rescue mission to come save your reckless ass.”, he responded, voice thick with relief. 

“If I hadn’t thrown him and me off the building, we would not be having this conversation. So your welcome by the way. Anyways, I’m en route back to you. Please tell me you didn’t let the other one get away.”

“Of course not, BB-8 is watching him.”

You’re letting a  _ droid  _ watch a potentially Force sensitive darksider?”, you exclaimed. 

“Well, I mean I stunned him first.”

“For Kriff’s sakes, Poe, lead with that next time please?”

“Nah, I like making you sweat too much.”

“Go fuck yourself, Dameron.”, you groaned. 

“Maybe later, first meet me back at Ettan’s club, he’s got a room we can use for interrogation.”, he told you.

“Maker help me. See you soon.”

You finally felt like you had made progress. Quickening your pace, you hurried back to where Poe was waiting for you. It was time to get some answers.


	27. A Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return we never wanted.
> 
> But the return we got.
> 
> And the return we will fight to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for how long it took me to write this 😭
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait time on this, writer's block and work have had my ass and I am so happy I finally managed to finish this chapter. But hey look! We've made it to the beginning of the end. We have made it to the beginning of The Rise of Skywalker.
> 
> And now we're going to save our boy. 😤
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Stevie

You entered  _ The Serpent’s Dance _ ’s lobby again, taking the side hall the doorman had pointed you to when you arrived outside. At the end of it was a door guarded by a tall and intimidating looking Nautolan. She gave you a quick once over as you approached, stepping aside and granting you entry after apparently confirming your identity. You nodded your thanks before entering into a darker hallway, this one descending down below the main floor. 

After a short walk, you found yourself entering a dimly lit, narrow room. At its center was Poe, Vodi, and BB-8, standing in front of what you assumed was the other acolyte. They turned to you as you neared, allowing you to see past them. The other man was strapped up to an interrogation rack, identical to the ones used by the First Order. Identical to the one  _ you’d _ been strapped to only a few short months ago. Nausea hit you and you fought to swallow the bile that rose in your throat. 

Poe looked at you, concerned at the wince on your face, but you shook your head to dismiss it. You had a job to do, and you were a professional.

“You can’t imagine my relief when I heard from Poe that you were unharmed, my dear.”, Ettan murmured, a smile much too cheerful for the current situation. 

“To go up against the Supreme Leader of the First Order himself and to survive. What a story that must be.”, he continued.

“Another time perhaps? I’d like to find out what our friend here knows first.”, you answered.

Moving to the front of the rack, you looked down at your prisoner. His eyes narrowed at your arrival, pure hatred in their depths. You cracked a half smile at him and cocked your head.

“Comfy?”, you asked the man.

“You will get nothing from me,  _ girl _ . You and your friends will die soon, and we will rise to take back what was once ours.”, he spat.

“You all need to work on your threats, they’re becoming a bit repetitive.”, you answered back, sounding bored, picking at your nails. “Now then, it sounds like you’re aware of who I am, so I’m sure you’re well aware of my abilities of retrieving information. As well as my attunement to the Force. But what you probably  _ weren’t _ aware of, is that I have been busy honing my abilities to use the Force to extract information from other’s minds.” 

You felt his anxiety spike as you told him the lie.

“You- You’re lying. The Jedi would have never taught you such skills. Those are abilities only taught to followers of the Dark.”, he stammered.

You slid your gaze back to the man and gave him a wicked smile as you leaned in close, leveling your eyes with his.

“Did you forget whose side I once stood at? Did you really think I wouldn’t have learned something as useful as that from him?”, you murmured. “Besides, I’m not a Jedi. I have no qualms using such methods on pieces of bantha shit like you.”

His eyes widened in fear.

You stood up straight and turned your head to look at Poe out of the corner of your eye.

“I would suggest you leave the room gentlemen. This will not be pretty.”, you warned.

“ _ You’re lying _ .”, he repeated.

“Maybe I am. But you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

Poe grabbed your arm, pulling you aside to speak to you quietly.

“What are you doing?”, he whispered quickly.

“I’m trying to get information.”, you replied brusquely

“Can you actually do that?”, he asked, disbelief written on his face.

You sucked on your teeth and looked away.

“Kind of. Last time I tried to get into someone’s mind, I opened my mind to a room full of people at the First Order gala and it felt like my head was going to explode. But I wasn’t focused then, and I lacked training. It’s different now.”, you admitted.

“No. You’re not doing that.”

You looked back at him, mouth open to argue.

“How did you fix it? The headache thing”, he asked before you fight back.

“... Kylo did.”

“Then you’re not doing it now. There isn’t anyone to help you if it happens again.”

“ _ Poe _ . I have to. This could be our only chance to get ahead of them. I have to at least try.”, you urged. 

He shook his head before looking up at you from furrowed brows. 

“I can’t let you risk yourself like that. Do not make me pull rank on you.”, he warned. 

“Do you really think that would stop me?”, you asked with a small smile. 

“Then how about as your friend? I don’t want to have to carry your catatonic body out of here, or, Maker help me,  _ worse _ .”, he argued. 

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it while you looked him in the eyes, willing him to see your perspective. 

“ _ As my friend _ , I want you to believe in me. I know the risk, but isn’t it worth it to try and stop this war? We’re losing.  _ Badly.  _ I’m not trying to be a hero, I’m trying to give us a chance to stop these bastards for good. Please, Poe.”

His eyes searched your face, only finding your conviction there. He dragged a hand over his face, hand stopping to cover his mouth before he sighed defeatedly. 

“Fine. But you have to promise me that if anything feels like it’s about to go wrong, you’ll stop,  _ immediately _ . Okay?”, he compromised. 

You nodded quickly and stepped away back to the rack. Ettan was standing against a pillar nearby, watching the whole scene as it unfolded. You glanced over to him and he gave you an encouraging smile. The Sith looked at you through narrowed slits, hatred and distrust rolling off of him in waves. 

“Last chance to tell us of your own volition.”, you warned, raising your hand to his face, parroting what you’d seen Kylo do to the other acolyte on the rooftop. 

“I will die before I aid you,  _ rebel scum. _ ”, he seethed. 

Closing your eyes, you focused your energy with your breathing. Letting yourself fall into your meditative state, you let the Force surround you, feeling the ebb and flow of its currents around you. The dark energy surrounding the man in front of you was coiled tight, like a wild animal ready to lash out and strike. You reached out with your own and pushed against his, seeking a point of entry, a weakness to try and exploit. Unlike the last time you tried this, your current victim was aware of what you were doing, and had the means to block you.

You pushed harder, willing yourself to be stronger than him. You searched for any crack or hole, delving further into your trance. Distantly, you could feel sweat begin to slide down your face from the effort.

“You truly believe you can break into my mind? You are  _ nothing. _ You are  _ weak _ . Just like that Jedi. The Light can’t save you from your destiny.”, he taunted as you began to struggle.

“You’re right. So let’s skip the pretenses.”, you said as you found the near imperceivable crack in his mental shields.

You struck, your connection to the Force changing from the lighter aspect you usually favored into something more like Kylo’s violent bursts of dark energy. You mentally clawed the sliver open, tearing into it and his mind. You distantly heard him yell out in surprise and pain as you pulled your consciousness into his, his thoughts clear as day in your head. 

_ -How is she doing this?- _

_ -GET OUT- _

_ -She can’t know the truth, not yet- _

Taking ahold of that last thought, you pulled along the thread of it, chasing it as he tried to hide it away. You delved further, focusing your concentration as you pursued the information you were seeking. Blurry images appeared, and you saw figures in robes, an enormous cavern, flashes of light in the dark space, voices chanting. A figure attached to some sort of mechanical arm, surrounded by others. An empty throne. Monolithic statues towering over every scene that played out in your mind. The planet’s name entered your mind, Exegol.

“Show me what I want.  _ Now. _ ”, you murmured, pushing him even harder. 

Somewhere far away, screams began rising from a crowd above you.

_ The one on the arm spoke to a crowd, yourself among its numbers. _

_ “The time is nearly upon us, my faithful! Our rebirth is nigh, and we will see the fruition of our efforts and patience soon. From the First Order, the Empire is reborn!” _

_ An innumerable fleet of star destroyers, unlike any you’d seen before, hidden below the surface of the planet, illuminated by the dimmed glow of lightning above. _

“What is that? What’s going on up there?”, Poe asked, voice sounding far away.

“I’m not quite sure.”, Ettan answered nervously. “Teris, what’s happening up there?”

_ The crowd roared, rallied by his words. _

_“Now go forth, and spread the news of my return. And in 24 hours, the might of the_ Final Order _will remind the galaxy why we are to be feared and destroy anyone who dares to stand in our way. The Light will find its demise in the Dark once and for all!”, he bellowed._

“What do you mean Stormtroopers have entered the building? The First Order has no power in Hutt Space.”

_ Cheers rang through the cavern, mixed with applause and excited chattering. _

Hands grabbed your shoulders, your name was being said, but you could barely register it.

All you could focus on was the memory unfolding around you.

_ Long live the Empire! _

“(Y/N), we have to go! They found us!”

_ Long live the Emperor! _

Your name was being screamed in your ear, desperately trying to call you back to reality.

_ Long live Darth Sidious! _

“He’s back.”, you whispered.

The scene blacked out, replaced with a cloaked figure. The one who’d spoken in the memory. His pale, wrinkled face sneered out at you from under his hood, yellow teeth bared at you.

“I hope it was worth risking your life to get this information,  _ girl _ .”, Palpatine ridiculed, his milky eyes boring into yours. “Because you will perish before you get it back to your precious princess.  _ Now, die! _ ”

Pain lanced through like a shock of electricity coursing through you. You gasped, and pulled yourself from the man’s mind and fell back into Poe’s arms.

“Thank the stars! We gotta go, now.”, Poe exclaimed, pulling you along before you had a chance to ask what he meant. 

Ettan led the way out of the back of the room, into a hidden turbolift. 

“This way friends, I fear we don’t have much time. Quickly now!”, Ettan urged.

You all crammed inside the compartment, and Ettan pressed the button to close the doors quickly. 

“What’s happening?”, you asked breathlessly.

“The First Order, they found us. Stormtroopers breached the building, and we need to get out of here and fast.”, Poe explained quickly. “What happened back there? I was trying to shake you out of it, and you didn’t respond!”

“It’s Palpatine. He’s back. The Emperor is back.”, you told them, blood draining from your face.

“What?”

“I saw it. He’s… He’s back from the dead, and he and the Sith Eternal, they’re planning the return of the Empire. They’re planning on using the First Order to bring back the Empire. It makes sense now. The Imperial Remnant, the Sith. They’ve always lurked in the shadows after their fall. They’ve been biding their time while using the First Order to gather power and support so they could reveal themselves now, while the Resistance is weak. I’m still not sure how he came back, but it was him. They called him Darth Sidious. And he… He attacked me, through the connection I had with his follower. I was able to pull out in time, thank the Force. He’s weak, but still strong enough to see me through the bridge.”, you stammered out. “We have to warn them.  _ We have to warn everyone _ !”

Ettan was staring at you in disbelief, meanwhile Poe looked shocked at all the new information you’d just unleashed onto them. The doors opened and you all just stood there at a loss for words. BB-8 beeped snappily, bringing you back to the predicament at hand. 

“BB, get to the ship, get it started and send word to base we’re headed back with big news.  _ Hurry! _ ”, Poe instructed the droid.

Chirping an affirmative, BB-8 rolled out into Ettan’s office and to the doors leading back to the hangar bay. Ettan exited and walked over to a small table with a bottle filled with a green liquid and poured himself a glass before quickly downing it. Letting out an exhale, he turned back to the two of you where you stood in the middle of the room.

“Vodi, come with us. You can’t stay here. If they found out you helped us, they’ll arrest you. Or worse.”, Poe implored the older man.

“My dear Poe, I fully intend on leaving as soon as I can. But first, I do have a few matters to attend to, including making sure you three make it out of here safely. Now do me a favor, and help me check that off my list so I can get to leaving sooner rather than later?”, he said with a wry grin as he sat himself at his desk.

You heard the sounds of heavy footsteps rushing your way in the hall outside. You grabbed Poe’s arm and pulled him along towards the hangar. You looked back at Ettan and nodded at him.

“Thank you Ettan. We won’t forget what you’ve done.”, you vowed. 

He gave you a kind smile, this one more genuine than any of the others he’d given you previously. 

“May the Force be with you.”, you added as you entered the hangar and the door slammed behind you, locking mechanism turning into place.

The two of you rushed to the waiting X-wing, and hauled yourselves up into the cockpit. You pulled on your flight suit and somehow managed to remember how Poe had closed it up and checked your chest box’s tube connections.. 

“You ready?”, he asked.

“As I could be.”, you answered, giving him a thumbs up.

The ship’s canopy slid down and locked into position as the vessel began lifting from the ground. The ceiling doors opened for you, revealing the clouded sky. You hoped the smog above wasn’t concealing any closeby enemy craft, even though it was more than likely.

“Okay BB-8, let’s get us out of here.”, he prompted the droid, punching in a sequence in the navicomp behind you. He called down to you, “And you get ready to light up any TIEs that come at us, alright? Hopefully we can sneak past them first to make the jump before they spot us.”

“Roger that. Now let’s get the hell off this moon before we run into any more surprises.”, you urged, adrenaline beginning to spike in your bloodstream.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”, he muttered as he launched you all out of the bay and into the night sky.

Your weapons system gave no indication of no other star fighters within your proximity, but you kept your grip on the controls just in case. Dark clouds choked the area around you as you continued your ascent into the atmosphere, visibility extremely low, keeping you on edge on what might be waiting for you after you breached them.

And then the sky around you did clear. And waiting above the moon was exactly what you expected.

“Oh look, they brought a whole party. At least it isn’t a Dreadnought.”, you sighed, priming the laser cannons and engaging the targeting systems.

“Let’s give ‘em run for their money, shall we?”

The swarm of enemy craft surrounding the light cruiser spotted you instantly, making a beeline for your ship. Your heart began to race as you lined up your shot to the first one fast approaching. You pressed the triggers, unleashing a barrage of blasts, following the target as it veered around to avoid being hit, and began its own assault of laser blasts towards you. Poe expertly dodged and you did you best to keep up and predict his movements to maintain a steady aim. Soon enough you landed a hit to its right wing, causing the body to separate and spiral out of control past where you flew away from it. You moved on to the next target and began the process again of trying to knock out your opponents while Poe steered towards a clear shot at making a jump.

You were sweating from the tension of the fight and you weren’t sure you’d ever experienced any stress akin to this. All the other dogfights you’d been in had involved ships larger and better armed and shielded. Not to mention the fact you’d never been the one doing the shooting. All of your practice had been on mostly stationary targets back at base while BB had controlled the flight patterns to something more easily tracked. In the heat of actual battle, you felt like you were nearly having an out of body experience as the X-wing rolled and dropped to avoid the enemies vehemently pursuing you. 

Another TIE exploded to your left as your latest shot obliterated its engine. 

“You’re doing great down there, keep it up! A couple more and we’ll have a better shot at clearing the cruiser and making the jump.”, Poe shouted over the screams of the TIEs that flew by, way too close for comfort. He was now evading cannon fire from the cruiser’s surface cannons, as well as the TIE’s. The X-wing’s shields were holding, but a peek at the computer readings informed you that a few more well aimed shots from your attackers and those shields would be lost. 

Your concentration faltered as you watched a transport burst out from the clouds below, heading towards the cruiser. You lurched forward as a shot took out one of your cannons, knocking the starfighter to the right before Poe steadied the ship again. Panic set in as the computer wailed, warning you that shield integrity was at 37%. Poe hollered something, but you couldn’t hear him over the roaring in your ears.

You looked back at the transport getting closer to the cruiser’s launch tube. Taking a leap of faith, you reached out to the pilot inside, his familiar Force signature calling to you, just as yours did to his.. 

Silence surrounded you, despite the battle still going on around you.

“Ben.”

You saw him sitting down, gloved hands tight around the yoke of the ship. His head twisted towards the sound of your voice. His jaw clenched as he seemed to focus his eyes on you.

“Ben, please. Call them off. If they don’t stop firing on us…”, you trailed off, looking at him pleadingly. “We don’t have much time. Our shields won’t hold up much longer.”

His eyes bored holes into you, gaze searing. 

“Why should I?”

“You already saved me twice today. Do you really expect me to believe you won’t do it for a third time?”, you answered back, half jokingly. 

A muscle feathered in his jaw from how hard he was clenching his teeth now.

“Because you love me? Just as much as I love you.”, you said more seriously.

“I’m starting to wonder if I made the right decision when I did save you earlier.”, he said, irritation grating his voice.

But then he pressed some unseen button and spoke into a comm.

“Recall the fighters, we need to leave before the Hutts come for us.”

A pause.

“I don’t  _ care _ . This is an order,  _ now do as I command. _ ”, he spat.

You heaved a sigh of relief when the TIEs pulled back and veered back towards the cruiser.

“Thank you Ben.”, you told him.

“Don’t do anything stupid again.”, was all he told you before he severed your connection.

You sat back in your seat and panted as your senses came back to reality. Poe was steering the ship away from the First Order vessels and further into the black when you looked back over your shoulder at him. His mouth was set in a hard line when he pushed the lever that sent you hurtling into hyperspace, bathing you in the swirling lights of the stars. His eyes found yours and his brows pinched together.

“What happened back there? Who were you talking to? Because I know it sure as hell wasn’t me.”, he asked, confused.

You realized your conversation hadn’t been private with Ben.

“I, um…”, you stammered, trying to think of some excuse. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think of anything.

“I was talking to Ren. I told him to call off his forces.”, you explained quietly.

“Let me guess, some Force thing?”, he asked, and you nodded.

“Not even going into why that is absolutely crazy, I’m more curious about the part where you said he ‘saved’ you twice today. What did you mean by that?”, he asked a bit more forcefully.

You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes. You really weren’t in the mood to be interrogated anymore today. You bit back a snarky reply and instead looked up into the hyperspace lane you were contained inside of.

“On the roof, he killed the acolyte when he tried to strangle me to death. I thought it was more because of the fact he didn’t want me to get the intel, but then later, when he had me, he… he killed one of his Knights. Ap’lek. He was going to kill me too, but B-  _ Ren _ , he killed him first to protect me.”, you clarified.

You felt Poe staring at you. Your head was beginning to pound and you wished you could sink into the seat below you. 

“You called him Ben.”

“Yes.”

A heavy silence filled the cockpit as you both remained quiet for some time. You knew Poe was just worried about you, that you were just going to end up hurting yourself if you let your attachment to Ben grow too strong. But it was useless to worry about your feelings now. You’d thought about what would happen at the end of this all. That if you all didn’t die first, that if by some miracle, the Resistance did win this war, that would mean Ben would be arrested for war crimes. It didn’t matter if he was Leia’s son, or that he’d helped you more than a few times now. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and he would have to pay the price for the actions of the organization he led. He would have to be made an example of. 

Or he would die fighting first. And your heart ached at the idea. Which is why you had chosen to fight so hard to help the Resistance win. And that deep inside, you clung to the hope that you could turn him back to the Light. But if you couldn’t… you held onto the traitorous idea that maybe, before they could arrest him, you could spirit him away and disappear into the Far Reaches, never to be seen again.

You knew it was a pipe dream, for him to agree to give it all up and run away, but that was the thing about hope. It was a stubborn thing, and so were you.

Poe nudged your shoulder gently with his toe, making you look up at him.

“Hey, I’m sorry.”, he apologized.

“Apology accepted.”, you said with a tired smile. “And I’m sorry for worrying you, Poe. It’s all I could think to do to help.”

“I understand. And as much as I didn’t like the method, I’m grateful that we did make it out of there relatively in one piece. Now, why don’t you contact base and let them know we’re en route? ETA is about an hour and forty five. Let them know we’ve got big news.”, he suggested.

You switched on the comm and entered in the security code to access the Resistance’s communication network.

“This is Black Two reporting in with Black Leader. Come in, Base.”, you called through the comm.

“Copy that Black Two, hear you loud and clear.”, a female answered.

“Kaydel, we have urgent news for the General and the council. We’re expecting to make planetfall around 0743 hours. This is big. Bigger than we could have guessed.”, you relayed to the officer.

Connix hesitated before answering.

“Can’t be much bigger than the news that’s just been broadcasted to the entire galaxy.”, she said anxiously.

“What do you mean?”, you asked.

“The voice of the Emperor claiming revenge for the fall of the empire, and promising the same fate for the Resistance and any who would stand in their way.”, Connix said.

You gaped in surprise, looking at Poe. He looked just as shocked as you.

Connix said your name questioningly when you didn’t say anything back for several moments.

“That was our news too. Was there anything else?”

“No, just that.”

“Well I have a little more than that to go off of, but all in all, that was the biggest part.”, you concluded.”

Poe spoke up this time. 

“Kaydel, let Leia know we’ll need to speak to her as soon as we return to base. Rey too. We need to figure out our next plan of action, and soon.”, he ordered.

“Copy that Commander. See you guys soon. Be careful.”, she answered before you cut the line.

You were astonished at the turn of events. While you had gotten valuable intel, Palpatine had gained the upper hand by revealing himself so soon after you’d gained that knowledge. Frustrated, you slammed a hand against the console in front of you.

“Easy there!”, Poe exclaimed.

“I should have been more careful.”, you tsked. “We could have had the element of surprise if I’d just been more careful. But now he knows that we know, and he’ll be on his guard.”

“I’m pretty sure he’d be on his guard, even if he didn’t know you’d found out.”, Poe pointed out.

“Maybe, maybe not.”, you lamented.

You dragged your hand down your face, and tried to sort through all the thoughts racing through your head.

“Ben knew before I did. He saw the information in the other acolyte’s head. He might have more information than us too, if that one was telling me the truth when he said the one we caught didn’t know much.”, you told the commander.

“Well did you learn anything that Palpatine didn’t mention when announced his return from the dead?”

“That they’re using the First Order as the foundation to rebuild the Empire, and the name of the planet they’re hiding on. Exegol.”

“I’ve never heard of a planet called that before.”

“Neither have I. Maybe it was a codename. I’m not sure. We’ll have to check the maps when we get back.”, you noted. “Let’s just hope we’re not too late.”

“Here’s to hoping.”

*

Your arrival back at base was a rushed affair, Poe and yourself dropping out of the cockpit and the two of you being whisked off to the  _ Tantive _ for a debrief of the events of the past hours spent on the Smuggler’s Moon. You gave a detailed account of the interactions with the acolytes, and a not so detailed account of your interaction with Ben. Rey and Leia both looked at you with mild scrutiny as you glossed over the affair, only mentioning your abduction and the escape while he had been distracted. For some reason you felt it was too intimate to disclose that he’d killed one of his own men, and instead told the council that a foolish vagabond had been the cause of Ben’s diverted attention and you’d managed to slip away. Leia looked away when Poe gave his account, but you could still feel Rey’s gaze boring into the side of your head. 

“In less than 17 hours, Palpatine and his Final Order will attack and subjugate the rest of the free worlds with a fleet unlike any we’ve ever seen before.”, you finished.

The room filled with mutters and panicked whispers about the impossibility of the situation and the direness of it all. A weight settled in your chest at being the bearer of the bad news and 

While the council debated the next course of action, she motioned at you to follow her out of the ship while the general and the commander remained with the others. The two of you slipped out unnoticed as the discussion grew tense and uneasy with the new intel. You followed Rey to her living space, similar to Leia’s, covered by an overhang and surrounded by bits of junk and scrap the former scavenger tinkered with in her free time. 

“I was going to bring it up inside, but I thought maybe I would ask you first.”, she said as she pulled out one of the Jedi texts she kept in her quarters. 

She flipped it open until she came to a page with detailed drawings of an item that looks similar to the Sith holocrons you’d seen in the text back on the  _ Supremacy _ . You sidled up next to her, peering at the pages. She pointed to a particular passage that described the device, and a name jumped out to you immediately.  _ Exegol _ . 

“This is a Sith wayfinder. They were made to help navigate to the planet you saw, Exegol. It’s not listed on any star charts, but it was described in legends as a hidden world of the Sith. The only way we’re going to find it is if we find one of these first.”, she explained.

“Okay, so where do we find one?”, you asked your friend.

“Luke searched for a long time, but the trail went cold in the Forbidden Desert of Pasaana. I think it’s best we start there and see if we can find anything he might have missed.”, Rey suggested.

“And what makes you think you’d be able to find what my brother couldn’t?”, a voice interrupted, tone serious. 

“General!”, you yelped at her sudden appearance.

“Master...”, Rey started. “We have to try. What other choice do we have?”

“Even if you do find it, what then? You’re just going to walk into a Sith hive, and do what exactly? His own apprentice died killing him the last time and even that wasn’t enough to stop him.  _ He is too powerful _ .”, Leia said gravely.

Rey looked at her master, sorrow in her dark eyes.

“Leia, I don’t want to go without your blessing, but I will.”, she insisted. “It’s what you would do.”

You watched the tense exchange, your own words stuck on your tongue. Rey was right, Palpatine had to be stopped at all costs before his fleet could get out into the rest of the galaxy and start the next empire. 

Leia looked between the two of you. You nodded at her, signaling your agreement with your friend. The general looked down at her feet and sighed.

“I don’t like this, at all. But you’re right. This is the only chance we’ll have.”, she acknowledged.

You inhaled, relieved at her assent. That is until she looked pointedly at you.

“But  _ you _ , you’re staying here with me. I have another job for you. Come with me.”, she commanded, turning to lead the way.

Your brow furrowed in confusion and glanced at Rey. She shrugged, unsure of what to say. 

“General-  _ Leia _ … give me a moment, please? I need to speak to Rey about something first.”, you asked before she could get too far.

“Make it quick.”, she answered.

“Of course.”

You turned back to your friend. Before you left to join Leia, you had one last thing you needed to ask her. Your chest tightened as you realized this could possibly be the last time you saw each other if the Final Order and Palpatine got their way. 

_ Force help us. _

*

Kylo stood among the fallen, soldiers and foes alike strewn about in the aftermath of battle in the charred forest of Mustafar. His face was smeared with soot and sweat, and his hair clinging to it from fighting the enemies who protected the item he’d been searching for. Flames licked the spindly trees surrounding him, casting an orange glow to the scene. Dark whispers called to him from behind him, and he turned towards the source.

The stone chest the cultists had been guarding waited for him, beckoning him over to reveal its contents. Adrenaline and anger coursed through him, augmenting his strength with the Force as he shoved the top of the box off onto the ground behind. The square base of the wayfinder contrasted against the pale stone, and he gripped it, pulling it out from where it had rested for years, waiting for this moment.

A single red dot moved inside the strange green glass etched with ancient looking markings.

The rumors of Palpatine returning had been among the reports the First Order’s intelligence network had begun to pick up the past month, and while many hadn’t given much credence to them, Kylo had known better.

When he’d torn into the mind of that piece of Bantha shit who’d dared laid a hand on  _ her _ , he’d seen the decrepit man speaking to his flock of darkside loyalists, claiming their place in the galaxy as the true rulers. And their use of  _ his _ organization for their own gain. And he knew he would need to put an end to their plot immediately before they gained anymore of a foothold than they already had. And then he would take the steps to finally wipe out the Resistance, and then the galaxy would bow to him. 

And she would come back to him. One way or another.

His eyes closed as he held the wayfinder, the Dark calling him to the planet that awaited him.

_ Ben _ , her voice echoed in his head.

_ No _ .

His eyes snapped back open. 

_ Focus _ , he told himself.

_ I love you _ .

Her face haunted him in his own mind. The feel of Ap’lek’s body falling from his deactivated hilt.

This had to end. Now.

He turned back from the chest, wayfinder in his hand as he stalked over to his awaiting TIE Silencer. Dropping into the cockpit, he connected the small pyramid to his navicomputer, setting the system to the coordinates stored inside the device.

_ It’s time to put an end to all that stands in my way. _

**Author's Note:**

> Just want to shout out the wonderful ladies of the Thirst Order for their support and encouragement, and this is all for you babes!! <3


End file.
